good morning I've been experimenting with an app that will do real-time translations and according to the app yesterday I started off by saying good morning zombies I don't remember saying that. I hope you don't remember either. It is interesting to see, well, you must have said something that fits within conventional language and then see what it pulls out. morning I wanted to continue looking at how Dogen shifted in his writings of the Fulkanza Zenki you know the first version he wrote he was 27 he started studying Buddhism Tendai Buddhism when he was 13 or 14 and had a comprehensive knowledge

[01:35]

read one place where it said he had the equivalent of a PhD in Tendai Buddhism by the time he was 19 then he started to practice with a Rinzai teacher and actually his companion on his trip to China was his teacher who died he met Ru Jing he felt he had clarified the great way he returned to China that to Japan and he wrote Fukunza Zenki then 17 years later he amended it to my mind It's an intriguing thought. After 17 years more of practice, what would you like to change about what you said 17 years ago?

[02:45]

But before I return to that, I want to mention a Colin that I think is in many ways the... the great cons even though it's not in the blue cliff record I think it's are typical of the soda way simply because it's a con it's an exchange probably most of you already know it between nuns and in Joshua nonsense a teacher Joyce was a student translation I was reading this morning says Josh you says what is the way nansen says ordinary mind is the way joshua diligent student that he has said how shall i seek after it nansen replied if you seek after it you'll separate from it joshua's persisted and said how will i know if i don't try

[04:03]

and said, it's not a matter of knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion, not knowing is confusion. But here's the interesting thing to my mind. In his commentary on it, Muman says, nonsense dissolved. when confronted with Joshua's questioning somehow saying okay those are what we might think of as the appropriate response no use going off here and there to seek finding yourself where you are actualizes the fundamental point it's not a matter of knowing or not knowing and yet woman said he dissolved

[05:37]

when confronted with Joshu's questioning. How will I know if I don't try? Isn't each one of us in the process of exploring, of trying? Maybe we're even confining ourselves by trying not to try. I think the second day of Shashin speaks of this predicament, context that comes up for us. Shashin has started

[06:39]

in its rigorous expectations, started to shift something within us. And in the middle of that, our diligence, our dedication is trying to preserve principles of practice. Sometimes I read these two versions of the Phukhansa Zengi and I think the magnificence of the principles and then a few footnotes. Yes. This indeed is the spirit and excellence of practice. as a human being you might want to also consider this yes i returned from china i had dropped off body and mind my teacher the old buddha regime had confirmed it but 17 years later i'd just like to add this

[08:07]

Even the poem I read a long time ago, Anne Hillman's, we look with uncertainty. We look with uncertainty beyond the old choices for clear-cut answers. What's more lovely than a clear-cut answer? Roshi is known for saying the most important word in Buddhism is or maybe Zen I'm not sure which the most important word in Zen is maybe so the way is perfect and all-pervading maybe so what need is there

[09:25]

determined effort and then defined ourselves and I think the second day maybe every day maybe every moment of our lives but the second day of sashimi carry is something of the flavor of this on the second day there's some settling the new normal is starting to take shape but often on the second day it's not the whole story there's a

[10:26]

There's still a process of adjusting. I would say that part of the art of Shashin is that we live into the process of adjusting that Shashin Asa was. It's simply not possible. to know exactly how you should adjust and what you should adjust and purposefully and consciously implement it. And yet, not knowing is just confusion. Nonsense words to Joshua. Knowing is delusion, not knowing is confusion. we pay attention we notice we learn as best we can so I would say to you that kind of mind you know

[11:56]

second factor of awakening in early Buddhism first one awareness second one investigation even investigating which experiences seem notable There's an old Sufi teaching. The teacher gives his student a book of 50 little stories. He says, read these stories. And he comes back and says, well, did you notice you liked some and you disliked others? He said, yeah, I did. He says, OK, forget the ones you like and study the ones you didn't like. Maybe the moments, maybe the experiences that you think, well, that's not important.

[13:11]

No. That moment where I got annoyed at something or that time when I was just spaced out. What's important is that period of zazen or something seemed to click. Maybe so. Investigative mind isn't so certain. It looks with uncertainty or maybe curiosity. curiosity we could have when we think of a seminal teacher in this way and we think, okay, here's what they wrote as they were embarking on being a teacher and here's what they wrote 17 years later.

