This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Today is kind of an exciting day. at San Francisco Zen Center, more focused in the city, at the city center at Page Street than here at Green Gulch. Yesterday was what's called the stepping down ceremony for the person who'd been the Zen Center abbot centered at the city center. Paul Haller stepped down from the mountain, from the mountainous job of being the abbot of Zen Center.

[01:10]

And today, someone else steps up onto that mountain this afternoon. Christina Lenhair, who I'm sure many of you know, and who lived here and practiced here for... many years. Now she's going to be the co-abbess with Linda Ruth Cutts and Steve Stuckey. It's a big job, so it takes three people to do it. Probably 30, really, but they manage with three. Each does the work of ten. in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, in the 13th section of Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, entitled Right Effort.

[02:27]

Suzuki Roshi says many things, and among them, he says, try not to achieve You already have everything in your own pure quality. If you understand this ultimate fact, there is no fear. There may be some difficulty, of course, he says, but there is no fear. So that's what I'd like to talk about this morning. I'll say it one more time.

[03:34]

It's toward the end of the talk, and it's just part of the talk that he gave. I'm making it special. Try not to achieve anything special. He said, you already have everything in your own pure quality. If you understand this ultimate fact, there is no fear. There may be some difficulty, of course, but there is no fear. So my sense of... of Zen practice, formal practice here in the zendo, sitting and looking at the wall or looking at the floor. And Zen practice, as we take it out to the world, is that it is most importantly about

[04:51]

An important piece of what it's about is to encourage us in the life that we have. To encourage us in the life that we have with the difficulties and problems that your life, that my life, that our life has. This is what I think Shakyamuni Buddha meant, or one way of understanding, interpreting what he meant, when he said, I teach only the word dukkha. I teach only suffering. I teach only suffering and the relief from suffering. The alleviation of suffering. That was what he said, his main... Shakyamuni Buddha said, that's my main goal. That's what I want to talk about.

[05:54]

That's what I want to teach about. Nothing else. Everything else is peripheral. And this tradition has been carried on. So encouraging us in our life, and especially in the life that in the problematic aspects of our life, in what we find difficult, especially there. And that's good because we need something, especially there. If things are going well, you know, we don't need so much help. We're having a good time. But when we're having a difficult time, then we need help. So encouraging us in the life that we have with its problems and difficulties and a common misunderstanding, I think, I feel, I believe, of Zen practice is a different idea.

[07:09]

Some idea of going from here to there. some idea of getting out of the particular difficult life that I have right now and getting some other life, starting being in some other life, having some other life where the problems that I have now, I won't have then. It's a nice idea. It's a good idea. So I say that we don't go from here to there. We go from here to here. And that's the quality of practice, is being right here, down between the bottom of your feet and the center of the earth. And in passing, I would mention that this notion of not going from here to there, the notion of not trying not to achieve anything special, is quite counter-cultural.

[08:42]

You notice that, huh? Our culture is dominated by an ideology of, and this may, you know, have patriarchal history involved in it. But whatever the case may be, our culture tends to emphasize dominance, control, success, achievement, improvement, progress. That's what we're supposed to be doing, right? Making progress. What a mess, huh? Trying to make progress. We're not making too much progress. There is a kind of progress in practice, but it's not the usual kind.

[09:47]

I remember speaking with a professor The work that I do, I do psychotherapy work. That's my day job. And I was speaking with a senior, somebody more senior to me, about how to do that kind of work. And this is somebody I consulted with over many months, over a number of years, actually. And he had a favorite phrase. And he was speaking about progress, psychological progress. And his phrase was, we move forward by getting with where we're at. That's that same quality. We move forward, we make progress, not by going from here to there, but by going from here to here. By really getting with where we're at here.

[10:53]

And I think this is true not just in the world of psychology, but this is true of our wider psychology that our practice addresses. I used to understand things differently. I used to think differently about this kind of thing. I used to think that the main thing to figure out was how to do it right, how to practice right, how to have the right concentration, the right insight, and that if I really made a good effort, the right effort, you know, that's the title of meditation, this chapter that I'm quoting from, Right Effort, that if I made the right effort and did it right and had the right, you know, the right stuff, then, poop, I would get this new life, you know?

