Good evening. Good evening, Sangha. Good to be with you. So, time being, what an interesting fascicle, and I don't know how all of you are relating to it, or if you are, if you've been reading it or thinking about it, but I'm noticing a lot of juice around this particular fascicle. It's really intriguing, and I'm enjoying very much, feeling, you know, Dogen's kind of mind kind of creeping in, talking to me a little bit like, have you thought about this or you thought about that? So uji, that classical uji, time being. So I want to begin by sharing some interesting comments about this word uji itself, which I've read that have been made by modern scholars, Dogen scholars. So one of them points out that in the Japanese language, The pronunciation of the words for time and for being, when combined, would be pronounced the Japanese word arutoki.

[01:20]

Toki is time, aru, existence. So arutoki meaning once or once upon a time or at one time. So that's a familiar phrase for us, once upon a time. And as these scholars propose that Dogen is intentionally misreading these characters to give them an entirely different meaning, a different impact on the reader. He doesn't use this term arutoki in this fascicle. There are a number of other Dogen fascicles where he uses this more common reading of arutoki as time being, but in those cases it means something like, and then one day, Then once upon a time, and then this happened, and then that happened. A phrase that might signal that some important event is about to happen. And then one day, which is the same way most of our Western fairy tales begin, once upon a time, conveying a sense that something very important is about to happen. So that's a really different idea than what's going on in this fascicle.

[02:26]

So this familiar language of fairy tales also lets us know that the events that we are being told about are separated from one another in time, with the earlier event usually being the cause of what is going to come later, cause and effect. Cause and effect are, in our way of thinking, separated by time. It takes some time for the cause to result in the effect. So I like this example I've often used. Once upon a time, a handsome young prince left the palace and went into the forest where after many years of struggle he became a Buddha. Cause and effect. So for these scholars, Dogen is intentional in establishing that time and being are not separate. They're not separate. There is no gap between this and that as there is in a causal explanation. This happened, then that happened. He said, uh-uh. Time being is not like that, it's like this. So, and that events such as before and after, or this and that, are illusions.

[03:32]

You know, that storytelling itself is of the nature of illusions. You know, we create illusions. And furthermore, that the only point in which being and time come together is in the all-inclusive present moment. You know, this one. In other words, the universe itself is the only unit of time, and it's the whole of time. Okay, that's kind of fun. Kind of cosmic accordion, just squeezing everything together into the now. The universe is right now. This is what we're experiencing right now, is the entirety of the universe from our particular vantage points. Whether we're out on the edge or in the middle or in the south, we have no idea. There's no way, there's no measurement. The whole universe has no way of being measured, you know, measuring itself. So as we have been and will be hearing, the central theme of Uji, among other fascicles, is the inseparability of time and existence in the ever-changing present.

[04:44]

And the primary purpose of this discourse is to awaken us to the vastness of the present moment and to ourselves. as inhabitants of a pure land of spiritual freedom beyond measure. So that's kind of this, you know, the point of this is to kind of open us out, you know, really out, way out, you know, rather than the usual way we think of me. Me, I'm just sitting here, right here, tiny little chair that I'm sitting on here in Green Gulch Farm, tiny little spot on the coast of tiny little California, right? So it's different thinking, different way of thinking about ourselves. So Dr. Hee Jin Kim, who I'm very fond of and I've recommended to you before, he's wonderful to read and I think he's very insightful. He's a Dogen scholar. He tells us that this teaching is not for the sole purpose of inducing a vision of this Buddha land, kind of like I was just doing, like yahoo, you know.

[05:44]

It's not for that purpose, although it can help with that. but rather to penetrate into the core of that vision as equally being the core of our own embodied life. So not to skip over our embodied life, our personal life, right there at the core is the same reality as the universe. It's the same time being, the same essential functioning is happening right here in each of us as is happening within the entirety. You know, so Dogen's emphasis on zazen is an emphasis on our coming to a realization of that embodied truth. You know, that just this is it. Kind of shorthand for all of that. Just this is it. This is it. Big it. So I often remind myself about that. That's one of my favorite phrases. You know, once I heard that one, I go, that's helpful.

[06:44]

Just this is it. Just this. is it. So again and again. And according to Uji, Zazen falls outside of the usual notions of past, present and future. And as Dogen says, when even just one person at one time sits in Zazen, they become imperceptibly one with each and all the myriad things and permeate completely all time. So he's doing this again, you know, just expands like the expanding universe of the mind of our ability to conceive of these words and what they might mean and what are they referring to but mostly we're using words we're using language to kind of there's a saying and Zen I've heard before like you use the thorn of language to take out the thorn of what language has done to us how it's trapped us so you use language to remove that form of you know contractions and limitations

[07:45]

So this is the opposite way of thinking and talking. And so even though this truth doesn't suddenly change, whether you are sitting or standing or walking around, we are more likely to reflect on these teachings when we are settled onto our seats and allowing somebody else to keep track of the schedule, what we call time, you know, like 40 minutes. So a period of settled awareness in which the ultimate limits of both time and existence of delusion and realization are being stretched to their very ends. I don't know if any of you have ever made pizza, but that's coming to mind right now. It's really fun. You have this little ball of dough and then you start pressing it out, you know, from the center and you keep pressing. Pretty soon you've got this kind of thin dough and you can actually, I've done this because... spend a lot of time in the kitchens you can actually spin it and it gets even bigger you know you can do that thing you've seen in the movies when pizza makers are throwing the dough up in the air and so on and so forth it's kind of like that we're doing that we keep stretching and expanding our sense of of what what it is and what we are and where we are and so on so the meeting point of all of that that process is a pivot called samadhi

[09:04]

I think you've heard the word samadhi. It means bringing together, to bring it all together. So it means the kind of total self-collectedness, such as happens in states of deep concentration and unification, by means of which each side is seen to determine the other. Okay, so now we're looking at dualistic thinking. We're just looking at each side, meaning there seem to be two things. I mean, one of the main two things there seems to be is me and you. So that's the two things, the subject and the object. That's the big one that's got our attention and has had our attention since we first opened our eyes when we were very little. So these two things, there's a pivot there. There's a way in which the creation of that idea that there's a separation, that there are really two things, is what we're beginning to concentrate on. We're beginning to bring the focus or attention. Again, I'm talking about concentrated awareness, such as the folks here have been doing for these last months or so in the practice period, they're concentrating, they're sitting there, you know, for hours, every morning, hour and a half, we sit and then evening, they go back and they sit for another hour and a half.

