Good evening. I wanted first to say how much I appreciate the work period. And I appreciate it with a special kind of appreciation, which is the kind that knew Tassahara before there was a work period, which was really a different event. In 1976 was my first summer here, and I'd already done several practice periods, so my first job was head of cabin crew, and there was no work period. They were just us, you know, spaced out monks trying to get ready for guest season. And back in those days, we moved all the furniture out of the guest cabins for the practice periods. We took all the furniture to the lower... up in the loft.

[01:02]

The loft was totally full of furniture. So the first thing we had to do was move all the furniture back into the cabins, scratching and ruining it along the way. Somewhere we got really smart and decided the students would do it much less harm through the winter than we were doing it, moving it back and forth. Anyway, it was great in a way. I had a crew that was... pretty much as inexperienced as I was, and we moved the furniture and we cleaned the rooms and we set them up. And then the thing I most remember, two things I mostly remember, one is that we were trying to paint the bathroom in Stone 4. Stone 4 was a little different then. It's been rebuilt, but it had an old bathtub that was part of the first hot springs. the bathhouse was in the stone rooms. So each of the rooms had an old bathtub in it that was, by the time I was here, was covered over because we weren't using them as bathtubs.

[02:05]

And then there was this bathroom in Stone 4 that we were trying to paint white. And no one on my crew knew anything more than I did, and every day it got worse. We would try to paint this bathroom and then try again. I don't even know what was happening. But I was very happy to be... free from sitting so much zazen, in more than one way, free, and really enjoyed the high energy of the work, and I would work and work and work and work, and then every break I would go home and burst into tears. I think the attention of it, but also the grief of losing the practice period, the practice period that you've known for a while, and now it's this different world, and it was such a mixed... emotional event. Anyway, when several years later, someone, partly my husband and I think Blanche Hartman, they came up with the idea of having a work period where people with actual skills would come in and help us get ready for the summer.

[03:11]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, all of you. So, I want to talk tonight... about what I think of as the foundational teaching of our, or one of the foundational teachings maybe of our school, the Soto Zen School. And one way that it's expressed is in the first koan in the Book of Serenity, the Soto Zen Book of Koans. And many of you have heard it many times, but here it is again. The story itself is... One day, the world-honored one ascended the seat. Manjusri hit the gavel and said, clearly observe the dharma of the king of dharmas. The dharma of the king of dharmas is thus. And the world-honored one got down from the seat.

[04:13]

So... As I said, I feel like this is like the essence of Soto Zen. It's the very first koan in this book of a hundred short stories that are used to teach Soto Zen, if you're using koans. So let's go through it again. It's talking about the world-honored one, which is often, you know, is meant to say the Buddha. The Buddha ascended the seat, which usually means like, coming like I did. I ascended the seat a minute ago to give a talk. So the Buddha ascends the seat, and Manjushri, who's the personification of wisdom, hits the gavel, which was one of the things that they did before a talk by the teacher, would be to hit a gavel to signal the beginning of the talk. And Manjushri makes this announcement. Clearly observe the Dharma of the King of Dharma. The Dharma of the King of Dharma is thus...

[05:17]

kind of setting the stage for the Buddha to proclaim his Dharma. And the world honored one got down from the seat. It doesn't say for sure how long he sat there, but it doesn't mention any other words that he said. So another way of seeing, of talking about any of these stories, but this one in particular, is to be the parts yourself, that the parts are about us. The world-honored one is also us. We are each the world-honored one. And again, this is, as I see it, the essence of Soto Zen. What we're doing in Soto Zen is saying, I'm going to study the world, I'm going to study the Dharma through sitting down with this one being, this one that I'm, this thing I call me, is attached to in this lifetime.

