So I'll ring the bell so we can sit for a few minutes together. First of all, I'd like to wish all of you who are mothers and those of you who had mothers a very happy Mother's Day.

[05:45]

We just had a lovely lunch together. My daughter is now, as of next week, she's going to be 30 years old. It's impossible to believe that that's actually happened. That little baby is 30 years old. So I'm going to go down to Los Angeles with Grace, her other mom, and celebrate her and being moms. So I hope you all have a chance to feel some good things about the great mothers and how we all got here. So I've been reading and thinking and wondering about Doug and Zenji. And I must say, the image that came to my mind just now while we were sitting, was of kind of getting a little out into the deep end of the water you know like a little offshore and my feet don't exactly feel like they're on the bottom anymore I think that's exactly what Dogen is that's who he is that's what he is in this tradition is kind of disorienting a little unnerving and and some feeling of also that you know you better swim

[07:04]

I mean, it's really something to be learned here, some way of orienting ourselves to move around, and what seems to be a very liquid way of thinking and talking. So I want to go through the Fukansa Zengi, the first part of it, you know, somewhat reviewing a few things about it, and hopefully finish it next week. So we can then look at the Genjo Koan, which is equally disorienting, if not more so. But both of these are, as I've said, are in our liturgy, our chant book that we chant. We just chanted this morning, the first half of the Fukanza Zengi, which goes like this. The way is basically perfect and all-pervading. How could it be contingent upon practice and realization? The Dharma vehicle is free and untrammeled.

[08:06]

What need is there for concentrated effort? Indeed, the whole body is far beyond the world's dust. Who could believe in a means to brush it clean? It is never apart from one, right where one is. So what's the use of going off here and there to practice? So in this introductory paragraph, Dogen uses a lot of somewhat doc phrases from the Zen tradition, including this very famous verse that was written on the fifth ancestor's temple wall by an illiterate monk who would become his Dharma heir, Hui Nong, the sixth Chinese ancestor. And for those of you who were joining this class back then, quite a while ago, when we looked at Hui Nong, the sixth ancestor, it's very interesting how the tradition what had been basically a tradition grounded in the mind-only teachings of the Lankavatara Sutra, which is quite distinct from the Prajnaparamita Sutras, to the Prajnaparamita Sutras, such as the Heart Sutra, as a result of Huynong.

[09:19]

Huynong was enlightened on hearing another Prajnaparamita text, the Diamond Sutra. So there's a lot of connections here, a lot of sparkling connections, lots of diamonds. going on. And so in that story of Huynong, which you can read in the Platform Sutra, if you haven't already, it's not a very big sutra, unlike the Flower Ornament Sutra. So it's actually something you could read fairly easily, fairly quickly, not too many weeks to get through it. Anyway, in the chapter of Huynong's Realization, basically Huynong's story also appears in the text we've been looking at all along, The Transmission of Light, and it's chapter 34. And so, in that story, Hui Nong, who's downstairs pounding rice, if you remember, he's illiterate, and the way he woke up was on hearing a recitation of the Diamond Sutra about a mind of no abode.

[10:21]

And he hears this teaching in the marketplace where he's gone to sell firewood, and he wakes up, he's like, the mind of no abode, you know. And so he goes to the Zen temple and is sent down to the kitchen to work. He's not a monk. He's not ordained. He has no education. So they send him down to pound rice. And while he's down there, he hears that the head monk of the fifth ancestor's temple has offered a competition to all the other monks and offered if they could write the best verse of their understanding, then they would become his heir. his dharma air. So the senior monk, whose name is Sen Chi, is very nervous about writing a verse. He has some doubts about his understanding. But so at midnight, he goes and he writes on the wall. And in fact, they were about to paint some scenes from the Lankavatara Sutra, this mind-only sutra, on that wall.

[11:25]

And they instead used the wall to write these verses. So at midnight, Sen Sri goes down and he writes this. The body is the tree of enlightenment. The mind like a clear mirror stand. Time and again wipe it diligently and don't let it gather dust. So that's a practice instruction from this senior monk. The body is the tree of enlightenment. The mind is like a clear mirror stand. Time and again, wipe it diligently. Don't let those delusions gather on the mirror. And that's the practice. Just keep wiping the delusions off your mind, okay? Sounds okay? And then Huaynon hears about this. He's down with the mortar and pestle grinding the rice, and he hears about this poem, and he goes, that's not quite right. So he asked one of the workmen to take him upstairs so he can read it himself, and then he asked the workmen if he would write his own poem there, and the man laughs at him and he says, how could you possibly understand anything?

[12:37]

He says, just write this for me. So he writes this, this is Hway Nong's poem. Enlightenment is basically not a tree, and a clear mirror is not a stand. Fundamentally, there is not a single thing. Fundamentally, there is not a single thing. Where can dust collect? So this is the wisdom teachings, the perfection of wisdom teachings. Again, most well known to us in the Heart Sutra. No eyes, no ears, no mirror stand, no body, no mind, no ears, no eyes, and so on. Not a single thing. Where can dust collect? If you're making objects with your mind, if you're seeing things as outside of yourself, well then there's something you could wipe away. If nothing's outside of yourself, then there's nothing that can be done about that, except to meet it and to work with it. So at this place, where not a single thing can fundamentally be found, Huyneng has established what is basically the hallmark, literally, of the new Zen tradition in China.

[13:48]

based on these perfection of wisdom teachings, a place where there is not a single thing, a place that is perfect and all-pervading, with no means and no need to brush it clean. So this is what Dogen is using in his first opening paragraph of the Fukunzi Zengi. He's referring back to Huanong's poem, his verse. The way is basically perfect and all-pervading. How could it be contingent upon practice and realization? The Dharma vehicle is free and untrammeled. What need is there for concentrated effort? Indeed, the whole body is far beyond the world's dust. So here's that verse. Where could the dust alight? Who could believe in a means to brush it clean? So in this way, Dogen is connecting himself and his studies. This... This young monk has been studying since he was 12 years old. Even before that, he'd studied Chinese classics with his grandmother and his mother. So he was a very well-educated young man, and he'd thought a lot about these questions.

[14:54]

And so he basically knew very well about the story of Huinong. He knew very well the Platform Sutra. So this is where he's coming from. He's identifying his own lineage with that of Huinong, with that of the... of Prajnaparamita, the wisdom beyond wisdom teachings. So we're beginning to see him threading, he's threading his own practice and his own understanding to a tradition that passes through the Buddha ancestors, particularly the ones who arrived in China, starting with Bodhidharma, then Huynong, and we're going to get to Dongshan as well. and then Ru Jing who's Dogen's teacher. So basically this thread, this lineage, is very important for Dogen and it runs through all of his teachings. You see a lot of references to the ancestors from whom he takes his accreditation. His authorization comes from his identity with these Buddha ancestors and their sayings. A view of the way which Dogen has inherited as part and parcel of his Soto Zen transmission from his Zen teacher is this basically perfect and all-pervading.