[10:21]

And then they have one day sitting as they have half day sittings, they have three days machines, they have five days machine, they're going to have a seven days machine. So they're really bringing themselves back again and again. into this state where they can basically focus on this place where we split, where the split is taking place, this illusory split between ourselves and the world. So that's kind of the purpose of this exploration. So we begin to see how right is what determines left, how up is what determines down, how delusion is what determines awakening, and how you determine me and I determine the world. There is nothing outside and there is nowhere else to go. All-inclusive reality, time being, as Dogen's calling it, the time being. I really like it now very much in the mornings in the zendo,

[11:23]

Sometimes we're kind of in between things. We're not in practice periods. So there's a lot more fidgeting going on, a lot more active, you know, moving. But this, right now, we're kind of halfway through the practice period. They're coming up on the seven-day seshing that will end the practice period. The whole row that I can see from where I sit is absolutely still. You know, I just enjoy so much glancing up at them. And there's just this row of... of absolutely still and quiet beings, human beings, sitting along on the Tan. And yeah, it's lovely. It's a lovely thing to be there and to be joining them and doing the same thing. I can't see my row. I'm on the other row. But I imagine it's similar going on on the other side of the room. So one Japanese philosopher says that this is the place where impermanence happens, that place of splitting is the place where this experience we have of things not lasting, like birth and death, you know, it's right there at the pivot, before and after, up and down, you and me.

[12:33]

There's a pivot point there, the place where impermanence happens, you know, that's what we're putting our eye on, our eye of practice, where the self with all of its contradictions comes into an intimate union with its opposites. The self comes into an intimate union with its opposites. Its opposites being everything else. So this intimate union with the entire world, with the entire universe, is realized in that moment of concentrated awareness. The self disappears, the universe disappears, there's just presence, just awareness. The union of me with all of you is the dissolution of our separation, moment after moment, impermanence. So this is one reason we're directed in Zen toward our everyday activities. That realization of inseparability comes not by separating ourselves from ordinary reality, from G, from all the little Gs running around.

[13:38]

That's not the job we're trying to do here, is get away from something. but by transcending or rising above the idea that those little things are separate from us, you know, that they're not actually creating us in each and every moment. That we are actually being made by all of these tiny little experiences and movements and colors and all of the stuff that we could, we could spend the entire, we do, we spend our entire lives naming all of those things, you know, that make us, that are co-creating us and us co-creating them. It's important that each of us is in the picture. We are the center of all of that awareness and all of that concentrated realization is happening in each and every individual. So we're not trying to transcend anything. We're not trying to get out of anything. Rather, by becoming everything, by becoming it, by becoming whatever it is you have in your hands.

[14:39]

Because when you hold something in your hands, you bring it to life, your life. So that object, it's a glass of water or the bell I just rang or a piece of paper, whatever it is, it comes to life in connection with me. I bring it to life. And when we do that with awareness, when we speak or when we write a note or when we... walk down the road, whatever it is, when we do that with awareness, we bring our life to everything that we're doing and everything that we touch and see, and by realizing oneself in it and in the totality of the world. So I want to go to the text itself and look again at this introductory poem, which Dogen says, begins by saying, an ancient Buddha,

[15:40]

An ancient Buddha once said, For the time being, stand on top of the highest peak. For the time being, proceed along the bottom of the deepest ocean. For the time being, three heads and eight arms. For the time being, an eight or a sixteen foot body. For the time being, a whisk or a staff. For the time being, a pillar or a lantern. For the time being, the sons of Zhang and Li. for the time being, the earth and the sky. So looking again at these opening lines of this poem, Dogen gives these two sets of extreme opposites as examples of for the time being. So the first set of opposites is the highest peaks, which then pivots, you know, this pivot, pivots to the bottom of the deepest ocean. So these are contrasting, these are elements that seem to be quite opposite from one another, from the highest mountain to the lowest point in the sea.

[16:46]

And then the next set of two things, there's a time being of the three heads and eight arms. That one is referring to the demons of delusion. I think I said something different last time, but I've been doing a little more studying, so I'm more confident that this is referring to demons, three heads and eight arms. And then on the other extreme, contrasting with the demons, is an eight or 16-foot body. Well, an eight or 16-foot body, an eight-foot body is a seated Buddha, golden Buddha, all aglow, and a 16-foot body is when the Buddha stands up. So you have an eight or a 16-foot body, depending on what the Buddha is doing. So these are two contrasts. You have demons on one side, and you have Buddhas on the other side, so-called other side, right? Two sides. Again, we're playing with these dualities, these two things, as we do all the time, maybe not so consciously, right?

[17:49]

We kind of just assume it. So the right now of time being is where these two extremes, one of place and the other of states of being are both present in the here and now of time b and both must be present in our understanding in order for our understanding to be complete you know if we try to leave out one side or the other like i was saying this morning if you were happen to be listening to the talk you know it would be really nice if i could just leave out all the bad parts and just have all the good parts so put all the good stuff over here put all the bad stuff out there Just split, split myself so that I don't have any bad parts. That's not complete. My good parts require my bad parts in order to be aware of them. I need to be aware of when I'm drifting over into unconscious and unskillful behavior. And when I'm drifting back to what I imagine to be skillful behavior.

[18:50]

That's another kind of illusion, but it's one that we recommend over this one. you know, as an intention. I was just watching this sweet little YouTube of a man, lovely man, and he was so sweet. He had found a deer that had been hit by a car, and he was so sweet, and he picked up this little deer and he took it to the vet. the vet was able to do some repairs and then he carried it back out into the woods and and he said if she puts her head back then she's not going to survive so he kept trying to keep her head forward and he thought he said to he said i'm sure she has a terrible headache because she getting had been banged on the head and he just stayed with her for a long long time he just stayed with this this lovely little creature who eventually got up on her legs and eventually began to walk and seemed to come back, you know, from near death. And he was crying, sweet older man, and saying, you know, you do this stuff, but you don't know if it's good or not.