[06:19]

I'm going to study the Dharma here. So each of us, the world-honored ones, world-honored because this is the only place I can study it. This is where the center of my universe is, right at this person. So I will honor it. I will ascend the seat with it. I will sit down with this body and mind. And then Manjushri says, the wisdom says, clearly observe the dharma of the king of dharma. The dharma of the king of dharma is thus. Clearly observe. While you're sitting there, clearly observe the dharma. I tried to think of what is a more gender neutral term than king of dharma. I mean, we could say the king or queen of dharma. I wasn't really drawn to the queen of dharma or the king of dharma, either one. I thought the monarch of dharma.

[07:22]

You can pick your own. The dharma of, you know, the real dharma. The dharma of the most dharma. The real dharma. The dharma, the real dharma. Clearly observe the real dharma. The real dharma is thus. So he's not giving us many clues there. When we sit down, if you think about it, here you are sitting, so we could do it right now. If I'm here with this world-honored one, and the Dharma is thus, what does that mean? And if you sit zazen regularly, you might even have more questions. Right now, maybe if you're quiet for a moment, it's fairly quiet, because I'm talking and you're listening, then we're quiet, and there you are.

[08:25]

There's your body, there's your mind. But if you sit Zaza, you probably know that a lot of the time it's not like that. A lot of the time when you're sitting Zaza, there's a lot going on. There's a lot of thoughts, there's a lot of stories, there's a lot of emotions. There can be a lot of physical feelings. There can be a lot of emotional or physical pain. There can be a lot of things that we would not normally think of as the real Dharma. And yet, the embodiment of wisdom says, clearly observe thus. Clearly observe this. This is the real Dharma. So that's... I think the basic teaching of Soto Zen, it's like the real Dharma is manifest for us when we just sit down. Just sit down or just be with, even if we stand up or lay down, be with this world-honored one.

[09:31]

Be with this body, this mind, where Dharma is being manifested. I think this is something that doesn't, that thought, doesn't really come naturally to us. You know, when we think about ourselves, we often think, well, you know, there's this thing that could be better and there's this that maybe I'm really good at this, but I need some help over here. Or, you know, we have more dissatisfied thoughts. We might have satisfied thoughts also, but to actually feel like this is the entryway to liberation. I think, is often not what we think. We sometimes experience it. If we're having a calm moment, we might notice the spring breeze in our face or the rain, the wonderful rain that's been happening, or looking at flowers. We might notice that we are able to walk up and down this valley, that we...

[10:38]

Or we watch somebody like Calliope who's really enjoying what it is to walk. Or if you haven't had the capacity to walk, then you might really notice it's wonderful to be able to walk. Or if you ever don't have the capacity to breathe, you might notice it's really wonderful to be able to breathe. That's really a blessed state. But a lot of the time, what we notice is when something is not, doesn't feel right, you know, and it's causing us some kind of difficulty. Then is it true? Is that the Dharma, the real Dharma, this difficulty that I'm experiencing? That's, I think, what practice, Soda Zen practice, what life at Tassajara is encouraging us to explore. It's encouraging us to clearly observe what is happening here.

[11:41]

And I don't think it's telling us, clearly observe it and find a way to tell it. Find a way to express it verbally. We're, most of us, I think, quite connected to our capacity to verbalize and to our way of turning things into ideas and words. It gives us a sense of control. That's the main reason we like to be able to say things. Sometimes we want to communicate something, but talking to ourself, we want to know, what is it? What is it? Why do I want to know what it is? So I can make it do what I want it to do, behave or go away or something. So to let that... compulsion relax a little bit and just actually stay with what's happening without having to put it into words without having to make it make sense to just be there with this question is there any way that this could be the real Dharma?

[12:54]

Is there any way that this experience of being could be connected to liberation, freedom. So that's, I believe, the question that is actually at the root of our Zazen. We don't always remember that, but usually it comes up in some form or another when we're sitting in Zazen, like, is it okay? What's happening in my, you know, what thoughts I'm thinking, could they possibly be No, they must be wrong. This can be real zazen. Or if something, you know, we have a difficult interaction with someone and then we get a kind of fear sometimes that is surprisingly strong and deep that I think is connected to this question, am I actually okay? Do I belong? Am I an all right human being that think...

