This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. Welcome to Tassajara Zen Heart Temple. My name is Greg Fane. I'm the tanto or head of practice here at Tassahara. It's been my privilege, very humbled, been doing this for the past seven years. This is my eighth summer as tanto. I feel like I'm good for another eight. I like my job.

[01:00]

I do. Let me see. There's a few things I should stay off the bat. Firstly, I would like to thank and acknowledge my teacher, Sojin Mel Weitzman Roshi, the abbot of Berkeley Zen Center. And I'd like to say that my talk is just to encourage you in your practice. This is some turnout. This is kind of the height of guest season. Almost halfway through. Wow! What happened? Zip! Truly. This is about as big as, well, no, not quite. I was going to say it's about as big as the student population can get, but we'll probably shoehorn a few more people in here and there on the 4th of July.

[02:09]

And the 4th, of course, is Interdependence Day. The 4th is also Founders Day and the 50th anniversary of Tassahara. The 50th anniversary of Tassahara Zen Mountain Center. And... 1967 is also the beginning of Berklee Zen Center, my home temple. So Berklee Zen Center is also celebrating their 50th anniversary. I think in September. And furthermore, It's the 50th anniversary of the summer of love.

[03:09]

Even though I was a punk rocker, first generation punk rocker, original San Francisco scene, I think I was always a closet flower child. I don't, I don't usually have a title for a talk before I give it. But tonight's talk has two titles. What I Did on My Summer Vacation or My Summer of Love. So, What I Did on My Summer Vacation... There's a couple here right now, Sarah and Jeff. They said I could say this. They're regulars. They come every summer. And they come to Tassajara on their summer vacation. They use their precious vacation time to come here and just be regular students.

[04:12]

Hi, Sarah. Just doing, you know, work practice. Not guest practice. Work practice. Students, you know, joining the rest of us students on their precious vacation time. And I was talking to them about that. I said, well, in my Dharma talk, I'm going to talk about my summer vacation because, you know, I did something kind of counterintuitive. And Jeff said, would you go and work in an office for a week? I said, no. I went and sat at my home temple, Berklee Zen Center, as many of you know, which, you know, Zen, Zen, Zen, Zen. More Zen. How about more Zen? It was... Oh. I was so happy I did it. Oh. It was such a good idea. It was really... I hadn't actually been back there practicing for a very long time.

[05:23]

I... I restarted practicing at Berklee Zen Center over 20 years ago. I say restarted because I first came to City Center in 1975. OMG. Most of you were not born yet. But then that didn't fit. I stuck around the West Coast, but I didn't stick around Zen Center. I practiced at Zen Center for over a year. I was 19. Then when I came back to practice in the 90s, I was in the East Bay and I made a big connection with Sojan Roshi. So he's been my teacher ever since. There was a woman in the... I mean... I kept pretty good silence.

[06:24]

I told y'all I was going to do that. I turned the phone off. I didn't talk to anybody unnecessarily, you know, even though they can get kind of chatty at Berkeley Zen Center and their sashines. But I was keeping pretty good silence. The end of the sashine, this woman who'd been also, you don't have to sit the whole five days. I did. And about 25 people sat the whole five days. There was about 40 people at the end of the sashine. This woman who sat the whole five days, she said, who are you? I've been coming here for 15 years. I said, yeah, that's about right. Actually, I go to Berkeley to pick up mail to go out to lunch, but I haven't practiced there since. Well, this is not the first time I've done this thing. Linda and I, actually my wife Linda Galleon and I, back in the early aughts when we were at Tassajara, We did this a couple of times with our summer vacation before, but it's the first time in a long time, and it was really beautiful.

[07:28]

The first thing, I got there Tuesday night, and it started at 5 a.m. Wednesday morning. I went to put my bowls, my Zen monks eating bowls, oryoki, I went to put them at my place in the zendo, And if you've never seen the Berkeley Zendo, I recommend it. You really should. People always remark, oh, so cute. Such a lovely Zendo, right? Am I right? Yeah. It's a sweet, sweet place. Found my seat, put my bowls down, and there's a job card on my seat. It says kitchen. It says Wednesday morning. Report to Kitchen and Work Clause. I thought, oh, okay. Yeah, I brought my robes and I didn't even get into them right away. First thing, Wednesday morning, I was doing kitchen practice. I was prepping and cutting up the fruits and vegetables for that day's meals.