[19:55]

I don't know if I did something good or not. I don't know how she's going to do out there, you know, with this head that's been damaged. And somehow I just kept feeling how tender I felt toward him in like, just do it anyway, you don't know, but he's he hopes, he has a great hope that what he did was a good thing. You know, we just don't know. We can't follow our actions out the door and down the street and over the years that come from there. So we just make our best bet. What is it to do good? And so on. So, so even though we experience only one side, or the other side of our two-sided reality, the one side being the mundane world, G, all the parts, and the other, the multidimensional and inconceivable world, which is just as available to us, is just as much what we are as is the parts. It's good for us to know that both sides are always there, or rather always here.

[20:56]

Both sides are always present. They're both needed. in order to explain each other. We need that. More like I was saying again this morning, it's more like a balancing act. We're trying to figure out how to balance these sides, so-called sides of ourselves and of our actions and of our relationships to things in the world, things that matter. It's okay to let it go when you're, I don't know what you're doing, playing pool or something. It's okay to just relax and enjoy the game. But for us, this is really about our, are questions that involve morality or ethics. Where it really, it kind of matters. There is no place for us to hide from our own behavior. So Dr. Kim says, the relationship between delusion and enlightenment is such that one is not the simple negation or absence of the other. The relationship between delusion and enlightenment is such that one is not the simple negation or absence of the other, nor does one proceed or succeed the other.

[22:02]

If both were not present, we could not respond readily from one side or the other. So even though one side is hidden, such as a moment of selfishness, the other side is included in that selfish appearance. If it weren't, we couldn't recognize our selfishness or our anger. There'd just be anger, nothing to contrast it to, or just selfish. That's kind of what narcissism's about. Yeah, that's just the truth. It's just what I think. It's just who I am and here I come. It's sort of like there's no question about being the one or being right, being right. So we're the doubters. We're the ones that are really questioning. you know, questioning what's happening, questioning our own actions, our own motives, you know, not to be unpleasant about it, you know, not trying to torment ourselves, but to really be interested, you know, like a good scientist, like what is going on here? You know, what just happened? You know, how am I doing?

[23:04]

And of course, the best resource for that is, is our friends, our other people, how am I doing? You know, how's it going? How did that? How was that for you? So there would be nothing to contrast our behavior with, and therefore we would be incapable of engaging in any ongoing study of ourself. As Dogen recommends, as you all probably have heard many times, to study the Buddha way is to study the self. That is the Buddha way, is studying the self and all of these aspects, you know, the upside and downside and so on, and the inside and so on and so on. So when we include both sides of ourselves, the three-headed demon and the 16-foot golden Buddha, we include everything that we are and we avoid getting caught in some limited view of our Dharma position. We want to find that unlimited view, the one that keeps opening out, you know, like the pizza dough. It just keeps getting wider and wider and wider, you know, more interesting.

[24:08]

And then as Shinju Roberts says in chapter one of her very helpful book, I'm going to write her a fan letter. Nice job. Way to go. So chapter one of Time Being, we may, when we find ourselves wanting to deny our own unskillfulness, the three-headed demon, because it doesn't fit our idea of a Buddhist practitioner, for example, denying our difficulties and our unskillfulness will only draw them out. Often when we least want them to appear. I imagine all of you have had that happen. I certainly have. When I least want to do something that will embarrass me is oftentimes when it just pops right out. Because I haven't worked with it. I haven't made friends with those tendencies to such an extent that I can actually appreciate them and give them a maybe smile at them and go like, no, not now. No, not now. This is not the time. So by accepting our limitations, along with our Buddha nature, we begin to discover the wisdom and the compassion that pervades the totality of the universe, which contains them both, contains it all, right?

[25:20]

All-inclusive. Shinshu also includes a quotation from another of Dogen's fascicles called Se Xin Se Shou, meaning speaking of mind, speaking of essence. in which Dogen says, from the time that we establish the Bodhi mind, the mind of awakening, and direct ourselves toward training in the way of the Buddha, we sincerely practice difficult practices. And at that time, though we keep practicing, in a hundred efforts, and although we keep practicing, in a hundred efforts, we never hit the target, not even once. So, you know, it's just... I think any of you who've done a sport or you've done some kind of, I don't know, I can't think of something exactly. Well, target's good. So shooting arrows at a target is a good one. You keep practicing and you're missing, you're missing. It's just frustrating. But nevertheless, sometimes by following good counselors and sometimes by following the sutras, we gradually become able to hit the target.

[26:27]

One hit of the target now is by virtue of hundreds of misses in the past. It is one maturation of hundreds of misses. I really appreciated that. I thought, that's a wonderful way to think about mistakes. You know, like, oh, that was a mistake. Rather than getting caught up and like, oh, I'm so embarrassed, that was a mistake. It's like, that was a learning. That was my... opportunity to learn something. Let me try that again. Well, let me try that again. A hundred times. A hundred misses. And by the end of that time, it's like, whoa. And don't get carried away then either. It's like, do it again. See if you can do it again. So I really appreciated the point that Dogen made in this passage. It's so easy to be critical towards ourselves when we make mistakes. and when we miss the target, rather than appreciating the effort that leads us to practice in the first place. You know, to care deeply about practicing in the first place. The wholehearted effort itself is the path of awakening.

[27:31]

It is the mind of awakening. So this is a very important point that I think is really, I think many of us miss for many long years of practice is that Your wanting to practice isn't about doing well. It's not about how well you hit the bell or how well you sit there in the Zen. And nobody's really judging anybody about any of that except yourself. It's really that effort that you showed up in the first place and you make that effort to be there. That's the awakened mind. That's the bodhicitta, the mind of awakening. I think I may have told you all before, and perhaps you already know the story of the late Colbincino Roshi, who was a marvelous teacher, very, very special human being. He kind of floated. I've heard him, been around him a few times, and he was really kind of a floater. He just kind of would move into a space, and then he kind of, like a jellyfish, he'd kind of float around, and then he'd float out again, and he'd talk like that, too.