[14:28]

And as I was saying yesterday, it isn't that Dogen said... okay, I'll discard all that. No, he just added some footnotes. The principle of practice doesn't change. This is a non-dual tradition. We don't start with the certainty of this should happen and this should not happen. And yet, if we just let that set the stage for whatever, man, that just has confusion. To watch

[15:39]

as best you can and as continuously as you can the arisings of your own being. And you can use a whole variety of metrics. What nourishes your energy? What dissipates your energy? is it when there is an active component of directed attention or receptive attention what's the interplay within the workings of the person that you are what are you noticing about your prevalent habits of thought and feeling

[16:45]

and behavior. And now in this period of undoing, what's new about them? If we reflect for a moment and acknowledge that each of us is on a very personal and unique journey. Yes. The principles apply to us all. But within the principles, each of us is working with the body we're working with. Coming into intimate relationship with it.

[17:46]

letting that teach us about how, within this body, what's a skillful approach to create settledness and stability? Eilish, it's better for your posture to sit upright. And if you need to, it's better to sit in a chair. The shape puts a strain on your spine and your hips that's quite different from your weight coming down. But you can sit on a chair if you wish. The principles still apply. But for each of us to discover what's helpful. Further along, Dogen modifies his admonitions on posture.

[19:06]

And he says, in his original text, he says, sit upright. He says, sit upright, but not much effort don't strain chief flows better when there's some ease interesting balance you know be diligent but can you be diligent with some ease each of us to explore that what facilitates ease and what facilitates to be a little bit technical the flow of the chi

[20:12]

And then, as I was mentioning, and I think so poetically presented by Anne Hillman, go beyond the old choices for clear-cut answers to a softer, more permeable aliveness, which is every moment at the brink of death. At every moment, I would say, carries birth and death. When does ease enliven? And when does ease make us sluggish?

[21:28]

when is this when is it skillful to experience what's arising and when are we just indulging it this is investigation And part of it is trusting the person we are. Logically, I would say, we trust the person we are and we stay close to the principles of practice. they seem far apart I would say look more carefully talking about uprightness Dogen says yes it's like we're arranging the bones and the muscles of the body like a stupa

[23:14]

It has an uprightness. It has a balance. And then he says, but don't get into straining. That's not going to help. Seventeen years later, he thought that was worth adding. And then for her own expression of the principles, Anne writes, for something new is being born in us if we but let it. Maybe Joshua would add, but how will I know if I don't try?

[24:18]

How will I know if I don't get in there and make my own kind of mess? You know? Reenact my own tendencies, whether they are to push too hard or to hold back. We stand at a new doorway, awaiting that which comes, daring to be human. I would say, how to let that daring to be human, daring to be the quirky person we are,

[25:22]

all its peculiarities and how to discern with wisdom and compassion the difference between indulging in the character and habits of the self and experiencing them I would say there's different kinds of telltale marks. When we're indulging them, it starts to feel like old news. It's like, yeah, done this one before. Maybe it has some comfort in being old news, but still it can have that flavor to it.

[26:30]

when we're experiencing it in the now in this moment it has a flavor of something new something like beginners mind it's providing an investigation that hasn't happened before Even if we then discover, oh, this is a thread, this is a pattern that runs through my life. So to my mind, the second day offers us this possibility. interesting proposition no I think part of us thinks I'll get back to you when I'm more settled when my body has got over the shock of sitting so much when my mind is complaining less

[27:59]

What if all that is rich in information about how to align with the way? How to align with these principles in a way that creates harmony. Well, that's a preamble. But don't worry. Many years ago, Category Roshi came to San Francisco Zen Center to be the abbot for a year. And he would give extraordinary long talks. But at a certain point you'd think, okay, that was nice, that was good, and you're just about done, right?

[29:11]

But he wasn't. I love Katagiri Roshi dearly, but sometimes during those extraordinarily long talks, I couldn't help but think, enough, enough. Okay, got it? How about we quit now? When he started his talk, he would always quote Dogen, and he always quoted Dogen with a kind of samurai voice. He would say, Dogen Zenji in Fukunza Zenji wrote, the way is perfect and all-pervading. How could it be contingent upon practice and realization?

