This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Thank you all for coming. Good morning. And thank you to everyone online, especially those who thought you might come on this freezing day. the Green Gulch, but saw the note on the website that we were struggling a little bit here with the spike in COVID. So not widely open for all of you to attend today. Thank you to those also who did slip in. You're very welcome here. Please take good care of yourselves. I want to thank again our director, chemo for caring for us year after year in this pandemic.

[01:10]

And may everyone here who is sick and recovering and everyone everywhere who is sick and recovering be well and heal completely. And if anybody here, didn't know that there was some COVID going around and wants to run out of the hall now, you're totally welcome to do so. This morning, I wanted to share again teachings on meditation that I've been revisiting and appreciating very much. It's these compassionate practices of profound stillness offered by the Song Dynasty Chinese Chan teachers in the lineage of silent illumination.

[02:27]

predecessor of our own Soto Zen tradition that we're part of now. We don't use so much the term silent illumination, but we are the heirs of the tradition of silent illumination, and our practice is basically silent illumination, in my view. So, in a nutshell, the practice of silent illumination is to sit in utter stillness and silence and Actually, that's the whole teaching.

[03:39]

It fits in a nutshell. No need to condense it. Sitting completely still and quiet and bright. So first I want to talk a little bit, share some of these images that are used in this teaching. or the silence or stillness. And there are many of these images or poetic instructions, and a lot of them are really quite wonderful and weird. So I'll share an example that I've been turning from our great and important 12th century Zen or Chan ancestor, in Japanese, He says, you should engage in the great rest and the great cessation.

[04:40]

That sounds nice. The great rest. To just completely stop. and put all the burdens down. So he says, you should engage in the great rest and the great cessation so that white mold starts growing at the corners of your mouth and grass growing out on your tongue. Now, if it feels less restful now, to me it feels... completely restful, to be so still, to be so unmoving and at peace, to be so non-reactive, that even as the white mold starts to grow at the corners of your mouth and the grass starts to sprout from your tongue, just rest in this stillness.

[05:57]

that this image may not be as inspiring or interesting to others as it is to me. You may not hear it and think, yes, I want that. But I feel that way. Maybe I'm a little bit out of touch with what inspires people. But I can't imagine now and then anything better than complete rest, complete stillness. i was remembering recently in a group i had the opportunity to say a little bit about the path that i have found myself on in arriving at practice and i was remembering and sharing the story of the first time that i encountered zen practice which was as a little kid was maybe nine or ten or eleven i grew up in the albuquerque friends meeting

[07:05]

And with the group of Quakers, we went to a nearby Zen center called Bodhimanda, which is a center in the style of Joshu Sasaki Roshi, a grandfather of Rinzai Zen in the West. So the meditation instruction that they offered, at least my big takeaway, it was said in the meditation instruction that this group of adults and children received, that if your nose runs, you just let it run. The mold starts growing. They didn't say what they meant. If the mold starts growing in the corners of your mouth, just enjoy the rest and stillness. So as a snot-nosed kid, this teaching really... permeated quite deeply.

[08:06]

It's a kind of permission to let your nose run sort of transgressive stillness. What would it be to value stillness for a little while at least while you're here in the meditation hall? Value stillness more than comfort and value stillness more than what you're supposed to do according to someone with your nose when it runs. think deeply what it what it says just for a time when you're sitting just let your nose run means that the things that the world says that our culture says or that friends say that we ourselves say to ourselves the things that are supposed to move us don't need to move us

[09:11]

The ordinary way that we go about our life and what we're taught is that when you have an itch, you should scratch it. And when you have an idea, you should do it. When you want something, you should reach out and get it. And when you don't like something, you should push it away. That's the basic instruction, maybe, that humans get. Especially now, in this place and time, Amazon.com is their... ready to help us to get what we want and find some way to get rid of what we don't want. There's tools to help us feed this habit. The offering of the Buddha Dharma, the offering of this teaching of silent, illumination of silence and stillness is to be free to move or to not move am I free in one of these circumstances there's an itch there's a want there's something I want to get rid of am I free in that moment to move or not to move

[10:50]

So we do this training in Zen practice. We do this training in stillness, not because stillness is the best, although stillness is pretty good, but to recover this capacity that we have not to move so that we can be free to move or not to move. So it's really important as we enter these teachings, if you'd like to enter these teachings of stillness and silence, in brightness, to understand correctly. It's not that there's a problem with scratching an itch or getting something we want or getting away from something we don't want. Often, in fact, it may be vital for us to get something we want and get away from something we don't want and to scratch some itch as an expression of our compassion and our love for ourselves and others.