[28:32]

It was kind of wonderful to be in his presence. Anyway, he was down at Esalen. And he was demonstrating the art of the Japanese art craft, Zen craft. Yeah, I could call it craft. It's called Kyudo, which some of you may know about. And they had set a target up on the edge of the property overlooking the ocean. So then Kogan arrives in a ceremonial dress with his long ornate bow and quiver full of arrows to perform the formal gestures of preparing for the demonstration. then he pulls back the string and he waits so i have this picture that i really love i've seen it before and i was very happy to find it and i share it with you of one of the great masters of kudo and i mean there's not so much going on in this picture but holy cow you know what human beings can do is something amazing so So there's, that's not Koeman, but that's probably what he looked like with his ceremonial clothing, you know, his shoulder is bared so the string doesn't get caught up in the clothing.

[29:54]

And the bow, I have actually held and tried to shoot one of these bows. It's kind of amazing, actually. It takes quite a bit of strength to do that, to do what this wonderful teacher, Gen Shiro, Professor Gen Shiro. So Coburn's doing that. He's at Esalen and he's all set up and he's doing that. And then at the last minute he turns his body and he shoots the arrow into the ocean. And when he's asked by the people who were there why he did that, he responded, can't miss. So that's the kind of the spirit practice that's the spirit of learning things it's not about hitting the target not about the prize you know winning the race or anything else it's that amazing this practice this this amazing teacher has been practicing you know standing that way and pulling back that bow and and and waiting you know for probably decades

[30:59]

And there's something that really moves me in seeing that effort. I'm quite drawn, using the bow metaphor, quite drawn to that kind of, whether it's dancing or singing or whatever it is, it's just, you can see the practiced effort in people who do things as though effortlessly. So then the next two lines of the introductory poem are also a set of contrasting elements having to do, in this case, with monastic training. So the first two lines we looked at were the highest peak in the deepest ocean, there was the demons and the Buddhas, and now we have, for the time being, a staff or a whisk, for the time being, a pillar or a lantern. So the staff and the whisk are symbols representing the Zen teacher. You know, I have a staff and I have a whisk. These are all implements that are given to you in various times in the course of your practice life.

[32:04]

So once I received Dharma transmission, then I got a whisk, you know, that horsetail whisk, the famous one that the teacher often, you know, puts in the face of the student to quiet them down. And then the staff is something that's used ceremonially, too. So just recently, I was able to use my staff again, I think I've I only used it a few times. Once when I became abbess, I used my staff to go up these steps to what's called the mountain seat. And then in March, I used my staff to come down the steps from the mountain seat, ending my time as abbess. So the staff and the whisk are symbols of the Zen teacher. And then for the time being a pillar or a lantern, these objects represent the training temple and the garden of the temple. So you have the pillars, which are created. If you've ever been to some of these amazing temples in Japan, which I was able to visit some years back, it just blew me away. The pillars were enormous.

[33:04]

They look like the size of the redwood trees here in Green Gulch. It's just huge. pillars and then on top of the two entryway pillars was another one the same size it was laid across and it's like how did they do that i mean it's just beyond belief i mean i we've got cranes and all these kind of mechanical things but this was human labor that put these enormous structures into place built these incredible and absolutely stunningly beautiful temples remember when i was there i kept thinking like Boy, these craftsmen are really the heart of the practice. You know, not the monks running around. I mean, that's fine. You kind of need them, sort of the reason those buildings are there, so the monks can run around doing the cleaning and sitting in the zendo and so on and so forth. But the builders of the temples who are, they're anonymous. Nobody's signing their work. Nobody knows the names of these, you know, of Jiang and Li, these common names.

[34:05]

And yet, the craftsmanship is just stunning. So for the time being, a pillar or a lantern, lanterns are in the garden. So as with the other verses, these are also mutually exclusive, I'm sorry, inclusive. At the time being of the teacher, the student is already there, no student, no teacher, you know, mutually dependent. And a skillful response is when each of these mutually inclusive Dharma positions are acting appropriately, meaning for the benefit of each other, and especially for the benefit of transmitting the Buddhist teaching and the practice from generation to generation, which is what all of us have been charged with doing. I mean, your job, it was made clear to me at some point when I realized I was kind of on the track and I'd gotten on the track, not intentionally, but there I was on the track of training and doing all these different things that involved in our Zen training, that your job is to pass this tradition on. to the next generation.

[35:06]

And ritually, there's a lot of ritual. Right now, Jiryu, our new abbot, is in the process of passing on his dharma to a student of his who's arrived here from Colombia. And he will be giving him dharma transmission to take back to Colombia. And then when he's in Colombia, he can begin to create the conditions for his students. to begin to grow into teachers in their own right. You know, this mutually dependent situation here. I just got some very beautiful photographs from a student that I gave Dharma Transmission to a number of years back. Her name's Raerun. She's in the Milwaukee Zen Center, which she's basically carrying on very beautifully. And she's the teacher there. And she just ordained, lay ordained her first students. and there's this wonderful picture of them with her new raksus on, and she's standing there with a very bright face, very happy face. And I felt the same way when I saw those pictures. It made me so happy to see this transmission of these much-loved traditions from one generation to the next.

[36:15]

So the effort to attain realization by the student is driven by the realization of the teacher, and therefore is realization itself. You know, like error points meeting in mid-air, teacher and student. Each element of training, whether in a temple or out in the city streets, are already fully engaged with actualizing the fundamental point, the Buddha way. So then the next verse, the last two of this poem, for the time being the sons of Jiang and Li, and for the time being the earth and the sky. That's an interesting set pair. You know, the sons of Zhang and Li. And then there's the earth and the sky. So how are those two being put together? Teacher and student makes a little sense. The temple and the teacher and the training and all that. The mountaintop and the ocean and so on. But the sons of Zhang and Li and the earth and the sky.

