Good morning. My feeling is that the sense of practice, what practice is about, Buddhist practice, Zen Buddhist practice, Zen Buddhist practice, Soto Zen Buddhist practice,

[01:09]

Soto Zen Buddhist practice in the tradition of Suzuki Roshi. That what that's about is actually pretty simple, pretty straightforward. The trick is, the difficult part is, to actually practice it. That's the tough part. The fundamental guiding principles are pretty simple and straightforward, but we find it pretty difficult to do. I'm giving the Dharma talk this morning with the help of a flying creature who may or may not know that this is a Dharma talk, but is nevertheless expounding the Dharma talk.

[02:43]

That's the particular dharma this being has to offer us. Oh yeah, okay. I hear it. I'll try to pay attention. So... In another way, the teaching is very complicated and subtle and vast, like the ocean, with many secret places and dark places and unusual creatures. But, like the ocean, the ocean is, in one way, the ocean is very complicated, in another way, the ocean is a bunch of water. It's water.

[03:47]

So similarly, the fundamental basic principles of our practice, I think, are pretty simple and straightforward. The difficult to practice and perhaps most difficult to practice when we most need them When we most need to practice the Dharma is the time that it's hardest to do so. That's what I find. So this morning I want to talk about some of these fundamental principles, just a couple of them. And what encourages our practice of them. what helps us to practice these fundamental principles, and what gets in the way of doing so. So that's one thing I want to try to address.

[04:56]

The other thing, another aspect, is something that's very much been on my mind, been in my heart, which many of you know about, and some of you who were here last Sunday heard Linda mention that our dear friend and teacher Steve Stuckey, who's one of the abbots of San Francisco Zen Center, a short while ago to two weeks ago tomorrow, which is just a short while. But as is often the case in this kind of thing, a short while feels like a long time, a long time ago.

[06:02]

A week ago, last Monday, he received a diagnosis pretty much out of the blue, not completely out of the blue, but pretty much out of the blue of terminal cancer. So this has been on my mind a great deal, carrying this, as many of us are, with our Dharma brother, Steve. This is very serious and impactful news for Steve, of course, and for his family, his wife, Lane, and his daughter, an adopted daughter, and son, and grandchildren, and for all of us who have practiced with him for many years and known him for many years.

[07:33]

A particular bond that Steve and I share is that in 1993, he and me and Paul Haller all received Dharma Transmission together at Tassahara from Sojin Mel Weitzman. So we went through that gate together. So in this, since this news has come, I can't help but notice that Steve's response, and I'll say more detail about it later, but just to say that his response is coming from foundation of deep practice.

[09:08]

Practice understanding. Where the rubber meets the road. His practice is coming forth in his speech and actions. This is not theoretical. This is not an idea of practice. This is the real thing, actual, actually coming forth. And this is not some premeditation.

[10:20]

This is not, oh, I should respond to this in a Zen way. That's a bunch of baloney. Rather, it's, I don't know what to call it, cellular. perhaps. Suzuki Roshi used to speak about practice our way as like walking through the fog. It's like walking through the fog, which is a particularly apt metaphor for Northern California in general and Green Gulch Farm in particular. Not today at all. Today is a bright and shining day, but as many of you know, sometimes it is, it's kind of unbelievably foggy here.

[11:33]

Like at nighttime, you know, driving Highway 1. It's not literally that you, I mean, thank goodness you can see a little bit further than the hand in front of your face, but And sometimes, you know, I cycle, I bike, I bicycle up over this road and back at night sometimes. And when you're in Mill Valley, you would never know what's waiting for you. Once you get over the ridge, you get over the ridge and it's like soup. I have my lights, my red lights in the back and my white light in front flashing. And I wear a very bright, the color of the vest that I wear is called Scream Yellow. It's the name of the color. A little bit different than my current outfit.

[12:33]

It says Scream Brown. No, it's not screaming too much. Scream Yellow. Anyway, Suzuki Roshi said, so it's like walking through the fog So after you walk through the fog for a while, you notice that your clothes are soaking wet. You didn't do anything to make that happen. You didn't try. You just got soaked. That's the feeling of practice. We should get soaked in Zen practice. And Steve's response, I feel, is the result of being totally immersed without trying to be. So I want to speak more about that also.

[13:42]

And I'll start, as I often do, with a quotation from Suzuki Roshi. This is from, excuse me, the fourth, maybe it's the fourth or the fifth section, chapter of Not Always So. The one that Ed Brown gave the title to, Jumping Off the Hundred Foot Pole. because Suzuki Roshi talks about jumping off the 100-foot pole, which is a story, an old Zen story, about how there's this guy at the top of the 100-foot pole, and what should I do? Jump off. And Suzuki Roshi goes on to say, we're always at the top of a 100-foot pole. In fact, there isn't any 100-foot pole. It's an infinite pole. but that's not the part I was going to talk about.

