This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. How's the audio? No sound. This is a soft voice. Okay. Sure. Wow, this is something. Wow. That's really wonderful. Oh yeah, that's not a lot. Yeah. I'll speak up. Yeah, it's really, it's touching to be back. At Tansahara, my practice home, in fact.

[01:06]

I arrived here in 2015 and was here for a good while. Some other things happened, and I just shoved it two years ago. I don't think I've ever seen this many people in the Zitto before. Thank you so much for coming. Gratitude to Abit Mako for the invitation to speak. Thank you so much. So if I'm counting correctly, I think we have seven sanghas, seven communities here with us. So we have the Tassavaro residents. Our visitors, please forgive my translation. Vietnamese is a tonal language in which I've not been trained. But the opportunity of TMVM, do you now? Please stay with us. Thank you so much. That's three.

[02:13]

Next four. Mountain Source is five. I'm here with Young Urban Zen. Which is six. And then Southern Song is our guests. I think we have a few guests. Seven. Seven communities. Making one community. As I was reflecting on this and our coming together tonight, I remembered that these priest robes, they're made of seven long panels. It's one garment made out of seven long panels. So tonight we're going to be the one down the garment, if you will. If you're willing. So I'd like to say some words to bring our communities together. In terms of making sense out of Dharma practice, which is, I think, something that we've been trying to do this week, say something about Zen, which is challenging, to practice Zen, which is also a bit challenging, and to stay warm-hearted in the midst of it.

[03:30]

Maybe these are connected. But in making sense of anything, sometimes I think of it as we're joining a very long conversation. We're joining a long conversation that has been going on for a very long time, this conversation. We're joining the conversation in the middle of it. There's heated discussion happening. We happen to come on the scene, and then we sit down and we listen for a little while. What's going on here? When we think we're kind of oriented enough, then we might say something. And someone says something back. And we're enjoying the conversation. What a joyful thing. And then with the conversation still going, our time comes to an end. And this long conversation of generations will continue. This is the drama stream.

[04:33]

There's something about entering that dharma stream in which we don't really fully know what's going on, but we're prepared in the sense that we're attentive and we're willing. It's one of the ways for us to be with one another. I wanted to say something of the history of the Vietnamese Sangha that I learned just a teensy bit, but I wanted to share with the wider Sangha so we could get a sense. It's part of what I hope to do is offer you a sense of what our practice is like, offer our sangha for a sense of your place, and maybe we can come together in some joy. So I met the adevs at the city center when I was living in San Francisco. Has anyone ever attended a Dharma talk? Teachings are lovely. Teachings are lovely. But there's something that's communicated in the room just about how the person is. It was this.

[05:38]

It was this sort of vacation. It was very lovely. I was quite touched by the visit. So it's with a warm memory that I think it's kind of... So a little bit of loose parallel between some of the important figures and our traditions. It seems like both had a very strong call to the practice. in response to suffering. And in our tradition, our Japanese founder, Dogen, is said to have ordained quite young after the loss of some family. He searched for the path of Dharma with quite a lot of diligence, put himself on a boat across the sea and sought the way in China before coming back. and having this profound experience of emptiness. And we're practicing here in this echo.

[06:51]

It's like he rang a bell in 20... 30. Or at 12.30. Excuse me. Seems like something similar happened with the founder. So to say something about our practice here at Tassahara. This place where I live, there are these little quail that have just hatched. Are there quail around you? Anyone? Yeah, we've got quail. Something very fabulous about these quail, they always seem like when they're running, when they're running, they always seem like they're falling over, like they've just lost their balance, and they're wiggling their feet, right? But what's fabulous is they never fall.