[37:18]

So in this verse, what's going on is that Dogen is contrasting two very common Chinese names, Zhang and Li, like some of us with Anglo-Saxon names, Smith and Jones, with the great elements that support and cover us all, the Earth and the sky. So all of the elements making up the Earth and the sky, from the molecules to the formation of planets and stars, are present in the time being of Zhang and Li. Neither one of them None of us could exist without the whole universe as our nursery, as our true home, our true parent. And as Shinshu says, the great life of the cosmos is just the everyday life of the common people. That's us. We are the everyday life of the cosmos. So in these opening verses, Dogen presents us with a variety of Dharma positions as time beings. with each one of them entertaining infinite possibilities and infinite variables.

[38:24]

The miracle is that we are here at all. I've thought of that a few times. This is not possible. I think the odds of existing are close to zero. How could this be possible? How could all of this come together in order for me to sit here on what I've learned to call a computer, looking at all of you and talking and, you know, And reading and all of this, it's just like, this isn't possible. It really isn't. There is a miraculous quality to all of this, that we are here. But the other miracle is that we're not terribly surprised to be here. Although what we are and where we are is totally beyond our comprehension. I like this example that Shinshu uses of practicing with time being. So she now closes her first chapter by saying what it's like to practice with such an idea, with these notions that I've been talking about. How do you practice with that? It's kind of one thing to read about it and let it pass through your consciousness, but what do you do with it?

[39:28]

How do you bring it to life in your everyday world? So she says that she's walking one day out on the sidewalk and she's next to a bike path and when a biker comes along on the sidewalk. So she's on the sidewalk, there's the bike trail, the biker comes down the sidewalk. And so she simply moves over to the bike path and lets the biker go by her on the sidewalk. And she said what was kind of amazing for her is that her response was instantaneous and appropriate. She wasn't angry. She didn't have an idea of how it was supposed to be different than it was. It was just this time being of a bicycle and a pedestrian sharing and expressing their mutual and fully realized time being as one time being. Just one. They were a unit for just that time. They were one unit, one time being. All of which is kind of fun to say. And it sounds like for Shinshu, it was kind of fun that it happened that way.

[40:33]

Because normally, I know her well. She has opinions. She's a strong woman. And I think that must have been quite an exciting moment for her. It's fine. I just step over to the side. I don't have to yell. I don't have to say anything. What are you doing on the sidewalk, you jerk? And I don't have to do any of that. I can just move to the side and then back again. So I thought maybe some of you might have some examples of things of time being in which you didn't think too much about your response, and you didn't really wish things to be different than they were, but you just kind of accommodated yourself to the situation and came through it with a feeling of kind of a unified feeling, that you weren't separated, you weren't objecting to what was happening. So I don't know if there's anything that comes to mind quickly, but it was something you might think about for yourself. So that's what I have for today, and I see Helene's hand up, so I'm happy to call on you.

[41:36]

Hi. Hi. I've been wondering. I'm going to do this little thing. I don't have my assistant, so I'm going to, what do I do? Three dots. Three dots and add spotlight. Yay. Hi, Helene. Hi, Fu. Hi, everybody. So good to see everyone. Well, a little story came to my mind about, you know, following through and kind of dealing with things as they come up. I was sitting rohatsu with Aiken Roshi in Honolulu. And it was the sixth or seventh night. But we were all in the Zendo. And you could almost feel the pulsing energy of all of us sitting there.

[42:42]

There were probably around 30 or 40 of us. And all of a sudden, the TV went on next door. And all the windows were open, of course, in Honolulu. And it was Howard Cosell calling Monday Night Football. Perfect. We just sat there. You can't expect the world to stop while you're sitting in Zazen. No, you hope it doesn't. Voila. That's a good one. That's a good one. It's a treasured memory. Yeah, yeah. You've triggered one of mine, which is not so treasured, unlike yours. We were sitting Rahatsu at City Center, which is kind of a noisy zendo as well. And at 9 o'clock in the morning each day of the seven days, the tarring machine, there was a big...

[43:50]

they were tarring the roof next door, the machine that was cooking the tar would go on until five o'clock. Oh, wow. And the smell of tar was permeating the air, and the sound of the bubbling tar was filling the sound waves. And, you know, it was an extraordinary machine. It's probably the one I remember more than any. I've ever done. You know, I said that before eight o'clock was just amazing. And after five was just amazing. It was like, you know, little bookends of pure joy. But anyway, thank you for that one. Sashin's stories are really good. You know, nice to see you. Good to see you too. Okay. All right. Okay. Yang, I see you. I'm in spotlight. Hi, Boo. Hi. Hi.

[44:51]

I actually don't have a Sashin story because I never had one. I really want one. We'll get to you. We'll get to you. I was telling my family, I said, one day I'm going away. They were like, you're looking at me. But I do have an example with my little five-year-old. He was playing piano. I was next to him. He was practicing something. I think it's tricky for him. And eventually he got just so mad. He said, I am stupid. I was looking at him. I didn't know. I was just bursting out. I said, I love stupid kids. Then he started to cry. You know, he's like, feel relieved, I think. I just, at that moment, I think that was maybe just spontaneous, kind of out of care. Oh, sweet mommy. That's not like typical. Yeah, but at least he'll have that memory. Yeah.

