Good afternoon. I don't know what's going to happen. We have warnings of a power outage. It was supposed to be at 6, so I thought it might just disappear. All of a sudden, I'd let you all know that might happen. We have big high winds coming in, apparently, and some great fire danger again, just when the clouds were clearing away. So I've just heard an update. It might not go off until 8. So we'll probably be okay for a meeting right now. So I'm going to ring the bell and we can sit together for a little bit. And then I'm going to start talking about Vasubandhu. Hello again.

[06:06]

So... Buddhism. It's such a big bag. And the more I look in it, the more there's in there seems to be producing when my back has turned. But anyway, I've really been enjoying looking through this Transmission of Light text. And I was just thinking now while I was sitting that it's a little bit like dipping into each of these stories of these ancestors, because that's what this book is. It's 53 stories of the Zen ancestors. It's a little bit like the practice of sewing your robes. For those of you who have sewn Yuraksu, you know, you just do this one stitch completely and then it disappears and you bring the thread up and you do another one and another one. Little by little, you have this pattern that runs through time. just as these ancestors' names run through time. So we're way back in time talking about Nagarjuna's second century. Now we're looking at Vasubanda. So we're starting to move up through the centuries, closer and closer to our own contemporary understanding, effort to understand Zen.

[07:17]

What is it that was brought here to us to try and to decode? There's a code, very clearly a code about how all of this fits together. So for the past few weeks, I was talking about our Zen ancestor, Nagarjuna, who also is known as the second Buddha. And he's viewed as the founder of the Majamaka or the middle way school, whose primary emphasis and identity is the teaching of emptiness. Which, as we have been taught by Nagarjuna, is equivalent to the teaching of dependent core rising. I don't know if you remember the green diamond from last week, but you have the middle way or non-duality, the inside of the Buddha when he looked at the star, non-separation, universe is not outside or separate from oneself. That experiential knowing followed by his intellectual understanding, which he expressed in words and language. And Nagarjuna picking up on that inspiration from the Buddha.

[08:21]

The Buddha taught the middle way in his first sermon, avoid the middle way, dualistic thinking. Is there something or isn't there something? That's dualism, meaning there are two things that are being weighed against one another. So Nagarjuna, I mean, yes, Nagarjuna added to that formula. So is something we might say is the conventional world, the world of appearances. There appears to be something. There is something. So it seems. And the other side of that, that the emptiness there... doesn't really anything. If you analyze what there is, you won't find anything like what you think. So we have the form is something, emptiness, not really. And then at the bottom, conventional designation, the linchpin of language, of explanations of how we humans are basically destined or could be doomed to try to explain things in language. And that's the horse that we ride. So there's much dualism that arises.

[09:26]

And when language is being used, not even, but especially within the tradition, which focuses on non-duality, this issue of two things being in opposition to one another appears again and again and again. And it's a little bit like a writing mechanism. You know, like how do you bring these two sides into equilibrium so they're balanced? One doesn't outweigh the other. There is not more is than there is isn't. So basically, the emptiness teachings tends to lean a little bit too heavily into the isn't side. And the corrective for that is this study we're about to look at, which is the mind-only Yogacara teaching. So the emptiness school, Nagarjuna's passion and interest and scholarship is all based on the Prajnaparamita Sutras. the Great Wisdom Beyond Wisdom Sutras, which we are most familiar with in the Heart Sutra, the one we chant daily.

[10:28]

But there's also the Diamond Sutra, which is a very important text, and the 8,000-line Prajna Paramita text, which, if you don't know it, it's actually readable. It's challenging, but it's not challenging in a way that you can understand. It's just the persistence of the message of emptiness becomes really challenging to understand. maintain a kind of fresh look at how this teaching is being rolled out. So emptiness and dependent core rising are not separate. No phenomena is missing one of those two sides. So dependent core rising and emptiness are the same, and yet we can discuss them differently. They're different ways of perceiving the same world or the same object. Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form. We hear that again and again. How do we know it? How do we come to know it as an experience or as a confidence that we have? So this evening, I'm going to, as I said, start talking about the other great philosophical traditions.

[11:33]

Here again, we have two things. We have the middle way teaching, emptiness school on the one side. And then we have the mind only teachings as a balance to the emptiness teachings. So there's a little more going on in the mind only teachings, a little more juice. There's actually something being said. It's not a series of negations like we're used to. No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, and so on, leaving very little to scrape up off the bottom of the floor. But the Yogacara has a whole lot of stuff going on, which I find really interesting, very engaging. And so I'll be bringing some of that to you. So for those of you who would like to have something to read on your own, there's a wonderful book that came out in 2016. by a Soto Zen student by the name of Ben Conley in Minnesota. Lovely man. He came and talked at Green Gulch last year, I think it was. So this is a practitioner's guide, and it's called Inside Vasubandhu's Yogacara.

