This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. For many of you, this is your first session, your first more than a one-day sitting session. And for all of us, this is the Rohatsu session. Rohatsu is head of the year commemorating Buddha's enlightenment, Shakyamuni Buddha's enlightenment. And I found out that there are a number of people who don't know

[01:00]

the story, the teaching story, or one of the teaching stories of Buddha's enlightenment. The story that's been passed on and is most popular, you might say, is not the only story of Buddha's great enlightenment. So I'll just tell briefly the story to give us a kind of container. The Buddha was born into a family that took very good care of him.

[02:02]

He was educated and trained in many different ways and also protected from seeing dying things and ugly things and sick things, people and things. And all this care resulted in the Buddha at a certain point, or before it was the Buddha, Gautama Siddhartha, wanting to experience some things, some different things for himself. And he made arrangements, or arrangements were made, to go out into the city. outside of the compound where he had been brought up.

[03:08]

And his father, who didn't want him to see anything unpleasant, he wanted him to take over his ruling of the country or the Klan, so he didn't want him to turn towards a more... sage-like existence or a practiced life. So the king sent word to have everything, you know, that was unpleasant, to be removed from the streets, homeless and sick people and just get it out of the way because the prince is going to be coming. And yet, when the prince came out into the streets, he saw something. The first thing he saw was, besides all the lovely people all dressed up and happy to see him, a person who was kind of feebly walking and didn't look very good, and he said to his chariot driver, what's happening with this person over there?

[04:28]

Why are they not walking properly? And his charioteer said, oh, that's an old person. And the story goes that Siddhartha said, is that just this person's problem? Or are we all subject to this? Oh no, everyone is subject to old age, like this. And this struck the Buddha very strongly, struck Shakyamuni, Siddhartha Gautama, and he turned around and went back into the compound with a kind of sinking mind, maybe, or solemn. And then he went out again, and the same thing happened this time. He saw somebody with disfigured spots all over them. looked terrible and he asked, what's happening with this?

[05:31]

Oh, this person is sick. And is this this person's problem or does everybody, is everyone subject to this? Oh yes, everyone is subject to sickness. And the third time he went out, he saw a person all wrapped in a shroud being carried through the streets and He found out that this was a dead person. He'd never seen a dead person. And all of these encounters, old age, sickness, and death, and realizing we are of the nature to grow old. We are of the nature to be ill or sick. We are of the nature to die. There is no way we can escape old age, sickness, and death. and everyone we love, and everything we know is subject to this, is of this same nature.

[06:36]

And the fourth time that Gautama went out, he saw a religious person, an ascetic or religious monk of some kind, some religion, practicing, sitting, Meditation, sitting still, quietly, calmly, upright posture, serene, silent and still, collected body and mind. And he asked, who is this? Oh, this is a religious person who's practicing. And at this point, the Buddha... Siddhartha made some decision. I need to practice in this way. I need to find some way to meet this suffering of old age sickness and death.

[07:43]

And he had, and then he remembered that long ago when he was a little boy, he had sat under a rose apple tree and had some experience of real stillness and clarity in the face of seeing the plow farmers plowing the fields and realizing all the insects and all these animals were being hurt by this and concentrating himself in stillness under the tree He remembered that and realized he wanted to go forth to discover the causes of suffering and the relief of suffering. And so one story has it that he left his wife and child in the middle of the night, kind of stole off.

[08:53]

Another story is that He didn't have a child, but he talked with his wife in the night. She had had a very bad dream, and they talked together about this dream and made love, and she conceived. And at that point, he set off. So these are two different stories of this setting forth. And in the second story, his wife... Yeah, so Dara had her own journey while the Buddha was on his quest. She also was on her journey of growing this child. And so there was a parallel practicing going on, the two of them.