[08:37]

My boss was Jerry Oliva, Reverend Jerry, who was preparing for Dharma Transmission with Mel this year. She was kind. She kept me working until it was time for breakfast. And then breakfast time, I finally put on my robes. So, okay, we're going to do kitchen service. I put on my robes, we did kitchen service, and then, okay, we'll all go to the zendo and sit down and eat, eat oryoki style. So that was actually my first time in the zendo. I sat down, you know, we're like this, facing out, this... This piece of wood here is called the meal board. In Japanese, jo-en. Like a pure border or pure space. That's why we said we don't sit on it or put our feet on it because it's the dining room table. So I put my bowls out there.

[09:38]

Or actually before I put my bowls out, the serving crew came out with the meal board towels to wipe the meal boards. And as they're walking out with the meal board towels to wipe the meal boards, the tears start gushing out of my face. I got very emotional about meal board towels. I was very emotional about being in my home temple after all those years. Yeah, it kind of blindsided me. Yeah, I was crying for a couple minutes. And I finally, you know, settled down and had my breakfast. It was really sweet. I stayed with the Sanaki family. Alan Sanaki is the vice abbot of Berkeley Zen Center.

[10:40]

And they have been living there in that same space. for longer than I've been going to Berkley Zen Center. Their son and daughter are in their mid-20s, and I can remember being in a work circle at Berkley Zen Center, and the younger one, Alex, coming out on the steps, looking down on the work circle, stark naked. waving at us, hey! Now he's an actor. He's into all kinds of things. They were both there. It was really delightful. I stayed in Sanaki's attic. I asked him if I could do that in January. Alan said, you're the first one to ask.

[11:46]

slept on this funky black vinyl shiki bouton with my sleeping bag in a corner of their attic. And a five-day sashim was just enough to feel like my whole reality was circumscribed to that little spot. And I think that's really the power of sashim. It's just, let's narrow it down. The word actually means gathering the mind, getting focused. It's powerful. That house is so full of love and musical instruments and Buddhist tchotchkes. Yeah. That was great. Practicing at Berkeley Zen Center.

[12:48]

the forms are just different enough to drive me crazy. No, not drive me crazy. Actually, softening. It was softening. I experienced it as softening. To pay attention and to adjust. Okay, that's not quite the way. Do it this way. What I'm so used to doing at Tassajara, All these years, you know. Doshi, officiating priest in a service. You know, I feel like I could do blindfolded. I was doshi five times during the session. And I was like, I don't know how to be doshi. What do I do now? Where do I stand? Where do I bow? So interesting. Beginner's mind. Beginner's mind.

[13:50]

Yeah, so that was great. Oh, I wanted to say one thing about the form at Berkeley Zen Center that has been a form here and taken up at various times in San Francisco Zen Center. I can remember Blanche Roshi leading practice period here and emphasizing this, and I heard it being practiced at Berkeley Zen Center, and I was reminded, oh yeah, we've done that at Tassajara. I'd like to bring it back. It's a simple enough thing. At the end of my talk, we're going to chant the bodhisattva vows. You say, beings are numberless, I vow to save them. Did you hear what I just did? This is what Blanche always said. Less I, more vow.

[14:51]

And I heard this after Brad's class this afternoon. I was listening. The way we've been chanting it is more, beings are numberless, I vow to save them. You hear the difference? Yeah, so I would like us to take that up, actually. beings are numberless, I vow to save them. It's a different emphasis. Less I, more vow. Thank you. Thank you. The theme of the session, well, actually, a number of different things were talked about, but Sojin commented on the Heart Sutra, and I thought I would like to say a few things about the Heart Sutra, our school song, myself.

[15:53]

Yeah, we chant it every day. We chant it. It is the main sutra that gets chanted in Zen services, a Zen testament of faith. Also during the talks, somebody asked Mel about taking Suzuki Roshi to the human being at the Golden Gate Park in 1967. So he talked about that too. They just, it was a Saturday afternoon. They went by Sokoji, said, come on to this thing. I think you'll like it. His wife said, Mitsu didn't want him to go. But Suzuki Roshi was really curious about his students and trusted them and had seen them turning towards the Dharma.