[16:07]

So he has this view of the way, that it's perfect and all-pervading. And then he says, next paragraph, if you're reading along, and yet. So even though the way is basically perfect and all-pervading, who could believe it means to brush it clean? And yet. So here's the beginning of Dogen's challenge to us. If there is the slightest discrepancy, the way is as distant as heaven from earth. If the least like or dislike arises, the mind is lost in confusion. Suppose one gains pride of understanding and inflates one's own enlightenment, glimpsing the wisdom that runs through all things, the wisdom that runs through all things, attaining the way, and clarifying the mind raising an aspiration to escalate the very sky even then one is just making the initial partial excursions about the frontiers but is still somewhat deficient in the vital way of total emancipation so he's setting up his case you know he

[17:15]

feels like there's something really wrong with the way Buddhism has been inherited in Japan. And so that's why he went to China. He wanted to go and find the authentic Zen that was, you know, from the Song China. And in China, this is kind of all old news. They've been working with Zen for many centuries already. So they had already kind of worked out their vocabulary and their practices and so on. But for Dogen, this was sort of like... you know, going to the capital, he went to the capital and brought back, you know, the gold. He brought back the gold from the headquarters of Chan in China. So throughout the Fu Kanzha Zengi, the text we're looking at, as well as most of Dogen's teaching, he aligns himself with the Chinese Zen tradition, which is called, as you may remember in Chinese, it's called Chan. So Chan is a Chinese pronunciation of a Sanskrit term jhana, jhana, which means meditation or trance.

[18:19]

The jhanas are very well-known practices in the early Buddhist tradition. And chan is how the Chinese pronounce jhana, and zen is how the Japanese pronounce chan. So basically the root of all of that is meditation. So he's aligning himself with the Chinese, the Chan Buddhist masters. And he, among very few of the Japanese Buddhist teachers, Dogen is one of the very few who's actually gone to China to study firsthand. So he does have a claim for some authenticity that many of the other teachers do not have. A lot of their teaching has come secondhand. So there are many things you can notice about they're kind of coded, a lot of code in Dogen's teachings, and I'm going to try and pull out some of the code as we go through it. So one of the characteristics of Dogen's teaching is his reference, this reference to the ancestors and to their stories, in particular the ancestors of Sotozen.

[19:22]

So the very next line he says, referring there, you know, these are again his credentialing, he's credentialing himself, first by mentioning the Buddha. Need I mention the Buddha? He says. We're now on the Third paragraph. Need I mention the Buddha who was possessed of inborn knowledge? The influence of his six years of upright sitting is noticeable still. Or Bodhidharma's transmission of the mind seal. The fame of his nine years of wall sitting is celebrated to this day. Since this was the case of old, with the saints of old, how can we today dispense with negotiation of the way? So he's, you know, writing these very beginning paragraphs, he's pointing to upright, seated meditation. Sitting, you know, Zazen. Zazen. The hallmark of this school. And then Dogen begins giving us some instruction for how to engage the mind in Zazen.

[20:22]

And then, how to engage the body. Okay. So, section two, so there... As I said last week, the entire essay can be viewed as having these three sections, to which only the middle one actually refer to some kind of concrete instruction on what to do while you're seated in meditation. I mean, some of you may have noticed that you didn't get a lot of instruction about what to do when you come to a Zen meditation place like Green Culture or Zen Center. And I noticed that myself. I didn't really feel like I got told much about what to do, and I remember I did a lot of reading about what to do, and the old texts, meditation manuals from the early years, early practices of the early Buddhists, and on through different traditions, different schools. They offer you lots of things to do. Zen, not so much. So, you know, we've heard, just sit. Shikantaza, just sit. Just hit the Zafu.

[21:24]

So, this is interesting, this is a very important point. Why not? Why aren't we getting a lot of practical instruction? This text, the Phucan Zsengi, is Dogen's meditation manual, instructions for meditation. So, you kind of have to listen carefully to see how much instruction is there. There is some, but it's not terribly detailed. So, the middle section. the one that we're going to get to in a sec, is the one that offers some suggestions or some instruction about meditation itself. So one thing to keep in mind when we're wondering about Zen and why it's so kind of mute on what to do when you're sitting there, is that the Zen tradition agrees that there is no method that can overcome what is not real. There's no method for overcoming what is not real. You have to wake up from your dreams. They're not real. So only awakening from your dreams is real.

[22:27]

So wake up. Dealing with the dreams isn't going to get you there. You're just going to have more dreams like some very fancy dreams or very elaborate dreams or very psychologically sophisticated dreams. But whatever you're doing, whatever you're dreaming about, the whole effort here is to wake up. Notice that you're dreaming. It's not to eliminate the dreams. It's to see what they are. Oh, I'm dreaming. So this is what's called awakening, which is what they say is real. You can't overcome what's not real, delusions. You can only awaken to what is real. And so what we are called to realize through our wholehearted, single-minded effort is, first of all, to recognize and then to relinquish whatever the internal clockwork or mechanisms of the mind are there that bring us to believing in ourselves as separate from the world. Believing in an external world that's separate from an external world.

[23:31]

That's our primary belief. If there were sins in Buddhism, that's the sin. That's the sin of separation, of dualistic seeing, dualistic thinking, dualistic life. life that is living lived as though you're separate from others and separate from the world and therefore behaving in such a way that treats the world as though it's other treating treating one another one another as other and so on so whatever this internal mechanism is that brings us to believe in an external world that's separate from ourselves that's what we're hunting we're looking for the way the mind works in other words we're trying to realize the non-dual nature of reality and Dogen doesn't go far away from that effort to help us to realize that that's his primary his primary mission is to help us realize non-dual nature of reality so the non-dual nature of the buddhas and of the sentient beings which is another interesting thing that Dogen is really good at helping us to to hold on to is not trying to get rid of anything trying to see how these

[24:43]

dynamic duos that we conjure the idea that there are buddhas and their ascension beings is a very dynamic conjuration of ours are non-dual and they actually are what what one of the scholars so i'm really enjoying mr kim they're what he calls do dual foci like two eyeballs two eyes these two focuses one two foci The plural of focus is foci. So these two foci, which are basically, so Buddha, sentient being, or right and wrong, or any two opposites in our minds that we've made from our minds, are basically there as dynamic partnering in order to help each other to understand the actual reality that's being perceived. They're not dual, but they're there, they're useful for the sake of helping us to become free. I mean, that's why we want to focus on both. We don't want to get rid of delusion. We need it. We need enlightenment in order to illuminate our delusions.