[09:55]

So Gautama first tried... He found the best teachers in the country and learned what they had to teach, the different meditation practices, and he accomplished everything they had to teach. And still he felt he hadn't, he had settled completely this suffering and the causes of suffering and realized his true nature. And then he tried other practices, very ascetic practices of denying the body of nutrition and sleep and not bathing and not clothing himself properly as some attempt to some, what he came to understand, a kind of false attempt to nurture the spirit by

[11:01]

treating the body in some harsh way. And he got very emaciated and weak and realized this was not the answer. And he was practicing with other fellow practitioners and he decided this treating the body harshly is not the way, this very extreme way. And he left his fellow comrades and bathed and he was seen by a young cow herd, or shepherdess, cow herdess, who took him for a tree spirit. He was sitting under a tree and she brought him made an offering of rice milk, very nourishing milk and rice mixed together, and he ate that good, delicious rice pudding, and he could feel that he was filled with ease and joy.

[12:21]

Just like we chant in the morning, the morning meal fills us with ease and joy. and he felt filled, and his strength coming back, and he was bathed, and then he went to the ficus religiosa, the bodhi tree, and made himself a seat, a comfortable seat of soft kusa grass, this grass that is sturdy enough to hold you, but comfortable too. He made a seat for himself, a bodhimanda, an awakening seat. And he made a resolve to not get up until he had completely realized his true nature, until he had realized this strong resolve to sit. And so he sat.

[13:24]

And he sat and he sat. And during this time, under this tree outside, he had such strong resolve that it constellated, you know, when we make a strong commitment and a strong resolve to do something and are not ho-hum, wishy-washy, maybe so, maybe not, we'll see... then there's not much, nothing, it's not, you're not kind of a worthy, as they say, a worthy opponent. There's nothing there to come up against. But when we make a resolve, strong resolve and strong intention, then what gets constellated is, oh yeah, we'll just see about that.

[14:30]

Is this what you're saying? Well, how about this? Can you sit through this? Well, what about this? Throw something else at you, how about that? And that's what happened to the Buddha. This is the teaching story that while he was sitting, he was assailed by, we call it for purposes of, you know, the teaching story, it's personified as Mara, Mara the evil one, who met with the Buddha over many different times in Buddha's life, not just during this enlightenment sitting under the Bodhi tree time. And Mara brought all sorts of aggressiveness and violence and meanness and assailed the Buddha with fighting, conflictive beings, which were, you know, looked like they were on the outside, but this was arising right there on the Bodhimanda, in the Buddha's own mind.

[15:47]

And the Buddha sat still and didn't fight back and didn't bring anger and violence to anger and violent thoughts or beings. And when you meet anger and violence with calm and loving kindness, they kind of give up. There's nothing there to fight with. And then he was assailed by all sorts of pleasant and enticing beings and thoughts and anything that you can possibly imagine that would be luscious and delicious, all the possible things that you would enjoy of all kinds. And Mara brought all those to move the Buddha from off his Bodhimanda in all sorts of forms.

[16:54]

But for you, what form would it take for you dreams of all sorts of beings and adventures and things. And the Buddha was unmoved and sat quietly, calmly. And then Mara brought another trick. And this trick was... undermining kind of self-sabotaging thoughts like that Mara was saying to the Buddha, oh, you think you're so great. You think you're such hot stuff. You think you're the wisest and that you're going to conquer suffering and the causes of suffering. Why don't you go back home and take care of your family?

[17:56]

And all these... What are you escaping from? Can't hack it at home? And all these undermining, self-sabotaging thoughts. And the Buddha felt this pressure to be moved off his seat, to be pushed off this very spot, his Dharma position, his Bodhimanda, his awakening mandala spot. And at that point, the Buddha, with his right hand, brought it down to touch the earth. And we have a statue, you know, we have this figure on the altar in our joint zendo, a Buddha hall room that we have of the Buddha touching the earth, calling the earth...

[18:56]

to witness that he had a right to sit there and to realize his true self. And at that point, the earth shook in eight ways. And there's an image of the earth in the form of a woman coming forth and touching the Buddha's hand. You have a right to be here. You have practiced and practiced and practiced and you have a right to sit here unmoved. And so the Buddha grounded himself in that very spot with the great earth and all living beings. And Mara kind of He gave up and let him alone.

[20:04]

And then the Buddha sat, and he had been sitting for days, but this last night of the Buddha's sitting, They say that the content of his enlightenment included reviewing the 12-fold chain of pratitya-samutpada, the 12-fold chain of causation, forwards and backwards. When this is here, this comes to be. Depending on this, This comes to be. And he saw how everything was interconnected in this way and dependently co-arising. Depending on this, this comes to be. With the cessation of, and then backwards, with the cessation of this, this ceases to be. And he reviewed forward and backward.

