This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. now as the jishan myself were processing on the engawa richard was for reasons best known to him movie a few others he was walking across the courtyard with a wax box in his hand and he saw us and he stopped and waited reverently while we entered the zendo

[01:07]

I was struck by the intimacy of our lives. Our little world in this valley is so known to us. But not without its mysteries. Where was he going with the wax box? Some things I guess we'll never know. So Gyoji. So after Dogen gives his version of Bodhidharma's meeting with the emperor, in Bodhidharma's departure and going north, then he proceeds with a whole series of vignettes, images, Fierce, self-sacrificing effort of practice.

[02:19]

So, of course, the next one he talks about is a second ancestor. And he talks about the second ancestor. Through a series of occurrences, predictions, and things, he goes in search of the Indian Brahmin who lives in a cave. He arrives outside the cave and Bodhidharma acts like he's not there. So it starts to snow. And he stands there through the night and the snow gets deeper and deeper until it's up to his waist. And then in his fervor, he's weeping. according to Dougan and his tears are freezing. And then as he sees his frozen tears fall, he weeps even more.

[03:22]

And then it goes through this strange part of the... You have to understand that it's still question whether there ever was Bodhidharma. even more intriguing that such stories come into being with the details they come into being with and then the second ancestor has the idea that he'll cut off his arm and so he does Bodhi Dharma says, fair enough. I think this guy's serious. Admonishes how difficult practice is and then says, okay, you can start. I have a dear friend who's a Rinzai monk, a Rinzai teacher.

[04:35]

And over the years he's taught me many of the great fierce stories of Rinzai, the Rinzai lineage. His teacher, Amori Sogen Roshi, was Kendo champion of Japan for several years. And then he came across Zen. And then he was later known to say that martial arts without Zen was just the practice of beasts, animals. And then he had a successor, Tangan Roshi. And Tangan Roshi, as the story goes, went to Amoris Hogan Roshi. And Tangan Roshi was also a martial arts master. National titles, black belts in several different martial arts.

[05:37]

Karate, he was the national champion. And he went to Amoris Hogan Roshi and he said, trained me for five years, and if I don't perform to your satisfaction, I'll commit sepulchre. And so he trained him for five years, and fortunately, he performed satisfactorily. In fact, went on to become the teacher. The early Celtic monks, Christian monks in Ireland had this very straightforward notion. Jesus became Christ by being crucified.

[06:38]

So he went through transformative suffering. Therefore, suffering is transformative. Or maybe when it's endured in the name of the sacred. And so they would endure self-inflicted sufferings. If you remember that poem I read about St. Kevin, you know, sitting with his arms out, which apparently is fine for about five minutes. But after a couple of hours, it's excruciating. So he did it, what, two or three months. So what's the point?

[07:44]

What am I getting at? And what are those stories getting at? Are they just good stories? Could you imagine the second patriarch went to Bodhidharma and said, can I practice with you? And Bodhidharma said, please do, I'd love the company. LAUGHTER I've been here all alone. I've got nobody to talk to. Would it have the right mixture of intimidation, verve? Would we be suitably frightened by it? We go, uh-oh.

[08:49]

Ravtanga and Roshi went to Morisog and Roshi and said, I'm into martial arts too. It's great, isn't it? He says, yeah, it is. Want to do some with me? Yeah. Let's go to the deljo. I'll have some noodles later. I went to Japan once with Huitzu Roshi, Suzuka Roshi's son. We were going to Sakoji, the Japanese temple in Japan, but for some reason that I can't quite remember right now. But it wasn't that interesting. So he said to me, let's go for noodles. Just like you would say, let's not go to school today, let's go. So we went for noodles.

[10:03]

But maybe at the heart of these fierce stories, There's some teaching about how is the self transformed from selfishness to being a vehicle of the Dharma, an expression of liberation that not only alleviates the suffering, of the person that enters the world and through its being, its being of benefit. What is the alchemy of that? How does a human being, any one of us, with our deep karmic traits,

[11:14]

How do we facilitate, illuminate such a shift? Have we suffered sufficiently? dropping the self, the activity of pure awareness, seeing through the constructs, mere notions. There's nothing to drop. And there's no one to drop it.

[12:18]

What's all the fuss? Have a cup of tea. Or like all those wonderful Greek myths, is there a heroic journey to be undertaken? Even if we're astute enough to say, yeah, well, and we create the great mountains that have to be climbed. We create the demons that have to be slayed and the hardships that have to be endured. Even if you say that, still there they are. Is that it? you create enough trouble for yourself that in the process of working through it, you learn the message.

[13:29]

And how much trouble is enough trouble? Yesterday I took Bodhidharma's story and then I tied it up in the bow of the potential of excellence. What do we want for ourselves? What do we ask of ourselves? Actually, I would phrase it differently. As we... We become intimate with the proposition of practice. What does practice ask of us? Or more particularly, what does practice ask of me?