[12:07]

Then I would get a really nice new life, much better than the one that I had previously. You know, like laundry detergent, new and improved. A new and improved life, I thought. That sounded pretty good. Karagiri Roshi calls this, he's no longer alive, but at one time he called it vending machine zen. You put in, he said you put in a quarter. Now you have to put in $1.50 probably. You put in the money and then at the bottom, you get the Coca-Cola or whatever it is that you... You know, you put in the effort. You put in the effort here and you get the there. You get this new terrific life that's really snazzy and everybody looks at it and says, wow, that's a snazzy life. There were a couple of problems.

[13:15]

There were a couple of problems with this, though. One was, I'm not very good at it. I'm not very good at this thing of concentration, you know, or insight. What can you do? So I'm not very good at it, and I wasn't very good at it then also. And... So the result of here I was supposed to be doing something and I wasn't doing it very well at all. That was extremely clear to me. So I had the experience of failure. Failure, failure, failure, failure, which was instead of being encouraging, as I was saying, the point of Zen practice is to encourage us in our life. Instead of being encouraged, I was very discouraged. When I was thinking about this and thinking about speaking about this, I remembered being here.

[14:19]

I think it was 1983. Before we came out to live here. We've been living here for 18 or 20 years or so. But this was before that. And. I was here for a sashin, seven days sitting, and I was staying right there. I can see the door of the room that I was staying in across the way. And I was just totally miserable. And I was miserable because sashin is very difficult, especially for some of us, it's very difficult physically. At that time, I was able to sit on a cushion with my legs crossed, But it was very painful and difficult. But much more difficult than that was how discouraged I felt in my practice. Because I couldn't do it right. And I was supposed to do it right in order for things to be better.

[15:24]

So that was a big problem at the time. So this idea that I had about having... We speak about samadhi and prajna, or samadhi and vipassana, concentration and insight. These are two fundamental aspects of... Zen practice, actually the background of Zen practice. And so one problem was, as I was just saying, I was not very good at either of those. But then there's a deeper problem with this kind of idea that I had, which is this kind of idea and...

[16:41]

I'm mentioning it because perhaps you have a similar kind of idea sometimes, that this kind of idea is full of measurement and discrimination and chopping things up. Like, oh, that was good zazen. That was bad zazen. This is, I'm not doing it right. I am doing it right. I'm doing it right about 65% of the time. 22% of the time, you know, it gets measured in that way. At least that's the way it was for me, this kind of idea. Am I communicating? Are you getting my picture here? So the problem with that kind of idea is the measurement because measurement doesn't actually cover the territory. Our life and our mind and our heart are measurable and specific and particular, but also immeasurable, gigantic, unlimited, big.

[17:55]

So our practice has to follow. Our practice can't just be the measurement side of things. Our practice, which addresses this life that we have, has to address the big part of it as well, not just the measurement part. So any project based on measurement, based on discrimination, has got to be going in the wrong direction. So the here-to-there idea is going in the wrong direction. Right away, it's going in the wrong direction. Because it starts with, I'm here, that's there. Then there's a good thing there and I want to get from here to there. How do I do that? That's what we think Zen practice is. It's how you do that. How do you get from here to there? So Joshu, when he was a student, he lived to be 120, they say, and was a great Zen master.

