This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. For those of you who are traveling over Highway 1, Thank you so much for coming out on the Dipsy day. I didn't know how much of a delay Dipsy would cause, so I hope it wasn't too much. And the week before last, I was quite ill. I had 102.8 degrees fever one day, which is a world record for me.

[01:07]

Certainly a world record in my adult life. But I seem to be better, except I cough suddenly. So I have a cough drop. in case that comes up. In our practice, in our practice of realization, can you hear me okay back there? Yes. Good. In our practice of realization, a core feature is to meet each thing as Buddhadharma.

[02:11]

I appreciate the English word realization among its many meanings. Two of its meanings are It's sometimes used in Buddhist circles as a synonym for enlightenment or awakening. She had a great realization like that. And then also just in our regular language, we use it. It means to make something real. To realize one's dreams means that you've made your dreams real in your life. So it's in both of those senses of the word realization that I am saying

[03:28]

In our practice of realization, making things real, and having a deep understanding of the way things are, in our practice of that, a core feature is meeting each thing as Buddha Dharma. So for some of you, to say that may convey a great deal, but some of you may not be familiar with this word Buddhadharma. And it has many meanings, but the meaning that I would emphasize today is to meet Each thing as Buddha Dharma means to not be caught by it.

[04:34]

To not be caught by things is to encounter them as Buddha Dharma. To not be caught by the usual things that we get caught by. I like this. I don't like that. That's a very basic one. I'm right, you're wrong. That's a favorite sometimes. The usual things that we get caught by. All of the reactive and habitual responses to things. Things means not just things. It means things like things. Like things. It is a thing. cover that cup to meet each thing as Buddha Dharma but things also mean people experiences this is an object in the world of rupa in the world of form but it also means to meet things in

[06:03]

to meet our mental objects, not just physical objects, to meet each thing, each person, each experience that we have, each thought that we have, as Buddha Dharma means, to not be caught by it, not be trapped by our habitual way of thinking about things, not be trapped by our thinking, emotional, psychological thoughts, reactivity. And this was a favorite theme of Suzuki Roshi's. Suzuki Roshi, the man who founded San Francisco Zen Center, of which Green Gulch is a part. He would, I think I could say often, often say, Don't be caught by things.

[07:06]

Don't be stuck in your idea. When we were practicing with him, young Americans had lots and lots and lots of ideas that he would find rather ridiculous and humorous. Don't be stuck in your idea. Often it was ideas about what Zen was, what practice is about. But I think more generally applicable than that. Don't be stuck in your ideas. Don't be caught by your reaction, your psychological reaction. Which is beginner's mind. Voila. You know, Beginner's Mind is a... I'm guessing most of you have heard of this idea, Beginner's Mind, the title of the compilation of Suzuki Roshi's talks, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind.

[08:20]

Beginner's Mind is Zen Mind. That's why they're together. Beginner's Mind is not caught mind. Not caught because... If you're a beginner, you haven't had a bunch of experience when you meet Mary or Joe. If you're a beginner, you don't assume you know who Mary or Joe is. But if you have experience with them, if you become an expert, a Mary expert or a Joe expert, then you think you know who they are, which is... Not true. But very convincing, sometimes. So to have a beginner's mind means an uncaught mind, means meeting things, people, events, thoughts, as Buddhadharma.

[09:35]

Now, there's an important proviso in here, an important corollary that I want to mention that causes, I think it causes some confusion in our practice, which is to meet things as Buddha Dharma, to not be caught by things, does not mean eliminating the world of I like this, I don't like that. It's not a matter of... I'm trying to think of a word other than exterminate. Exterminate is such a horrifically powerful word. It's not a matter of eliminating our likes and dislikes. which is very fortunate because that would be impossible.