[12:35]

Inside Vasubandhu's Yogacara, which is exactly what we're going to be looking at. If you get a hold of this and work your way through it, it's very readable. Very easy and a lot of humor. Ben's a very funny guy. Norman Fisher has written the introduction. So I find it extremely helpful, as you can see. Another one of these books. I have lots of little post-its in it. So there are a couple of verses that I learned a long time ago that helped me to remember the distinction, kind of tonal, really, or attitudinal distinction between these two schools, the middle way school, emptiness, and the mind-only school, which is more like fullness, you could say, like a full mind, wholehearted. Maybe words like that might fit in to the Yogacara approach. So these verses are, the first one is, when the babies are crying, you say, this very mind is Buddha.

[13:36]

When the babies are crying, you say, this very mind is Buddha, which is a kind of comforting, soothing thing to say. And that's the mind-only school. It has the sound of some grounding to it. There is something. There's this mind. Then this mind is Buddha. Your very mind is Buddha. So even though the ground is imaginary, as are all grounds, all groundings, all ideations, still it's a kind of ideation that we find comforting. So the babies are crying. This very mind is Buddha. And the next verse, representing the Majamaka or middle-way school, when the babies stop crying, then you say, no mind, no Buddha. No Santa Claus. So, as you might guess, this is the middle way school, the emptiness teachings, which is intended to pull that very ground out that you just had slipped onto you by the Yogacara. So this next series of classes, I'm going to basically introduce to you some of the terms and the teachers and the texts that are most important for an understanding of the mind-only school.

[14:48]

In the Transmission of Light, the text that we're currently walking through at a rather leisurely pace, by Keizan Joken, who is the fourth ancestor after Dogen, Japanese Soto Zen master and great disseminator of Soto Zen. We owe Keizan great gratitude in terms of, if you'd like to be part of a big event, Soto Zen is a pretty big event, thanks to Keizan. This translation is done by Thomas Cleary. And we are now having zipped through a couple of the earlier chapters, we are now on chapter 22. which is Vasubandhu. So this chapter begins with the usual koan in which the awakened teacher has brought the student into a deeper understanding of reality, which is the very place that we all want to go, to a deeper understanding of reality, and of course that means of ourselves. So here's the koan.

[15:50]

Jayata, that's the visiting teacher, says i do not seek the way yet i am not confused i do not pay obeisance to buddha yet i do not disregard buddha either i do not sit for long periods yet i am not lazy i do not limit my meals yet i do not eat indiscriminately either i am not contented yet i am not greedy when the mind does not seek anything. This is called the way. When Vasubandhu heard this, he discovered uncontaminated knowledge. So this is another term for he woke up. He finished his work. He was already pretty close, but he had this kind of final little nudge from Jayata. So this introductory teaching is followed by a brief biography of Vasubandhu, which is in accordance with Kezon's 13th century scholarship.

[16:56]

So whatever was available in the 13th century is what Kezon bases his biography of Vasubandhu and all of the other ancestors on. Modern scholarship has greatly elaborated on who Vasubandhu was and on his body of work. But for this evening, I thought that I would read through the pages of the three pages of Vasubandhu's story that's located in the text, The Transmission of Light, and point out some of the key teachings that Kaesan is using Vasubandhu to illuminate. So he's using the story of Vasubandhu, but then he's promoting basic view or basic doctrine of Soto Zen. So... When Vasubandhu, this is a little bit about his history, Vasubandhu became a Buddhist monk when he was 15 years old. Not uncommon. I think Dogen was around that age as well. And subsequently, he became a leading debater. Eventually, the Buddhist master Jayata came to Vasubandhu's area on a teaching journey, expounding the doctrine of sudden enlightenment.

[18:10]

So this is a very important point. I underlined that one in red. And there he found a group of students of philosophy whose chief was Vasubandhu. So Jayata is on pilgrimage. He's kind of a missionary for the sudden enlightenment teachings, which is a very important, another one of these dualistic ideas that is running through the Buddhist camps. Is enlightenment sudden or is it gradual? Do you all of a sudden kind of catch it? And then you're free? Or does it take many generations, many rebirths, or even throughout your lifetime, doing lots of arduous practice in order to awaken? This has been a very important and much narrated debate in the Zen school in particular. So as soon as Jayata had come to this area where Basakwanda is teaching, he begins to expound this sudden enlightenment view. So another name for it is subitism. Subitism, like all of a sudden you understand everything.