[45:51]

Yeah. Drop the self-judgment. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's really good. They did a study of kids. It was interesting. You might know of it. Kids get into a mindset about what they can and can't do. And there's a book called Mindset. quite interesting and so they they hadn't intended to find out what they found out they were doing something else but they would bring these children into a room and then give them a puzzle to do they were little kids and so they weren't too hard so the kid would do the puzzle and they feel really good about themselves and then the person would come in and say would you like another puzzle it's a little harder and they oh okay so they try another puzzle but then it would get to that place where they was maybe a little too hard so then they'd ask the kids would you like another one there no no I'm good thanks that's enough most of the kids said no but there were a couple of them that said oh yeah I'd like another one and they were really curious about those kids like why don't they feel like you know and they began to to find out that these little ones had this mindset that they were only supposed to do well and that the idea that they would make mistakes or that they couldn't do well was like a wall

[47:07]

was trapping them inside of getting a's you know or a pluses or whatever so somehow they were curious about these kids who didn't have that you know what how come you don't do that to yourself and they studied them they followed them those kids were extremely successful yeah so they also learned the good news is all kids can learn unlearn that mindset it's really something that the adults have put they put them in that box You know, by grading and all that kind of stuff. So that it was really interesting. And because a lot of us have that mindset, you know, we were trained. So the fact that we can actually undo it, I thought was the best news of all. You know, you can't unlearn that mindset and just keep practicing shooting the arrows into the ocean. Just can't miss. Yeah, I was very touched. I was thinking about that, telling my high school daughter about that. You know, this mindset is really important. I see how sometimes this mindset is basically pulling her, like making her unhappy.

[48:10]

Yeah. She's getting all those good grades, but I don't think she's that happy. So we talk about it once in a while. I try to pull her back, but I'm going to tell her this shooting example. Yeah. Yeah. The joy, the joy of, of the practice, you know? Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I wanted to mention to all the rest of you that Ying and Melissa are going to be taking the precepts here at Green Gulch on the 21st of December. And any of you who are able to come are more than welcome. We'll have the whole Zendo to ourselves, which would be fabulous. I've already got lots of offers of help from folks. And so it would be a wonderful thing. If any of you can come, you're very welcome. It's three o'clock on December 21st. 21st. Thank you. Thank you. Hi, Tim again. Yes, here we are. Deja vu all over again.

[49:11]

I saw the actual Tim today. It was really a little like that, but taller and more, you know. Less highlights. Lively. That was really good to see you today. Likewise. I have a funny retreat story. uh to go with since we seem to have retreat stories uh a long time ago i was on a 10-day retreat in uh switzerland interlaken which is very beautiful part of switzerland and the retreat was being held at a like a large two-story called a pension it's basically like a house that you take rooms but the whole retreat took over this house but it's up in the hills overlooking Interlochen. And then in the summer in Switzerland, the farmers move the cows into the hills to graze in the pastures. And I didn't know it was true, but they actually do put a bell around the cow's neck to keep track of them.

[50:21]

So they have a large leather strap. It's got a big brass bell. The pension during the retreat during the day was surrounded by the sound of cowbells. You know, just randomly, right? And of course, the first several days of the retreat, I was just extremely irritated by those darn cows. Why can't those cows go away? But after several days, it just kind of faded away into really almost like the retreat had like a background music of the cowbells and i actually learned to enjoy the sound of these and it's totally random they're just walking around uh and quite a few of them you know there might be 30 or 40 of them close to the pension uh and that just became part of the ambiance of the uh of the retreat

[51:24]

And I had some remarkable experiences during that retreat. So there you go. That's sweet. Yeah. It's a very... Yeah, the opposite world appears. You know, like, oh, I'm so irritated. It's like, oh, my God, that's music. It was cow music. It was really interesting. Yeah. Kind of funny. Thank you. Thank you, Fu. See you. Yeah. Hi, Breck. Let's get you online here. Spotline. There you are. Hi, Fu. Hi. That place Tim was describing sounds a lot like Felsentor. I don't know if that was the name of the place, but I've had some retreats there. No, I don't remember the name of the pension, but it was this one large two-story house with a basement.

[52:25]

You know, there are many... tens of thousands of these kinds of houses. I stayed at another pension in Sermatt and did a retreat there. That one I do remember the name of. Yeah, I guess the cows may be the same. They don't have cows in Sermatt. At Felsentore, do they have cows there? I don't remember at Felsentore. I was there a couple of times. They had a lot of snow one time. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So, along the lines of can't miss, and also not wishing things were different and wishing things were different, which is a frequent occurrence for me at Sachin, is, you know, the can't miss for me reminds me of just sitting. You know, I go and I sit, and... You know, there's no success or failure, but sometimes it feels like a good sit, whatever that means.

[53:30]

And sometimes it feels like not so good. But, you know, on balance and also with the perspective of hindsight, they're all good sittings. And, yeah, it's just, it's lovely. And I actually found a dusty old copy of Moon and a Dew Drop. On my bookshelf. And so I was able to read the first page of time being. Great. And really enjoyed it. Didn't understand it. Looked at the notes. Tried to understand it. But also just didn't get too hung up on understanding or not. There you go. That would be a mistake. Yeah. That would be missing the target. I mean, that would be hitting the target. just one-sidedness you're right understanding not understanding our time being and yeah thank goodness what what came to mind when you were talking about that is you know this the sort of one and another one and another examples is there was a i think she was a german teacher who came to green gulch years ago

[54:46]

And I remember her Dharma talk on a Sunday talked a lot about the near enemy, which is a term I've heard you use, and the far enemy. And it seemed like that was an example of that sort of juxtaposition of this and that. Yes, near and far. As though there were such a thing. Right. It's just present, your present awareness. that tells you it's far, tells you it's near. But really, it's just you, you know, illuminated by the world. Yeah, and just not you. Yeah, it's just a name for not you. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, Breck. Okay, let's see. I'm getting a little bit better at this. Okay, move spotlight from Brett.

[55:49]

Hey, hi. Hi, everyone. Was it you that was telling us the story about the scientist? who said, if you want to make an apple pie, the first thing you need is a universe. That's it. That's it. Carl Sagan. I don't know why. I started thinking about that with the woman going over to the bike path, and we could isolate that and analyze. But then if you expand it out, it's like, for that to happen, you need a universe. Exactly. Where we could just go out a little bit and say, she moved. but then the person behind her had to do something. In other words, the combinations are innumerable to bring, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, yeah. That's the fascicle. It's the kind of thing Dogen's playing with.