[19:06]

But when he was a student, he said to his teacher, Nansen, this is a very well-known story, dialogue, he said to his teacher, Nansen, what is the way? And Nansen said, everyday mind is the way. Our ordinary, everyday mind, here is the way. Don't go there. Here is the way. He didn't say all of that. All he said was, everyday mind is the way. I'm saying the rest of it. So this is a very important thing. Everyday mind is the way. Let's remember that. And, you know, Norman Fisher, who was an abbot here at Zen Center, he loved that. He loves that. story that koan very much so he named his zen organization everyday zen everyday foundation everyday mind i've forgotten exactly what he named it it's got every day in it though every day does anybody know what he named it everyday zen foundation thank you he named it after this story

[20:22]

Then there's another line. So nonsense says, everyday mind is the way. And then Joshua says, can I approach it directly? Can I approach it directly? It's not exactly the same as measurement, but it's all about measurement. It's all about how do I get from here to there? Can I approach it directly? Am I far away? Am I close? You know? this way, capital W. Can I approach it directly? And Nansen said, if you approach it directly, you're going in the opposite direction. I believe what he said. I don't know Chinese, but I believe what he said in Chinese was, you know, a cart. Here's the cart. And then here are the tills of the cart. This is what the horse, you know, or

[21:26]

Mule gets attached to the tills of the cart. I think what he said was cart tills east, cart tills west. Means if you think you're going that way, you're actually going that way. So now I have a different feeling about practice that isn't that way. That doesn't have that sense to it. My sense now is that our practice is about harmonizing. Harmonizing and taking care of our life. Harmonizing our life. Harmonizing the difficulties. Not getting rid of them.

[22:28]

Not being gripped by them. But harmonizing with them and taking care of them. That this is actually what awakening is. Not some fancy thing. You know, lightning bolts, so on and so forth. Not something like that. But to actually do that. And what it contributes to, what our efforts to harmonize our life contribute to, is not some special state of mind, try not to achieve anything special, not that, but actually it contributes to our character. So that as we practice, we actually develop our character.

[23:37]

There are a lot of characters around Zen Center too, but that's not what I mean. I mean character, you know, character like a character to help people. and beings and things. That's pretty good. That's pretty damn good. To be someone who can help, who's dependable, who has a character such that they help, such that they are generous and patient, kind, kind in their words, kind in their actions, This is what really counts for us when we look around at our relationships, at other people. What counts is someone like that, being someone like that, knowing someone like that.

[24:47]

And that's my sense of where our practice is. really leads, really goes with different flavors. Like yesterday, Paul Haller, after being abbot of Zen Center for nine years, stepped down from the mountain seat. And Paul, my Dharma brother, I can say is a character, an A1 character of a certain kind. One of my favorite stories about Paul, who's very characteristic, is he isn't necessarily a giant communicator in a certain way. So many years ago, I was president of Zen Center, and he was the director at Tassajara. And at that time, the only phone line was this one, literally one phone line, one wire that went through the woods. You'd have to crank it in order to make a phone call.

[25:57]

Now we have higher technology. But at that time, occasionally, as president, I wanted to know what was happening at Tassajara. So I'd call him up. Paul? Yeah. How are things? Okay. That'd be it. I would try to... What do they say, hen's teeth? I try to get more info out of him. Anyway, he was a character, but I'll go try to stay with my main point here. The stories are very tempting. But he's someone who is like that. who can give, who's got something to give, something real and important to give, not some fancy insider concentration.

[27:08]

He actually is very good at those things, too. But giving, helping. And Christina Lenher, who is ascending the mountain seat today, this afternoon, She also is that same way, very different, a very different personality, very different karmic inheritance, different karma, different person, but still very dependable, like a mountain, stable. So that's a possibility. That's a real possibility of getting something worthwhile practicing Zen. That's what our effort actually is directed toward.

[28:10]

So... That's all within. Try not to achieve anything special. Try not to achieve anything special. You already have everything in your own pure quality. You know, these talks of Suzuki Roshis were extemporaneous. I don't know how he prepared for them exactly. But when he spoke, he just talked. So you can see his mind. You can sometimes see it's very enjoyable to see how he says something, and then you see, oh, they probably are thinking this, so then he'll say something else to address that, like that. So try not to achieve anything, is that sentence.

[29:20]

Then the next sentence is, you already have everything. Try not to achieve anything, you already have everything. I think that was just his... You know, mental process going like that. So what does it mean you already have everything in your own pure quality? You know, this is not only foamy. This is not, you know, oh, everybody is perfect. And it's all one and that kind of stuff. I think what he means when he says you already have everything in your own pure quality, he's referring to this unlimited nature that we have.