[14:46]

The part I was going to say was these lines. Here they are. Continuous practice is necessary. Just to have a generous mind, big mind, soft mind, is how we continue our way. to be flexible, not sticking to anything. So we could soak in those words of Suzuki Roshi's, continuous practice is necessary. Just to have generous mind and big mind And soft mind is how we continue our way to be flexible, not sticking to anything.

[15:56]

So I want to speak about just and I want to speak about continue. Suzuki Roshi says, Just to have generous mind, big mind, soft mind is how to continue the way. Just do that. So I think just points in two directions. One is just do that. But it's actually hard to do. It's hard to have a generous mind and a soft mind and a big mind. It's very difficult. I think so, anyway. And it's very difficult when we are confronted with circumstances. Big circumstances make it harder to do this.

[17:07]

So that's one way I understand just. Just have generous mind, big mind, soft mind also means just do that. That is not some big deal. It's not some extraordinary state of mind that, you know, the light comes and they talk about the bottom falling out of the bucket, the bottom doesn't fall out of the bucket none of this stuff happens you know it's just it's not so fancy just be generous we all know what that means just be generous have a big mind be magnanimous magnanimous big great soft don't be rigid don't be stuck don't be like that This is pretty simple, pretty straightforward. That's how we continue our way.

[18:15]

We don't have to do some extraordinary thing. We don't have to have some extraordinary state of mind that's suddenly going to clarify the universe for us forever. Just be generous. Just open-hearted. Just full-hearted. True-hearted. Is the way that we continue our way. So that's the other word, continue. How we continue our way. Continuous practice is necessary. Continue correlates with this meaning of just. This not fancy, practiced, practice, practice, practical meaning of generous and big and soft mind.

[19:24]

This is what needs to be continued. Continuing our way is the way. So when you're walking through the fog, the point is not where you're getting to. The point is getting soaked. That's the practice. This is continuing our way. So this way capital W, small w, in between w. This way, this way is not something we get. It's not something we have. It's not something we possess.

[20:26]

It's not something we obtain. It's not something we attain. We say attain the way, but it doesn't mean attain the way. It means continue the way. In fact, if we think we've attained the way, if we have some idea of attaining, of obtaining, of possessing, that's losing the way when we've lost it. So the feeling of practice is to continue, continue it. I was reminded, when I was thinking about this, I was reminded of our ordination ceremony. In the ordination ceremony, the ordination or initiation, part of it is receiving and agreeing to the precepts.

[21:33]

That's part of what the ceremony entails. And there are these different sets of precepts that make up the 16 bodhisattva precepts. And with each of these section of precepts, with each of these groups of precepts, the person says, yes, I will follow these precepts. They repeat the precepts. And then three times, the person who's conveying the precepts says, even after attaining Buddhahood, continuously observe them? Will you continuously observe them? And the scripted line for the person is, yes, I will. But we hope it's not just a script. Even after attaining Buddhahood,

[22:36]

so-called, even after so-called attaining so-called Buddhahood, will you continuously observe them? Yes, I will. So our way doesn't have any end. There isn't some end point to get to. But with this sense of continue, it helps us. It encourages us to fully meet our life. And to not be fooled by things. To fully meet our life and to not be fooled by things.

[23:46]

Things means not just things, not just material things, but ideas and beliefs and prejudgments and to not be fooled by things. To not be fooled by what we think. This is the point of practice. In a simple way. In a simply stated, the point of practice is to not be fooled by things and to fully meet our life. And this sense of continuously practicing generosity and big heartedness and soft helps us, promotes this way, this meeting, supports us in meeting our life.

[24:53]

Meeting our life fully seems to always includes and seems to necessitate the willingness to meet death and loss and suffering. To fully meet our life We need to be able to. We need to be supported to meet these areas where we constrict due to fear. You know, when we're anxious, our hands get cold. That's because the blood vessels constrict. Not so much blood.

[26:06]

going there. And also, when we're anxious, we get less blood up here too. That's why I've noticed if I'm anxious, sometimes I'll look at somebody who I've known for decades and not be able to remember their name. Now, Sometimes, even when I'm not anxious. Even when I'm not anxious, I look at somebody who I've known for decades and I'm not able to remember their name. But that's a different story. That's different, too. That's happening, too. But anyway, when we're anxious, our blood vessels constrict, so we can't think so. We don't think so well when we're frightened. And it's under these circumstances, this is not an exhaustive list, but this covers a lot of the territory.