[14:00]

Human beings tend to have, actually, tend to have that question. And that's the question that Zazen is about addressing. Stay with it. Experience what it is to be you. Another way to, and kind of, this much more could be said about this, but... Another way that we sort of experience what is, or that we explore what is the, what is the real Dharma? What is this body, mind? What is it? Is something that we do twice a day. Twice a day we take refuge. We take at the beginning of morning service and after zazen at night.

[15:00]

Part of our regular schedule is to take refuge in Buddha, in Dharma, and in Sangha. This is the same question in a way. It's what do I rely on? What is my basis? What do I rely on? We rely on something. A lot of the time, a lot of the time we rely on something. And what we often rely on, each of us, is our own mind. We think, I have to figure out how to be a tasara. If you're new here, you're probably saying, I have to figure out how to do those forms. What are the words to those sutras? What do they mean? Well, how do I... work the cash register in the office? How do I do the particular cut they want me to do in the kitchen?

[16:03]

And in fact, as we're sort of searching for how do I make my life work, how do I get along with my roommate? I didn't really want to have a roommate at this time in my life, but now I have this roommate. How do I get along with him? How do I get along with my crew head? How do I really practice Zen? You know, should I do extra zazen or should I just do the regular schedule? So we spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is the right way to live. So this suggestion that we say twice a day, this I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Dharma, I take refuge in Sangha, is... is a suggestion for radical change. Instead of relying on what can I figure out, how can I figure out how to make myself into the right person, is to try relying on going for refuge to Buddha, which we could say, one way of looking at what is taking refuge in Buddha is...

[17:21]

This person, Buddha, a regular person, not a god, not just a person who sat down and did this very work that we're doing, stayed with himself to find the way to liberation. So that's one way of saying, I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge in what he did, and I take refuge in the fact that he passed it on. He made it somehow available to be passed on so that we can follow that way. Another way of thinking about it, the way I usually think about it, is that Buddha is also the way things are. Sometimes I think of it as I take refuge in the universe. I take refuge in the way everything is connected. So I take refuge in each thing. that comes to me. I take refuge in the way all of those things are connected to each other and that I'm part of that.

[18:27]

I'm in the midst of that. I take refuge in Dharma. As I said, this is a very short version of these. Dharma is the teaching And it also is the objects that are taught about. Or again, it's very similar. It's like the way things fit together. The teaching, you know, that is passed down to us. Of course, there's lots of teaching here in the summer. And hopefully those of you who are staying will be able to find a way to take refuge in it, to absorb that teaching and find it relevant to your life. A kind of shorthand version, very short version of the teaching of Buddhism is everything changes and everything is connected.

[19:30]

It's just that simple. There's nothing that we can find that is stable, that doesn't change. And there's nothing that we can find that is separable from anything else. Those are two very, I think, these days anyway, they're kind of logical. We probably all believe that mostly. Except we don't really believe it or want to believe it about ourself. We don't want to believe that we can't be separated from things. We'd like to believe that I can find a way to get away from certain things things, people that I don't want to be around, and just be with the things that I want to be with. In fact, we spend a whole lot of energy trying to do that. So to actually settle with, and we also sort of deeply believe I can find a way to keep, to not change the part of me that I don't want to change, and to only make changes where I want to, where, you know, to become more the person I should be.

[20:38]

So To deeply settle with this, everything is changing, I'm changing, I am, you know, essentially dying. Living, and then coming to life, but then dying. Living, dying. But that's happening in me, and that I am totally connected to everyone and everything else is... Again, one way to say, how do you take refuge in that? How do you actually rest on that instead of resisting it? How do we deeply, deeply accept that? So this, again, is something for those of us who are staying to explore here at Tassajara. Tassajara really supports that exploration. But the whole world supports it, too. So those of you who are leaving... also can explore this, how do we take refuge in that Dharma?