[56:59]

Just that, right? It's like kind of mind-blowing. Mind-blowing. I don't know how much the human mind can actually perceive in any given moment, apart from what's happening immediately. I mean, can you boom, open up and somehow you see the whole thing happening in this? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe we are right now. Maybe the whole thing is within the boundaries of our ability to perceive. That there's no other universe than the one that I'm aware of. Where would it be? Where would it be? How could it be outside of my awareness? So it's just kind of speculating a little bit about that. It's more like the thrill that you got in hearing Carl Sagan Talk about the apple pie, you need a universe. I think it's that way that we stimulate our imagination to not stop at some limited sense of how far can the mind reach.

[58:07]

I don't think there's any way to measure it. It's just, it is beyond measure, inconceivable, all those words. And we keep trying to get a hold of, that's the thing, we have this grabber that keeps trying to get a hold of things, conceptual. conceive of, give birth to, you know, things. Things. Yeah. So this is kind of... Okay. No thinking. No thinking. No thinking. Think not thinking. That's Dogen. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. Which includes both thinking and not thinking. So he just keeps whatever thing you've got there, he just goes, how about the no thing that goes with the thing? You know? Put those together and you've got the whole, you've got the big, the universe, the reality. So we're just, you know, we're just like, they use the description of little worms crawling through the wood, making patterns as they eat their way through the wood, you know?

[59:15]

That's us, we're just making little patterns in the wood. Thanks. Sure. I think. Yeah, right. I don't think, no, don't think. Not think. Not think. Not think. Let's see who we've got here. Georgina. Hello. Hello. I think I just wanted, oh, just one week. I did a week intensive of Buddhist philosophy. You did? At the university. Oh, nice. Well, I didn't think it was so nice at the end. Oh, dear. I swear, Buddha had a very big stick beside myself.

[60:19]

I thought, you know, pages and pages. You know, you're breaking up. I would love to hear what you're saying. So I listened to your talk, and you read the Uji poem, and I just about wept. Like, it was so, so beautiful. Yeah, anyway. So thank you. Good, good. That's the idea. We want to be moved to tears by this beautiful teaching. Thank you, Georgina. And now we have our time being person. Been waiting for you. Oops. I knew I had to show up. Of course. So this, I'm not sure this is a time being.

[61:22]

I'm still, I'm reading. My book stack is growing. And of course, you know what that means. I mean, that's just deeper into the hole. I'll try and find my way out. This is, when you were talking about the phrase, just this is it, it was striking me. It was a contract, you know, there were opposites. And then there was something beyond opposite. And so the opposites were just this is it. You can see it as being very limiting in some ways. It can be, you know, just this is it. And I won't even be negative. You know, it's a very focused it. But then that focused it can really open out. And that becomes, those are opposites. Oops. Okay, I'm getting weirdness on my computer. But then sometimes when I have this sense of just this is it, it isn't small or large.

[62:31]

It's... There's no dimension. Yeah. Yeah, there's really... The category small-large is gone, drops away. Yeah. Okay. That's where we're headed here. Dropping categories. That's the final stage of the five ranks. It's the final stage of the ten oxygen pictures where you've integrated the G and the Re, the ultimate and the particular, our best friends. They're not fighting anymore. They're not trying to take the center stage from one another. Are they even there? That's not even a, you know, who cares? Yeah, it's gone. Yeah. Yeah. Jellyfish. Okay. Jellyfish. Yeah. It's a fun one. The image of, you know, the five and the 10 oxygen pictures, the last picture is this...

[63:35]

goofy old monk just laughing and playing with the kids and is not having any kind of philosophical concerns any longer you know that's for us to be doing to working our way through the things that we wait a minute I have a question about that you know oh yeah yeah I I I'm I'm inclined to really question If I hear something that doesn't quite, you know, I go question that. And I feel that's one of the great joys of practicing with other people is, you know, my teacher is really fun to question. I'm trying to get around him. I've been trying for 40 years. He's a little better wrestler than I am. So I'm like, damn, try it again, try it again. But it's great joy. There's great joy in that because we both are really, in love with the same mistress, you know, this mistress of time being. Thank you.

[64:40]

Thank you. Okay, Dean. Let's see. Bring you in, Dean. Hang on one note. This shouldn't be painful. Probably won't feel a thing. There you are. I haven't ever looked at the speaker view before, so it's kind of weird seeing myself there. I usually just see all the little boxes. So I've really been struggling with understanding the language of this time being. And I think maybe I have a little bit of a clue, or I might just end up feeling just massively embarrassed, which is okay. That's a skill. That is the way. Okay, so while you were talking, of course I'm writing things down, and one of the things I wrote was we are making and being made in all of these moments.

[65:45]

And we can't exist separately from the moments, and the moments can't exist separately from us. And then we bring our life and our life brings us to these moments. And then after that, you had said something about where the two extremes meet and what the way I interpreted that is the sort of acceptable versus the not really non-acceptable, less acceptable. But then I thought about what you said that Shinju Roberts said about like walking down the sidewalk, being on, you know, and stepping out of the way for the bicycle. So, so we can be a part, we're part of all these moments and these moments are a part of us. There's no separation. And then as far as, you know, stepping aside, that's sort of where we make the choice about wholly engaging, not wholly H-O-L-Y, but

[66:53]

well, maybe, wholly, completely engaging is that that moment is that that option is there. Do we just completely settle into it and take the step off the sidewalk and have that moment? And if I stay on the sidewalk and... I get clobbered or the bicyclist gets clobbered. That's still a moment. But I kind of got it that, oh, yeah, one of those moments might be a better, might be a good choice. Could be a good choice. You're not sure? Maybe he went off and got hit by a car. We don't know what happened there. But basically right then, that time being, could have been for the benefit of others. mean that's kind of our standard right that's our flag we're here for the benefit of others so how do we do that we don't know how to do it but that's what we're doing that's why we're shooting the arrow for the benefit of others for the benefit of others you know trying to find that target somehow without having some confidence or assurance or you know you who ray i did it you know it's not trying to accomplish anything

[68:17]

Like that T-shirt we made for Green Gulch, working hard, accomplishing nothing. You know, it's just like meeting the moment with the best effort you have. And, you know, and there is this addition of kind of like a wish to benefit others, to be kind, to be generous, and so on. The paramitas, those are training too. So those are our training wheels. Being kind and ethical and concentrated and patient. Those are antidotes to our normal way. Get out of the road, you little punk. That's kind of how we're wired. But how interesting when we don't do that. What a different world opens up. That kind of opposite world. And I think we're trying to get that world opened up as fast as we can. We need to. We need it. Right. So with time being, does it really have a whole lot to do with time?