[30:16]

Every time. It was great. And after about 10 minutes, he would stop and give a little chuckle. As if to say, come on, that was weird. Now here's an interesting piece Dogen snuck in. in relationship to what he said previously. Previously he said, do not think good, do not think bad, do not administer pros and cons, cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. Later he added, then you should let go of all associations and put aside all affairs.

[31:19]

Your body and mind should be one and your movement and stillness should be seamless. You should consider the amount of food and drink, neither too much nor too little. Regulate your sleep, neither insufficient or too much or too more than enough. Think of it as so basic, but also so human. These beautiful lofty principles we try to uphold. Yeah, but don't get too tired. If your back's really killing you, sit in a chair.

[32:23]

him 17 years to learn that maybe how will it how long will it take each of us to learn the lessons we need to learn I've been at this quite a while and I have to tell you sometimes I'm astounded I think it took me this long to learn that Do you know the old adage, lessons will be repeated until learned? Here's what he had to say after he wrote that wonderful piece. Sit upright and correct bodily posture, neither inclining to the left nor to the right, neither leaning forward nor backward. Your hips, your back, your head, your neck,

[33:35]

bones and joints should support each other and make your posture like a stupa but don't push too much or your chi will not be at ease It seems to my reading that probably after teaching, listening to his own body go through the rigors year after year and listening to the comments of the monks, These additional comments sort of made sense.

[34:53]

There are many amazing and wonderful and deeply helpful things we can learn from practice. And sometimes they're disguised or camouflaged in the mundane. You notice there's some unexamined behavior that you have. But it never occurred to you, well, what about that? I remember a long time ago, I noticed that my reward for being such a good Zen student was to have a cup of tea. Which doesn't sound such a terrible thing, right?

[35:57]

But when I noticed it, and I started to, when does that arise? what's it like when it arises what kind of feelings does it bring up and internally it was a big deal I had to have that cup of tea And it was a tender topic. So as you explore, as you investigate, be bold. Ask, really? But also be gentle.

[37:05]

You know? workings of being that was put together some of them be many of them carry and a significance for us and on the surface they might be camouflaged as if well that's nothing wasn't like I was sneaking back to my cabin taken a swig of whiskey. We once had someone who snuck in a bottle of whiskey and would sneak drinks from it during the practice period. So, next time you're thinking what a terrible Zen student you are, Congratulate yourself that you haven't snuck in any whiskey.

[38:10]

And if you have, I suggest you give it to the title. Today. Gently, we explore. The image in Zen is like the peach blossom in the spring breeze. It slowly comes apart. If you're too rough with yourself, too harsh and judgmental, usually you're setting up something else you know can be as simple a mechanism as denial suppression or it can be just some way maybe you internalize it and you're undermining

[39:36]

your trust in your own practice, in your own Buddha nature, your own deep sincerity. So investigate with a light touch. Don't be so sure what's good and bad. This is the heritage of our way. Originally, Dogen wrote, think of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking? Non-thinking. And then as I mentioned yesterday, he wrote later, when thought arises, be aware of it. When you're aware of it, it will disappear.

[40:40]

I think that's a wonderful phrase. explore for yourself I would say dependent upon how it's related to know if it can be an experience in the now it will use itself up if there's still some attachment to it attachment to the reality it creates, it can persist. And then intriguingly, it can be somewhere in the middle. We're seeing it, we're experiencing it, and we're still holding on to it. And the content of the thought might not be

[41:46]

some great profound Buddhist teaching but but as an opportunity to see the nature of thought to see the nature of our thoughts continued and to see what it is rather than suppress or cut off to let it just run itself out letting it be a now experience. This is a valuable teaching for us. So later, Dogen adds that. And then, as I also mentioned yesterday, put aside everything outside continuously. Put aside everything outside continuously. In this investigative phase,

[42:46]

what exactly is going on for that other person or let them take care of that put aside everything outside continuously and and let this subjective experience be what's continuously attended to okay and let me end by doing and Hillman acknowledging the beauty of her hope home. We look with uncertainty beyond the old choices for clear-cut answers to a softer, more permeable aliveness, which is every moment at the brink of death.

[44:05]

For something new is being born in us if we bottle at it. We stand in the doorway awaiting that which comes, daring to be human creatures, vulnerable in the beauty of existence, learning to love. Thank you.

[44:27]

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