[19:13]

You cut right through a layer of concerns or a layer of concepts and you go, oh, I get it. I get it. So sudden enlightenment is still a very popular idea in the Zen camps. And it arises from a belief that an insight into one's own nature, your own true nature, the true nature of reality, which is Buddha nature, is sudden and it's complete and it's at a glance. Just you got it. And then you are basically Buddha. Now you've done the work. You've cut through it. So this teaching is usually posited in opposition to the teachings of gradual or step-by-step approach to awakening, requiring years, guidance, practices, teachings, hours and hours of meditation, lots of dharma study, you know, And then little by little, one morning, you've kind of matured. You're a mature Dharma student, and the veil of whatever's left just kind of flutters off.

[20:15]

So this idea particularly involves the idea of defilements. Like, what are the things that are holding you back? What's holding you back? I remember when I was at Tassar years ago, we were waiting for the senior students. Mostly at that time, they were mostly guys, you know, great big guys. I used to call them the varsity squad. So they all had shaved heads and they were pretty large. This was the era of... Better to go to a Zen monastery than to get drafted. So a lot of them, a lot of these guys had come to practice Zen, and they were young in their 20s, and many of them got ordained. So they would come down to Tazahara for the head student's questioning ceremony, where each student gets to ask the head monk a question. You know, it's kind of call and response. It's a very kind of a quick, you don't get, it's not a long chat. You get a question, what is Buddha? And then... student, head student, answers your questions. So anyway, so these defilements, oh, I know, I was going to say, so when I was standing there, the carloads of these senior monks were unloading from, and getting their luggage out, and they all had giant bag, duffel bags with them and stuff, and one of them, a guy named David Chadwick, who you may have heard of, because he's helped

[21:37]

collect a lot of material about Suzuki Roshi and most famously Crooked Cucumber, which is one of the books that David's put together. Anyway, David at that time was quite a character. He still is. But he got out of the car and he yelled at everybody, you people are holding me back. There you go. That's the problem. That's you people. So anyway, these are the... the defilements that are clouding us over, we would all be enlightened if it just weren't for you people or just weren't for those ideas that we have about whatever it is, clouds covering the moon. So either these clouds are blown away suddenly, or it takes a while. It takes many seasons, many storms, many learnings in order for that to happen. So the roots of these two ideas about the path actually can be found in India. They aren't simply Chinese Zen or Japanese Zen. They go way, way back, sudden versus gradual awakening. And so these ideas were transmitted into China and the Chan school dealt with them in various ways, including a very famous story that took place in the eighth century in a debate that famously was settled as a result of a competition between two monks.

[22:52]

One was a very long time senior practitioner He was the head monk of the temple and expected to become the Dharma heir, a successor of the fifth ancestor, Hongren. And the other was a rice pounder. illiterate woodcutter who showed up at the temple and the teacher realized he had something going for him, but he sent him down to pound rice because the guy was so uncouth. He wasn't like one of these really well put together monks who'd been in the monastery for a while and knew how to wear their robes and all of that. So this competition took place along a wall. There was a wall outside the teacher's quarters. And they were offered the opportunity to write a verse or poem on that wall. And so in the middle of the night, the head monk went and wrote his verse. He was a little embarrassed because he wasn't sure, actually, of his own understanding. And then the rice pounder, Hui Nong, asked a monk to please take him upstairs and show him the verse.

[23:59]

He couldn't read it himself, but he asked the young monk, would you read that for me? And so the monk did, kind of laughed at him, like, what would you know? And so he read to him the verse that the head monk had written. And the verse was, the body is a tree of enlightenment. The mind is like a clear mirror stand. Time and time again, wipe it diligently. Wipe that mirror. Don't let the dust alight. Don't let anything cloud the moon. Don't let those clouds gather. Keep it clean. That's the poem of the senior monk. And Huynong said, well, I mean, yeah, Huynong said, well, that's pretty nice, but he doesn't really understand. And so this monk who was with him said, you're really arrogant. You know, he said, yeah, maybe. But why don't you write down what I would like you to write? And so he did. And the poem that Huynong wrote was, enlightenment is basically not a tree and the clear mirror, not a stand. Fundamentally, there is not a single thing.