[14:36]

How can we presume an us? What does practice ask of me? Yes, I will. And is that turning from the persistent demands that life finally get the message and give me what I want to being asked these hands are full this heart is full I'm here to give is that turning the abundance of insight of going beyond

[15:53]

self-clicking is it an elegant act of freedom or is it the product of the fierceness of meeting all your demons so how about this for a notion In our sincerity, we conjure up some expression of excellence. Maybe we stop just short of cutting our arm off and just simply ask, what does practice ask of me? ask it and listen carefully with sincerity and then we're really in trouble because up until then we had all our wonderful defenses maneuvers avoidances distractions plausible reasons for some other course of action

[17:30]

when we put ourselves on the spot like that sort of changes the rules of the game and how nice it would be if just that very act utterly transformed us and all those annoying self-centered habits of thinking, of emoting, of behaving, disappeared and were replaced with some wise and compassionate altruism. But what if it's okay if they're not? What if we don't need to hold our arms out for months on end to suffer?

[18:52]

What if we've already got a ready-made supply? This human life has obliged us with a sufficiency of such a commodity. And that the trouble we've got ourselves into is that the proposition of practice is asking us to, in the endeavor of living this life in a way that deeply makes sense, in a way that deeply expresses something of our being, mysterious as it may be. often we can feel that urge to express this life.

[19:57]

And the karmic accumulations of it become our challenges, become... You know, sometimes in Zen it's said, on this path of excellence, what arises with each step, one continuous mistake. Because it's a human being, you know, that's taking the step. And it's a human being practicing with human beings. You know, I'm deeply grateful and appreciative of Richard stopping. He's very kind of him.

[21:10]

But even Richard's not perfect. Sorry. It's okay. He is? Oh. Well, in some people's eyes, Richard is. So to quote Kategori again, Kategori Roshi. When we're fully present, everything's forgiven. What about when we're not fully present and everything's not quite fully forgiven and we practice anyway? And rather than it being

[22:24]

There's a marvelous call. It says, I'm not asking about Bodhidharma in the cave. I'm asking about the second ancestor standing outside in the snow. I'm not asking about you when you're perfect in the warm glow of practice. I'm asking when you're not so perfect cluster practice is still tugging at you but so are a bunch of other things you're still feeling a little or a lot annoyed by what someone did yesterday are you still looking at some nagging habit you have

[23:27]

you seem to persist in doing, even though some part of you really doesn't like yourself for doing it. What about that person asking, what does practice ask of me? Yes, I will. Yes, I will make one continuous mistake. See, the trick is set your standards really low. Perfection is a tough call to constantly meet.

[24:34]

exquisite as it is, the request of practice. There was a famous Tibetan teacher, and somewhat infamous too, Chogo Trompa, and the great story is he gave his talk, very, very popular he was, to thousands of people And he said, if you haven't started spiritual practice, maybe you shouldn't. Because let me tell you, once you get going, it draws you in. And you get to the point where it makes more sense than anything else. And then you're really attracted. You get to the point where, what does practice ask of me? makes more sense than, you know.

[25:49]

Once I stayed somewhere in someone's room, and it was a young man who had lived there, and he'd written on the wall, on a piece of paper, his five goals. Number one, get a job that pays more than $100,000 in the year. Number two, buy... some kind of mercedes or something there of course such notions can get you into trouble but I think number one ask what does practice ask of me number two do my best to do it well then you're really in trouble that's truly scary business. But the problem is we get to the point where it's like, whoa, what are my other options?

[26:53]

Try not to be aware. Try to be more selfish and self-absorbed. Well, I've already done that one. That didn't work so far. It's like young men's medicine and disease. These two, young men says, medicine and disease. subdue each other not so much that they neutralize each other you know you get you get out the line and acid and then you get salt you know it's it's more that as we meet the request in the context of karmic life

[28:13]

The request illuminates the karmic life. Working with the karmic life teaches us compassion, teaches us wisdom, teaches us patience, teaches us generosity, teaches us diligence. The dharma is born. The lotus rises from the muddy water. Dharma is born in engaging the karma. Medicine and disease. Which one is the medicine, which one is the disease? Can they be separated? In the wind of our school.

[29:25]

The Soto school. Once my Rinzai friend and I were going somewhere. Where were we going? We were flying somewhere. We were at the airport. San Francisco airport. And the plane had been delayed or something. And my friend was getting all wound up. this injustice. And he was given the person behind the desk, this poor lady who worked there, a hard time. And what did I say to him? I said something, you know, like, is this the Buddha way? I don't know. I was just now I was thinking isn't it great to have friends who practice you know like you said that to somebody else and you'd have to give them a five minute explanation of what you were trying to poke at you know and he fiercely said yes meet meet everything with complete commitment

[30:55]

There's Renzi and there's Soto. So the wind of our school is we sit with the diligence and the thorough dedication to holding on to nothing. To being present, you know, this word Thich Nhat Hanh coined, interbeing, you know, that I've shamelessly, you know,

[32:01]

misused we sit in interview that we may see that any way it's reified any way it's constructed as independent and solid and unchanging it's just a notion that's conjured up by mind And yet, as Nagarjuna said, it's all constructs, but the suffering is real. Our own suffering and the suffering of others. So we enter this world, this world of our own being, this world of our collective being. And we ask, what does practice ask of me?