[30:21]

Limited and unlimited. We're pretty keen, we know a lot about the limited part. About the discriminating part. And our awakening is to wake up to the unlimited part and to wake up to the unlimited part and to wake up to their relationship. The limited part is our karmic life, which is very, very, very exact. Very precise. Due to a number, to an infinite number of causes, they're infinite.

[31:24]

They're an infinite number, but each one is very precise. Due to an infinite number of causes, you're here today. I'm here today. And it's all exactly so. What I mean to say is that, you know, you're here because you drove here maybe. But if you drove here, then you used gasoline. And gasoline comes from petroleum. And petroleum comes from something that happened, you know, 360 million years ago, right? That's where... That's what happened, right? Some dinosaur named Bob, you know, or named, you know, some specific creature, right? Some specific creature or plant died and got squished and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[32:25]

Stick it in the car and here you are, you know? So this is the nature of karma. This is the nature of specificity. This is one side of our life. The number of hairs you have on your head is exactly that number for now. A moment later it may be different. Causes and conditions, an infinite number of causes and conditions that are very specific and very particular come together and You are born. I am born. And at the other end, a number of very, very particular, specific circumstances will come together and I will take my last breath as a human being and you will too.

[33:34]

This is all the nature of this one, the limited, measurable, discriminative, discriminating side of our life. And at the same time, our life is completely unlimited and open and free and not at all confined to that. We can see it, right? Because... Let's see, how do I explain this? Jane Hirshfield is a poet and... a Zen student, a Zen practitioner of many years. And I came across a thing where she said, oh yeah, but Zen is pretty simple. It boils down to everything changes, everything is connected, pay attention. Those three things. So because everything changes and everything is connected, it's infinite.

[34:41]

You know, this dinosaur named Bob, Right? At one time he was a dinosaur, she or he, you know, was a dinosaur named Bob. And now it's gasoline. And now you're here. And 360 million years from now, it'll be different. There won't exactly be Steve Weintraub or Bob the dinosaur or car or whatever. It'll all be different. And it's the same thing, right? Everything changes. Everything is connected. That's the infinite quality of our life that's already there. It's not something we have to figure out or get to. It's actually inherent in our current limited life. So when Suzuki Roshi said, You already have everything in your own pure quality.

[35:46]

That's what he was referring to. This unlimited life in our limited life. Or, you know, for those of you familiar with it, Do in San. Do is oneness or what I'm calling unlimited, universal. San is many, many, many, many, many, many, many. And kai, sando kai, is the cooperation, the way that oneness and manyness harmonize with each other. It's the harmony of the many and the one. The harmony of our universal, infinite, unlimited life and the particular exact life that you have now with the problems that you have now. with the eyebrows that I have now. Exactly that.

[36:48]

The harmony of those. So this is carried, there's a beautiful, I want to talk about this metaphor in which this is expressed that maybe will help carry that feeling from Dogen, from the Genjo Koan. You may have heard it about the full moon in the sky and a drop of water. And we just had a full moon. I was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge and looked out. It was night. I was coming back from the city and I looked out to the east. And it was, you know, one of those knockout full moons. It was just above the horizon. So it's just gigantic, you know. And... that color, whatever that color is. So Dogen says, the metaphor that he's working with is, dewdrop on the grass and the full moon in the sky.

[38:00]

So the full moon in the sky is, represents, symbolizes as a metaphor for this infinite, unlimited life, Do. Or we could also call it original nature, ultimate nature. It's the same ultimate that Suzuki Roshi was referring to when he said a little bit later, if you understand this ultimate fact, that's the ultimate, then the dewdrop on the grass is our karmic life, our conditioned life. our specific, exact, particular life with the problems that we have, including those. And he talks about, Dogen talks about the relationship between the full moon and the drop of water. And I find it very powerful what he has to say. He says, well, first he says, they don't interfere with each other.