[25:03]

Where can dust collect? So this must ring a bell, I would hope, for you all with the heart sutra. No eyes, no mirror, no mind, no stand. Where are you going to land? Where's the dust going to land? What is it blocking the moon? No moon. So this is the emptiness teaching. So Hoi Nung has somehow rather quickly mastered the emptiness teaching. In fact, the story is that he... He heard a certain one line being recited from the Diamond Sutra, Prajnaparamita text, while he was out delivering wood. And that one line woke him up. And that's why he went to the monastery, because he had this amazing understanding. And so he went and found a teacher. And the teacher found him and said, you're actually my guy. And you better run, which he did, because the other monks were really upset. So that's another part of the story, which if you'd like to read the story of Huynong, it's a wonderful sutra called the Platform Sutra, which has this whole narrative in it and then what happens after that and so on.

[26:08]

A lot of very famous stories that you know from Zen take place in the Platform Sutra. Like is the mind, is the wind moving or is the flag moving? No, no, it's your mind that's moving. That's Huynong, that's in that Platform Sutra. So the Platform Sutra represents what became known as the Southern School, the Southern School of Zen or the School of Sudden Awakening. That's our lineage. That's our branch of the branching streams. We branch off from there. We come through Huino. So the shift from gradual to sudden in Zen was also marked by a doctrinal shift from the teachings of the Yogacara school, the mind-only school, which were quite dominant. In the early years of Zen, it was something that surprised me when I learned about that, that Bodhidharma brought the Lankapatara Sutra with him, which is a Yogachara Sutra. It's not a Prajnaparamita Sutra. So, you know, Bodhidharma said, this is the only book you need.

[27:10]

So the first Chinese Zen ancestors, Bodhidharma, brought the mind-only teaching. He gave it to the second, third, fourth, fifth ancestors, all had been teachers of this mind-only Lankapatara. Along comes Hway Nong, the illiterate, he hadn't read the Lankavatara, he hadn't read anything, but he hears this Diamond Cutter Sutra and wakes up. So from that point on in our history, Lankavatara teaching becomes secondary. That book gets kind of put away. In fact, I don't know too many people who read the Lankavatara Sutra, although it's quite wonderful. I read some of it, not all of it. So they kind of put that away, and on top of it came the Prajnaparamita Sutras, the Heart Sutra, and the Diamond Sutra, the one that Huynong owed his enlightenment to. So that becomes a preeminent text. So this is a big turn from Yogacara to the Middle Way, the Majamaka school.

[28:12]

So here's what Huynong heard when he was out there delivering wood. He heard a monk chanting from the Diamond Sutra, and the line that woke him up was, a bodhisattva should produce a thought unsupported by sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touchables, or mind. Mind of no abode. Rev. Anderson has a temple where many of his students meet up the road from Green Gulch. He called it the mind of no abode. Mind is no abode. You should have a mind unsupported by sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touchables, or mind. What is it for the dust? Where is it for the dust to alight? So in this story, chapter 22 of the transmission of light, these two Indian masters, Jayata and Vasubandhu, are basically foreshadowing this later story in the Chinese Zen tradition between

[29:17]

Huynong and his competition for the discipleship of the fifth ancestor. So Jayata meets Vasubandha and hears about his extreme practices of asceticism, of purification, which is the hallmark of the gradual awakening. You spend a lot of time cleaning up your act and sorting through your defilements and your hateful thoughts and your pure thought. And you've spent a lot of time really rectifying your own person, making yourself into a kind of a vessel, a worthy vessel of the Dharma. And this is a noble endeavor. It's limited, however. to an idea of yourself. So here's about Vasubandhu. Vasubandhu always limited his meals to once a day. He never lay down to sleep and performed ritual obeisance to an image of the Buddha six times a day.

[30:21]

He was pure and desireless, regarded as an ideal by his group, by his students. So he purified. As you may recall, the earlier teachings, the primary text of the first turning teachings is called the path of purification. And there's all kinds of practices you can do to purify yourself. It's like eating, sleeping, certainly sex is one of them, not, and not lying. So all precepts, like maintaining the precepts, a very high level of attention. Jayata, now Jayata arrives, and here's this very pure guy who his students adore. They just idealize him, and he's worthy of it. Jayata wants to liberate Vasubandhu. He can see there's a problem there. So he first asks the group, he asks Vasubandhu students, this ascetic, Vasubandhu, practices pure conduct well, but can he attain the Buddha way? The group says, our teacher is very diligent.

