This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Welcome to Green Gulch. I'm the ones who made the effort to come here on this foggy Mother's Day and welcome... at home on Zoom. Maybe I want to spend the first minute really to acknowledge and celebrate the mothers of this world. Simply because without them we wouldn't be here. So I want to give thanks to all of those who raised children or harried children or who took care of any newborn life on this world.

[01:27]

even if they don't call themselves mother. There is no, there is never enough gratitude we can bring forth. Actually, I copied a very early place in the sutra you might have heard. which reflects this no way of thanking for that or who cared for us and the piece says even if one would carry you referring to mother and father on our shoulder and so doing should live a hundred years anointing kneading bathing and rubbing your limbs and you should even void your excrements on us so we could not repay you i agree and maybe i would add a bathroom break in there it's always good to check

[02:54]

before you make too many gifts. Some of you might not know, but we are here in the middle right now of a four day introductory session. So you're joining actually our last stretch of our session, which goes until noon and started three and a half days ago. and in this introductory session we worked and studied on forms and ceremonies of this school and so um when i thought about how do i summarize what we are doing what came to me is a very old story and you might all know it or most of you. It's the story of the blind man and the elephant.

[04:00]

And the story is actually older than Buddha's time itself. It's buried in the Hindu tradition and before that. And I'd like to read it because it sounds so nice when you read part of the original story. a group of blind men heard that a strange animal called an elephant had been brought to the town. But none of them were aware of its shape and form. Out of curiosity, they said, we must inspect and know it by touch of which we are capable. So they sought it out, and when they found it, they groped about it. The first person whose hand landed on the trunk said, This being is like a thick snake. For another, one whose hand reached its ear, it seemed like a kind of fan.

[05:06]

As for another person whose hand was up on its leg, said, The elephant is a pillar, like a tree trunk. The blind man who placed his hand up on its side said, The elephant is a wall. And another who felt its tail described it as a rope. The last one felt its tusk, stating, the elephant is that which is hard, smooth and like a spear. Up to this point, the story, I just want to give a little bit more credit to these blind people because they're usually not credited. This story seems like They are acting pretty smart. And it reminded me very much to what we do here or did here in Sashin. First, they acknowledged that they are blind, which is maybe a rare thing these days.

[06:11]

Secondly, they used what they are capable of, namely their bodies. And thirdly, they did it together to investigate. And that's all what comes to mind about this Sashin here. And unfortunately, the story has at least some of the versions of the story. There are many, many versions. They have some really nasty ends. So everybody believes, of course, in his... sort of assessment of the elephant and everybody extrapolates just from his assessment about how the whole elephant looks like. And there we have a disaster. And then they got into arguments and I think beat each other up. We didn't do that. And it helps if we have silence here, you know, like we can't talk about the elephant.

[07:18]

Yeah, but what was our elephant, Tien Sashin? I think we did not name an elephant at the beginning. And maybe everybody had his own idea of what sort of elephant they were investigating, especially in Zazen. Some might have called it, you name it, dustness. Some might have called it... called it compassion or love, some enlightenment or emptiness. And instead of using a mesh of all these terms for the future of these talks, I just refer all of this to what... Dogen, our founder in Japan, called the true dragon. And so what did we discover about the true dragon?

[08:31]

I heard some reports. Some felt like it felt like thick space. And others said like it was really deep. and warm and some felt like it was very painful or chatty and others meant like oh it was very chatty so it couldn't be it so there were quite some assumptions here too including myself And our founder warns us in the scripture which we are reading in the morning, where it says, Dear followers of Zen, I make it a bit longer.

[09:37]

I know you're long accustomed for groping for the elephant. But please do not believe that by groping for the elephant, you... the true dragon. Because the tricky part of the true dragon, no matter what name we use, is that we learn from scriptures that it is not graspable, that it is actually not within perception. there's one which we are reading which says, it is not within reach of feeling or discrimination. And another one says like, it is not hidden, but yes, not within perception.