[10:47]

So it's really good that we don't have to do that because we couldn't do it. It's also not to meet each thing as Buddha Dharma doesn't mean Oh, everything is the emanation of the beneficent mind of Buddha. Therefore, everything that happens is wonderful and good. No, that's not the way it is. There is in our life good and bad, good action and bad action of body, speech and mind. There is. right and wrong, sometimes dramatically obvious, sometimes not so obvious. So to meet things as Buddha Dharma, to not be caught by things, does not mean that we somehow have to eliminate our likes and dislikes

[12:07]

rights and wrongs, and everything else that comes along with that. However, what it does mean is that we're not trapped by that reactive mind. We're not bullied by it. We're not dominated by it. We're not encased in our thinking, emotional, reactive mind. We're not imprisoned. We're not imprisoned by our habits and by our... We're not imprisoned by our limitations. Limitations there are Ain't no way to get around that.

[13:09]

We are very, very limited. Start here, end here. See this much, see this much. All of this stuff we don't see. But, what I'm talking about is a, I don't know how to say it exactly, not being limited by our limitations. Which maybe is like, it's just occurring to me that Shohaku Okamura, who's a wonderful contemporary Zen teacher in Indiana. Indiana? Any of you know? Indiana. I get the states that begin with I confused.

[14:18]

Indiana, Idaho, they're all out there somewhere. Anyway, Shohaku Wakabura. So he says, I'm not sure if I can capture it exactly, but he says something like, we're deluded, inevitably deluded, which I'm saying limited, similar. He says we're deluded, but we should know that we're deluded. To know that you're deluded is wisdom. Wisdom. Didn't say it exactly that way, but something like that. So within our limitations, our practice is a gesture, is a teaching about and an encouragement toward

[15:36]

Freedom. Not because you leave the world of limitation, which as I'm saying is not possible, but within the world of limitation. To be free there. Freer. Freer is enough. So I have three examples of this. The first is somewhat hypothetical, which is, but very common experience. Maybe you've had this experience or certainly know someone who's had this experience, which is driving on the freeway, and then suddenly somebody comes and cuts you off.

[16:41]

This is a situation that is very, very difficult not to get caught by. We get caught. How dare you do such a thing? And it's getting in front of me suddenly without letting me know. Didn't you ever hear of a turn signal for crying out loud? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Or I once saw two cars, male drivers, two cars going very fast down the road. Each of the male drivers had their body half out of the driver's seat yelling at the other person. I don't remember what they were yelling. You can only imagine. Wow. So it's very hard not to get caught by that.

[17:49]

But actually, I don't have that experience so much. I haven't noticed people jamming in front of me. And people tell me about that, but it hasn't really been something in my own experience. But I thought of a somewhat embarrassing instance in my own life, which I will tell you about. It happened. Oh, so this is interesting. This entire thing that I'm about to tell you the entire length from start to finish was maybe 15 seconds, maybe 20 seconds. Small. It was a small thing. But in the way I'm trying to express about our practice today, small things is exactly what makes our life.

[18:59]

Exactly what you add the small things and you have a life of realization and awakening and beginner's mind and Zen mind. Or you have a life of delusion and greed and hate. Usually not just one or the other, but it's these very things that count. which we lose sight of sometimes. We think, oh, it's just a small thing. What really counts is this big thing over here, which is like running to get to the zendo in the morning in order to be on time. I got to rush. I got to go. I got to go in order to sit still. It's very tempting because if you're late, then you have to stand outside and you can't get in.

[20:02]

It's embarrassing, you know. So you rush and run to get to the zendo on time. But of course, there's a little bit of a contradiction there. Again, Suzuki Roshi used to say, the zazen doesn't begin when you walk in the door, you know. It begins before then. I leave it to you to figure out how much before then it begins. Anyway, so this was this tiny thing. So it's interesting that it's really stuck in my mind because it happened maybe eight years ago, ten years ago, twelve, something around that, you know, a while ago. So I live here at Green Gulch, and I work in San Francisco, and sometimes I cycle, I bicycle from here or from Mill Valley, which is great pleasure.

[21:09]

Sometimes I just drive. So one morning I was driving to work, and I got to this particular intersection. So I'm coming in like this, and then there's a... a pickup truck that's coming this way who got to the intersection a little bit before me. Can you see my diagram here? This is for AAA. I'm going to send them a diagram, exactly how this happened. So he got to the intersection a little bit before me. However, the presidio is over here, and there was a crosswalk, and somebody was walking in the crosswalk, who soon would be in front of the pickup truck. You with me so far? Oh, and I needed to make a left turn. So I figured he's going to have to wait till the person in the crosswalk crosses.

