This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzz.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Just now, as I was walking over from the abbot's cabin, I had the thought, the greatest sin you can commit in Shashin is thinking that Shashin doesn't last forever and that there's something outside of Shashin. That's what came into my head. Sashin creates this environment of intensity.

[01:20]

And that intensity gives us this wonderful way of seeing the role of self. creating and negotiating existence and this process is always alive no a in its variety of ways and she makes obvious what was always the case we're right in the middle relating to it however we're relating to it. The Jisha and I were standing outside the abbot's cabin upon there and someone came scurrying by.

[02:25]

I won't say they were running but it looked awful close to running. because that would be against the Shingi. But they were scurrying efficiently and effectively. And they just made it to the Zendo before the end of the second round. And then the next day, guess what? The very same person. But now, they were calmer, more deliberate. And they didn't make it before the end of the second round. And the Jisha and I just looked at each other and nodded. As if we can't get ourselves into enough trouble. Shashin gives us a whole new bunch.

[03:28]

of ways to succeed and fail, to comply, to rebel against. I thought yesterday, hmm, looks like some people are considering exercise time, bath time. And I thought, toot, toot. And then later, I thought, you know, second day after yoga, when I was very sweaty, Leslie went to the baths. And I followed her. Maybe the word spread. Did you see what happened? Did you see who went to the baths?

[04:31]

Maybe technically you could say taking a bath is a form of exercise. We are Zen students. We have versatile, adaptive, creative minds. And in our wickedness, we will them, contrive an adaptation that just by coincidence works for us. And all that by way of introducing another coin around the three worlds. And the teaching is pretty straightforward.

[05:45]

Don't get stuck in any one of them. And whatever one of them arises, relate to it just as it is. Don't get busy making it something else. you know the self in Jesus am I you know self employing and enjoying somebody the self has no object everything that arises is this conditioned existence Whether we get before the end of the second round or we don't. Whether we decide to efficiently scurry or walk mindfully. Whether we say, taking a bath is exercise or we don't.

[06:49]

The talker will have more to say at work meeting. This is a constructed world. This is a consensual set of agreements and orderly conduct that we have brought up for ourselves. And within it, the taste, the see, the feel, the unconditioned. So here's two poems. a little bit out of season but it has a great punchline so the snowman one must have the mind of winter to regard the frost and the boughs of the pine trees crusted with snow that have been cold for a long time to behold the juniper shagged with ice and the spruces

[08:00]

rough in the distant glitter of the January sun, and not to think of any misery in the sound of the wind, in the sound of a few leaves, which is the sound of the land full of the same wind that is blowing in the same bare place. For the listener who glistens in the snow and nothing himself beholds nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. And the listener who listens in the snow and nothing himself beholds nothing that is not there, not adding anything, beholds nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. world of just form without the commentary the premises or the conclusions the associated memories beholds nothing that is not there and the nothing that is so

[09:35]

Another world. That was Wallace Stevens. And this is the one and only Billy Collins. It was kind of a surprise when Billy Collins was made the poet laureate, because his poems are so whimsical, comical. At the end you think, that was a poem? But it was kind of fun. Yeah. That's Billy Collins. The dead are always looking down on us. They say, while we're putting on our shoes and making a sandwich, they're looking down through glass-bottomed boats in heaven as they row themselves slowly through eternity. They watch the tops of our heads moving below on earth, and when we lie down in a field or on the couch, drugged perhaps by the hum of the warm afternoon,

[10:40]

They think we're looking back up at them, which makes them lift their oars and fall silent and wait like parents for us to close our eyes again. Imaginative whimsy. But it's so much fun to make up something. The metaphor about nothing. Something in us finds within it an avenue of expression. way of relating.

[11:41]

Which of those two worlds upholds the Dharma? The nothing that is not there? Or the proposition that people are up there row in their rowboats, rowing through eternity? looking down through the glass bottoms. A monk asked Dong-chan. He said, well, having heard those two poems before they were written, having heard those two poems, that Which of the three worlds do you abide in? And Deng Shan said, I stay close to that.

[12:52]

What's happening now? It doesn't say, how do I make that happen now? How do I fix what's happening now? What should be happening now? What would I prefer wasn't happening now? But it doesn't include those questions either. Because there's nothing outside of what is. Stay close to that. In Sanskrit, the word for touch, contact, it's a beautiful word.

[14:05]

It's like if you press your hand in contact, even though there's more pressure There's less detail, there's less information, there's less appreciation for the arising sensations of contact. Two monks who went on, I think it was Gangto and Yangshan. Yangshan had a good mind for the propositions of Zen and had like an easy manner around practice.

[15:11]

And they were on pilgrimage together. And Gangto was very determined. Every night, he would sit up late meditating. And young Shan would chide him. What's your problem? What are you trying to get? What do you think that's going to get you? What's wrong with right now? In some ways, very tender dialogue. And then they both moved on and became famous teachers. Yangshan quite quickly and Ganto later in his life. Whichever or however your personal inclination.