[16:56]

He said, he thought, yeah, let's go check this out. So they put him up on the stage with Gary Snyder and Michael McClure and all these other... hippie luminaries, I can't remember who, I wasn't there. So, about the Heart Sutra, briefly, the Testament of Faith. My favorite part is when we chant, with nothing to attain, a bodhisattva relies on Prajnaparamita and the mind is no hindrance. Without any hindrance, there is no fear. Okay. I know Red Pine came, Bill Porter, he came and he talked about the Heart Sutra, right? While I was sitting Sashim.

[17:57]

I really, really like Red Pine's commentary on the Heart Sutra. I was so happy to get him here. This is the second time he's come to Tassajara. Red Pine really loves Tassajara because he sees how people are practicing here. It excites him. People are really diligently taking up the difficult practice, really devoting themselves to the Dharma. He really resonates with that. I'm really happy to have this association with With Red Pine and... Of course, Linda, my wife, has known him for years. And he gives us books and stuff. And I've never met him. Fun fact. He said, maybe next time. I said, woohoo, good. I hope this is next time. I still haven't met him.

[19:00]

Red Pine's commentary... He says the part that we chant as the mind is no hindrance, he says the Sanskrit is chitta avarana, without walls of the mind. And he says there's three kinds of walls of the mind. There's walls of passion, walls of karma, and walls of knowing. And I'm really... dig that there is this concept of walls of knowing. That's a hindrance. You think knowing, knowing is good. The more you know, the better you are, right? When it becomes a hindrance, when knowing becomes a hindrance, you got this sussed out. I got this figured out. I know what's going on here.

[20:04]

I know what they're like. I know what you're like. I know what that person's like. Oh yeah. Cynicism. That's when knowing becomes a hindrance. When it turns into cynicism. Fear. Without any hindrance, there is no fear. Sojin Roshi says, when you give people a chance to change, when you let go of your old views, you give people a chance to change. When you do not let go, you're participating in the continuation of their faults. This is the walls of knowing. When you let go of your old views, the walls of knowing come down, the wall comes down. What does it take to do that?

[21:05]

It takes courage. Right? When the walls of the mind come down, you experience connection. This is all about right view. Self and other are not two. But it's not concept. It's experience. Zen is a religion of action. Zen is a body practice. It's about what we do. It's the practices that cultivate right view, that allow you to experience the suchness of all existence. As I was talking about in my last class, we view it as emptiness. The Heart Sutra says, empty, empty, empty. All dharmas are marked by emptiness. No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no this, no that, no other thing. view it as emptiness, experience it as suchness, experience it as connection.

[22:11]

We experience connection when the walls come down. When I gave a talk at the Basilica in Carmel, one of the oldest buildings on the West Coast, quite beautiful, just a regular parish area, church ladies actually really lovely giving a talk there in interfaith dialogue. And I tried to talk about, I didn't use the word suchness, but I tried to talk about this felt sensation of connection that we can experience. It's available to us and is there all the time. And I said, if you want to call that God's love, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. Stepping into the presence of God's love. It is all about love. This is my summer of love.

[23:14]

So after the sashim, I had another day And I went to see Wonder Woman. Now, that maybe was a strange thing to do after a five-day sashim, but I really wanted to see it. And I don't know how appropriate it is for me to be talking about a movie at Tazahara when it's not exactly available For most of us to just say, oh, yeah, Tanta-san said that it's a good movie. I think I'll just go see it. No, maybe not. But I talked this over extensively with my GCo Stacy, and she encouraged me to go for it. I was touched by this movie, actually. It was massively entertaining, okay. Okay. And I was touched by it because it's a superhero movie with a message of love.

[24:32]

Actually, the message is love. That love will win. Love is the answer. I'm not planning to get another tattoo. I don't think Linda Galleon would be very happy about that. But if I did... If I got another one over on this shoulder, it would probably say, amor vincit amnia. That's my motto. Amor vincit amnia. Love conquers all. Love conquers fear. Love conquers paralysis. Love gets us past our stuck place. David Zimmerman, my brother Tonto, the Tonto at City Center, gave an entire talk about Wonder Woman.

[25:35]

It's part of his way-seeking mind talk. When he was a little boy, like 10 years old, he and his older brother played superheroes, and his older brother was always some destructive monster like Godzilla or Godzilla or, I don't know, the Hulk, and he was always Wonder Woman. And he would take his grandmother's jewelry, clip on earrings, put them on, and put a towel over his head so he could have long hair. And he would always be Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. The thing I... So it's bad enough I'm talking about this movie. So I don't want to give away the movie or talk about... I just want to say about it, I really... appreciated that they chose to set it during World War I instead of World War II. I've seen a lot of World War II movies, and it's, you know, who's the bad guys?