[22:15]

So I have an opportunity to go out of turn and make my left turn, which would be... a tremendously important accomplishment that would allow me to get to work 15 seconds before I otherwise would get to work. This is reactive mind, reactive mind. So one part of Steve Weintraub's reactive mind is, maybe I can get away with it. Probably if I were questioned about it, I would say, well, you know, it's not going to hurt if he waits another, you know, it's all going to be okay. So I pull out, right, to make my left turn. But the fellow in the truck, in the pickup truck, did not like this at all.

[23:19]

So he disregarded the pedestrian who was in the crosswalk, and he came zooming in at me, you know, kind of like sideways. and started yelling at me. Well, I could have yelled back. That would be usual, right? Usually. But of course, I was totally in the wrong, trying to get away with something, trying to cheat. Now, he didn't have to react so strongly to it. You know, okay, sorry. Just trying to move things along here. But anyway, so this is an example of getting caught. I got caught by my idea of taking advantage of the situation.

[24:21]

And not surprisingly, that led to this fellow getting pretty caught by not liking the fact that I was trying to take advantage of the situation. And I don't know exactly what his agenda was, but anyway. So there's a big emphasis in our practice, this style of practice that we do called Soto Zen practice, to take care of things like that. That's a thing. To take care of that. Not, oh, this is just some unimportant detail, I can get away with it, you know, etc. To take care of each thing as it arises. Oops, losing my voice here. That is to meet things as Buddha Dharma.

[25:38]

That is to be free. I was thinking, well, I, you know, It was a beautiful morning. I could have gotten to the intersection and said, what a beautiful morning. You know, it's beginning to get light, people crossing streets, the Presidio on the other side with, what's his name's big studio, Star Wars. George Lucas's big studio. I can see that. My third example is something that Jordan Thorne said. Jordan Thorne is no longer alive and was a practitioner of

[26:47]

and a teacher at San Francisco Zen Center for... He came to Zen Center in the 70s, 1970s. And Jordan... the last years of his life, he was the treasurer of Zen Center, which was a job I had also. I was the treasurer of Zen Center from 1975 to 1980. And Jordan, who some of you may know, Jordan and I went back, go back many years. to the early 70s when we were both at Tassahara, practicing at Tassahara.

[27:52]

And Jordan was, he was then and he continued to be someone who set great store on enjoying himself, sensual pleasure, good food, good wine. good company. He enjoyed those things a great deal. Unabashedly enjoyed them. Which is humorous because it's a kind of, at least in those days, there was a kind of ascetic tinge to our practice. Wrongheaded, but ascetic. In the summer of 1975, Summer of 1975, I was the tenzo at Tassajara. That's the head cook. And Jordan was the fuku ten. That means assistant head cook.

[28:57]

And some of you have been to Tassajara. Many of you, perhaps, have been to Tassajara. And as you may know, in the summer, it can get really, really hot. like 105, sometimes 110, sometimes even a little more than that. So this was the early 70s, before the fire of 1978, so there was a walk-in that was connected to the, you know, where you kept stuff for the kitchen, and you had to go down these stairs into kind of a basement area, and in the middle of that, was the walk-in. And sometimes when it was really, really hot, I knew exactly where to find Jordan. Because he was supposed to be doing some kind of work. But instead, he'd be sitting in the walk-in on a milk crate.

[30:09]

You know those hard milk crates? And he'd have another milk crate in front of him. And on the milk crate in front of him would be a snack of some kind. And he'd be eating his snack, you know, enjoying himself and staying cool. That was so typical of Jordan. It was really great. Anyway. So Jordan died six months ago, about six months ago. And sometime before he died, he wrote to me, I think it might have been a group of people

[31:12]

that he wrote to me and many other people and explained that he had received a terminal cancer diagnosis. That he had, not remembering the exact cancer that he had, but that it was definitely terminal and he would die. And in the email he wrote, this was the main point I wanted to get to here, in the email he wrote something like, this will be very interesting, which knocked me out. This is not... how one usually responds to receiving a diagnosis of terminal cancer.

