This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I'd like to bring up today the... teachings that meet our life, that meet our life of birth and death, the life that we all share, that we're all living, living out. So for those of you, many of you probably don't know, but there was a very sad event that happened in the community just a couple days ago where a student who's been practicing at Zen Center in Tassajara and City Center now took his life.

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And I'm not going to talk about our dear friend David Cody. I'm not going to bring up his... wild and wicked sense of humor and great intelligence and how much he'll be missed and how shocking and sad it is for each of us. I won't talk about that specifically, but all of us have had this kind of shock. know someone or have lived through this. And so this has been on my mind for the last few days, and I want to make an effort to meet this with you this morning. So one of the Buddhist teachings is that there are six realms, six realms of existence, and

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Each of the realms has a particular quality and one enters the realm through one's own actions and causes and conditions. And each of the realms have Buddhas and Bodhisattvas teaching and expounding the Dharma, expounding the teaching. And everyone in the realms can hear the teaching and but they may not be able to practice the teaching due to the difficulties of the realms. And some of the realms, the difficulty is that it's so comfortable and easy and pleasant that it's hard to hear about birth and death and suffering and challenging situations because the realm that you might be in is so easy and smooth.

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It's hard to have those other subjects get much traction. And other realms are difficult because you're suffering so much and in so much mental, emotional, or physical pain that the teaching can come in, you can hear it, but you may not be able to actually take it up. And one of those realms, the quality of the realm, is that even though you're surrounded by sustenance and nourishment and support and love, you're not able to receive it, take it in. It turns into something else that gets changed. transmuted into other materials that are unable to be digested and metabolized.

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So even with all the love and support that we may surround someone with for unfathomable reasons and ancient twisted reasons, twisted meaning just entangled and confused, A person may not be able to hear and do anything about it or receive. And we have great remorse about this, great regrets, especially when someone takes their life. Regrets that, you know, could we have done more? Could we have said something, the magic something? Could we have spent more time? Could we have listened better? The word regret, the etymology of the word regret is to lament and to, the way we use it to regret is to feel some loss or sadness about not doing something or missing something.

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And the etymology is to lament, to moan, to sob is the word regret. So we have our regrets that we may carry for our entire life. And I have been thinking about somebody that I knew in high school who took her life. And the day before, she said to me, I have something I have to talk with you about. And we never got together. We didn't find the time. I didn't find the time. That's the regret. This is now over 50 years ago, and this comes up, you know, over and over. You know, a missed opportunity. Could I have done something? Said something? So this great matter of birth and death is...

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right in the center of our practice life. It is not a side issue. Those of you who know the percussion instrument that is struck before zazen, the han, the wooden board, says right on it, birth and death is the great matter. And there's different translations, but our life is... gone in an instant. Don't waste time. And of course we forget this. This isn't, is this, that's a question, is this in the forefront? Are we carrying this on our shoulder and And how do we live in a life of impermanence and loss that is unable to be stopped?

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There's a wonderful story about Katagiri Roshi in Minnesota, asked to give a talk to a group of people that the Zen Center there wanted him to, they wanted to promote the Minneapolis Zen Center, and so they invited university professors and people from the Art Institute, the walker, to meet the Zen master and to give a talk, and they were really hoping he would speak about, you know, koans or, you know, something, Zen, Zen-y. And it was kind of a fancy afternoon tea with white tablecloths and china and cookies. And when it was time for Katagiri Roshi to speak, he got up in front of the crowd and he said, you're all going to die. That was his opening remarks. And what I was told was the teacup sort of froze in midair.

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Have we come to the wrong place? But I think of this now as being infinitely compassionate of Kadigiri Roshi, looking at this crowd and feeling, what is the most important thing to bring up here? The matter, the great matter. And he didn't shy away from telling it like it is. You're all going to die. We're all going to die. We all are dying this moment, each moment. How are we going to live this out together? There's a koan that brings this up that I have been turning over the years and want to turn again this morning.