[11:54]

Our action, our vows as bodhisattvas to take care of everything that needs taken care of. It's fine to wipe your nose when you're in appropriate company. Wipe your nose and maybe wash your face before the mold grows on it. But as I study my action and my life, it seems to me that most of the movement, most of the things I do are a kind of careening. That image was coming up. Careening from moment to moment. Careening from thing to thing. Have that feeling? Careening.

[12:57]

Getting this, getting that. Pushing away from this, pushing away from that. A little bit lost. Led around. I want that. I don't want that. Careening. Moment to moment. Moving, but not free not to move. Caught. Captured. Led around by things. That sound familiar? Anybody else here careening all day and all night? We even could careen at night. Never stopping to connect, or say seldom stopping, or how about more often stopping to connect with this moment of stillness, really, of being right here,

[14:00]

not on my way to something, not on my way from something, not to get, not to get rid of, but actually coming to life in the present moment. And that's what we miss when we're careening, trying to grab something, Anything we want, we reach for. Anything we don't want, we push away. Meanwhile, we miss the center point, the still point, where we're actually alive. This moment where reality is right here, bright and interconnected. and boundlessly deep. So the Buddha said, this trying to get and trying to get away, we suffer.

[15:17]

We suffer because we're cut off from the deeply nourishing present. suffer and also we hurt each other maybe that's a it's definitely a feature of my own careening people get knocked over while we're careening unable not to move grabbing on or pushing away we plow over each other and that's the source of our killing and stealing and lying and exploiting this unfamiliarity with not moving. Though I've been practicing this stillness, not as like a new nest to make or something to insist on, but as a kind of reset.

[16:30]

of my reactivity. Reset my being in this stillness. So that emerging from that stillness, there's something more like a response than a reaction. Jury, the same teacher, who says, just sit so that the mold grows at the corner of your mouth. He says of our activity in Zen, he says, accord and respond. And that's really the fundamental principle of activity in our Zen practice. We accord and then respond. Suzuki Roshi uses the image of the frog. Maybe you are familiar with this image.

[17:32]

the way the frog from the outside is completely still, is completely still and present, awake to everything but not reaching for anything until the fly comes by and then darts out its tongue and grabs it, responding, first abiding in this according and the stillness and then responding. been making an effort to cultivate this stillness and have been encouraging this practice of stillness as a deepening, nourishing the root or the basis of our responding. Here's more from this image from Hongjir.

[18:35]

He says, you should engage in the great rest and the great cessation so that white mold starts growing at the corners of your mouth and grass growing out on your tongue. In this way, you become completely emptied out, washed, sparkling clean, polished to a bright shine. I love this handrail. I've been finding it to be so. Do try this at home. See if in the stillness, as Hongzhi says, in this way, by just being completely still, you become polished and washed sparkling clean. Joy emerges from the stillness. I could see your faces, but I can't.

[19:50]

But I can feel some stillness and appreciate each of us in our bodies just as it is. opening to the nourishment of that stillness. To be polished bright and washed sparkling clean. I remember long ago a friend was telling me about how they started practicing. And he said that at his first meditation retreat in an intensive sitting in a Korean Zen tradition, He hated every single moment of it. That may be a familiar experience. To sit, hating every single moment of it. And he said then, when he stepped out of the retreat, it felt like his glasses had been cleaned of some thick grime that he didn't know was there.

[21:09]

Now I know that's what Hunter said would happen. We're polished bright in the stillness. Without knowing it, we emerge more clear. So there are some other images that are used for how we might meditate in this utter stillness. And I've been trying these on, feeling into the different poetic images of totally still sitting. Fuyo Dokai Dayosho, one of our ancestors, says, sit like a censer at an old shrine. Sit like an incense bowl at an old abandoned shrine. Or be like a person who doesn't take even a single breath.

[22:11]

That's sort of a weird one. Also, Fuyo Dokai. Another favorite tradition is to sit like a strip of silk. Or a bag of rice. I love the image of this shrine, this old incense bowl in the mountains at a collapsed shrine. And I like the image because it's totally alive. The weeds are growing all around. Sometimes it's raining, sometimes it's sunny.

[23:14]

And this bowl, just completely there, welcoming whatever is, unmoving. So when these teachings, these sort of radical teachings about stillness, which were always in the context of the whole Buddhist teaching, so you know, as the commercials used to say, maybe still say, part of this complete breakfast. Remember that? There'd be some commercial for Froot Loops. And then at the end, there would be a highly unrealistic breakfast that included all of the nutritious stuff. that you would, of course, be eating while you ate your Froot Loops. So the stillness is like that, part of this complete breakfast, part of a whole package of Buddhist teaching, cultivating compassion and wisdom. But the stillness is a vital piece. But many Buddhists today, and in the past, in the 12th and 13th century, when this teaching was being promulgated,

[24:25]

thought that this kind of stillness practice was ineffective and pointless. So they would say that how could you possibly accomplish anything by just sitting there completely still? How could that lead to enlightenment? Sitting there completely still is not the fulfillment of your Buddhist vows. It's an abandoning of your bodhisattva vows to just sit there completely still. They said you're just sitting like burned out tree stumps. What good could possibly come of that? So the retort which we still share,

[25:27]

today in our school is that is right, correct. This does not accomplish anything. This sitting completely still does not achieve enlightenment. When we sit bright and awake in the stillness, the inconceivable depth of being is just manifested, transparent and present. It's not accomplished, it's allowed to be itself. better than accomplishing something.

