This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Before I get too revved up, I want to warn you that tomorrow we're going to have a different seating configuration. Seems to me you want people about here, not there. The Tanto and I will discuss it. So Tassajara at its most alluring. That time of year. The morning's fresh but warm. It lets us hear our own noisiness.

[01:08]

And there's a light in a space that draws the particularities into awareness. And then we get to sit down and do Shashin in the middle of it. Can you hear okay? Is this light enough? I was reflecting on, mostly prompted by the Shusou's influence, and reflecting on what it is to enter into Shishin. In Zhir Yi, manual on meditation he has a long list is a long list of everything as far as I can tell but he has a long list of preparatory steps for entering into shashin and then each step is broken into a list of particulars most of them the steps

[02:41]

you would be aware of renunciation setting something aside letting something go you know that sense that arises for us as we approach the sheen what it is to respond to a request that isn't simply arising out of our own likes and dislikes there's a definite quality of renunciation something has to be let go and then that also that calling forth calling forth intention, vow, consideration that quickens our energy, that directs our effort.

[03:57]

And then a discipline, a mode of conduct that facilitates, supports, and expresses that intention and that way of being. And in some ways we're very fortunate because the whole structure of practice period holds that, expresses that, draws us into that day after day, event after event. Still we know, Shashin asks us to step a little deeper, a little more thoroughly, a little more completely. And then in many traditions, in Asian traditions, there's also a kind of a preparatory cultivation.

[05:11]

Maybe we could say the territory of the six parameters. That cultivating generous being. Cultivating this virtuous conduct that supports awakening. This patience. And then when all these factors, all these preparatory factors have ripened, then we enter. Sometimes it seems to me we do it the other way around. We enter and then we catch up as we go along. we jump in off the deep end and then charge anybody know how to teach me how to swim which in some ways is not simply what arises here but it's part of the spirit of Zen we're always jumping in off the deep end there's no way you can thoroughly prepare

[06:37]

unlimited intimacy that isn't a way, in a way, a shock to the system. And there's part of the Zen heritage that's wonderfully instructive. Don't know. Just sit down And whatever and however it comes into being, bear witness. Is that so? Not as a way of keeping your distance, but just as a way of not getting hooked, not drawing conclusions, not categorizing it as good or bad. Just what arises is what arises. was reading recently a synopsis of the work of Paul Ackman and Seymour Epstein two marvelous pioneers now in the in the mechanics of our emotions you know now there's now there's sufficient ways of measuring that we can have

[08:11]

detailed information about what happens is with emotions. And it struck me because in the Genjo coin, Dogen says 65 a second. 65 a second, yes. And Ackman says thousands of a second, those flickers of emotions. And of course, those flickers of emotion are not hindered by being rational. Why would we limit ourselves to such mundane things? They arise and they flash through. Unless, of course, they're grasped.

[09:13]

And then you can chew on them for as long as you wish. They're associative. This arising moment can associate with something that happened in your life before and conjure up. associated emotional response. They draw in thinking. And in that process of thinking, another variety of emotion. A little bit more considered. I like to think that the flash of emotion what we call in Buddhism Vedana this deep-seated visceral response and then what we normally call emotion this is when it's kind of relate to our thinking mind then it has a different associative quality has more

[10:42]

persistence more significance and then this quality of emotion reaches out and starts to create a story so here we are sitting And this intrigue of our emotional, psychological life pouring forth. Here we are sitting in a body. Each one of us in whatever physical condition we're in and working with that. And similarly with the breath.

[11:47]

Maybe some of us have practiced quite a bit with different breathing processes. And maybe some, they're all quite new and obscure. Is this loud enough, Jim? Would it help to have it louder? Turn it up a little, please. In one of his fascicles, Dogen goes straight in establishing entering into meditation, entering into zazen, entering into awakening, he puts first the bodhisattva vow, practicing for others.