[10:45]

So if it's not within perception, then hey what are we really looking for and how do we meet it how do we make contact with it we need some special techniques and luckily i can tell you we have them here at green gulch just need to sign up for sashim I make a little bit of advertisement here. The techniques are called forms and ceremonies. And that is what we studied here. It's like the form, the forms of bowing, the forms of kinhin, meditative walking,

[11:52]

the forms of oryoki eating traditional meal and the form of chanting service and finally the form of zazen meditation and you might think like yeah but how how does that reach how does that get me in contact with the dragon i'm yearning for and the simple answer is just like dragons love ceremonies it might remind you to a big book title but um And tacos, yes. And why do they love ceremonies?

[13:03]

Because the ceremonies are music in their ears. And what is the music? The music we are doing with the ceremonies is called all-hearted effort. with no goal, with no achievement, here and now. That's what our ceremonies are about. And that's what dragons love. And that is why you can meet them there. come a little bit more towards the topic of the day because this realm of here and now and wholehearted effort we know that realm very well we are very familiar with the realm because that's where we all came from that was the realm

[14:26]

we forgot because our memory doesn't reach that far. It's like the realm when we were in the womb or before, or when we just came out. And in celebration of today, of Mother's Day, and to just what I said, I will read a koan. from the Blue Cliff Record, which is called Chao Chu's newborn baby case. The case is a monk asked Chao Chu, does a newborn baby also have the sixth consciousness? Maybe I just say like the sixth consciousness is the one which comprehends things, is the thinking consciousness. which brings all the senses together and makes sense of all what we sense.

[15:32]

So the question is, does a newborn baby also have the sixth consciousness? Chao Chu said, it's like tossing a ball on a swift flowing water. The monk left and asked Tao Chu, What is the meaning of tossing a ball on swift flowing water? Tao Tzu said, moment to moment, non-stop flow. That's around the baby's eye. And in the commentary of this Blue Cliff Record, which is a compilation of the Of course, a very old one. It says, a person who studies the way must become again like this.

[16:38]

And it goes on and says, like a fool, like an idiot. And I say, like a baby, nonstop flow. This, it goes on, this is the place where petrobed monks, really and truly acquire power. We must become like a person of the way. Must become like this again. And myself, I'm coming from a Christian heritage. It reminds me totally to There is a sentence in the Bible which says, like, if you do not become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

[17:41]

It's interesting that these total spiritual different families just come to this conclusion. We need to become like little children, like babies again, too. realize the true dragon to realize what we want to realize and I think it's obvious what is special with babies and little kids there can't be something more wholehearted if you look at them it's like if a baby cries or loves, or oops. It's just like there is no separation between mind and body. I think if I could make a bow like a baby poop, I would definitely enter the kingdom of heaven.

[18:53]

I think that's how we like to do our ceremonies. That is the space to enter. Why is that so difficult for us adults? It's just I think we learned from when we were small. We just learned to cover everything up with concepts and to learn to make separation. between me and what I'm doing and what is not me. And we get rewards for that all the time when we grow up to make this distinction. Oh, yeah, you pooped in the pot. That's great. And do it again. And nobody says like, oh, you and the pot and the poop and it's not two or three.

[19:58]

So we get these concepts and that's what our whole mind fills up with. It actually doesn't know anything else. All what is known is within these concepts. And that's why it's so difficult for us to enter the realm of flow to enter the realm of... So then how do we get back there? I thought some in Sashin might say like... Well, if we want to become babies again, why do we get up at four o'clock in the morning and then sit until nine in the evening and make this complicated meal setup and all of this stuff? Wouldn't it be great just like to sleep as much as possible and then just scream when you're hungry?

[21:08]

And then somebody comes and serves you food and maybe sings you back to sleep. maybe that would be most popular retreat at ringouts i think i'll bring that to the development department except it would be very staffing intense i think because like you need for for every for every participant you need his own nanny or you could say like you get a reduction and you bring your own mom like B-Y-O mom okay but I don't know if you just say that but I think it's really a good idea if you bring your own mom to Sachin I mean this one

[22:18]

Just to train to enter the flow, to train to enter the world of not knowing might feel pretty uncomfortable and scary. So it's good to have to be that person at the same time who holds when you let your baby loose, who can hold. the space and give the warmth so during during our meditation we are actually fulfilling these both functions i would say now moved a little bit off topic here yeah but back to the question how do we get how do we get to the place of wholeheartedness again How do we get to the place where the dragons live, as Dogen says?