[16:24]

Despite your best efforts. I'm going to steer this middle course. Not too tight, not too loose. Not frivolous, not deadly serious. Of course we all want to do that. But your way will sneak in. Cut a few corners here and there, just despite yourself. But can there be a commitment that draws them into awareness? Whether you're running to the zendo to beat the end of the second round or whether you're walking mindfully.

[17:33]

Can there be just this is it? Whether this mind is caught up in there's somewhere to go, some way to be. There is a definite success and a definite failure. Or there's the reminders, being nobody, going nowhere. Can we stay close enough that they both what is. I often think that the Zen material assumes a lot.

[18:42]

It assumes well of course you're totally committed. Of course you got in there and wrestled with directed effort, directed attention. Exploring the yogic involvement in experiencing body and breath, attending to mind states and noticing the arising contents. you've explored receptive attention. Attending to whatever arises with an open mind that's not simply fixated on what needs to happen or not happen.

[19:50]

you've explored the interplay each time you sit down now what what is appropriate engagement with this body and mind right now and of course You've had those moments in your practice, where your practice grabs you by the scruff of the neck and shakes you like you're a rag doll. Sometimes in the depth of our practice, it's like, how do you breathe? What is it I'm supposed to be doing? Am I concentrated or really distracted?

[20:54]

Is my left leg really falling off or is that just a notion that's in my mind? And then the bell rings and you stand up and magically this world has come back into existence. Look at that. Here it is. I sometimes think that's the starting place that these teachers are saying. Well, yeah, we've all done that. Who hasn't been grabbed by the scruff of the neck and given a good shake? Once when I was a monk in Thailand, the teacher went away, which is usually a big relief.

[22:06]

It's a fantastic teacher, but things were a little looser when he went away. So it was always a collective. This night, the tanto decided, I guess because he thought, well, I'm a big boy. I can have an all-night sitting. And of course, my tie was so absolutely abysmal, I didn't get the message. But I got the looks on other people's faces. It's like, this doesn't look good. LAUGHTER But I remember part of me thinking, but maybe it's just like, I don't know, the teacher's not coming back for a month or something. And they're pretending to look like that's a problem.

[23:11]

I'd always start those all-night sittings with a great fervor, you know. This is the real way. This is what Shakyamuni would have done. This is like... But I tell you, after a couple of hours, that fervor was getting pretty thin. After a couple more hours, it was so gone. Desperation was the order of the moment. And then in the depths of the night, And of course, I didn't understand a word. I understood one word, and I thought, that word sounded like Fanta. And then out of nowhere, this was out in the forest, out of nowhere, a crate of Fanta. And the Fantas passed around, and we all drank Fanta.

[24:27]

I remember sitting there thinking, life is truly strange. And everybody's sitting there with a silly grin on their face, including the tanto. And we drank our fanta. Unfortunately, we had to sit again after that, but at least. We had interjected some flavor of the absurd into the precious. The human consciousness and what it's capable of is extraordinary.

[25:40]

But we really do feel obliged to put it in the ordinary. In some ways we could say, the container of the Shingi, the container of the monastery, the container of Sashin, holds this unbounded human existence that each of us expresses. And then at this part, in this never-ending sasheen, to watch, where does consciousness go? What arises? Am I suddenly intrigued by the notion of all the dead up there in glass bottom boats?

[26:45]

Or am I diligently attending to the phenomena of the moment, apprehending nothing that is not there? being aware of awareness when it's there in such a way that even the creation of something is just seen as a process you know at this Practice has seeped into our bones, into our breath, and into our state of mind.

[27:55]

The capacity to stay close. Now, the capacity to leap out of Shishin into some other strange glass bottom boat is still there too. But just expand Shashin to hold that too. It can hold every glass bottom boat you can come up with. What's happening now? Utterly intrigued with the exact itinerary of my interim vacation. Right down to what I'm going to eat lunch on the second day. Eat for lunch.

[29:01]

Or whatever it is, you know. We're all amazing. And we're all more than a little bizarre, too. the world of desire and aversion. But I think it sells it short if you don't allow Billy Collins to be part of your artistic director. A little whimsy, not to be indulgent, That's what the mind creates. That's what the mind creates. Say yes to everything.

[30:04]

It doesn't mean wallow in it. In the yes, experience as fully as possible. lost in the storyline because that can go on and become the never-ending story experience something closer to the feeling of it the state of mind of it On one side, don't indulge it. On the other side, don't be afraid of it.

[31:04]

Don't be so quick to remedy, to fix, to suppress. The Satipatthana Sutta just says, notice, notice, notice. Notice when it's coming up. Notice when it's abiding. Notice when it's going away. Notice what's next. We stay close to that state of mind. Because nothing's outside of shishin. We stay close to the phenomena when they come through too. This morning, just as the light was coming, there was a particular bird that I hadn't noticed before.