[13:06]

Recently I've been thinking about that, watching my own mind and how often am I practicing for others and how often am I rattling around inside my own issues maybe it's a surprise but the latter seems to come up quite a bit but in one of this fascicle the dog and says This vow, when held, when brought forth, when energized, it softens up, it loosens up all of this. But I also remember reading a lecture by Suzuki Roshi, and he said, you know, you're very selfish.

[14:17]

You're much more selfish than you think. Ninety-something, I forget what he said. Ninety-five percent of your thinking is about yourself. So maybe this bodhisattva vows a wonderful antidote. Or maybe it's an ephemeral proposition. So in some way I say all of what I've just said in the last 10 minutes, not so much to try to be definitive, not to conclude, and this is exactly how each and every one of us should do it, but more to say, this is an amazing undertaking that we're starting. It doesn't matter.

[15:17]

No, I can't remember how many Shishins I've sat, but I've sat quite a few. Still, when I think like this, when I feel like this, it's awesome. To me entering Sashin, a sense of awe of wonder and then the other quality appreciation in this fortuitous circumstance the hint of spring arriving

[16:21]

The wonderful opportunity to be an environment that's so well crafted to support us to do what we're endeavoring to do. To be in the company of others who are dedicated to take up this endeavor. a sense of awe and appreciation. And for that reason, I'm going to read a poem. By who else but Mary Oliver? The poem is not the world.

[17:27]

It's not even the first page of the world. But the poem wants to flower. Why to flower? It knows that much. So this is how we enter Shashin. Not because we've accomplished all these preparatory steps brought them to fruition. And our mind is luminous and boundless. And our bodhisattva vow has a courageous generosity towards all beings. But because something in us, in its own way, wants to flower. How do we listen?

[18:29]

How do we feel? How do we connect? How do we be guided by that? In the midst of all the things that can come up for us, that will come up for us, how can we let that flowering, that extraordinary innate capacity, how can we stay true? It wants to open itself like the door of a small temple so that you might step inside and be cold and refreshed and bless yourself than a part of everything. It wants to open itself like a door of a small temple so that you might step inside and be cool and refreshed and less yourself than part of everything.

[19:33]

What is it to be such a way? Not so much as a sophisticated idea, but as a way that your body can hold as a way that can be engaged in the inhale and the exhale as a way that holds the turbulence the activities of your mind and heart Is that patience? Is that awe? Is that appreciation? Is it diligence? Is it persistence? This marvelous capacity that we have.

[20:45]

This curiosity that can quicken our involvement. It invites us. entices us into relating to what's going on. Maybe this is the bodhisattva vow that goes beyond any notion of being separate other than this being. And in the midst of it, there's an inquiry. What is it to be that way? This is the calling heart of shikantaza. What is it to be just this? Not to set your mind busy thinking.

[21:48]

But to explore the body, the breath. of being, to explore the attentiveness, the steadiness, the resilience, the patience. Each time the mind wanders, notice, experience, return. So be it. Nothing has gone wrong. Nothing needs to be rebuked. This process is far beyond success and failure. And as we jump off the deep end into this kind of water, of course, it's in contrast to the usual

[22:54]

the usual patterns of our thoughts and feelings? Of course it is. So be it. Why should that be a problem? Therefore, tell me, what will engage you? What will open the dark fields of your mind like a lover at first touching? In the glare of your mind, be modest. Be beholden to what is tactile and thrilling. Live with the beetle and the wind. So I would say this is the territory of our vow.

[24:15]

This is how we align. More with all than some purposeful notion of what should and should not happen. blatant or subtle agenda that we're going to fix something. We're going to make the right thing happen and stop the wrong thing from happening. But along with that reckless dedication. Because the counterpoint The enlivening quality to the spaciousness is thorough commitment. Without that thorough commitment, the energy of our practice dissipates.

[25:23]

The mind wanders. It layers associated thoughts and memories on top of associated thoughts and memories. swims in the waters of its own fears and desires. And the water is murky. This discipline of returning. Notice, acknowledge, connect experience. When you find yourself where you are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point.