[21:18]

And it's said also that he saw past lives, his past lives, and And he also went into various jhanas, or different trance states, up and back through different trance states. And as when the morning came and the morning star rose, upon seeing the morning star, he completely realized his true nature. And one sutra says that he proclaimed in whatever language he spoke, marvelous, marvelous all beings without exception are completely and thoroughly enlightened except for their delusions and confusions.

[22:29]

They don't realize it. All beings and the great earth together are completely and thoroughly enlightened, completely and thoroughly awakened, except for their confusions and delusions. They don't realize it. And then the Buddha... who was the Buddha now, the awakened one, just enjoyed his, enjoyed his awakened life. And he walked back and forth by the river just in the bliss body of Buddha, just enjoying. His true nature, enjoying.

[23:31]

And, you know, this image of going up to the mountain is sometimes, whether the Bodhi tree was on a mountain or not, this going up to the mountain and realizing, completely realizing the truth of existence. And then enjoying it up on the mountain. And just feeling like I can't teach this. It's already, everyone is thoroughly awakened, except they can't, through confusion and delusion, realize it or see it. And I don't know if I can bring this teaching. And so he wasn't sure he was going to teach, in fact, He wasn't going to teach. And then Brahma, the story goes, implored him, please teach.

[24:36]

There are beings that have, you know, their veiled eyes are very, they don't have many veils over their eyes. And there are beings who are ready. Please teach. Please teach. And so the image is he decided to come down from the mountain. with gift-bestowing hands to try to teach, to teach, do his best. And he met his old friends and was able to teach them, and they also woke up. Here we sit for seven days together on our Bodhimanda.

[25:37]

Each one of us has our place with our Dharma friends, with the support of the schedule, the support of all beings are supporting us. If we All beings did not want us to be here. We couldn't be here. So bring everything to your cushion. Bring everything to your seat with a resolve, with a strong resolve to meet yourself. And allow who, let us allow who we are to arise without burying things or hiding or averting or shielding ourselves.

[26:49]

Allow whatever it is to come forth, to come up, whether it's whatever Mara has to bring or send, scary or highly distractible. Find a way to touch the earth on your seat. And one way to just touch the earth is to come back over and over to your place, to follow the schedule completely, to let go of anything else. You know, to sit facing the wall with your backs exposed already is a courageous act. It already takes a huge effort to just

[27:58]

be in this room. And I know unless, you know, people don't take up practice without, just like in the teaching story of the Buddha, without suffering as part of the equation here. Meeting our suffering. And finding this practice might be the only way you've ever found to truly meet your suffering without turning away or trying to make it go away or taking in something that will make it go away or racing around to find something to distract ourselves. And it's not easy.

[29:02]

And at the same time, one might feel like it's the only way to stay with our life just the way it is. Without trying to change our consciousness or body-mind to make it more palatable. There's a poem that's from an old text that was used to study the emperor and the emperor's ministers and how to rule. And the poem, and then Dogen kind of restates it as a practice poem.

[30:02]

So the original poem is, though the sun and the moon shine brightly, The floating clouds cover them over. Though clusters of orchids are about to bloom, the autumn winds blow, causing them to wither. And this poem is referring to, you know, the wise ruler having ministers or people around who are actually not... not wholesomely practicing, you know, some kind of ne'er-do-well, some kind of people surrounding the wise minister. And Dogen changes that too. Even if the floating clouds cover the sun and the moon, they will not stay long. Even if the autumn winds wither the flowers,

[31:07]

they will bloom again. So we may feel the clouds kind of covering our life, clouds of regrets, clouds of remorse, clouds of, we don't even know a name for it, but unnameable despair. clouds of voluntary acts that we have done that we feel great remorse about, or that others have done that we know about and feel the pain of our own actions and others' actions, Someone who I've known for many, many years just recently told me something that they said they had never told anyone that they have deep shame about and can't forgive themselves for.