[31:25]

How could there be anything wrong with him? Jayata says, your teacher is far from the way. Even if one practices asceticism for eons, it is all the root of illusion. The group then says, what virtue do you have that you criticize our teacher? And Jayata says, I don't seek enlightenment. And yet I'm not confused. And so on, this opening koan. This is his response to the students, you know. I don't pay obeisance to Buddha, but I don't disregard the Buddha. I do not sit for long periods, yet I'm not lazy. I don't limit my meals, yet I don't eat indiscriminately. I am not contented and I am not greedy. When the mind does not seek anything, this is called the way. So this is Jayata's response to Vasubandhu's students about who are you? to criticize our teacher. Jayata also says to the group, do you understand my words?

[32:29]

My reason for saying what I did? What I did is that his search for enlightenment was too eager. So Vasubandhu was too eager. He was trying to get something. He says, if the harp string is too tight, it will snap. Therefore, I did not praise him. This is Jayata speaking. Therefore, I did not praise this fine monk. He's already too tight. But I made him abide in the state of peace and enter into the knowledge of all Buddhas. So he basically brought him into a state of not knowing. Vasubananda must have trusted this man. He must have had something about him that he trusted because he basically didn't protest. He just stopped. So this is called shamatha. Tranquility. Just stop. Just stop. As the Buddha said to Angulimala, who was chasing him, the mass murderer who was trying to get him. Angulimala says, stop, stop.

[33:33]

And the Buddha turns to him and says, you stop. You stop. So Jayata has stopped Vasubandha in his tracks and has him doing shamatha, tranquility, the base of which is the foundation for Vipassana, insight. So first you calm, then you can see. Calm the mind, discern the real. Calm your mind. Step one, discern the real. Insight, step two. This is classic. All the Buddhist traditions hold the same to be. You have to calm down first. Calm down. Take a break. Okay, now what? Now what are you going to do? What's the right action here from a calm mind? In this story in particular, we find the most essential secret of study of the way. If you think there's a Buddhahood to attain and a way to find, and if you fast or you do ascetic exercises with that thought of getting something and gaining an idea, or sit for long periods of time without lying down, or do prostrations and recite scriptures trying to build up merits for attaining the way, all of this is raining flowers.

[34:53]

in the flowerless sky. Fantasies. Making holes where there are no holes, like in the ocean. Even if you pass eons in this way, you will never have a bit of liberation. Indeed, not craving anything is called the way. Not craving anything is called the way. Just stop at feelings. Desire is the source of suffering. Craving is the source of suffering. Feelings are retribution. You can't do much about them. They come unbidden. They just show up. They come from your past, from your memories. We all have feelings. They can be very strong or they can be mild. Either way, let them sit. Sit with them. Care for them. Appreciate them. You know, soothe them. But don't indulge them. Don't go after whatever they're saying. Calm the mind.

[35:58]

And then you discern what you really want. What do you really want? Not craving anything is called the way. So even if it is contentment that you want, that too is based on greed. So if you must indulge in sitting for a long time, this is the error of attachment to the body. If you'd eat only twice a day, this is still seeing a lot of food, thinking about food. And if you would do prostrations and recite scriptures, this is making flowers in your eyes, blocking your view. Therefore, every one of these practices is based on illusion. It is not your original self. Not craving anything is called the way. The disciples of Buddha set up various kinds of pure regulations to show the disciplined behavior of Buddhas and Zen masters.

[37:03]

Clinging to them obsessively becomes an affliction, however a passion. Furthermore, if you must reject birth and death to seek the way beyond, yet you cannot cut off the beginningless process of dying in one place and being born in another. You're not in charge. Coming and going is coming and going. What state would you consider to be attainment of the way? When are you going to call it? Yet you want to seek the way while still caught up in all these things. It is all a misunderstanding. This is the sudden awakening of just this is it. You're already there. This is it. This is it. What further Buddhahood to attain do you see? What sentient beings do you see who can be deluded? There is no one who is deluded.

[38:04]

There is no doctrine to realize. For this reason, though we speak of overturning delusion to attain enlightenment or of transforming ordinary people into sages, all of this is talk for people who are not yet enlightened. What ordinariness is there to transform? What delusion is there to awaken from? It's like the dust on the mirror, right? What dust? What mirror? What problem? Can't find it. Not that it doesn't show up. Just try to get it. Try to grab the dust. Try to grab the problem. Where is it? What is it? Just whispers, right? Keep whispering. Okay. This is why Zen Master Jishan said, clearly there is no phenomenon of enlightenment. The doctrine of enlightenment deludes people. Stretch out your legs and sleep. There is no falsehood and there is no reality.