[32:23]

my attention. What a beautiful phrase. Caught my attention. And in my experience was it was like this zing. Pleasant, almost exhilarating. Just a little bird calling. The phenomena just come forth. in the area. We're close by. We're available. And part of the charm of the soto way or nothing special way is it doesn't feel such a big deal. It's not as concentrated as that time when I was sitting and

[33:37]

I really got into my breath and my body started to feel like a warm current of sensation. No, maybe it's not as concentrated as that. But it is what it is. It's still one of the three bodies, still one of the three realms of being. it's not it's really kind of boring you know okay it's not Christmas it's not you know we're not in Bermuda you know but where does that leave you know just yes this willingness to

[34:39]

to experience what is, even though before it arrives, you don't know. It invites a kind of permission. It invites a kind of ease. It invites a trust. this very mind is Buddha this very mind that I sometimes arrogantly call me I sometimes filled with shame called me I sometimes filled with tenacity called me This very mind is Buddha.

[35:42]

And as Dogen Zenji says, and in that doing, we forget the me. In hearing the early morning bird, we forget the important work of it's all about me. In the steadiness of the soto way, just, yeah, so what? No big deal. That's right, no big deal. But in its steadiness, in its now this, now this, something The other day, when Coman forgot to go around to hit the dance hall, we didn't collectively get annoyed or critical.

[36:58]

It was like a little auditory joke. No words, just signs. Ah! Chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk-chuk. Thank you. That usual critical mind that leaps forward declaring good and bad. Forgotten. more lighthearted. Just, where's the problem?

[38:10]

Which of the three realms, I stay close to that. torture yourself. Which realm is this? Is this formless or form or the karma of habituated constructs? That's just staying separate and staying in the world of abstract thought. Leaping in to experience. experience of this. It's like discovering from the inside what it is. As Dogen's engine says, when it's experienced, it will declare what is.

[39:12]

It will illuminate how self is or isn't arising in that moment. The mind doesn't have to stay busy manufacturing meaning and understanding and declaring right and wrong. So not to say, cast aside, now we're all big boys and big girls. With the same utter humility in beginner's mind, we come back to the basics. But maybe we can come back to the basics with less baggage. With a kind of simplicity.

[40:26]

Simplicity in which adding nothing that's not there feels, well, of course, just this is it. Why does it need to be different? Why does it need something added or subtracted? I'm watching the nature of our human consciousness. Our propensity for adjectives. In half a second, a bird call is declared present, pleasant and present. And there's a response to that declaration.

[41:39]

and that this is unfolding all the time situation large and small we are bringing forth being alive Just staying close. And it's twin brother. Or maybe it's a twin sister. Non-abiding. This arises and it is what it is.

[42:46]

And then, guess what? the next thing happens. A kind of permission for things to be impermanent. That saying yes to experience is to touch lightly. like when you touch a surface with your fingertips and you feel its temperature and its texture. This is the touch, the contact that yes, affords, brings forth. It's not, you know,

[43:53]

In the early canon, there's touch, there's grasping, there's clinging. It's a wonderful graphic. You touch it, you grasp it, you cling to it. It's mine. Don't dare try to take it away. Or, I want it to be mine, you know, the grasping. I want to have it forever. instructing our being in a certain kind of likeness it's instructing our being in a certain kind of non attachment don't worry this is not the last thing you're ever going to think of you're going to come up with another thought in less than a second

[45:00]

It's not the last experience you're ever going to have. Until it is. But chances are right now it's not. And these three worlds co-mingle. And they invite us into this territory that Dogen loves to talk about. Where the self is less of a bully. Or a demanding nag. I want this. I don't want that. And more just this extraordinarily

[46:03]

imaginative event that keeps unfolding illustrating demonstrating what it is to be alive and extraordinarily inclining us more towards lightheartedness, more towards humor, more towards a kind of wonder, wonder. Maybe wander too, but wonder was the word I wanted out of my mouth. Beginner's mind. Let me just end with Wallace Stevens' punchline and Billy Collins.

[47:13]

For the listener who listens in the snow, in the sun. For the listener who listens in the snow and nothing herself beholds nothing that is not there. the nothing that is. The dead are always looking down on us, they say, when we're putting on our shoes or making a sandwich. They're looking down through the glass-bottom boats of heaven as they row themselves slowly through eternity. They watch the tops of our heads moving below on earth, And when we lie down in a field or on a couch, drugged perhaps by the hum of a warm afternoon, they think we're looking back up at them, which makes them lift their oars and fall silent and wait, like parents, for us to close our eyes.

[48:30]

mind can conjure up. Paul Ekman says our emotions can be as brief as two seconds. Flicker. In a fraction of a second, we respond to the perception and we respond to the response. Dong Shan says, I always stay close to this. When it's busy, when it's quiet,

[49:41]

when it's complicated, when it's startlingly simple. As you leave after lecture and walk, your cabin or wherever else you want to go, what will you think? What will you notice? What physical sensations? Will your mind stay rooted in now or defiantly leap to some other imagined time? feel a deep gratitude for the Dharma or would you feel a deep restlessness oh my god I wish this was all over who can tell nobody

[51:16]

Amazing. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[51:51]

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