[27:12]

Death, loss, suffering, fear. It's under these circumstances that we draw back. And it's under these circumstances that our practice encourages us to Go forward and meet fully our life. Fully means not constricted. Not based on some small, hard, ungenerous idea. So I wanted to say some specific things that have happened in the last couple of weeks.

[28:32]

A week ago Monday, two weeks ago tomorrow, a number of us received an email from Steve Stuckey. He's one of the abbots. He's been one of the abbots of the Zen Center for, I think it's about six or eight years now. And in a way, very characteristic of him. He's very, my, I think of Steve as like a tractor. very stable and moves forward like a tractor.

[29:40]

So he wrote and said that he had seen a Dr. Jang, I think his name was Jang, And Dr. Jang had said that Steve had stage four pancreatic cancer. And that he might live for three to six months more. And in the email, in that email, He expressed his love, actually, for all of those to whom he was writing, to all of us. And he also added two quotations.

[30:45]

One is from Dogen, Zen Master Dogen. To what shall I liken this life? Moonlight on dew drops. Excuse me. Moonlight in dew drops, shaken from a crane's bill. That's pretty powerful. To what shall I like in this life? Moonlight in dewdrops shaken from a crane's bill.

[31:52]

And he also quoted another person whose name is Blind Lemon Jefferson. Steve's a blues, a fan of the blues. And Blind Lemon Jefferson was a blues singer in the early part of the 20th century. Probably, I don't know too much about him, but maybe a precursor of Muddy Waters. who was a precursor of the Rolling Stones. Who was a precursor of somebody else. So the quotation from Blind Lemon Jefferson was, is, I got troubles in my mind, Lord, I think I'm fixin' to die.

[32:56]

I got troubles in my mind, Lord, I think I'm fixing to die. Well, I don't mind dying, but I hate to leave my children crying. So, I wanted to share that with you all. And Steve gave a talk last Wednesday, a week ago Wednesday, here in the evening. And he spoke about a practice that he had, that he had taken up recently, which was that every morning he would wake up He wakes up and sits on the edge of his bed, puts his hands in gasho and says, gratitude.

[34:05]

This is how we continue our way. This is generous mind, big mind, and soft mind. And Steve was, some of you know that there was a big fire at Tassajara, not last summer, but what was it, six years ago? There was a forest fire and Steve was one of what became known as the Tassajara Five, which was at the last possible opportunity as people were, what's that called? Evacuated, being evacuated from Tassajara at the last possible opportunity on the ridge up above Tassajara

[35:21]

Well, if you go past here, you can't turn back. He decided he was going to turn back. And four other people joined him. So there were five people at Tassahara when the forest fire came through. And fortunately, things worked out okay. There had been wonderful preparations made. Tassara was very wet, like walking through the fog, very wet. So the fire was not attracted to it. But of course, if you're

[36:23]

You know, that's really something. To decide to turn back because there's a forest fire coming and to try to meet the fire. So at that Dharma talk a week ago Wednesday, Steve compared meeting the cancer to meeting the fire. The fire will do what the fire will do. And we have no control over it. Maybe a little control. Actually then, with that fire at that place, no control. The cancer will do what the cancer will do. Then our job

[37:26]

I can't remember now if I'm paraphrasing Steve or if this is my thoughts on it. And I think it's what he said. And then our job is to take care of, you know, in the 12-step world, they say, take care of your side of the street, you know. Then our job is to take care of this side, this side that's engaged with the world, that's engaged with the fire, that's engaged with The cancer. That's how we continue our practice, to take care of this side of things. Not so much trying to, you know. When it's possible, if advisable, we should take care of the other side of the street. But sooner or later, there's just this side. This is meeting the world fearlessly.

[38:38]

Not trying to dominate our environment. Not trying to dominate and not escaping. Those are our two usual ways. Out of fear, we either try to run away or if I'm going to stay, I want to be in charge. very understandable that we would respond that way. In some sense, I feel like this is our human, this is our gene pool, you know. We want to continue to survive, and to survive, we want to continue to be safe. Those Those are the people that we are the descendants of, the ones who were successful in figuring that out.

[39:43]

And as a result of that impulse toward security and safety, we try to run away to, you know, where things are going to be easy. Or if we have to stay here, then we're going to dominate the situation. The problem with this is that the world, the universe, doesn't cooperate. The universe has other ideas. So at some point or another, we run into a conflict where we meet the world. Actually, it happens all the time.

[40:48]

It's just sometimes it's more higher relief. We see it more clearly. with quite respectfully, I offer Steve's response as an example, as an instance, as an encouragement to fully meeting the world. and not being fooled by things. As an encouragement to continue our own way.

[41:54]

Maybe I'll stop there. Okay, thank you. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[42:41]

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