[39:06]

That's the kind of teacher we had to try out for once. Stretch out your legs and sleep. Take a break. The essence of the way is truly like this. Here's the big yet, and yet. You know, they let you go so long with the kind of hope that it's just gonna be, we're all gonna be at the ice cream parlor for the rest of our practice days. And yet, even though this be so, beginners, beginner's mind, that's us guys, should study carefully to actually arrive at this stage of equanimity and peace. So, for if you yourself have no genuine understanding you may be deluded by the words of others. So if you try to lift your eyes to see, you're going to be invaded by the Buddha demon. Today, even though you hear such talk and you understand there is nothing to attain, yet if a teacher tells you there is some doctrine to realize, or if a Buddha demon comes and tells you there is some method to practice, ultimately your mind will be stirred and you will go astray.

[40:12]

If you're not solid in knowing that there's nothing to get, you know, that not knowing is nearest, if that isn't really a solid truth for you, you're just going to think, well, maybe that's true. You know, we'll just wander off like the Pied Piper bringing the kids out of town. Now, accepting the true teaching of all Buddhas and investigating it carefully and thoroughly, you should reach the realm where you yourself are at peace. So again, back to shamatha. finding the practices which bring you peace and comfort, calming down. So breath practice, sitting practice, walking practice, friendship practice, bathing, eating wholesome food, smiling. These practices that bring you peace. Someone who has attained peace is like someone who has had enough to eat. Even a regal feast would no longer be appealing. I'm sorry, I'm full. can't eat another bite. This is why it's said that fine food is not for the satisfied to eat.

[41:19]

An ancients said, once troubled, finally at rest. Same troubled being comes to rest. When you look carefully, your own original mind does not see Buddha, does not see sentient beings. How could there be any delusion to reject or any enlightenment to seek? Ever since the Zen founder came from India to get people to see directly, Zen teachers have had people sit up single-mindedly and rest peacefully in themselves without question of their learning or of their experience. When people come to Zen Center, they don't bring their resumes. It's like, wow, where did you go to school? We kind of ask them to fill out some stuff, like your parents, your insurance, or whatever it is. But basically, it's like it doesn't matter what you've been doing or what positions you have. It was interesting, but it has very little to do with the reasons that we are practicing together.

[42:24]

Just sitting there in the Zen Center together, nobody stands out from anybody else. It's just this wonderful. You know, equanimous plateau of quiet city. Really lovely. You have thought mistaken what has never been mistaken. Do not waste time just concerning yourself with the frost on other people's yards. And forget about the treasury in your own home. Don't waste your time concerning yourself with the frost on other people's yards. And forget about the treasure in your own home. So now you have met a close friend. Do not hope for enlightenment on another day far in the future. Just look within your own heart. Examine carefully. Do not seek from another. Do not seek from another. That's kill the Buddha. You think the Buddha is over there. Kill that Buddha. The Buddha is the one in your heart.

[43:26]

The one that sees with compassion and with generosity and so on. That's the Buddha. The Buddha scene is that kind of scene. If you can do this, hundreds of thousands of teachings and boundless Buddha works all flow from here, all flow from that heart, your heart, covering the heavens and the earth, just don't seek the way. All you need to do is maintain your true self, your true heart. That's it. It's all about this one. This one. opening to that one. And then there's no two things. It's just this one is a gift to that one and back the other way and back again. Likewise, if you do not know the existence of your true self, even though it has always been with you, you are like someone holding something in his hands while at the same time looking here and there for that very thing. I'm sure most of you may have done that at one time trying to find your keys and they're in your hand. It is really embarrassing.

[44:29]

But it happens. What a mistake this is. This is just forgetting one's true self. Now, as we look at the matter closely, the sublime path of the Buddhas and the pure tradition of the Zen masters, too, are in this one thing alone. You should not doubt this. When you reach this stage, you will not doubt what the Zen masters have to say. In the foregoing story, it says that when Vasubandhu heard this, he realized uncontaminated knowledge. If you want to realize uncontaminated knowledge, you should maintain your true self. If you want to maintain your true self, you should know that from birth to death, it is just this. There is not a single mote of dust to reject, not a single doctrine to grasp.

[45:30]

And don't particularly think of realizing uncontaminated knowledge either. As usual, I have a humble saying to explain the story. This is Kezon's humble saying. The wind traverses the vast sky. Clouds emerge from the mountains. Feelings of enlightenment and things of the world are of no concern. at all. Form and emptiness with no concern at all. Ending all concern. And go to work. That's it. That's how you go to work with that kind of spirit. It's a kind of confidence. It's based on having given up whatever ambition you may have had. OK, so that's what I wanted to share. with you all and I'm really happy to open the conversation to all of you if you'd like to bring up your own thoughts or your anything as we're coming around the corner of this very high anxiety time we're all in fire and water and windstorms and presidential elections and what else could there be can't see each other can't go to the store Tassajara is closed

[46:52]

Green Gulch is closed. What are we going to do? I don't know why I'm smiling, actually. Maybe it's just because it's too much. Once it's too much, what's left? Well, I don't know. What's next? Please feel free to speak out. Enjoy it when you do. Hi, Heather. It's nice to see you. Nice to see you as well. That last thing that you said actually rang a bell about how there's a kind of confidence in not knowing. Yeah. I was thinking yesterday about a long time ago, I told a friend that if you're a parent, you don't have the luxury of Zen.