[26:37]

It's the Nazis, right? The Nazis are the bad guys. There's no World War II movies where the Nazis are sympathetic. I don't think so. World War I was just confusing mess, you know? And in the movie, it's not like... The Germans are the bad guys and the English and Americans are the good guys by any means. It's just this confusing, stuck mess. And no man's land. That's where she goes. A better image for stuckness and emotional desolation I couldn't imagine. Well done. Instead of walls of the mind, it's trench warfare. Totally stuck. And it was, if you know your history, the front lines, they were stuck for a few years. Just terrible.

[27:40]

What gets us past that? Love. Love, love, love. Ezazen as I've said many times, is a heart-opening pose. I said it this morning, well, sort of, this morning during Zazen, I said, open your eyes, open your hearts. When we practice upright sitting, let your shoulder blades slide down your back, lift up in your sternum, You're open across here. You're open. You're exposed. It's a heart-opening pose. During one of Sojan Roshi's talks, Berkeley Sangha is very intellectual. It's a university town.

[28:42]

There's a lot of smart people in the Berkeley Sangha. Is there a question? No, I want to say something. No, I want to say something about that. Yeah, there's a lot of that goes on. And they were talking about the five skandas, which was interesting. And I wouldn't say that Mel got exasperated. He doesn't usually do that. He didn't get exasperated. But I could tell he was kind of like, guys, you know. So he just turned the conversation. He said... Just lift up in your sternum. Just lift up in your sternum. Look at a toddler. Look how toddlers look when they walk around. One second, people were talking about the five skandhas. He says, you know, you should look at toddlers. How they are when they walk around. So I've been studying Calliope since I got back, since Calliope got back.

[29:44]

She's like that. She totally is. Open. Open. When you sit zazen, Prajnaparamita, the mother of Buddhas, is cradling your heart in her hands, gently lifting it up. That's happening. That's what's happening when you sit. Did you know that? When you sit Sazen, Prajnaparamita, the mother of Buddhas, she is holding your heart in her hands,

[30:48]

and gently, gently lifting it up, lifting it up, helping you, giving you the courage to love. Courage, you know, means of the heart. Courage de la cour, de la corazon. That's where it comes from. That's how you take the first step from unstuckness. From stuckness to unstuckness. You take the first step into no man's land. So if you think that sounds like some hippy, trippy, new agey stuff, you're right. This is the summer of love.

[31:49]

Now that I'm going to San Francisco to be with Linda Gallien five days a month, and she's coming here to Tassajara five days a month, I'm really starting to appreciate practicing at City Center. People always ask me, how's the practice at Tassajara right now? And I say, we're having the best summer ever. It's the best summer ever. And Leslie James says, you always say that. But it's true. The last series of half-day sittings we did, the Kaisando was full every day. Over half the students here thought that was a good idea to do on their personal day, on their precious personal day.

[33:10]

These hard-working students, hot summer guest season, yeah, I think I'm going to spend the morning sittings awesome. That's a good idea. awesome. I have the best job in the world. I get to witness people turning towards the Dharma. That's maybe the main part of my job description. Witness people turning towards the Dharma. Check. Yeah, I get to do that. It's not something necessarily do, just witness. I was reading about the human being, and David Chadwick, who wrote Crooked Cucumber, the biography of Suzuki Roshi, wrote an article about

[34:21]

Well, it included that and was an article about Suzuki Roshi's influence on the beats and hippies. And he had this... David Chadwick was a very devoted, devoted student of Suzuki Roshi, and he can be so eloquent sometimes. This is what Reverend Chadwick had to say about Suzuki Roshi... He'd call himself a friend in the Dharma and say, sometimes I'm the teacher and you're the student, and sometimes you're the teacher and I'm the student. He thought teachers were essential, but that the teaching is there before the teacher and is not what the teacher says, but is the ineffable reality we share in which there is no person or self or being. It's just the suchness of all existence.

[35:30]

The love we share. So thank you all for your practice. I'm so happy to be practicing with all of you. And thank you all for your attention. Good night. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[36:18]

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