[69:19]

Or it doesn't really have a whole lot to do with time in the way we think about time or the way I think about that. It has to do with being and being in that time. Yeah, that they're not two different things. Right, right. Okay. This is time. Right now, this is time being. We're being time. We are time being. There's no other time other than the time being, the time of being. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only time we have. And I can look at my watch and go, well, actually, you know what, it's 620 or something. Okay, well, that that throws me for a loop. I don't know quite what to do with that information often, you know, and it's, what is it? It's November 26. This throws me, you know, it's almost Christmas. Oh, my God, you know, so all of these things that we've been conditioned to limit ourselves by the calendar and the watch and so on. uh you know they're kind of okay it's okay but we don't have to obey we don't have to be uh on time you know that's a that's kind of a different it's kind of oppressive to think like that you can be on time without being on time you're late you know i remember somebody saying that the

[70:39]

I'm reading something in this book called Salt, which is great. Salt, wonderful book. Anyway, about salt, which was the gold standard for what oil is now. Salt was hundreds of years ago for preserving food. You need salt. If you're going to have an army, you have to have salt. So they were saying that the Mongolians or the Tibetans who had these salt mines would show up with their yaks covered. big bags of salt, and they would say, well, we'll be there around lunchtime. But they wouldn't say what day. So that's kind of like, okay, we're going to be there around lunchtime. And I thought, that's great. Don't wait up for me. But I'll be there. I'm on my way. Right. Sometimes language is just so baffling. Yeah. Thank you. Good. I don't think you should be embarrassed. That was quite good.

[71:40]

Thank you. But who am I? Right. What was it that Golda Mayer said? She said, don't be so humble. You're not so great. Yeah. Right. Don't worry about it. Yeah. That's good. Thank you. Good reminder. Bye. Alicia. Hello. Hi. Hi, Fu. Hi, Sangha. Fu, as you're talking, during your talk, I was thinking about, like when you were saying that making mistakes is an opportunity to learn. I was thinking of Groundhog Day, you know, it's the iconic of this film. And when Bill Murray's character, like his bodhicitta mind, I guess, then starts to wake up. And then you just said, like, he was meeting each moment with his best effort. you know, not knowing the outcome that it would ever change anything, but just meeting the moment and just made me think of it.

[72:43]

Yeah. And then the clock changed. Yeah. Finally, you bad boy. Yeah. He learned how to play the piano. I mean, look at all that stuff that he did in that, you know, eternal now that he was trapped in. That's sweet movie. Yeah, it is. And I was thinking he would catch the kid who was falling from the tree each day. Right. Right. Right. And avoid the puddle. Yeah. A hundred times the arrow. Yeah. Yeah. That's very sweet movie. Very unusual. Yeah. That again. Good holiday movie. Yeah, it is. Thanks for reminding us. Yeah, sure. All right. You all wonderful people. um maybe we can just go on let's see time being how do i do this now remove spotlight and then i go to gallery and then we are wonderful okay excuse me yes a question sorry to discuss this but for future reference how would i ask uh where do i go to present a question for the hand

[73:54]

Hold your hand up, Trent. I'm not sure, but a lot of us, when we hold our hands up, a little hand appears. Some of you that happened. There's a place called reactions. Down at the bottom of your computer? Yeah. Yeah, reactions. If you click on that. There you go. You got it? Ah. You can also do things like that. There's reactions. Yes. Ah, ah, ah. Aha. That's it. Thank you. Whose latest discovery, the three dots? Yes, the three dots. We're all going to have a little, what do you call it, a little seminar. The three dots. The three dots, yeah. Brent, did you want to bring something up? I didn't, but I was a feature reference. Okay, great. All right. See you next week. Can I jump in quick?

[74:56]

Tom here. I'm not on camera at the moment, but it fits all right. Sure. Hi, Tom. Hi. You got me thinking of the Groundhog Day movie. Actually, the man in the hallway, I just found out, is the same guy that plays Santa in Home Alone. Those are two great holiday movies, just timeless movies. And the Santa in Home Alone that has a short role is the same guy that, I forget their name, but the same guy, the man in the hallway that Bill Murray sees each day. So it's kind of fascinating. I didn't make the connection until the other day. Thank you. The holidays are coming. Time to look at those great old classics like Galaxy Quest. Anybody seen Galaxy Quest? Fantastic. I know. Tim Allen. Tim Allen. I mean, and the Santa Claus, Tim Allen. I mean, there's some really good stuff. Love Actually. Which one?

[75:58]

Love Actually. Oh, I didn't know that one. I read that one down. Okay. Yeah. Okay, next week we want movie suggestions. I appreciate all of you very much, and it's been good. I appreciate it. I hope you have a good week ahead. You too. Thank you. You too. And just another movie question. Someone said Matrix is a Dharma movie. Is that true? He said like it's actually their delusion, like deluded, but then you take a red pill. It's like, is that true? I didn't. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A friend of mine, when it first came out, a friend of mine said, I'm going to take you to a movie. I don't want you to read anything about it. I'm going to take you to see this movie. So we go to Matrix and that first scene where his mouth gets sealed up. I was like. Oh, my God. Where are we? So, yeah, it's definitely about the illusory nature of the reality. We're sleeping, right? We're in these tubes full of water. We're all asleep. And this matrix is fooling around and using our energy for this nefarious project.

[77:05]

Anyway, yes, it is a Dharma movie. There are a lot of good ones. A lot of good ones. That's neat. That's neat. See you all soon. Thank you. Thank you, Fu. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Bye, everybody. Thank you. Good night. Have a good night. Thank you, everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye-bye.

[77:31]

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