This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Yesterday what I was trying to communicate without saying it directly was... Our discipline can take us so far and then at some point it's devotion that enters fully. And often it's more about feeling than it is about thought. It's more about what's engendered by trust and intimacy than it is by persistence and discipline.

[01:12]

They have their place, persistence and discipline. They tend to sober us up. They tend to show us the futility of trying to make it the way I want it. And most of us need that lesson repeated on a regular basis. But then allowing a shift. something shifts and it's okay that it's starting to rain. Maybe we say, well, I would prefer it if it was sunny, but it's okay that it's starting to rain.

[02:25]

There's still preferences. But they're not the dictators. They have been in former times. They're not the schoolyard bullies. They can be. Something more intimate is coming into relief. As they are muted, the clamor they create is less, taking up less mental and emotional space. And we start to see

[03:34]

the request of the Dharma, the request of the practice in a deeper way. In some ways it's asking more of us and then in another way it's offering more. Okay, now how about With every exhale, there's nothing but exhale. Not as an act of supreme discipline, but a recognition that's what your life depends on, breathing out and breathing in. That's what the path of liberation is.

[04:39]

Letting go. And letting be. As Anna Swer says, it's humility. It's not that I've figured something out. It's more a sensibility. Disposition is becoming palpable. This is the territory of tranquility. And in terms of the seven factors of awakening, the ones we've mastered so far, mindfulness, investigation, energy, and joy, now we're on easy street.

[05:57]

Just on cruise control now. Rest is a shame, just... Every day's a good day. Every moment's a good moment. The sun shines, beautiful. If the rain falls, beautiful. If you're a fully enlightened Buddha, that is. If there's still a little karmic... going on. Well, something else happening too. But there's a Native American question. There's a two-headed beast. One head is fierce, aggressive, and vicious. The other head is compassionate and kind and gentle.

[07:06]

Which one will grow to take over the beast, the one you feed the most. So now, despite the fact there's still this clamoring in our being, Maybe the schoolyard bully of like and dislike is no longer so active. But his siblings are still hanging around, being annoying and demanding and persistent. But which one will you feed? now within you which turns towards the Buddha way as an act of appreciation as an act of devotion as an expression of

[08:43]

humility, purity. Can that be allowed to blossom? And when the arising clamor appears, can it be treated with steady kindness. That too. So in the process of the mind settling, the process of the heart settling, general awareness

[09:43]

initiating seeing what is, shifting the energy from grasping it and struggling with it and trying to make it what it should be, and then a kind of uprising of relief, joy. and a swear says, gratitude. Thank you, my life. And then the next factor, tranquility. Although as I said yesterday, maybe ease is

[10:47]

a better translation something is lighter we are our attitude our demands they're lighter softer more pliable Coming back to the moment, coming back to the body, coming back to the breath, is a more doable proposition. But not all the time. There's still a clamor. sometimes just more in the background, and then sometimes right front and center.

[11:58]

But can even that be held with tranquility, with ease? Does it have to be imbued with a nastiness that makes it afflictive. So this is the exploration. This is the step. This is the Dharma gate of tranquility. And Rumi talks about it like this. He says, inside this new love. And who doesn't like a new love? Inside this new love, die.

[13:04]

Good news, huh? karmic persistence that says all this struggling all this demanding and regretting is absolutely essential to stay alive so Rumi says well in that case die don't stay alive check that out your way begins on the other side. Become the sky. Take an axe to the prison wall. Escape. Walk out like somebody suddenly born into color. To see that the world isn't shades of gray.

[14:14]

That the world is vibrant color. Even on a rainy day. It's three-dimensional. It's filled with people walking around conjuring up versions of reality. My daughter gave her son a box of crayons, which he never had before. So he took one in each hand and he started drawing with both hands, drawing something different with each hand. No one ever told him, you can't do that. Walk out like somebody sudden born into color.

[15:22]

Do it now. You're covered with a thick cloud. Slide out the side. Die. And be quiet. Quietness is the surest thing that you've died. In between the inhale and the exhale. There's a pause. There's a transition. It's neither being nor letting go. Dogen Zenji calls it unconstructedness in stillness. That moment of returning to awareness. Nothing needs to be added. Nothing needs to be subtracted. It's so close.

[16:30]

It's so available. It's like the mangling sign of the mysterious dragon that lives under the tongue. And the sign of the rain. And the chirping of the blue jay. Quietness is the surest sign that you've died. Your own life was a frantic running from silence. timing maybe in our karmic preference tranquility is the great escape from our afflictions our torments

[17:50]

which become all the more ominous when we realize we can't hold other responsible for them. That we are indeed an integral part of them. So then, of course, tranquility would be the sweet escape. And actually, for most of us, experiencing some settling, experiencing some concentration, experiencing some way that the body and the mind and the heart drop some of their agitation, is both instructive and inspiring. also be dangerous okay this is the solution to karmic being this process of neutralizing that karmic being happens to be life

[19:32]

we're left with an existential dilemma. Neutralize life. This is not the dying that Rumi's talking about. The dying here is about giving birth. It's about living without the burden acting out or trying to avoid our karmic life. Whether you like the sign of the rain or loathe it, either way, it's life. So this initiation of ease, it sets the stage for another way of engaging.