[07:54]

I haven't seen it. Our founder, Suzuki Roshi, said that our practice is losing our balance in a background of perfection. Think of these quail every time. I don't know about perfect balance. I feel much more like a quail. It's like falling over all the time. Considering this, I'm thinking about what it was like to be a first practice period monk, a Tangarwila monk here. And it kind of feels like you're one of these baby quail following around a big quail really fast all the time and kind of losing your balance. My first work role here, I became a gardener. So I love the love for the grounds. And the director at the time called me into her office to offer me the invitation. She said, would you like to care for the grounds? Would you like to care for it? Would you like to be the gardener for this time?

[08:55]

I said, I'm willing. I feel ready. And I have no idea how to do that. She said, that is not a problem. That is not a problem. And when I was reflecting on this early, early moments in my time here, it occurred to me that ready, willing, and don't know could well characterize our zazen practice. And that's what I'd like to talk about. So I'm ready for anything to arise. Ready for anything to arise. I'm willing for anything to arise. But this is a pretty radical statement to say I'm willing for anything to arise, isn't it? And then don't know is not the don't know of ignorance, but of holding things loose on.

[10:02]

In our zaza and our seated zen and our meditation practice, As Dogen emphasized this so much, so much, so much. In doing it, we trust the body, we entrust ourselves to the body by putting ourselves in a posture of readiness. Abhijiri's four-point posture instruction, some of us heard, or some of the The foundational text by Dogen, Phuken, Zazendi. Spent a lot of time aligning the body. Aligning the body in the posture of readiness. In one that has energy, engagement. I'm here. And our hands are open. We're not crushed. But we're ready.

[11:02]

If I were to ask you to show me a posture of readiness, do you think you could, could you indulge me? What, how about a face, a face of readiness? What's a face of readiness look like? Just a little bit. What about hands of readiness, what does the hands of readiness look like? There we go. Open, this one, all right. All right. See hands together, all right. Point being, we know how to do this. Kind of. We know how to start. And then the questions come. Am I doing this right? Here with a young urban Zenberg from San Francisco. I asked them, what comes to your mind when I say the word presence? Presence. And this comes to me when I asked my teacher, Randa, for the, what's the heart of your dharma?

[12:15]

She said four words, and one of them was presence. And I was delighted when I asked the younger Zen group, and we came up with, it must be 30. 30 words, things you know. What's presence? Peace, attention, senses, joy. warmth, childlike, isn't that fresh? Now, space, stillness, calm, alive, aware, open, slow, time receding, letting go, laughter, acceptance, connection, absence of distress, We know how to be ready. So we put ourselves in a posture of readiness, express readiness with our body, and then willingness.

[13:18]

This is really where the mother meets the road. What says that, isn't it? We put ourselves in a posture of readiness, and then we say, I'm actually going to stay right here. I'm willing to stay right here come what may until the bell rings. Not getting up. In this beautiful way that we heard over the last days, everything is welcome. And what comes that's not welcome, we welcome. Or maybe welcome finds its way in. Maybe if we can't offer it welcome, the Buddha offers welcome, or the Zendo offers welcome, the Tassahara family offers it. This radical practice, we don't add anything to experience, we don't take anything away. I think its simplicity maybe hides its power.

[14:34]

For a Tassajara summer student, what does it mean to be willing? You go to work circle in the morning, or you're a guest student, let's say. Go to work circle in the morning, and it's time to go to the work leader for your assignment for the day. What is my work going to be? And there's that moment. You're standing in the line face-to-face with the work leader, and they haven't told you what it is yet. You're ready. What's going on in here? What's going on in the heart and mind? Am I Holy, will it? I've definitely done the, like, clenched my teeth, turned my head, like, oh, I don't know what the sign is going to be today. Oh, I really hope it's not. I think this is also one of the places that our practice also stretches beyond the monastery. in the place where I'm now, where the emails come, the requests come, and the this and the that, how, if I can even quantify it or say it this way, how much of my heart is willing?