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It's called Dao Wu's Condolence Call. And it's Case 55 in the Blue Cliff Record, Dao Wu's Condolence Call. And the word condolence is, you know, with dolore, with pain, to be with someone in pain. Just before I... the Zen story I just returned last week from Southern California where there was a memorial service for my mother-in-law Doris Weintraub who died a year ago and the family the immediate family gathered with children grandchildren and great-grandchildren for the unveiling or the uncovering of her marker her stone marker

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And each of us brought a stone, which is a traditional Jewish tradition of placing a stone on the grave site. And we happened to have stones that we brought from Tassajara, little ones from the creek. And everyone had stones, and the children placed their stone. And the mark was covered with stones. And the stone has a... It has a durability to it that will last longer than flowers or even a living plant. And the tradition is you contribute to making the marker, to making the monument. You add to it and show you've been there and you've remembered and missed and celebrated. person's life and you leave the stone and I think one of the highlights of the weekend which was this family reunion we were watching home movies of Doris when she was very young and when her children were small she died at 95 and then her 90th birthday party and

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to hear the voice again and see her express her deep love for her family and for people to express their love for her. So it felt very complete, the weekend. So this story, The Condolence Call, has two... Dao Wu and his student, Xian Yuan. These are Chinese Zen masters. This is about in the 800s. And they were called to a house to make a condolence call and probably do ceremony, memorial service. And the coffin was in the house. So Dao Wu and Xian Yuan went to the house and went to the coffin.

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And Dao Wu was the teacher, Yuan, Xian Yuan was the student, and he hit the coffin with his hand and he said, is it alive or is it dead? And Dao Wu said, I won't say alive and I won't say dead. And Yuan said, why won't you say? And the teacher said, won't say, won't say. So then they left the house, and they're walking back to the monastery, and Yuan wanted to know the answer. And he said again to his teacher, tell me whether it's alive or dead or I'm going to hit you. And Dao Wu said, you can hit me as much as you want. I won't say. I won't say. And Shen Yuan hit his teacher.

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So when they got back to the monastery, Dao Wu said, I think the head monk, the Shusou, is going to really be in trouble. So he secreted him off and told him to leave before he got in trouble with the monastic. about hitting the abbot, you know, hitting the teacher. So while Shen Yuan was away, he was wandering, walking, and he came to a shrine, he came to a small temple where a workman was at the temple chanting the 25th chapter of the Lotus Sutra. sometimes called the Guanyin Sutra, the Avalokiteshvara Sutra, the Regarder of the Cries of the World Sutra. This chapter of the Lotus Sutra kind of stands alone and is chanted, actually, in Zen temples all over. So it's the word, this bodhisattva, or enlightenment being, is named, the name of this bodhisattva is

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Regarder of the cries of the world. The one who hears the cries of the world. So he walked by this small temple, this small shrine temple, and there's this workman chanting the 25th chapter of the Lotus Sutra. And in this chapter of the Lotus Sutra, there's a particular part where it says, over and over and over, If you need to be saved in the body of a monk or in the body of Buddha, or if you need to be saved in the body of a businesswoman, if you need to be saved in the body by the body of a child, regardless of the cries of the world will come in the body of a child and relieve your suffering. If you need to be saved in the body of a... baseball player, regardor of the cries of the world, will come in that body and relieve your suffering.

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For those who need someone in the body of a Buddha, regardor of the cries of the world, appears in that way for you and teaches the Dharma for you. And over and over it names all these different possibilities. Because compassion, regardless of the cries of the world, bodhisattva is the embodiment of infinite compassion. And whatever one needs, whatever form one needs, that bodhisattva will take that form. And when Shen Yuan heard this chanting, for those who need compassion, to be saved in a particular way. She will come and appear in that body. And as he heard this, he was greatly enlightened. And he understood the great compassion of his teacher.