[25:46]

And we need the delusions in order to understand what we're doing that's so wacky. So both of these work together. They're very much partnered in the effort to help us to awaken. And Dogen is really the master of that, of keeping these two partners in the room together, working together, and so on. So as I said last week, also because ordinary thinking does not realize that arising and ceasing do not in fact arise and cease. That is, as with all things, they are empty categories, empty of inherent, conceivable, measurable existence. They are re. They are ultimate truth. All things are ultimate truth. It's only the mind that creates these parts and separates them one from the other. It's kind of like a shell game, you know. We're just constantly moving the parts around as if they really are in some other plane of existence and not all of a piece, the one universe or the one all-inclusive reality that is ri.

[26:53]

So we really need to, we can't really rely on our ordinary thinking in order to see reality as it truly is. And Dogen is certainly a master of not ordinary thinking. Whatever thing I think he is doing, it's not ordinary. So don't be surprised if you're going like, what? What is he saying? So for the purpose of truly seeing reality, Dogen's universal recommendation for Zazen, the Fukan Zazengi, is both a practical manual on methods of contemplation, and also it's a declaration of the Soto Zen understanding of Buddhism. you know, and the Soto Zen teaching lineage. They're very specific, very specific names, very specific way in which it's organized and still organized. You know, we're still doing this. I mean, we are still the living layer. We are now, like in a tree, you have the living layer, the ring that's still alive.

[27:55]

That's those of us who are still practicing Zen right now in this world are that growth ring that are basically holding these teachings. And it's, you know, they're very fragile. The living lair could decide not to do it anymore. It's like, no, we don't need that stuff anymore. We can let that all go. That's old stuff, you know, molding away in the libraries of Japan and China and Green Gold. You've got very moldy libraries. It's really us, it's really those of us who find these teachings and this inspiration for our lives to be compelling enough to stay with it and to try to hold it and to try to pass it on. That's what this idea of dharma transmission is all about. The teaching lineage. That one student becomes a teacher and then the teacher takes on a student and so on and so on. It goes that way. When the student is ready, the old saying goes, then the teacher appears, right in the same place.

[28:59]

When a student is ready, a teacher appears. Kind of like magic. So as Dogen says later on in this essay, Phukhan Zazengi, just concentrate your effort single-mindedly. That in itself is negotiating the way. Just concentrate your effort single-mindedly on whatever you're doing, wholeheartedly. Do what you're doing single-mindedly. Be present with what you're doing. Practice realization is naturally undefiled. Going forward in practice is a matter of everydayness. So, you know, I really am very fond of this particular paragraph. It's like kind of everydayness. That's like where you live. That's your house. That's in your home with your friends and your family and driving your car and things that you do every day. That's where the practice realization takes place. As you wholeheartedly engage single-mindedly in your activities of your daily life. That's practice realization and that's negotiating the way.

[30:01]

Very homey, very intimate. One of Dogen's most favorite words is intimacy. So being intimate with everything is basically what he's telling us. That is the awakening that we're trying to find. It's not somewhere else. It's not far off in some other country or some book you haven't read yet or some people that you really admire. It's not there. It's not out there. It has to be where you are. It has to be who you are and how you are in the world. So then how do we concentrate our effort single-mindedly? Maybe you know. Maybe you don't know. Maybe you wonder about that. What is single-minded effort? wholehearted, single-minded effort. I always think I'm not quite there. It's like, well, that wasn't bad, but I don't know. I was a little bit, you know, I don't know. There's a little bit of holding back, maybe, sometimes, that I wonder, you know, what it would feel like to really be fully, like Suzuki Roshi says, like a lantern that's burning completely.

[31:12]

There's no soot. There's no smoke. Just this glow, if the lantern's burning well, you know. That would be wholehearted. So, again, as I shared with you last week, Dogen instructs us in section two, which is these more like concrete suggestions for seated meditation. He says, well, cease pursuing words and following after speech and learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate yourself. Cease pursuing words and following after speech and learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate yourself. Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest. Shinjin Datsu Raku. Remember that from Dogen's enlightenment story, his conversation with Ryu Jing, which I'll recount here in just a moment. Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest.

[32:17]

These are the same declarations about realization through the wholeness of body-mind that both Dogen and Ryu Jing exchanged at the beginning of that chapter we read on Dogen and transmission of light. So I'll just run through it again. Ryu Jing says to his monks who are sitting in meditation, Shinjin Datsuraku, body-mind dropped. Shinjin is body-mind, one word, body-mind. and Datsuraku is dropped, or shed, like a snake sheds its skin. And then Dogen says to his teacher privately, he goes to his room and he says, Shinjin Datsuraku Rai, dropped body-mind has arrived. So he's declaring that this instruction by his teacher, he now is declaring it for himself. The body-mind dropped has arrived. And Rujing says, To him, shinjin datsuraku, datsuraku shinjin.

[33:19]

He reverses the order of these two sentences. Body-mind dropped, dropped body-mind. So there's some meaning in that. And Dogen says to Ru Jing, please don't approve of me arbitrarily. And Ru Jing says, I'm not. And then Dogen says, well, what is it that isn't approved arbitrarily? And Ru Jing says, shinjin datsuraku. body-mind dropped, is not approved arbitrarily. That's the whole point. So Dogen bows. And the bow, this ritual gesture, which I will be saying something about in a minute, is very significant. He doesn't say anything. This is beyond language at this point. He bows. So there's tremendous meaning that's conveyed. For those of you who've practiced bowing, If you've been at Zen Center or on retreat with us, it's an amazing practice that I'm pretty used to now, but I certainly wasn't when I first arrived.

[34:21]

I wasn't used to people bowing to me or with me, as we do. And it took some while before it became a natural form. It's not something that I grew up with or saw happen. So when I began to practice bowing, particularly at Tassahara, when you're there, a lot of the time you're in practice periods, you're not talking to each other. You have the privilege of being quiet, which it really is truly a privilege. This morning I had volunteered to help out in the kitchen for a few days because there's a three-day session going on at Green Gulch for the new students who've just arrived, the farm apprentices and some of the guest students. It's been a really lovely, it's been a lovely three days. And I've had a very nice time back in the kitchen. I used to be the head cook in that kitchen, so I a little bit know my way around, but they've moved stuff. I was looking for, where's the crater? What'd you do with that?