[26:46]

It's allowing the already boundless and pure reality to just be there. So our founder Dogen says, the Zazen I speak of is not learning meditation. It is simply the entry into ease and joy. It's the practice and the manifesting of totally culminated enlightenment. All of reality is right here when we just stop. And the critics say, but what are you going to get out of that? They try to point to it somehow. The way the whole world just is allowed to be itself transparently shines in our stillness. That makes sense? Does that sound as good as getting? Maybe not quite.

[27:48]

Yeah, but didn't I get a hold of it through some other practice? The Dogen also says, when just for a moment you sit upright in this way, the whole world becomes the Buddha's seal. The whole world, everything in this moment is just manifesting. that boundlessness and purity of being, and the entire sky turns into enlightenment. But what will I get? So these critics say, you're just sitting like burnt-out stumps. And the silent illumination teachers said, wonderful image, thank you. and turn to their assemblies and say, sit like burned out stumps. And that's been the one that's most alive for me.

[28:52]

I've been endeavoring, which is a funny thing to do because a stump wouldn't do that. I've been endeavoring to sit, to just be like a stump, a burnt out stump on the hillside. Try it. could have a little stump forest here on the hillside. Not trying to think. It's not trying not to think. Not reaching for anything. It's not pushing anything away. Birds and the butterflies. Insects come and go. And it's just completely itself. not reaching for anything, not pushing anything away. It's a funny feeling, but I feel this great warmth in this burnt-out stump.

[29:58]

It's a kind of generosity, or love even, that this stump, by just allowing everything to be, is manifesting. I've had the image of the mama dog just lying there, you know, and all the puppies crawling all over her. This kind of love of stillness, the love of allowing everything to be as it is. In the Brahma Baharas, the Buddhist teachings on the four aspects of love, this stillness is one of those aspects, pekkha, non-discriminating, equanimity. that is a kind of love, a kind of generosity. So the stillness is love because it's allowing everything to manifest the Buddha's seal.

[31:04]

It's allowing everything to become enlightenment itself. When we sit, the whole phenomenal world becomes the Buddha's seal. The entire sky turns into enlightenment. Everything has room to be exactly what it is. And that sounds like love to me. You are welcome, just exactly as you are. Sitting like a stump, feeling the warmth of that, allowing everything to be, and just completely not moving. Valuing the stillness over the comfort, valuing the stillness over for a few minutes, even the alignment. You know, we emphasize posture so much in our sitting practice that we can get into like, I'm not quite ready to be still.

[32:11]

It's like me taking the seat here. Not quite ready to be still. Just give me another minute for me to line up my life perfectly and then I'll be super still. Stillness starts. Now, the stillness starts before we're comfortable and before everything is perfectly aligned. When we take up this practice of valuing stillness. So there's a second part of this practice. Of course, the term is silent illumination. And the stillness is the silence. Or the leaving as is. letting things be as they are in this moment of meditation. And then there's this illumination, which is the brightness in the stillness. There's many ways to think about or reflect on this illumination of silent illumination, but most basically, for me, it's

[33:20]

about literal light. It's about open your eyes. I notice sometimes, often actually, when I try to find stillness, I close my eyes and I try to burrow down into some still place in myself. So that's a practice of silence or stillness. But it's not silent illumination because there's not There's not brightness, there's not light. So this is a practice of being a wide awake stump, of opening our eyes and opening our ears, feeling every sensation, hearing the sound, appreciating the light. The whole panoramic field of awareness is illuminated, is bright, is alive. Hongjir says, when we just have the brightness, when we just have illumination without the stillness, then we're reactive.

[34:58]

And when we just have the stillness without the brightness, we're wasting our time, really. We're just kind of asleep. You'll be silent and still without brightness. So this silence and stillness in brightness, these two sides merged. I have more that I'd like to say, and I feel like I've lost you a bit, maybe because I can't see your faces, as I mentioned, and maybe because we're practicing stillness.

[36:39]

Maybe I'll just say that Even if the stillness feels far away, it's really just a breath away in our actual life. We can now and then, once or twice, just stop. Open our eyes and become still. then move back into our activity. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[37:50]

Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving may we fully enjoy the dharma

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