[32:28]

And in looking at that together, you know, I think by, and they never told anyone before, so by bringing it up looking at it together, walking around and walking around it together, feeling some movement there, a possibility of confessing, in talking with another person about it, feeling something lift and shift. So whatever arises in your mind, whatever thoughts or memories or feelings, bodily sensations, whatever comes up, you know, Dogen says, they will not stay long.

[33:30]

You know, to be settled enough, open enough to allow whatever comes up, to come up and watch it. It will not stay. With the truth of impermanence, we can watch it come and watch it go. But to watch it is what we need to do. To not ignore it or bury it or shield ourselves from it it out act out in some way and reactivity pay very very careful attention yesterday attention Roshi who I'm very honored to have here at the talk today brought up controlling and the inability to control when the 10,000 things comes 10,000 things of our life are coming are arising each moment there's

[34:40]

many, many things arising, coming forth, revealing themselves. And these are outside of our control. So in our practice, in our Sashin practice, not trying to control these things that arise, but to pay very careful attention and not ignore them. And with our own posture, sitting upright, taking the posture of resolve and steadfast stillness and openness is often part of our shielding from or burying. Our posture will be burying and shielding. We can drop our chest and make our chest vertical rather than the chest being diagonal. dropping the chest and having the back be diagonal.

[35:45]

This is a kind of protecting this whole area of heart and emotion and feeling. So to take an upright posture, open as best we can with no forcing, lifting, lifting the sternum and opening. This is how we mature. This is how we nourish our nature, our complete interdependent Buddha nature existence. We take the posture of openness and relaxation and trust this posture that's ready for anything.

[36:52]

And, you know, the book will be thrown at us, right? And we can't control that. We can't. If, you know, there was a practitioner who had very strong concentration and succeeded for many years in controlling with his... force of a kind of concentrated effort to keep down any emotional upset that might possibly be bubbling up. He just was able to just keep it away, keep it down until he realized this is not living. You know, this is I can't live this way anymore because not only did all the anger and confused emotional things be kept down, but lively, relaxed. Joyfulness was being kept down as well.

[37:57]

Emotion is emotion. It's just one life. If we numb and bury parts of ourselves, it's just one life. All the parts are affected. So to allow during these days and these hours that we have to not, just like in Zazen instruction, take an upright position, not leaning forward and grabbing after things, not leaning away from our life, pushing away, neither contracting nor bracing, but allowing whatever it is to arise and watch and let it go and stay anchored in our body.

[39:00]

When I was walking down here I was coming out the back door of where I live and there was this flow of water that's just seeping out of the hillside, the little hill, it's a little bit of a hill, and the hillside is soaked with water, and the water is flowing, flowing, flowing out of the hill into these drains that were put in. And, you know, the sky is blue, the rains have gone, and this water is flowing, flowing. And I thought, this is karma, you know, this is... This rainstorm happened hours, days ago now. And the water is flowing and we have to take care of that water. When there weren't drains there, we had a swamp back there. We couldn't walk out of the house without boots. Everything was filled. It needs proper drainage, you know. And it's flowing.

[40:05]

It's making, it's its own little creeklet. And all the creeks are flowing. And the rain, where's the rain? So the past becomes present. All of our actions, our actions of body, speech and mind are present now in this form. The form that they arise in as we're sitting. And we take good care of them. Accepting our life completely. With the body, with the body in the most stable posture we can find, whatever that is for each one of you, cross-legged or seiza in a kneeling posture, on a chair, take a stable posture each time you sit, each time you come back to your bodhimanda. And that includes rocking the body right and left.

[41:10]

You can also, just like in Phukansa Zangi, it says, inhale and exhale. Rock the body right and left in our universal admonitions. This isn't just once in a while. Inhale and exhale. Take a cleansing breath. When you take your seat and settle into a steady, immovable posture. Now, when we say immovable posture, We know, we say immovable, but there's no such thing as immovable. Each thing is alive and moving, and as you're sitting, we're not trying to be some rigid, robotic, rigid being. We're fully moving, flowing breath, heart beating, all sorts of things flowing throughout the body and thoughts are arising and vanishing.