[32:18]

Oh, this will be an interesting thing to see how this unfolds. He wrote something like that. This will be interesting. That's how that's what it is like to meet each thing, even a diagnosis of terminal cancer as Buddha Dharma. That's what that's like. Whatever else happens. Oh, and I don't know that that was his only response. Maybe before he wrote the email he was screaming.

[33:24]

Maybe. Maybe he was crying. Why is this happening to me? This shouldn't be happening. But there was enough room in his heart, in his practice to say, oh, this will be interesting to see what this is going to be like. Me dying soon. This is very powerful. While I was considering this for this Dharma talk, mentioning Jordan, a line of poetry floated into my namely, do not go gentle into that good night. And I didn't know who said it or where it came from.

[34:35]

I didn't even know whether that good night meant death or not. It sounded vaguely Shakespearean. Do not go gentle. No, sorry. Do not go gently into that good night. You know, the stops. Do not go gently into that good night. It's fabulous. Certainly something Lear could have said or Macbeth could have said. But as it turns out, it's not Shakespearean. He didn't write those lines. That line was written by Dylan Thomas. Dylan Thomas. Do you all know Dylan Thomas, the 20th century poet Dylan Thomas, after whom, as you probably know, Bobby Zimmerman,

[35:46]

changed his name to Bob Dylan. The Dylan of Bob Dylan was named after Dylan Thomas. Before Bob Dylan was Bob Dylan, he was Bobby Zimmerman, a kid in Minnesota someplace on the Iron Range. Hibbing, Minnesota. So he named himself after Dylan Thomas. And Dylan Thomas's poem, the first couple of lines of that poem are, Do not go gently into that good night. Old age should burn and raise at close of day. Rage.

[36:47]

Rage against the dying of the light. That's also a famous line you may have heard. Rage against the dying of the light. So this is very powerful. And deeply felt and deeply moving. Old age should burn and raise at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. represents some very sincere feeling that we have.

[37:51]

You know? Some of you know, I often joke about, you know, how there's a, you know, design is a big deal, you know, like Apple design, you know, things are really designed. Everybody's aware of design. So here we are, 40 years, 50 years, 60 years, 70 years, etc. Maybe you're just getting the hang of it. Things are just maybe working out somewhat more smoothly than the previous number of decades. Maybe the major traumas are... far enough behind so they're somewhat less painfully remembered? Not always, but so here you are, things are just getting warmed up, you know?

[38:59]

And what happens? We lose our faculties and we lose our capacities, one at a time or all at once. And then after a little while, then we die after that. What kind of design is that? This is poor design. You know, if you get something, and it's what is called planned obsolescence. It's planned, hey, this is planned obsolescence. You send it back, you know. This is planned obsolescence in the worst way. So Dylan Thomas's quite beautiful expression of annoyance. You know, he feels a lot more strong than annoyance, you know.

[40:01]

His rage at this is quite understandable. But... But... But, but, but, but, we might say, in the context that I'm speaking about today, that his perspective is a little too narrow. It's a pretty narrow perspective. Especially there's a lot of I in his perspective. How could this be happening to me? I don't like this. It's a lot of I, which is the definition of narrow perspective. So, and Jordan's response, of course, as I say, maybe privately,

[41:10]

he was reciting those lines of Dylan Thomas. But his response was quite wide, quite open, quite beginner's mind. So, let's see. I was going to speak about, but I'll just instead just very briefly mention the third of the four bodhisattva vows. And then I want to talk about Suzuki Roshi a little bit. So at the end of the talk today, and at the end of every Sunday talk, one of the things that we chant, that we recite, it's called the four vows of a bodhisattva. which roughly means the four encouragements for us coming from our practice life and our practice efforts.

[42:24]

The four practitioner encouragements. Beings are numberless. I vow to awaken them. Delusions are endless. inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Dharma gates are boundless. The gate of Dharma, the gate of the truth of our existence, the wide truth of our life, is boundless.