[35:22]

Anyway, it was lovely to be in the kitchen. And... Oh, why was I saying that? Oh, because of bowing. So... You know, at Tassajara, when you're doing the practice periods there, the passing on and the pathways, when you walk by each other, you stop and bow. You stop walking and you bow. And it's kind of an art form in itself. You know, one of the things that you try not to do is bow in a nicer way to the people you like than in the way to the people you don't. Maybe not Sopanda. So, you know, it's really... an internal instruction bow the same to everybody you know everyone receives the same the same bow you know which i found to be such an encouraging way to be learning respect just bow just give each person the respect of the same bow so um this bow dogan is bowing to his teacher there's no talking there

[36:31]

There's no need to say anything. There's a full, wholehearted conveying of respect between the Zen teacher and his disciple. So, then Ru Jing finally says to Dogen, affirming his awakening, Datsuraku, Datsuraku, Datsuraku, Datsuraku. Dropping is dropped. The dropping is dropped. Now drop that too. Keep dropping. Or watch it drop. The present moment is already the past. Just dropping away, dropping away. And then something new appears to arrive. Dropping is dropped. And then... As I also mentioned to you last week, as I had just learned this very shocking thing from our good dear Tonto Kokyo Henkel, that he talked about this essay that Dogen writes later on called The King of Samadhi, Samadhi.

[37:35]

Samadhi is like the state of concentration, like samadhi. It's like considered like... you really kind of arrived when you're in samadhi, you're very calm, things are very quiet, the mind is pretty quiet, things are kind of steady, your body's steady, it's very pleasant, samadhi, samadhi. So the king of samadhi, samadhi, Zazen, in that essay, Dogen says, au contraire, you know, please investigate fully your intellect, with your intellect, by asking yourselves all kinds of questions. while you're engaging in zanthana so it's quite the opposite here again doggone is kind of putting these two things in opposition to one another and and letting them dance you know think not thinking not thinking and then non-thinking and not thinking about non-thinking and so on so you have this movement going on there's a lot of a lot of energy in not being able to reconcile opposites you know you can't reconcile them it's like the two ends of a magnet you can't

[38:38]

Get them together. So you have a lot of energy, a lot of presence there, a lot of awareness going on in that effort. So as I mentioned to you some of the questions, he says you should ask yourself, is the universe vertical or is it horizontal? Have you thought about that one before? What is sitting? Is sitting inside or outside of sitting? Is it thinking? Is it beyond thinking? Is it a somersault? That seems to be a favorite, as one of you said last week. Oh, that's my favorite. Is it a somersault? Is thinking a somersault? I think it may be pretty close. Is it doing something? Is it not doing something? And so on. So here's the inquiry side. So on one side we have the calm abiding, the shamatha, tranquility practice, traditional classic practice, Buddhist practice.

[39:41]

And the other side is insight, which is a little more active. So these questions are insight questions. They're not trying to get answers out of these. We're just poking at the bear, you know. We're just not teasing. That's a bad image. We're just... inviting the beast of reality itself to respond, to come and dance. I like this story about this little girl who dies and she's in the bardo, the in-between state between the next life and the life she's just left and this the Lord of Death, this drooling beast comes up to her, he's kind of scary looking, and she just looks up at him and smiles and she says, would you like to dance? And Yama has to dance with her because that's the law. You know, that's the law. Kindness must be met with kindness. So, the drooling beast dances with the little innocent child.

[40:45]

So, Dogen also says that there should be an investigation of thousands and tens of thousands of points just like these that to sit in the full lotus posture with the body to sit in the full lotus posture with the mind to sit in the full lotus posture being free of the body and the mind which I would say includes being free of the full lotus posture which very few of us including me have sat in for very long I think I made it through one period and I decided it was not going to work it was really not going to work so sit in the full lotus posture with the body sit in the full lotus posture with the mind and sit in the full lotus posture being free of the body and the mind so this shift from not thinking to thinking may sound kind of contradictory but as I think we may already be seeing that's Dogen's specialty You know, as he himself said, using these concepts for the purpose of doing somersaults.

[41:54]

Not thinking is akin to this classical meditation method I just mentioned of tranquility, of shamatha, and thinking is akin to the classical Buddhist meditation method called vipassana, insight, insight practice. And then Dogen says, zazen is not that. Zazen is not that somersault. So pivoting back and forth or up and down or side to side is liberation from any set position or perspective. Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Non-thinking. The essential art of Zazen is not getting stuck anywhere. So Dogen then begins giving some very practical instructions for negotiating the way in Zazen for both the body and the mind, Xin Jin. body mind shinjin this is the next paragraph for sanzen zazen a quiet room is suitable eat and drink moderately cast aside all involvements and cease all affairs do not think good or bad do not administer pros and cons cease all the movements of the conscious mind the gauging of all thought and views have no designs on becoming a buddha

[43:17]

Sanzen has nothing whatever to do with sitting or lying down. Well, there's another kicker right there, right? So here we are. I finally got in my seat. I'm there in the zendo. I'm sitting. I'm watching my posture. I'm working on not administering pros and cons or thinking of good or bad, and so on and so forth. I have no designs on becoming a Buddha. Well, at least I'm willing to say that. I don't know if it's true, but no designs on becoming a Buddha. And then he says... Zazen, the one you're just doing right now with your whole heart, your great effort, has nothing whatever to do with sitting or lying down. Hmm. Okay, so there it is again, you know. Where is it then? What is it? When is it happening? Okay. It's okay to do it while you're sitting. That's fine. Zazen is fine. But don't think that's it. I know sometimes people will say to me, I haven't been practicing for a really long time, like, you know, maybe years in some cases. And I said, what do you mean by that? I said, well, I haven't been to the Zendo. I said, well, that's fine.

[44:20]

That's just a room. That's just a room with a name. Have you really not been practicing? And, you know, little by little they begin to admit, yes, they have been practicing. They've been practicing very diligently with their lives and with their work and with their families and with their wanting to be good people and all of that. You know, I think it's really kind of sad when we think that being in the zendo is what's meant by practicing. Or even sitting upright on a zafu is what's meant by practicing. Zazen has nothing whatever to do with sitting or lying down. How could it? That would be stuck. Then he goes on a little bit more with some practical things. At the sight of your regular sitting, spread out thick matting and place the cushion above it. Sit either in the full lotus or half lotus position, or I will add, or if you need, in a chair, which I'm sitting in right now. I love this question someone asked Suzuki Roshi in one of his shorter little volumes.

[45:22]

I think it's not always so, maybe. Someone said, Suzuki Roshi, what's the difference between sitting in a chair and sitting on a zafu? And Suzuki Roshi said, your legs. So in the full lotus position, you first place your right foot on your left thigh and your left foot on your right thigh. In the half lotus, you simply press your left foot against your right thigh. You should have your robes and your belt loosely bound and arranged in order. And then place your right hand on your left leg and your left palm facing upward on your right palm, thumb tips touching. Thus. That's probably the key to this whole thing is thus. Just this. Thus. Sit upright in correct bodily posture, neither inclining to the left nor to the right, neither leaning forward nor backward. Be sure your ears are on a plane with your shoulders.