[48:04]

And what I meant was you have this little person and part of your job is to help them integrate their self. something that is helpful when you're trying to do that is for them to feel safe. So if you emphasize not knowing that you don't know too much, it's very disruptive to these little people. Or it can be. If the parent doesn't know, you mean? What? You mean if the parent doesn't know? Yes. But what I was thinking about yesterday is that there is this sort of confidence in not knowing.

[49:05]

And if you carry that in your body, you can say that you don't know. You don't know what happens when somebody dies, you know. You can't promise them that you're going to live to be 100. That even though you don't know if you have that in your body, your child can sometimes feel it. And that's very valuable. So you don't have to lie. But you do have to have that faith in not knowing and what it means. And it doesn't just mean that you're off in space and, you know, horrible things can happen at any time. And, you know, you don't have to be saying that and you don't have to be saying to your three-year-old, well, you know, really you don't exist.

[50:08]

Yeah, no, that's not skillful, right? They'll tell you that you don't exist. Oh, yeah. No, I've definitely heard that in many forms. And so far, it hasn't stopped. My oldest is 19. But I appreciated you using that word confidence because I was actually struggling to come up with the word when I was thinking about it yesterday. And it's just kind of this contentment with not knowing that helps a little bit. Thank you. I remember my therapist talking about, as a parent, being the seawall, that the kids are the ocean. They just keep hitting on you. Your job is to just be steady. I think Zen's a great training for that. Can I stay upright here while this thing's happening here before my very eyes? Can I stay calm?

[51:12]

Can I not know what to do? Not know how to meet the frustration and the anger or whatever it is? And can I be patient with it? Can I hold it? Can I be the seawall? And I found that very helpful as a parent. I was an old parent, so I really felt like I was way behind. I hadn't been young for so long. I'm old now. Yeah, it does age you. I started practicing when my oldest was two and a half. And I remember sort of realizing that I didn't have to take his tantrums personally. A good one. But I shortly after that realized that I didn't have to take my own tantrums personally either. And that got me through some hard times. That's even bigger. Yeah, it was a bigger deal.

[52:14]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. Raising children, whether you do or don't, there's so much that happens having been raised yourself. You've got that part, too. It's quite amazing. Another great teaching from parenting that helped me a lot, which helps me now with meeting students, is you love the person, you love the child, but you don't like the behavior. And to really be able to separate those two things. And I think that works well with humanity. Like, I love humanity, but some of this behavior has to stop. You know, it's not okay. That's another one I use on myself. I sometimes don't love my own behavior, but that's no excuse for, you know, disapproving. A friend of mine told me once that parenthood is one long session with no exit. No kidding. That's not right. Yeah, it's definitely true.

[53:15]

I haven't found it yet if there is a necklace. Well, then they go away. I won't have one. She went away. That's the best case scenario, though. That's the best case scenario. You hope to thank you. Yeah, the love doesn't go away. Thanks, Heather. Thank you. Hey, Lisa. Good evening. Thank you. Both you and Heather. Another mother. My son's 22nd birthday today. Wow. Happy birthday. It is. He was the one who brought me to Zen. Good boy. A good boy. The teaching that someone gave me not too long ago was Remember, every day is a good day.

[54:16]

And I think it's part of a koan. You froze every minute. I didn't hear you. You froze. Everyone did, actually. Maybe it was me. Go ahead. The teaching was every day is a good day. And I think it is part of a koan. And, you know, I keep trying to hold that. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just kind of like, just see it. See how it's so, you know, even when it's all creepy. You know, like, well, you know, taking a couple of breaths really gets me through some creepy things. You know, like, oh, I'm so scared. I'm reading the news and I get really scared and upset. And then I take a few breaths and look outside and feel more like a little kid. Like, gee. What a beautiful world.