[23:25]

And Dogen makes a direct suggestion in his instruction for the ceremony of Sazen. And that says, Put aside all movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. And learn to take the backward step that turns the light inwardly to illuminate the self. I just want to start with the first part. Put aside all movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. That sounds pretty simple to understand at least. It's pretty difficult to do, maybe you wonder. Gauging of all thoughts and views is not like not having any thoughts and views, but just not to get involved in them, not to steer them up, and maybe not to identify them with them.

[24:37]

That's like non-involvement, not gauging the thoughts and views. But where I want to go is to the second step, where it says, and learn. the backward step that turns the light inwardly to illuminate the self. One way which might come to the mind of some when you hear about like turning the light inwardly to illuminate the self is like what we often do in Zazen and what is recommended. as shamatha practice so-called it's like we instead of bringing our attention or focus or projection on the outside world we bring our attention to our body like to our hara to our mudra

[25:49]

to our legs and knees. And this way we can calm our mind and get peaceful. And I think that is a very, very helpful technique. Some people follow the breath while sitting and other people just are aware of the posture. The nice thing about that teaching is we understand it. We have at least the idea that we can do it because instead of looking outside, yes, even though it feels sometimes tricky to hold it, we can put our attention on our body parts or on some space in the room because that still feels this in. that still feels within what we call perception.

[26:53]

I personally feel like Dogen goes a step beyond that. I would say this shamatha practice, which is highly recommended, is still a forward step, forward in the way that I am looking out inside to myself. Even if I look or study my own thoughts, which I have, it is still something which our illusion of self, whatever that is, feels like doing. And so this is the forward step. But Dogen talks about So how would that look like? And people who know me know that I'm a very practical person, so I brought a tool with me to demonstrate the backward step at the flashlight.

[28:14]

And I just want to show that again. So this way, It's like I can look at things, I can bring my focus out to things to look at them behind me or even at myself. And that is the forward step. But what do I need to do to do the backward step? For the backward step, I need somebody else. I need something else. Is somebody willing to take this flashlight? Maybe I can say please. But then I have to let it go out of my hands. And I'm in no control at all. And... ...realizing this person.

[29:15]

But I have no access... to the perception of this light. This light is not part of what my perception uses, what my senses uses. This light, it might feel a little bit like a deer in the headlight at the beginning because there is nothing, there is nothing I can do to that. It is like, like Dogen writes, Myriad things are realizing this person. This is creating, this is creating this person, myself. And this is the backward step and we can never know that. There is no possibility of knowing this because the knowledge is in the universe but not in this universe.

[30:19]

mind and person and so this backward step requires complete giving up of what we know what we think we can perceive even in the most curved slight way with eighth ninth sense of feeling So this backward step requires giving up all what we learned during our adulthood. And that's where we come again to become like babies and move in the realm of the dragons, of the flow.

[31:26]

of the moment. And to practice that, I'm coming again back. We have a perfect playground setup, a playpen, and we call them forms and ceremonies. Because the forms and ceremonies are ideal, like I mentioned with bowing, to practice things wholeheartedly without getting anything out of them. And that is required to be in the present moment in the flow. Because as soon as you practice things and think you can get something out of it, you will move out of the not knowing into the future or the past or the achievement or anything like that. And that's why this school celebrates so much all these ceremonies and calls our meditation a ceremony of meditation, a ceremony of zazen.

[32:40]

It is not like sitting there and looking out for dragons or elephants and trying to feel how they are, how spacious they are or how warm or how nice or how deep. no because that's again within our perception it's like letting the elephant grope for you that's what we that's what our school teaches about the ceremony of zazen Yeah, I think that's where I stop for now. And I just want to encourage to build yourself a playground, a playpen, where you can let the light, the things, the myriad things, the dragons investigate you.

[33:58]

And the nice thing about that practice is you cannot do anything wrong. There are all these complicated meditation practices or jhana, whatever, which you need to achieve and go there. But with the ceremony of sasen, you can just sit. And if thoughts come up, then the thoughts come up. Let them be investigated by the dragons. Let them be loved. you can make them a gift to them. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click

[35:01]

giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[35:05]

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