[46:24]

and your nose is in line with your navel. So that's the vertical and horizontal planes of the body. Place your tongue against the front roof of your mouth with teeth and lips both shut. Your eyes should always remain open and you should breathe gently through your nose. That's an interesting point right there about the eyes. People often ask that. I think other traditions, maybe yoga traditions or other forms of Buddhist practice, suggest closing the eyes. And I remember being surprised that your eyes are open. I thought I was going to meditate. I should have my eyes closed. And I said, no, keep your eyes open. And then I read somewhere that closing the eyes, one teacher said, is entering the cave of the demons. thought that was kind of fun because it's true you know when you close your eyes your dreams are much more available you can get really out there you know with your eyes closed there's all kinds of adventures can be had without the kind of discipline of being in the room looking at the floor or looking at the wall you know which is really uh like it's like having a kind of a

[47:35]

a leash or a choker somehow you're just being you know kind of required to be where you are to be aware of the fact that you are actually in this room right now with these people so you keep your eyes always open and breathe gently through your nose once you've adjusted your posture take a deep breath inhale and exhale Rock your body right and left and settle into a steady, immovable sitting position. So I think probably all of you have done that or tried that or do that now and then. It's a very lovely thing to do, to settle. Settling is really nice. Waiting to settle is not so pleasant. The time before you're settled is like, oh, you know, really, I don't know, maybe it's softly early. Just all kinds of little itches and scratches and twitches that want to happen at the very beginning of a period of zazen, which I, you know, have learned to just kind of, not ignore exactly, but I expect it.

[48:41]

I expect that I'm going to be a little restless until something begins to settle. You know, I can't do it. I can't make myself settle. But if I just sit there and I don't indulge in the impulses which are arising in my feelings of, well, maybe I'm not, maybe this is, maybe Tuesday's not a good day to sit or whatever. And little by little, I just start to, I like the image of the waves, the ocean, the waves above the water line. And then as you begin to sink below, the water level into the deeper water is it just quieter it's just quieter so much less is happening at some point you might even find yourself sitting on the bottom of the ocean you know which is kind of nice but you don't stay there you don't stay anywhere it's just all part of a process of really learning learning who we are and how it works you know the whole works how does the whole work Then he says, think of not thinking, this famous two sentences, how do you think of not thinking?

[49:47]

Non-thinking, this in itself is the essential art of zazen. So zazen, or Dogen calls in that second essay I mentioned, the king of samadhi, samadhi. And Dogen's teaching includes what we could think of as an all-inclusive Buddha mudra. All-inclusive Buddha mudra. That's zazen. So... mudra this is probably the one word you don't know already or maybe you do mudra is the name given to the way we hold our hands the cosmic mudra and when we're sitting and it also means something like a seal like something that's visibly impressed, like you put a, I mentioned last week, I think, like you put a signature stamp into wax, hot wax, to seal it. That's your letter, and you've sealed it with your own family crest, or your own initials, or whatever. So the Buddha mudra is sealing, you're putting an image of yourself.

[50:47]

It's like a cookie cutter. Reality now is holding an image. You have made an image of this upright seated posture. That's what you're doing now. You're like impressing the universe with this image of the Buddha mudra. So it has these three aspects. The first one is the body, literally, your physical form. And so there's Dogen referring to right posture, neither leaning to the left or to the right, settling into a steady, movable sitting position. So that's addressing the body, the form of the mudra. that has to do with the physical form. And then there's, so that's Xin Jin, that's Jin, and then Shin, Xin Jin, the mind is also being addressed, the psychological element of our being, through objectless meditation. Think not thinking. That's the instruction for your mind. So your body is told what to do, and your mind is also given some instruction.

[51:51]

Think not thinking. Okay? This is pretty much it. And then the third part is the body-mind dropped off. Realization. That's wisdom that arises as non-thinking. As non-thinking. Body-mind dropped off. Non-thinking, the essential art of Sazna. So these three elements, which are in that exchange that Rujing and Dogen had, Shinjin Datsuraku, body-mind, body-mind dropped off. So that's basically the all-inclusive Buddha mudra. Think not thinking. How do you think not thinking? Upright sitting. Body mind dropped off. That's the whole story pretty much. So to engage in seated meditation as the practice of the Buddha without seeking to make a Buddha is to study with the body. Which is why Dogen can make this very striking claim that the upright seated posture is itself the king of samadhi and the entrance into awakening.

[52:59]

The real emphasis in Zen, this is the mark of our school, is this upright posture, the Buddha mudra. Upright when you're sitting, upright when you're doing your dishes, upright when you're driving the car. You're basically... not leaning to the right or the left, you're not kind of collapsed on your spine, you're basically meeting your life from this upright position of being aware of what you're doing, being available to what you're doing, and energetic about what you're doing, if you can be, you know, this is the teaching, this is the practice that Dogen's offering. So he's making this claim. That the upright seated posture is the king of samadhi, the queen of samadhi, the whatever, gender neuter, no gender needed of samadhi. The ancient mind seal, seal, mudra, the ancient mind seal of the Buddhas transmitted from the ancestor to ancestor in Dogen's way of understanding is embodied.

[54:05]

It's not some concept. It's not some understanding like, oh, I think I understand. I think I'm awake. It's not what you think. It's not what you're feeling. It's not your experience. It's your body. It's your embodied engagement with your life. It leads with the body. It's concrete. It actually can be, you know, you can hit it. You can hit it right there. So Karl Bielfeld, who's a wonderful human being, he's a professor down at Stanford, and was a student of Suzuki Roshi in the early, early years of the Zen Center. And he went on to study Buddhism scholastically, and has, you know, quite mastered ancient Japanese and Chinese texts, and he's done a lot of translations, and he wrote a book on this fascicle, Fuganza Zengy, called Dogen's Manuals of Zen Meditation. very hard to read.

[55:06]

I've been working my way through it. It is a scholarly work. And he does a lot of comparisons of this rendition of the Fukanza Zengi and a later rendition and which was first and that kind of thing. So, you know, if you like that, it's there. You can enjoy reading Karl's book. But he also makes some very important points that I found, you know, like, oh, yeah, that's very helpful of how to understand Dogen's teaching here. And so what he's saying is that Dogen has moved from the world of wisdom as a conceptual or an insight, let's say, an understanding, to the realm of ritual. This is like the bowing I was just mentioning. A realm in which the enlightened mind is to be directly expressed within the concrete world of form, how you behave, how you speak. how you make a living, you know, all of these things, how you treat objects, ritual.