[26:25]

When we enter into Shashin, so be it. Our initial responsibility is to learn how to be Shashin. Our initial responsibility is to remember, oh yeah, the territory of awareness is like this. Presence feels like this. When the body is settled upright and concentrated, here are the subtle details that are markers of that. Not to separate them out and hold them as ideas that you should impose upon your body, but in being body, to rediscover, to remember, to reform, to rebring into being the particulars that your practice has shown you, revealed to you.

[27:39]

That the busyness of self has sent them into forgetfulness. The diligence of your practice is in your body. It's in your breath. The sincerity and wholeheartedness of your practice is in consciousness. trusting that we are already Buddha, we enter Buddha's way. It is not a process of imposing something upon ourselves. It's opening a door. It's remembering

[28:45]

time we sit, each time we sit down, remembering what it is to a lying body with as much detail as we can muster, with much attention to detail as we can muster. That attention to detail draws awareness more fully in the body. We embody awareness. Each time we start a period, we explore this. Each of us in our own way. Each of us in the territory of the body we are. discovering in that awareness of the body, what's the most appropriate way for me to relate to this body?

[30:07]

What's the skillful way for me to align this body, to help this body find the stability, the steadiness of sitting, to help this body find the upright alignment the vertical balance the helpless body find the spaciousness the openness that the breath can flow in and flow the whole way to the bottom of the body each time we said to rediscover, to remember. And what is this breath that breathes in the whole universe that lets go of everything with the exhale?

[31:24]

And what is this disposition of mind nothing to know, everything to learn. This vow of being. This wonder, this appreciation. To let these notions rattle around in our being and find a heartfelt connection. Maybe the words I use are not the words you use. So be it. Use the words you use. Maybe it's more feeling than thought.

[32:26]

and discovering what works. What is it that draws forth, invites presence? That the kohan of shikantaza starts to become evident. great invitation of liberation. I don't have to waste my time fixing and judging, judging and fixing, resolving old issues, anticipating new problems.

[33:37]

Just to see it as it is. So be it. Then it seems even the Blue Jay is offering support. Even the Blue Jay is demonstrating its practice. The world that arises is not fraught with distraction or disappointment It's just part of what is.

[34:48]

So like this. As we enter. That we create the way of practice that we will steadily, patiently return to. Because as we jump off our deep end, the stuff of our human life will jump up to matches. So be it. each a rising teaching how will we learn compassion without an open-hearted courageous involvement in our own suffering how will we like patience fight

[36:13]

returning, returning, returning without agitation and a wish to control. How will we see clearly the conditioned nature of existence other than watching it play out moment after moment? The poem is not the world. It isn't even the first page of the world. But the poem, it wants to flower. Like a flower. It knows that much. It wants to open itself.

[37:18]

Like a door of a small temple. So that you might step inside and be cooled and refreshed. Unless yourself than part of everything therefore tell me what will engage you what will open the dark fields of your mind like a lover at first touching in the glare of your mind be modest be beholden to what's tactile and thrilling Live with the beetle and the wind. This is the dark bread of poem. This is the dark and nourishing bread of poem. This disposition of corn

[38:26]

it nourishes it nourishes because it will show us how we exacerbate suffering it will show us when we make space allow what arises to arise the exacerbation of suffering is allowed to fall away. It will show us forgiveness. We will forgive ourselves for being ourselves. And in the process

[39:32]

will forgive everyone else. It will instruct. It will inspire. It will draw out of us the nobility of our being. This wondrous, mysterious practice that somehow we've ended up in the middle of. So, please, as we enter, allow this awe

[40:49]

this wonder to be potent. Don't take it for granted that you know how to be Shashin, that you know how to sit in your body or with your breath, your mind. Be willing to learn now who you are, what you are. Let this timeless practice teach you. And let it support you. And then everything supports And you support everything.

[41:50]

And the bodhisattva vow is utterly simple. How could there be any other way of living? Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[42:29]

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