[21:43]

And then I take refuge in Sangha, is, again, sometimes it's very clear to us that we are supported by the Sangha. Here we are, we're supported at Tassara, you know, somebody, one of our Sangha members is going to get up and ring the wake-up bell in the morning. One of our Sangha members is going to start the Han. Many of our Sangha members are going to come here to sit with each other in the morning, to support each other, to chant with each other, to cook the breakfast, to put on the roof on the building, to do all those things that we're supporting ourselves with. And we can feel that support and appreciate it. Then there are those moments when it's a little bit harder to feel that support, when those Sangha members, sometimes those very same Sangha members... Make us feel terrible. Make us bring up that part of ourselves that we were hoping to never see again. How do we take refuge in that?

[22:50]

How do we meet, really use that, use the fact that someone bothers us? Someone... makes us angry, someone makes us afraid, how do we use that to, again, meet that part of ourself to find out whether that part belongs? Is there some way that it's okay to be this person? That's our exploration. So my suggestion is that's what's called taking refuge in Sangha. When Sangha... a particular Sangha member maybe makes you into the person who you don't want to be, can we use that situation to explore what is this person, to stay with this person?

[23:51]

I realize I might be saying some things here that you have some questions about. Um... I want to mention the poem that goes with that story that I told you about the world-honored one. It's also about taking refuge. It's a beautiful poem. Let's see if I can remember it. The unique breeze of reality. Can you see? Continuously, creation runs her loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient brocade, incorporating the forms of spring.

[25:01]

One continuous thread comes from the shuttle. As the woof goes through the wharf, the weave is dense and fine. One continuous thread comes from the shuttle. How can this even be spoken of on the same day as false cause or no cause? Try that again. The unique breeze of reality. Can you see? Continuously, creation runs her loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient brocade, incorporating the forms of spring. As the woof goes through the wharf, the weave is dense and fine. One continuous thread comes from the shuttle. How can this even be spoken of on the same day as false cause or no cause? So this unique breeze of reality, the ancient brocade that we are part of, that everything is connected and somehow we fit into it.

[26:13]

Can we see how that ancient brocade is surrounding us, is supporting us, that we're relying on it? Can we feel how it's... creating us and we're helping to create it. We're helping to create each other. There's this one continuous thread not being, you know, can't be spoken of on the same day as false cause or no cause. We often think something comes into our life as it's a mistake. How did I get so that I have to work with that person? I shouldn't have to. You know, they should be on a different crew. Or they should just be different. Or I shouldn't have to live in this place. Or Zazen period shouldn't be so long. Or, you know, we shouldn't have that for dinner.

[27:17]

Many things that we can feel like somehow that shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have done that, they shouldn't have done that. But this is saying everything, all this whole koan, the teaching of thusness, that this is the real Dharma, the true Dharma. How can I rely on this? How can I take refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha here? The fact that... I live here. Whatever comes to me is mine. Whatever happens to me is mine to rely on, mine to practice with, mine to create a new me and explore how does this new me fit in? How could this me that's appearing right now be a benefit to the world instead of causing more suffering?

[28:21]

So that's the exploration that I think we are engaged in together, trying to help each other with. And I want to stop and see if you have any questions that can help this be a more beneficial lecture. Yes. Do any of you have anything you'd like to say or ask? Yes. Simone. is what's different of spending time here versus spending time outside in relation to what one can learn or improve himself yes yes you know in some ways nothing it's the same world it's definitely the same world here is there the the if you want to say it the nature of reality is the same things are still connected things are still changing um There is a lot of support here because you're surrounded by people who also want to answer this question, how can I live a beneficial life?

[29:31]

In what ways am I causing myself and others more suffering? So if other people are also looking at that in themselves, it gives us, to the extent that we do that, to the extent that I'm looking at how am I causing suffering, it leaves a lot of room. for other people to do the same. And then, of course, the Zendo schedule that we do together, that's very helpful for that, and the fact that life is simpler here. There's so much going on out there that it's really good that we don't really have Internet access very well, and that we're far away. The road is a great, great benefit to... Self-improvement, as you said, which I could argue with. Yes. Is there anything else? Yes. What do we do with sort of our own bonesiness, like with just sort of finding ourselves being hurtful, harmful, and bonesy?