[56:10]

So, he says that Dogen further upholds, just ahead in this meditation manual, that this zazen that he speaks of is linked to each and every action of Zen practice. and the better at practice you become. I don't know better, but anyway, the more practice you do, like the piano, you seem to be, seems better. You can basically get through the dishes without dropping them or actually getting them clean and that kind of thing. So there's some sense of your gaining skills. So as we repeat, I know our chanting in the morning has gotten better with this new group of students who've come in. Initially, it's kind of like this cacophony of, people are doing all kinds of things and then this morning it was beautiful harmonies and people were chanting with a lot of enthusiasm so it was lovely so in that sense every action of Zen practice becomes your meditation the practice of your meditation the practice of the Buddha so actions that are free from discrimination and that are beyond our understanding

[57:21]

Like bowing, I can't really understand it. I can do it. So all of these things Dogen mentions in the Fukanza Zengi, like a whisk, a hosu, that's a whisk, a whisk in the face. We've talked about that before. A fist, you know, a staff or a shout. These are the kind of behaviors of the Zen adepts, which cannot be fully understood by discriminative thinking. You can't understand that. What is that whisk in the face? Explain it to me. You know, I can't. I can do it. You know, I can do it. I can yell, and so on, I can shout. So this shift is from the inward guest, the one who turned the light around to look at the Self, the person who's seated in silent meditation, G, the person, just this person, to the outward expression of the guest as the host, as re, that kind of non-bound, unbounded, So the guest is unbounded and becomes the host by means of physical enactment of the deeds of the ancestors.

[58:28]

So the ancestors are the historical exemplars of wholehearted, enlightening behavior. That's why we love their stories. He said, what? He did what? It's so beyond thinking. It's beyond our usual way, our ordinary mind, ordinary way of understanding the world. And that's what opens this out, because it's like, well, I never thought of that before. That's a new idea. That's something new for me. That's opening me to another way of seeing things, right? So Buddha sees Buddha, and Buddha does what Buddha sees, you know, round and round. That may be enough for now. I think next week I will start with section three of this essay, which is where he begins, you know, the great mystery, basically. The great mystery at the heart of Zen, of certainly Dogen Zen, is when he says the Zaza and I speak of is not learning meditation, it is simply the Dharma gate of reposing bliss, the practice realization of totally culminated enlightenment.

[59:36]

That's the great mystery. Really? Yes. You know, it's like, okay. there's a that's a wonderful thing you know if we actually can hold that that this is not to learn meditation it's just the dharma gate of repose and bliss the practice realization of totally culminated enlightenment it is the manifestation of ultimate reality traps and snares can never reach it once its heart is grasped that's the mystery once the heart is grasped once the understanding which only you know only only you know the heart when you when you feel it when you can feel it in your heart like oh i think i think there's something there you know then you are like a dragon gaining the water or like a tiger taking to the mountains and so on so we'll talk about that next time and i would really welcome you to offer thoughts and questions and

[60:42]

Gui, I see your hand is there. Hi, Fu. Hi, Gui. Hello, Sangha. Thank you so much for your talk and for everyone's presence here. First, I wanted to say how much I love the metaphor of the dual foci, especially because it's only with the dual foci that we can see in three dimensions, right? Without one, it's two dimensional or with only one, right? We lose our sense of depth perception and, and the illusion of depth perception is only, it's, we can, we write, there used to be the old school where we would show one picture here and then you'd see a picture in 3D. It's the illusion even with both foci, but I really appreciated that metaphor. I thought it was, it was wonderful. One question I had, I was wondering if you could speak to is, I remember in Reb's book, Being Upright, he had mentioned how Suzuki Roshi in one of his talks had said that he was not enlightened.

[61:55]

And then later on, he said that he was Buddha. And Reb was like, okay, that's more likely. And I think I had asked something, which you gave a wonderful response when we were studying Hangzhou. about the monks that nod their head. And you told me, well, it's an empty head that nods. And my question is, if you could speak a little bit of how not knowing is nearest, but in our tradition, there seems to be a lot of, oh, I have got it, right? I have dropped body and mind. And in my own personal practice, whenever I have any feeling of that, I'm like, whoa, you know, who, what, what self are you making? What is there to understand and dropping that itself away? So I'm wondering, right in that pivotal in that paradox of what Zen is, if we could speak to that paradox itself. Great is my question.

[62:57]

Yeah. Well, that's, you know, that's right where we spin. We're spinning. I mean, that's, we're supposed to be spinning, spiraling, maybe, you know, that We're not supposed to kind of get enlightened. That's kind of a funny thing to say. That's like a rock. Oh, I'm enlightened. I'm a rock. I'm an enlightened rock. Yeah, exactly. And then you're there. You're still there. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's not a person. As someone said, Buddha is not a person. It's a quality. And when they asked the Buddha, you know, are you a demon? Are you a god? Are you a human? He said, no, no. He said, what are you? I'm awake. I'm awake. I think the word awake is better than enlightened. I think I've pretty much started to move away from the word enlightenment because it sounds like a state. Yeah, it's something you can get. And never lose.

[64:00]

Like an Academy Award or something. It's really not a thing. It's not in time. It's more like a quality of our life. We are awake and we just aren't quite sure how to handle that. So the hongaku is that you're already in that state. awakened state. You're born there. Rocks are born there. Everything's born there. Everything's born from this state of vast, great, all-inclusive. Rocks are included, and mountains, and stars, and banana slugs. Everything's included in whatever it means. So universe is awake, right? Yes. And we just get to be these little reflector mirrors looking at it all going like, wow. Wow. Well, that's amazing, you know, and if that's enlightenment, that's enough, like to be in awe of the world and of life and of the universe and of all that's going on here. That seems like that's kind of it. I think that's pretty good.

[65:02]

If you can be in awe, how it just in just kind of stop in your tracks every now and then and just look at what's here. Is that how can you possibly not get it? That's something so wonderful that you say that because And one thing I wanted to say before I forget is I wonder when you're awake, you can fall back asleep. It's my question, right? Do we lose sight of it as we continue practice? Because at least I have heard of maybe stories of being individuals who would be awake but do some very, very asleep things or unenlightened things, which are the human as well, right? Human first. I'm wondering of that the fixation on a state and then a maybe glorification is not the right word, but but then we also lose sight of of, you know, there's the balance, right?

[66:04]

Well, practice realization is one word, like Shinjin, you know, it's one word practice realization. Without the practice, the realization isn't realized. So, you know, you just kind of went, you just kind of went. back into your old ways it's like oh i'm done with that that stuff's not interesting to me anymore it's like that's okay there's nothing no one's asking you to do this or requiring anything of you you know it's really self we're self-taught self-motivated i really want to know i want to know where we are what we're doing and what i'm supposed to do while i'm here and i really have a big wish to get some answers. And, you know, Zen was probably the wrong place to go for answers. Correct. Took the wrong turn there. So, yeah, but I certainly feel a lot more thrilled with what was in that door and how lucky I feel. It's like, wow, you know, just slap, you know, whisk in the face.