[39:04]

The moon, even though it shines on the water, doesn't break the water. The ultimate doesn't mess with our karmic life. It just leaves it alone, even though it's totally in it. Just like the moon shines into the water, it doesn't break the dewdrop in half. And the dewdrop does not impede the moonlight in the sky. It does not stop it, which seems pretty obvious, right? Yeah. But it means that our particular karmic life, there isn't some special karmic life that we need in order to get the moon light. Whatever our karmic life is, it does not impede the moonlight. Oh, and then the other part of it, this is a very important part of it is, is that in the dew drop is the moon, right? Which is true. If you look in the dew drop, you see the moon. That's the way physics works, right? Or whatever it is, optics.

[40:06]

Even if there are 10,000 dew drops on the grass, in every one of those dew drops is the moon and the entire sky. Millions and billions of stars. If we could look carefully enough into the dew drop, we would see that. This is exactly what I'm trying to say. This is our life, which is both completely limited like a dew drop, completely small like a dew drop, and completely big. Like the full moon and the entire sky. Simultaneously. In each other. Interpenetration. Deeply, deeply together. One thing. Just one thing, actually. Looks like two things, but it's just one. So... in each dew drop is the full moon and the entire sky because of that you already have everything in your own pure being that's the same thing even he goes on

[41:46]

One last piece of Dogen here. He goes on to say, even in a puddle an inch wide, even in a little muddy puddle that's just this big, even there, the full moon and the entire sky are there. And now, this is my interpretation, a psychological interpretation, even in a mental state that is like a muddy puddle an inch wide, You know such a mental state? Even in an emotional state like that, even there, even in that life, even in that moment of our life, is an infinite possibility, is a completely open, gigantic life. There already. So then the last thing that Suzuki Roshi says, those last two sentences of these four sentences, try not to achieve anything special.

[43:01]

You already have everything in your own pure quality. If you understand this ultimate fact... If you understand this ultimate fact, there is no fear. There may be some difficulty, of course, but there is no fear. So I think our practice gives us a chance to understand this ultimate fact. This ultimate fact, which is the ultimate, which is our original nature, or our fundamental nature, I would go so far as to say our fundamental goodness, our fundamental wholeness, our practice, which is very simple, extremely simple, of doing nothing, sitting and doing nothing.

[44:10]

When we sit and do nothing, it gives us a chance to appreciate and know and imbue our life with and get a taste of and touch this ultimate fact, this open quality. When we kind of allow all the distractions to not distract us, then we see that actually it's pretty wide open in there or out there, wherever it is. No limitation. We're often caught by the limitation. And our practice gives us a chance to not be caught. We don't reject the limitation because rejecting the limitation is another limitation. So it's not a matter of trying to get rid of something. And the result is, so this is very interesting, there is no fear.

[45:21]

Wow, that sounds like good stuff. There is no fear. So maybe there's no fear. I would say it a little bit differently. I think what he meant, or what I mean by what he meant, is that This is foundational practice. This is a practice that works with the ground. And there is no fear means that the foundation is settled. I was talking with somebody whose work is to... They do concrete work, you know, and they do a lot of foundations. And we were both remarking about how people do not look at a building and say... wow, that's a beautiful concrete foundation. But I was pointing out to him, I was mentioning to him how appreciative I was of his work because without the foundation, you can't have, what's his name, Frank Gehry?

[46:34]

You can't have a Gehry building or you can't have this building or that building or beautiful skyscrapers with glass and steel and all of that stuff. You need a foundation or else... you're in big trouble. So this gives us a chance to work with and experience and know that foundation. And that's what I think Suzuki Roshi meant by no fear. Especially because then he said, there may be difficulty, of course. That's so wonderful. That's called kindly bent to ease us. There may be difficulty, of course. You know, what else is new? You think you can get away without difficulty? Forget about it. There may be difficulty, of course, but there is no fear. There may be difficulty. Of course we will have difficulties, but the foundation is solid, stable, settled in some way.

[47:37]

Even in an earthquake, even if it's shaking, it's stable. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

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