[30:47]

Yes. Yeah. I would say if you find yourself in the midst of being hurtful, because a lot of the time it happens and we don't notice it, but if we actually do notice it, that's very auspicious. That means we've been looking for it. We want to see it, right? So if you see it and you're in the midst of it, I would say... Do whatever you can to stop. Even if it's like you just say, sorry, I have to leave right now. Or just make some motion maybe so that they don't think they've done something horrible and turn away. But if you're in the midst of a huge emotion... You know, like maybe you're angry already by then. Still, if you notice it and if you're able to just do anything to... A lot of that comes from habit, you know, deep habits.

[31:51]

Like we've been hurt and we get something happens that gets us close to our hurt place and we go into one of our ways that we found has worked in some way or another in the past to get some space from it. which can be very harmful to ourselves and others. But it has a lot of habitual force to it. So it takes some just breaking the habit, just like do something different. If you find yourself like working yourself up to doing your way of harming yourself or others, so you haven't actually done it outside yet, outside your head or outside your body, Then I would say, if you notice it then, try to, first of all, put yourself in a stable posture, standing, sitting, walking, or lying down, and try to find where is the pain, tension in your body.

[32:56]

Try not to be distracted by the story about it, because we almost always have a story going, and the story has its own momentum, which... has something to do with what is triggered for us, which is sending us into our habit place, but it isn't exactly right. You know, the habit place has a lot of old stuff mixed into it. And the present situation may still need to be dealt with. You know, that's part of what Tassajara offers is how are we going to deal with internal and external world at the same time? So I'm not saying... Don't pay any attention to the external situation. But sometimes in that moment where we're going to do something harmful, if we can, to just like step back and try to find the place in us that is tight, let's say tight. Usually it's some form of tightness. And then just be there with it.

[33:58]

And... That's much different than actually following that habit track. We think, well, then I have to do something with it, don't I? But actually, it's changing. It will change by itself. I think it's mostly our running away from it that causes the harm. But it takes, you know, we really don't think it's a safe place to be. So it might sound simple to do, but it takes some working up to... Okay, can I actually feel this horrible feeling before we can do it sometimes? Thanks for the question. Anything else? One more look around the Zendo to see if there's anything. Yes. Yes, what about that?

[35:11]

So then the World Honored One got down from the seat. As I said, it doesn't really say, as Reb is always pointing out about these various stories, they don't really give you the amount of time between things. So, you know, Manjushri said that. clearly observe, and then the world honored one stepped down. We don't know whether that happened right away or whether he sat there for 40 minutes first. But I believe that whether he got down right away or sat there for a while and then got down, a big point was that he didn't say, he didn't talk a lot. He didn't do what I'm doing tonight. He didn't, you know, describe it a lot. I think the pointing to the dharma of the king of dharma is thus, is without words. Words can hopefully be helpful also, but they aren't our way to salvation, which we often think, I need to figure this out.

[36:22]

I need to know in words what's happening. And Soto Xan is poignant. It's really a body practice. And that doesn't mean that it doesn't, if you can follow on my negatives, that it doesn't include thinking and emotions and words. All of that is included, but the gate in Soto Xan is through the body. And to me, it's a kind of miracle way around it. my logical mind, which wants to be in charge and wants to figure things out. So this first story, I think, is heading us back to be with yourself with an open heart. And eventually, get down. Get up from the seat and walk out. Meet everything. It's not all here. It's also... Moving around, you know, it's part of why we have a guest season, not just a practice period.

[37:29]

Thank you for asking. Thank you all very much for being here, and I'm once again so grateful that you have all come to Tassajara to practice together for whatever amount of time you're here. Thank you.

[37:48]

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