[67:04]

Yeah. Tread the water and enjoy the feeling of explosions, and there's no floor there to search for, right? Exactly. That's wonderful, too, because someone had asked me, I was speaking, they had asked me about meditation, and I had sort of told them a little bit of it, and I spoke of Zen, and they're like, oh, like searching for enlightenment? And the first thing that came to me was like, there's no, it's right here. There's nowhere to search for. And then And then there's nothing else to say after that, right? If only it was just sit. But it's wonderful to hear that. And it's one of those pivots that I practice with that I enjoy hearing you speak to. So thank you so much. Thank you, Guy. All the good thinking you're doing. Good or bad, I don't know about that. But thinking, yes, I can tell you that much. Well, I'm enjoying it. Hi, Tim.

[68:07]

How are you? Good to see you. Hi, Fu. I'm very good. I'm always... We talked about before One Dharma, and I'm always seeing these connections between early Buddhism, Theravada, and Zen. And one of my friends, Theravada and Bhikkhuni, she lives in San Rafael now. And... One of the meditations she does is meditating on the elements. That's a Theravadan thing. But she introduced a thing that I'd never heard her say this week. One of the elements is space. And I thought, that is so aligned with non-dualism and emptiness. And then I was like, right, it's a very strong connection with that, you know, listening to you and talking to you a lot.

[69:16]

I thought you might find that interesting. But on a personal note, my nephew asked about Dharma centers, Buddhist centers. And so he's going to come with me to your talk on June 25th on Sunday. I'm going to introduce him to. green gulch i really thought that would be a beautiful place to bring him and listen to you talk and see green gold so he's he's coming with me and my wife's coming so we'll stay out after for tea and i'd love to meet both your wife yeah yeah well well he's a good kid um kid meaning he's turning 30 he's turning 30. so yeah it's good to hear you again thank you Thank you, Tim. Nice to see you. Sometimes nirvana has been likened to space, spaciousness. Hi. Hi. Hi.

[70:17]

Good evening, Sangha. Good evening, Fu. So good to see you again today. I am just so struck with this teaching, this manual for Zazen. It's a manual for life. As Guy was saying and sharing about, and you were talking about being awake, the one who woke up, being awake. But that's like a practice for everything, to be awake and to be connected. So I'm in the kitchen, I'm cooking. Be connected, be awake. I'm driving, be connected, be awake. I was just so struck at how this is such an important way of being in our world. that is honoring multitasking and doing all things all together and doing nothing individually well. And how this practice, and we're going to do the third part where he says, right, when you arise from sitting, move slowly and quietly, calmly and deliberately.

[71:22]

But can we do everything with that intimacy, with that presence of mind? And I think that's what this practice is calling us to do. Yes, I totally agree. And I think one of the confusions that happens in the kitchen, kitchen is really a wonderful place to practice with other people. It's got everything, everything you could possibly hope for. Other people, food, and wonderful smells, and then you're creating something to feed the community. It's a wonderful place to practice. And Dogen also wrote a book, the Tenzo Kyokun. about practicing in the kitchen which i'm i'm going to be looking up soon because i'm in the kitchen so it's kind of revitalized my passion for that action taking action in that way and um and i just forgot what i was going to say that is such a wonderful thing that's happening to my mind these gaps right right exactly i want it

[72:28]

I was going to say, in the meantime, I just wanted to point out a wonderful saying that came to mind when you said that is the Zen. And you can clarify it. The Zen saying, I think a monk had asked, what is Zen? And it's when you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, sleep. And that was a wonderful response, right? In something else, a ritual. And it's like, well, that is Zen. It's right there. And that's that whole idea of being intimate with it. You're really connected. You're seeing it. I mentioned many years ago, I think, in this that I always spell intimacy I-N-T-O-M-E-S-E-E. So whatever that action is, see it. Be it. Yeah. You are anyway. You are intimate. Right. There's no way out. And I think that we don't understand that that is our inheritance as living beings, this intimacy with oxygen and water and food and people and light and dark and stars.

[73:37]

It's like there's nothing but intimacy. But what are we doing? Watching Netflix, which is fine, no complaints. We're distracted. We're distracted. We're kind of distracted from this awesomeness. And so when I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, but it's funny when you said that when you're watching Netflix, are you watching Netflix? Right. Right. Because there are times when I watch Netflix and I'm like, well, this is not I'm not watching. I need to focus on whatever it is right here in front of me. And then I watch Netflix because, you know, when you want to watch Netflix, watch Netflix. Right. Or you pick up this demon of the phone. That's a personal one. I've been deleting. I'm making it closer and closer to the old school flip phones. Thank you so much. We've got AI coming so we can all get very excited about, you know, so many things that we've talked about before.

[74:45]

So anyway. Thank you. Ying. Hello, Ying. Hi, good to see you. Yeah, I feel so touched today when you were talking about the practice in our daily life. And I just feel so encouraging in a way because when you talked about someone saying I haven't been practicing, I didn't go to the Zendo. No, I really haven't been to the Zendo at all. Because I can't. So I feel like so touched because I have so much urge. I mean, I really want to practice and then physically limited I cannot be there so I'm just very grateful and I feel like sometimes life can like for me just because just so much stuff is going on people are getting sick like one after another so many situations when I'm in the middle of that sometimes I can forget I guess I'm practicing because I'm not breathing I guess when I'm reacting right I just like find those are the moments it's really hard for me because I have like

[75:51]

Like two kids running and all tons of stuff going on. Like for me, it's like a race after another. Like, I don't feel like I am leisurely. So I ask myself when I have time, am I practicing? Yes. Well, I thank you, Ying, because I remembered what I was going to say. Yeah, it has to do with pacing. So I was mentioning the kitchen. One of the things about the kitchen is that there's a temptation to do everything very carefully, meaning slowly. Unfortunately, if everyone does everything very slowly, we won't have lunch ready by noon. So there's a difference between focused attention and speed. So what we used to do, we had a couple of folks that worked at Greens who were really master choppers. Yeah. And so if there was somebody in the kitchen who had kind of fallen into that mindful, mindful chopping thing.

[76:54]

Oh, I'm mindfully chopping the carrots. Okay. So I send the greens person over. You stand across from them and you chop in onions with them. You know, so the guys, the greens guys just going, you know, gallon and a half. So it's just more like not to get caught by the pace. The pace is helpful. But to be able to change gears. So sometimes you've got to run. You've got to get that kid off. Get him. Get him in their pajamas and brushing their teeth and all that. You have a job to do. You have a big job. And you've got only so many hands. And you've got to use your energy to help your children to be safe and to be getting to where they need to go. So that's your job. And the pace is not so important. I think breathing is really good. And that every now and then you change your pace. You know, like I've suggested to you, like, well, why don't we just take a break and have some ice cream now?