[21:01]

As I said, more to do with devotion than discipline. As Rumi said, check out quietness. Not about suppression. Just that moment of unconstructed being. Where what's present comes forth and informs life. informs life. This too. And Yanmen talks about it like this. He says, medicine and disease harmonize with each other.

[22:05]

The medicine being the dharma and the disease being the karma. harmonize with each other, they cure each other, they subdue each other. Some combination of those words. Meaning that as the open accepting mind hears the brain. This amazing manifestation of existence and notices pleasant or unpleasant like or dislike and holds it with spaciousness this very display of karmic existence unfolds the Dharma of being

[23:13]

And in other moments when water rises, it has more poignancy or adamancy. And that too, holding that, seeing that, feeling that, being that, this too can become instructive. This is medicine and disease informing and revealing the path. And then Yon Man says, the whole world is medicine. In Sufi practice they say, everything is God.

[24:35]

There is nothing but God. The whole world is medicine. The sign of the ring, the exhale. The memory. pleasant emotion. And how is it so? What way of relating allows that to be revealed? How will we trust just sitting? if there isn't within us some involvement with that statement, at least some willingness to explore it, to be it.

[25:47]

Whatever arises expresses the path and offers itself up as a medicine. as a way to release affliction, as a way to release confusion. And we can do a mix and match. You know, we can watch, now that we've mastered mindfulness, investigation, energy and joy, we can watch, okay, where am I on the karmic chart? What quota of fantasies of wish-fulfilling thinking is going on? Or have I advanced to holding others responsible for my difficulties?

[26:54]

Or maybe I've entered the beautiful territory of thinking, uh-oh, maybe this is about me. some dreaded feeling of personal inadequacy or self-criticism. Or maybe we're in the misty corridors of more regressed, deep feelings. Pushing us like a strong wind. rather than thinking and searching for tranquility that will save us from all that. I trust that even this is the land of medicine.

[28:05]

A willingness to just be in the middle of it and when the mind contracts okay experience notice acknowledge make contact experience invited back into the flow of interdependent existence. And when the emotions arise, either blatant and obvious or deep-seated and mysterious, so be it. practice doesn't change.

[29:16]

Something has softened up about some great evil has to be overcome or some great accomplishment has to be made. The request of practice is simpler. Allow what is to be what is. And don't exclude anything. And as Rumi says, as you come into the territory of this new life, let something go.

[30:31]

Experiment. What would it be like if that karmic story didn't define existence? would it be like if it flow died with the exhale and recreated with the inhale not knowing drawing into this territory. As an obvious and simple activity.

[31:33]

And I would say more as a feeling disposition than a strongly held mental concept. And watching. What is the body of this? What is the breath of this way of being? How does it hold and meet and relate to the karmic arisings that are me. Maybe you'll take a crayon in both hands and start drawing two pictures at once.

[32:46]

Why not? who says you can only draw one picture at once. Who knows how or what you'll be. And Dogen Jinji says, this is the transmission of all the Buddhas. and all the ancestors. And Chikantaza isn't some peculiar medieval Japanese practice. It's the simple being That as humans we are so intrigued by.

[33:57]

We want to write poems about it. We want to sing about it. Create works of art about it. And somewhere in our being we want to live it. this deep wish to live not be in opposition to our notion of practice but can it be as young man says these two are allies the medicine and the disease are allies together they bring forth the flowering of what is Can we start to sit like that?

[34:59]

As Nazim Hikmat says, we should take life seriously, like a squirrel. It's true if you watch a squirrel, they're really living. They don't dawdle. They don't, you know, like, they're just like, they're committed. Living like this. So there's this refining of the attunement of our involvement. And when those clamoring voices arise, insisting something else is more important, demands our attention, necessitates our involvement in it.

[36:24]

Maybe. Bring it here. Notice it. experience discover the medicine young man says the whole world is medicine what is the self what is this persistent passionate arising of being sometimes blatantly obvious, sometimes extraordinarily mysterious. What is it? How is it? Can the ease allow and support a radical attention and honesty and compassion?

[37:38]

karmic being, are there than an almost frantic effort to find happiness on its own terms? And what an amazing opportunity to explore this in detail. To see the ways our habit energy has insisted upon a fixed notion of reality. To see the ways we're habituated to see and acknowledge and to not see and not acknowledge. Can there be

[38:49]

this enlivening of all of our life, of all of our being. How else can the whole world be medicine? How else will we explore the question, what is the self? Inside this new love, die. doesn't beat around the bush inside this new love die your way begins on the other side become the sky take an axe to the prison wall escape walk out like somebody suddenly born into color do it now you're covered with a thick cloud

[39:53]

Slide out the side. Die. And be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign that you've died. Your old life was a frantic running from silence. The moment of pause. as I said, between the inhale and the exhale, but also in the moment of letting sight be seen, in the moment of letting sound be heard, in the moment of hearing the cheeping bird.

[41:00]

whole world becomes the ground of practice, the expression of practice. It's as if the whole world is supporting us to practice, expressing practice. And in the ease, it's not as if precarious thing balanced on a pinhead no it's this and this and this and this this clarity this agitation this cheeping bird the whole world and internally something almost like some things allowed to expand or be spacious or hold tenderly how it's neither of those this is tranquility this is the ease

[42:48]

ease that holds even our disease. The medicine that holds our disease. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[43:31]

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