[15:59]

Or how many moments, maybe this feels better, how many moments am I presenting willingness? Or am I offering willingness? How often is that available? And how much of it is like, friction, friction, friction, press, don't want this to happen? But in Zazen, in Zazen training over and over and over, just let it open and ready. Whatever arises, someone said to me today, the practice of wanting whatever comes, wanting whatever arises, that's profound. ready, willing, and attentive. And this aspect of the practice goes pretty deep. This is from a teacher in our lineage, Taigen, Dan Layton.

[17:03]

He says, the more you settle into this practice, the subtler the suffering is. We develop the craft for attending to. with some sustainable way of regularly practicing, without trying to arrange or fix or manipulate it. We start to become more deeply familiar with our own physical and mental habits. Through many bells? But the habits come visit you when you're in Zazan? He goes on. Reality never happens according to our expectations. Reality is not our little weaker idea. And yet we can take responsibility for our efforts. And here comes the penniless. When we show up and befriend ourselves, we start to see more subtle in the ways we try to grab onto or get rid of things. But we have to forgive ourselves for being human beings. We have to forgive ourselves for being human beings.

[18:11]

This is a practice for human beings, not for some super beings. And if I may add, this tenderness in response to the suffering that gets unveiled through the practice. It's necessary, I'm sorry. But the tenderness I think that's part of Suzuki Roshi's contribution to what we do by the founder of this temple. It seems like there's a lot of his material, like the recorded kind of talks and transcripts. There are all these anecdotes of little moments of kindness from Suzuki Roshi that changed someone's life, but that they still remember But what strikes me when I read the transcripts, it's that thing, but it's also how much he laughed.

[19:21]

And what that tells me is that there was that willingness to meet the moment with a levity. This was a person who knew deep suffering, but he had so much joy. And he passed it on. He passed it on through a relationship. I think that's one of the things that he had to offer us and one of the things that all of us have to offer. I mentioned Linda earlier. She was talking about, I think she was working with her at the time, here at Tassajara in the summer, one of these sweltering weeks. I can't even relate. And she said the heat was really getting her grumpy. Just super grumpy. So she was going around with a hot scowl. And I think she said to me she was walking this way.

[20:23]

I'm going to go near those beautiful wisteria is where I imagine it. And someone's coming the other direction, which is the biggest one. Huge smile on their face. And she realized she felt herself enlightened. The burden of the heat and whatever she was dealing with that kind of let go of a bit. She brightened up. They didn't even talk. But something was a little lighter. And that's when she picked up the practice of smiling at people at Tassau. You can make your own choices about what you do when you pass people. Ready or willing, we don't know. As I said before, it's not the don't know of ignorance or ignoring, turning away. We're quite attentive. It's the don't know, it's the not knowing of clarity and wisdom that really knows.

[21:33]

Not going to be fooled by things, maybe. where I thought we could get into this. OK, you have to pay attention for this one. I need your eyes. OK. What's this? Nice. OK. Now, before the name arose, clap. What about that moment of experience before the name came? Nice. Nice. So just this experience. Not knowing doesn't mean not experienced. But what's that moment that's just experienced before the labels even come? Can we stay close to that? And then when the labels do come, can we see those with claps? Here's another one. You don't have to look.

[22:37]

Where is awareness? The room got very quiet. Where is awareness? Can't exactly say it's over there. Is it over here? Is it somewhere behind my eyeballs? I don't know. That's one to look into. Dogan says, we turn the light around to illuminate yourself. Where is awareness? It almost boggles the mind.

[23:40]

You can't quite locate it. So whether it's collapse or it's questions, in Zaza, in Zaza we're letting go of notion after notion. Notion after notion. Notion comes to visit. Oh, I'm ready. I'm willing. Hi, notion. And then I let it go. Notion's gone. Fresh experience. A new clap. Another one. Another notion. Doesn't matter what the notion is. Permanence, impermanence. Here's a big one. The notion myself. The notion of enlightenment. We're not on the cushion, we even let that one go. That is radical. The notion of person suffering. What's there?