[77:56]

Seems you're getting a little bored with your piano. So it's like, how to allow yourself to break the gear that you're in. If you're really going on that gear, it's like, okay, it's time to downshift. You know, take some breaths to walk outside. to kind of just remind yourself that you are practicing and you really care. And that's obvious. And that this too shall change. It will always change. Your kids are going to be teenagers any minute now. Then you're not going to know what to do with them. Just pray. So this is your time to be very busy. And also take care of yourself. And practice. Yeah, it is practice. You are practicing. Yeah. Yeah. I took my baby in, who's going to be 30. I took my baby in to my teacher.

[78:59]

When I first got her, she weighed about six pounds. And I took her in and I put her down on the Zabaton in front of his three bows. And I said, well, I'm not going to be doing any sitting for a while. I'm going to be doing babysitting. And sure enough. For many years, I did babysitting, wholeheartedly. It was wonderful. If I didn't compare it to I'm not going to the Zendo, if I faulted myself for not doing the real practice, it would have been painful. But I got support not to think like that. Dogen supports me not to think like that. Yes. Yes. Yeah, you're supporting. They are all supporting me. Yes, absolutely. Thank you. Thank you. Helene. Hi. Hi.

[80:00]

Good to see everybody. Thank you for your talk. It was really wonderful. I think of being present as a constant Activity of tying up loose ends. That's good. You know, because I just go from one thing to another. And, you know, I just kind of jump in and start going. But it, you know, It's very nice when I feel the cup and running water in my hands. That's just the sensory pleasure of that. Yes. Is very seductive.

[81:05]

But that's okay. Life seduces us. We came here. We came out of the womb. We were seduced. Out you came. No, we were pushed. We weren't seduced. Oh, yeah, it's Mother's Day, I forgot. Extruded. Get out of here. Yeah. Yeah, well, we took the bait, though. I feel like, you know, I was helping that process somehow or another. And I grabbed hold of that big, warm body. It wouldn't let go for a long time. So, yeah, we're... We're here to learn something. And I think what you just said was lovely about the cup of water. Do you like to drink? I really like drinking out of my cupped hands. I've lived for quite a while out in the woods, pretty much. And you just go to the stream and you just like big slurps of water. It's seductive.

[82:11]

But, you know, it's a nice feeling, I think, to to always be tying up loose ends and to just keep following that trail. And it's just, it's the everydayness of it. Yes. The all day long this everydayness. Weaving the ancient brocade. That's what we do. You know, straighten those pictures on the wall. Tie the shoelaces for your little kids. All that stuff. It's lovely. While you can. It's very short our time to tie up loose ends and to untie them. Just to see the gift of it, I think that's the only secret. You know, I mean literally like physical, like the kitchen.

[83:12]

kind of stuff. Oh, you mean that? This is not about... Shoelaces are pretty concrete. Yeah, no, shoelaces are concrete. But I'm not being philosophical about tying loose ends up relationship-wise. I just mean just things that... our sensory experiences, kind of focusing on on that. Well, that's Dogen's main thing is the body. He's saying it's the body. That's what's that's what's this is the Buddha mudra. And this is the place of expression, how you express your life is through your body, through your tying up loose ends. I thought that was a really beautiful description of the Buddha mudra and it made it a lot more real for me.

[84:18]

Good. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Michael, maybe you will be our last today. Hello. Hello, Michael. Hello, Fu. Thank you for your teachings and your quick willingness to teach. I would like to be more intimate with non-thinking. And so the question arises, Should I just drop that? Sure. You know, one assumption we make about life is that we're agents of control.

[85:28]

We actually have some agency. Yeah, I'll drop that. Oh, I'll pick that up. I'll think that. Well, I won't think that. You know, you can try. You can try not to be intimate. with non thinking or with thinking or not thinking or any of those things. And mostly I think I'm thinking that I'm not doing it. It's not there's no I'm, you know, it's like the more you you know, stop seeing your they're the self that's the like the magician behind the curtain, turning the dials and so on and recognizes just the dials are turning and the wizard is, you know, there on the wall and everything is very mysterious and magical and, and, and still, we go on in our awkward ways, you know, we still have this human form, and we are working with it as best we can. And just to sort of let yourself be charmed by it all, you know, You know, from time to time, I feel like I do have some clarity and especially when it appears that you can connect some dots, you know.

[86:46]

And so this particular phrase or phrase term non-thinking is, it seems like it's key. It seems like it's really a key instruction by Dogen. So to just let it go, just to not have that desire to understand it more completely has been troubling for me for years and years. I think probably from the first moment, you know, that I read this. Yeah. So.

[87:48]

Yeah. Tolkien's a troublemaker. And I think that's what he's after is troubling us. I mean, I think that's part of the journey, is feeling really confused and lost. I mean, I think that's disorientation, because we have been taught to be oriented, to think. You know, you haven't been taught to not think. And nobody said, stop thinking, you know. And here comes this tradition, which is saying, thinking is your problem. It's one of your big problems. It's also your way to freedom. For Dogen, it's also the entryway to liberation. He's very much into thinking and using thought in the best possible ways for the sake of our liberation, to help liberate us from that very thing that you're saying, which is, first of all, you've got to get caught. It's called the barbless hook. So Dogen's dropped a hook down into the ocean to catch these fish, you and me, and we take hold of the...

[88:53]

take hold of the hook, but there's no barb. You just have to open your mouth and just come right off. But we don't know that. So we're just struggling with it, we fight with it, we try to figure it out. But basically, what you said, let it go. Let it go. It's all it's okay. You're already swimming, you're already in the water, you're already completely immersed in the all inclusive Buddha mudra, you know, it's already there. So It's good to notice that that was an important thing for you. It's good to notice what post-its do you have for your practice that really matter to you. And those are kind of like your kids or something. You love them. You care for them. And you realize that I don't really know how to... I don't really understand you. I don't really have the sense of what it means to be your mother or your teacher or your student or anything. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try to work with these things because I want to, because there's something compelling you to ask those questions and to be curious and challenged.

[90:02]

So the more you can relax with being challenged, then you can be challenged. Bring it on, then relax. So you want to build in that relaxing with your questions and the not knowing. is really important to relax with that because that's the biggest truth of all. Good. Thank you very much. You're welcome, Michael. Take care. Okay. Good evening. You're all welcome to unmute and say good night, Sangha. Thank you, Fu. Thank you, Sangha. Thank you, Fu. Good night. Good night, everyone. Thanks everyone. I hope everyone has a wonderful week. Yeah. Have a great week. Bye. Take care. Thank you.

[91:00]

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