[33:06]

And as we become radically honest about our own limitations, the limitations of others don't come as such a startling surprise. You're not perfect? Wow. That's amazing. And this interplay of medicine and disease, this interplay of vow and human limitation, this interplay of yes, I will, maybe later. Yes, I will, but on my terms. Yes, I will until something comes along that I don't like. mistake.

[34:17]

And not only in the now of this being is everything forgiven, everything's transformed. Even the past, you know, when the past becomes part of now, think like many men I had a hard time with my father there's a saying in Ireland that every mother thinks her son is Jesus Christ and every son thinks his mother is the Blessed Virgin but now what does he think of his dad well that's another story so I had a hard time with my dad and No doubt he had a hard time with me.

[35:27]

And I left and he died. And we never resolved it. And then in my own way, I thought I did. And then once I was doing a hospice training, present hospice. And we were doing the style of ceremonies that we make up. It's quite similar to what we do. You speak to the person as if they were right there. And I was offering this training and I thought, well, I should illustrate. We were in the Buddha Hall at the city centre. And I thought, well, who will I address? And I thought, hmm, oh, my dad. And lo and behold, as I started to address my dad, the whole thing became very real.

[36:29]

And the notion that came into my mind was, oh, we did a painful dance. I hurt him, he hurt me, I hurt him. We danced along. In that moment, It's almost like no one did anything wrong, neither of us. There wasn't anything to forgive. It's like the play of karmic life. The mysterious thing that's inclined to happen between father and sons. and in its own way between mothers and daughters. Yet history changed.

[37:37]

The history of our time together was transformed. We enter the now And in the illumination of awareness, it's not that the pain and suffering turn into sparklers. But all the accumulated stories that are taken as You know, fact. We start to see, oh, yeah, this is the nature of our consciousness. This is the nature of what we do with each other, to each other. We do it to ourselves, we do it to the people close to us, and we do it to them.

[38:53]

Those terrible people who are not like us. Who deserves punishment more than them for being different? And in that now, the bodhisattva vow. That them is not the great enemy, them is simply the extension of being. them is simply inter-being. That in addressing suffering, there's no boundary between us and them, between self and other. we can't fake it you know we can't turn it into a cute idea well of course we can but then it's just a cute idea we can't conceptually endorse it then it's just an idea we wade into the middle of it and get ourselves in trouble

[40:43]

wasn't bad enough what the vow of practice was just dealing with our own stuff how wonderful it would be if the world was as knowable as seeing the procession and just pausing for 30 seconds as it walked into the zendo. If it was simple as just having a little dharma battle with your body when you didn't get on the plane because the flight was changed. some ways it's larger and in another way the practice doesn't change one iota just the same as the thought that came to mind is just a thought a construct so are our collective thoughts

[42:24]

harms we do each other just based on ideas and opinions that occurred in our minds. How to enter such a world. And though this poem doesn't answer all the questions, It's still a lovely poem. I sometimes think that in Northern Ireland, where Shamsini is from, we're in the process of canonizing him, making him a saint. He'll be the first saint that became a saint through poetry, rather than religion. Hold on, she said. I'll just run out and get him. The weather's here so good, he took a chance to do a bit of weeding.

[43:40]

So I saw him, down on his hands and knees, beside the leak rig, touching, inspecting, separating one stalk from another, gently pulling up everything not tapered, frail or leafless, pleased to feel each little weed root break, and rueful too. I find myself listening to the amplified grave ticking of the hall clocks, where a phone lay unattended in a crown of mirror glass and sun-struck pendulums. And I find myself thinking, if it were nowadays, this is how death would summon everyone. Next time he spoke, And I nearly said I loved him. It's not just the heroic journey of entering the world to save it from itself.

[44:55]

It's also, the world's already saved. The world's already non-thinking. It's already shimmering with suchness. It's already calling forth and expanding the Dharma. It's holding its hand out to us saying in this now in this blessed occurrence of your friend out the back waiting his yard everything's forgiven everything's arising afresh nothing's lacking

[46:01]

So maybe it's like this, we enter the world to give and then the world beats us to it. You're here to give, well guess what, you're also here to receive. And giving and receiving and gift ain't to be. will we need to experience it to entertain the notion that it's so thank you thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[47:12]

For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[47:18]

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