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And he said, at that time, I was wrongly suspicious of my teacher. how was I to know that this affair isn't in words and phrases? So when he asked that question, I've been turning this, you know. He was deeply suspicious of his teacher. What did he think? He asked his teacher a question about life and death, about this being that's in front of them. Is it alive or is it dead? And his teacher won't say, and he won't say, And I think when he says, I was suspicious, why would he say? He might have thought, well, he's keeping something from me. He's holding on to the teaching. He's keeping his cards close to his chest. He's not going to reveal this answer for me. And I can't stand it. And, you know, he got very upset enough to strike his teacher.

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And actually it says his teacher... dripped blood. So he really hit his teacher out of great anger and frustration and also being suspicious of him. How dare you keep the teaching from me? So in the commentary, every time that Dao Wu says, I won't say, it says, I won't say, the commentary is, with great tender kindness, he said, I won't say. And then again, when he's asked and doesn't say, it says, his heart was bared entirely. I won't say. And after he was hit, the commentary says, Dao Wu was dripping with blood like this to help him. How is it that great compassion, tenderheartedness, infinite kindness, dripping blood in order to help someone, how is it that it looks like that?

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His teacher... lived out the truth of our birth and death is the great matter. He was the living teaching for his student. And even to protect himself from the ire, he wasn't going to throw him some candy. It's too important. It's the great matter. What is our life? What is our death? What is birth and death? And if you fall into, well, it's this, or it's this, what is the loss there for the student to realize himself? The Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, after his great enlightenment,

[22:23]

was asked many times about death and what happens after death and what can we expect and what is it. And these were questions that he wouldn't answer either. I don't know if he said, won't say, won't say. I think it was noble silence actually, noble silence. And what he said was, I teach the relief of suffering. I teach about suffering and the relief of suffering. And he wouldn't get caught or allow people to get caught in conjecture and how about this and what if. I teach suffering about suffering and the relief of suffering. And he taught, this was his compassionate, tender-hearted, bearing his heart to help people toot. So this great matter is what might have turned you to practice yourself the loss of someone or regret or fear about these very matters.

[23:59]

And feeling there must be some practice, there must be some teaching that addresses this, there must be some way I can live out the reality of this in clarity and peace without fear. In the priest ordination ceremony, there's a line that says, only the mind of a bodhisattva can cut through this drifting, wandering life and take the path of peace or the path of nirvana. This virtue cannot be defined. This virtue cannot be defined. We can't grasp it in or conceptualize it in hold it in words and phrases.

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We have to live it out. Only the mind of a bodhisattva. The bodhisattva is one who makes this vow, and that vow becomes the center, the center most activating, innermost to the marrow of principle and also helps us with all fears this vow to live for the benefit of beings to help beings even if it means I think in this case you know he knew this student very well and he was willing Dawu was willing to go that far I don't think it's to go that far in every circumstance by any means. But the intimacy between them and the trust allowed him to even let his student hit him.

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I don't think that's, it's not something I'm recommending. But we can go pretty far with people. Sometimes with children when they yell at us or have a tantrum and kick and, you know, We just hold them with this mind of tender kindness. So only the mind of a bodhisattva can cut through this drifting, wandering life. This is the mind of compassion. What else can we offer? We can't offer answers. how did this come to be? How come? Why, if only, will just entangle us further? There's no answer. There's a poem by Ryokan, the Japanese poet from the

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18th and 19th century, and it's a poem for parents of a child that's died that I've... I think the first time I read it was years and years ago, and the way poetry can, it kind of pierced me, you know, to the marrow. And the poem is, you've fondled him... piggybacked him, gave him the breast, and now bear him away to the withered fields. And we, that poem can, it's such a simple poem, you know, you've traveled with him, cooked with him, laughed hysterically with him, and now bear him away to the withered fields.

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This is our life. Can we stay close So all of us, without exception, are living this out together. And we can help each other We can stand with and stand by and suffer with. And we can't make it go away or change it. We just transform it by our compassionate body-to-body life.

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I feel complete now. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

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