[42:19]

I was remembering growing up in a house that had a fireplace in it in Minnesota and in the winter we'd have a fire in the fireplace and I could sit by the fire and just watch the fire for hours, really. And maybe this was almost like the Buddha sitting out, you know, a kind of child's just complete settling, watching the flames, watching them moving and changing colors. There's greens and blues and yellows and sounds and different shapes. And in that same way, I thought, oh, that's, just sitting steadfast, you know, watching, not ignoring, completely being present with our life and all those movements. You know, I think when we say follow the breath or unify body, breath, and mind, it's not a rigid sort of stuckness.

[43:40]

It's unifying in movement, in stillness and movement. There's movement and stillness, and when you do kinyin, stillness and movement, or walking throughout the day. So while we're sitting immovably, to be, to notice all the movement that's there, in the immovability, and the following the breath with the breath, It's following movement, it's staying with movement, wherever you feel it. So whatever your practice is, if it's just sitting with no object of concentration, nothing, you're particularly bent on, I think bent is a good word, particularly

[44:43]

or if it's just each moment being clearly aware with this moment and this moment and this moment, one might find that the movement of the breath is always with you. It's always there and it will come to meet your efforts. to drop the idea that you know what that is, what following the breath is. So in Suzuki Roshi's chapter at the section on control, he brings up the kind of counterintuitive almost.

[46:05]

If you want to control your sheep or your cow, give them a big pasture, a spacious meadow. That's how you control them. So what does control mean here? Give them a big, spacious pasture. And same with our friends, you know. If you want to take good care of your friends and your animals, your cows and your sheep, and if you want to take good care of practice mind, give it a wide and spacious meadow. And then see what happens. Don't... Sussu Kureshi says, don't ignore. That's the worst policy. To give a wide meadow or give your kid a playpen and ignore.

[47:09]

Give lots of space and then watch very, very carefully and see what's being... what you need to respond to. There will be... You don't know what it is ahead of time. Trying to control is we think we know what's needed ahead of time. And then imparting that or imposing that, imposing rather than composing. Finding composure of the mind is with posture, with poise rather than imposing some idea that we have ahead of time and going forth and making that happen to your own mind and body or your sheep or your cow or your friends or your family.

[48:10]

So with composure we find our composure in Whatever happens, can we find our composure within pain, mental, physical, emotional pain? Can we allow that to come up, come forward, and meet it fresh without some idea of how we're supposed to handle that? Suzuki Roshi in this same chapterette says to obtain perfect calmness is not to be bothered by whatever thoughts come up in your mind. Oh, there's that thought again. I remember that. I see you. And let it go. Not believing this is the truth of my life.

[49:16]

This is who I am. But this is what has been codependently arisen here. What is it? Not to be bothered. Can we find composure? And can we be completely at home right there? with whatever comes up. With all of our difficulties, with all of our fears and vulnerability, can we touch the earth right there? This is home. There's no other place to go where I'll be somehow free of all this. Take me there, somebody whisk me away.

[50:19]

Touching the earth. Right there is home. So, please help each other by following the forms. Being very attentive to and the observing of silence. We're just using functional speech in the same loving way that you're taking. What I've been talking about is lovingly taking care of yourself during Sashin. It's not some harsh way. It's compassionately and lovingly meeting yourself and meeting each other. Give each other space.

[51:22]

Just take care of your own practice. You don't have to worry about what other people are doing. And without trying to control anything, stay with everything. What is that? Even if the floating clouds cover the sun and the moon, they will not stay long. We can't have confidence in that. This is the truth of impermanence. Even if the autumn winds wither the flowers, they will bloom again. Not that flower, that particular flower. There will be blooming.

[52:27]

Maybe flowers like you've never seen before, like the desert in full bloom. Nobody wants to go out in the desert, that bleak, dry. But the desert, you have to go into the desert to see the desert and bloom. Those brilliant, unusual, only in the desert they bloom. Dogen says, whatever arises in the mind, if you remain steadfast and maintain your aspiration and intention and practice for a long time, the floating clouds will disappear and the autumn winds will cease.

[53:34]

Now when he says you have to practice for a long time, you may think that may, you know, You might think, I don't have a long time, I want it now, you know. But, you know, each breath is a long time when you're with it, moment after moment. So, we don't know what Doga means by a long time. We don't know what it means. Just practice. Thank you very much. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[54:37]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[54:39]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_98.18