[43:33]

That truth is gigantic. It's more gigantic than gigantic. It's boundless. That's the gate that we enter. And it's also boundless in the meaning of boundless that is all over the place. The number of Dharma gates is innumerable. I brought some statistics here. On average, a person at rest takes about 16 breaths per minute. This means we breathe about 960 breaths an hour, 23,040 breaths a day,

[44:42]

8,409,600 breaths a year. And then they put in, unless we get a lot of exercise. That was great. They want to make a proviso, you know. Unless you get a lot of exercise, then it's even more. A person who lives to 70 will take about 588,672,000 breaths in a lifetime. 588,672 Dharma gates. Each of those breaths is a Dharma gate. Even if you only count the awake ones. So you could say half of 588 million, whatever that is. Oh, you only got 200 million. 200 million minimum, if you live to 70, You got 200 million Dharma gates.

[45:45]

So this entry into... Excuse me. This... Sorry. This entry into boundlessness, this entry into inconceivability is always there, always ready, always available. People think that, I think people think, I'm not sure, but I think that people think that Zen is about some teaching. or some special knowledge, some special insight, and that the difficulty of Zen is in getting this special thing.

[46:52]

You have to sit long time and knock yourself out and go crazy and go sane and so on and so forth. And maybe if you're lucky, you'll get this special thing and have a big experience and then and then you'll be on easy street after that. But I think Zen is about meeting each thing as Buddha Dharma. To be able to look at one's own death, imminent demise, and say, this is interesting. This will be interesting. That's Zen practice. That's Zen realization. That's the realization of Zen. And that's difficult to do. Difficult to practice entering each thing as a Dharma gate.

[47:57]

Entering each thing, meeting each thing as Buddha Dharma. That's very difficult to do. but worth, worthwhile, worth the difficulty, worth the effort, even if we just get it a little bit. So before closing, I did want to bring Suzuki Roshi more fully into this Dharma talk because what I've been saying is completely based on my understanding. of his teaching. So on June 22nd, 1969, he gave a Dharma talk. So that's almost exactly 50 years ago.

[49:00]

50 years and a week, or two weeks, he gave a Dharma talk. That Dharma talk later became part of the compilation of his talks called Not Always So. And somebody gave that Dharma talk, I think it was Ed Brown, gave that Dharma talk the title, Direct Experience of Reality. So in Not Always So is his Dharma talk, Direct Experience of Reality. And in that talk, toward the end, Suzuki Roshi says this. What is important is to extend our way of life deeper and wider. To have a beautiful ceramic bowl is not necessary when you are ready to appreciate things.

[50:05]

Whatever it is, things will encourage your practice. Even if you injure your body, it is all right. Even if you die, it is all right. When we are encouraged by everything and realize everything is always helping us, then even if we die, it is all right, quite all right. So what is important is to extend our way of life deeper and wider.

[51:34]

When we receive the diagnosis of our death, when we're sitting at the intersection early in the morning, when we're eating breakfast, when we're washing up, At all the innumerable Dharma gates, we enter the Dharma gate. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. That's the story of practice. As best we can. Mostly not. Mostly missing, that's true. Mostly we miss our opportunity. That's too pessimistic. Sometimes we miss. But anyway, this is our effort to extend our way of life, to extend our life deeper and wider.

[52:44]

And to do so, we don't need anything fancy, even anything beautiful. Green Gulch is a very beautiful place. This is a very beautiful room. That used to be a barn when we first moved in here. There was a big stack of hay bales. There's a big bunch of hay bales over there because it was the hay bale storage room. It was the barn. And now it's a very beautiful space with beautiful statues and beautiful flowers and beautiful everything. To have a beautiful ceramic bowl is not necessary when we are ready to appreciate things, when we're ready to practice, when we make the effort to practice. It doesn't have to be a beautiful cup or... To have a beautiful ceramic bowl

[53:59]

is not necessary. To have a beautiful ceramic experience is not necessary. To have a beautiful ceramic enlightenment is not necessary. When we are ready to appreciate things, when we're ready to appreciate things, even something not so beautiful, not so lovely, even something difficult and painful can be our Dharma gate. our point of entry, our point of practice, our point of realization. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support.

[55:08]

For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[55:20]

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