[24:41]

What's there when the hand is open? Every time we open a hand, what's there? It's that kind of don't know, ready, willing. I don't know. There's nowhere to land. And then something miraculous happens. There's nowhere to land. And what does that do to the heart? It opens. So then I'm not walking around in the world going, see my friend at Tassajara. Oh, not a person. Not a person. Not a person. But actually, the heart has been opened. We care for each other. But not in a way that says, oh, I know exactly what you are right now. Totally got you down. No.

[25:44]

No. The Zazen pains, we don't close them. Abbot Jiria in the mountain seat ceremony said something. You know, when the Caleb Abbot at Green Girl said something that was really powerful for me. And there's a moment of addressing the Abbot's, the Abbot's that are present. I remember you saying, you truly have no thing or problem. Ready. Ready, well, and you don't know. As Dogen quotes it in Aventura, this inconceivable dharma is abundant in each person.

[26:44]

It is not actualized without practice. And it's not experienced without realization. When you release it, it fills your hands. When I'm sitting, sometimes I imagine my breath filling my hands as I breathe in and out. It helps me stay connected to the belly. I'd like to tell you one more toss-up art story. And then I really like it. Do the questions that we do keynote? Do we do it? Great.

[27:49]

I want to tell you the story. And why I'd like to share this is I think that it shows how such a simple but radical practice changes us over time. This practice of letting go, being present, being ready and awake. This open heart that comes to be. And then we live completely in this world. So back to the garden days. I was the bundling gardener. I met someone here named Diana Winshaw. She had started her Zen practice at Tassahara in 1978. And she had that kind of integrated maturity, I would expect, of someone who has been sincerely practicing for, oh, 40 years or so.

[28:56]

So I remember Whiteburn Hatt. khakis, and she was ready. She was really ready. So we walked around together. She had a way of looking at the stones and the padrones and all the flowers. She was so sensitive to the place. She's a botanist and had been involved in a native plant project with SFCC for a long time. She knew this place so well. that as a gardener, she could see choices that I couldn't. She really knew how to care for them. It was incredible. So I'm with her. I've been hearing that she will arrive. I've been bumbling around in the garden, and I have garden problems, and I know that Diane is coming, and so I have a list, and I'm very path-centered with Diane.

[29:59]

How do you do this? What am I gonna do about the compost? When should I water X, Y, and Z? She was so tender with me, very kind. But not only did she know exactly how to answer all of my tactical questions, but she communicated something else with how she was with me. Just this confidence and her presence and her trust and her willingness to let go. So she helped me with my task list, and then Diane and I, I was very happy to be able to support her to do something she really wanted to do while she was here. As part of this native plant project, she brought in six Santa Lucia furs. It's the most rare, from what I understand, of the conifers in North America. They only grow in the Santa Lucia Mountains.

[31:00]

Tausabara happens to be a good place for them. This is pretty precious, the location. The seeds are also hard to get. They're way up at the top of very, very tall trees, and they're a little finicky. So she brought these six saplings. And not far from where Thich Nhat Hanh and a group of children planted the oak tree here, they planted these six around Tassajara. that this open heart of hers, let's say in 15 years, if the last one of those living trees carries on, that will be one of the first things that people see when they finally make it 14 miles over that bumpy road. And they take that last turn and come to the gate.

[32:03]

Diane's care will be right there. in the form of a Santa Lucia. It's the sort of ready and willing care and engagement that's going to put a sapling in the ground and say, I don't know if you're going to survive, but I'm willing. I think that's incredible. Reminds me of Vinji. Planted trees. So a simple practice. Thank you so much for your care and attention to your body and your breath and your mind. I think it's very auspicious that seven communities come together. We talked to her about

[33:06]

I hope that while you're here, however long you're here, that you have an impression of the warm-heartedness of this place. I hope so. I hope so. Please take very good care of yourselves. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[33:57]

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