[55:19]

And Creepy comes back, but still, good to take breaks. Yeah. It will be there. It will be there when we're ready, when we come back. Yeah. So I'm from the East Coast, and my prayers are with you. Are you in the East Coast right now? I'm in Massachusetts. Oh, my gosh. How would we know that? No way to tell. Welcome to California. So I hope it goes well for you. Thank you. The wind hasn't come yet. It's like I'm looking out at trees and nothing yet. So I guess it's going to be really huge. It's going to be a bit of a hurry. You could just stay away. That'd be fine.

[56:23]

Thanks anyway. Have you all considered possibly acquiring Transmission of Light? Because the more I go through it, the more I realize that each one of these is just a gem. Each story is a gem. And kind of an enlightenment hint. You know, if you need a little... that vitamin, enlightenment, vitamin pill. And each one of these stories is like that. And I'm going to be walking through them, you know, in a little bit of order, but not too fast. But after Vasubandhu and introducing the Yogachara, I think we're going to be in China. So we'll start with Bodhidharma's arrival from India. So we'll be leaving India and going to China, where the Chan School begins to form. And then after Bodhidharma... Quenung, Sixth Ancestor, who I just mentioned. And then we'll be getting, you know, from there, we're going to be moving to Japan and meet up with Dogen.

[57:24]

Then the deep end of the pool. Hi, Bill. Hi, Kelly. Finn, you there too? Oh, yeah. Great. Good. Hi, Fu. It's Kelly. Hi, Kelly. I had a question or sometimes I get confused about where you try and where you stop trying, like with inside Zen, trying, trying to have a good practice, but then you shouldn't be trying. And then, you know, some of the teachings tonight had brought that up for me in terms of those ascetic practices, you know, maybe that, maybe the ones he was doing was too much, but you need to be doing some. And I guess that's the middle way, but that's right. Sometimes that can be confusing figuring out trying, but I'm, trying not to try or, you know. Yeah. Yeah, well, there's a lot of things in that. You know, one of them is to what is trying anyway?

[58:27]

What does that mean? What does that feel like? Am I trying? Am I trying? You know, I could say I'm trying and people might believe me, you know, but am I? Was that trying? Was that my best trying? Am I going to try later? So part of it is just studying our vocabulary. Like we apply various... attributes to ourselves, you know, which are maybe ahead of or behind or not in sync with what we're actually experiencing. You know, so when I'm trying, like one of my teachers used to say, I love to run uphill because then I know I'm not goofing off. You know, it's like, what is it that feels like trying or effort? You know, when is it there's actually some genuine effort that's being brought forth from us, whether it's study or exercise or... whatever the thing is that you're trying to do. And then my therapist used to say, trying doesn't count. You just got to do something. So I think there's that too. It's the action.

[59:27]

Within the action, there's not much judgment. When I'm making the thing or doing something or whatever, putting things together, when I'm really in it, there's no trying there. There's no valuation. So I think the trying has to do with you're not really doing it, you know? So yeah. And like the Pope said recently, who am I to judge? You know, it's really not a good thing to be doing. And if he can say that, we can all say that, you know, having a focus on the goal rather than being with the process. Right. Right. which is what, you know, being an artist and with my students, teaching art always, a lot of these ideas, I relate back to that. So if you're so focused on the end product, you're not engaged and you might miss something. Yeah. You have this notion of what it's supposed to be.

[60:30]

Yeah. Yeah. Art's a great way to study these issues. You know, it's so good because you can't pretend, you can't fake it, you know. You did draw that. That is yours. And then the kindness of your fellow artists. I took a beginning class for a while, which was so fun. And the teacher said, now put your work up there, and we'll all critique it. And I said, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do a terrible little thing I just drew. She said, no, no, no, that's what we do. You put it up there, and we're all going to critique it. And I thought, that sounded like torture. And it was wonderful. I had drawn an apple. And somebody said, you know, if you put a little dark shadow under there, it'll come out of the sky and go on the ground. So I did. It was like, whoop. That was fantastic. So people will help you. Critique is a great, is my favorite thing. You know, I love to critique the students. If I can convince them that's what it is and not criticism. Yeah, when you call it a critique, that's what's scary.

[61:32]

Yeah, that's scary. What do you call it? Is there another euphemism? Well, we call it critique, but I think it does put a negative spin on it, and it really is a discussion, right? Yeah, well, we were all really bad. I mean, none of us was any good. She was a high school art teacher, and none of us had ever drawn. You know, we all wanted to learn how to draw, so we were a great audience for her. She could make us feel really good about these little goofy things. Anyway. yeah not having to be an artist is really a gift just to do art is totally fun yeah this is good stuff it's all good stuff and uh having to do with uh i was just thinking about like the trying aspect of things and how it's like there's not really a gauge of like one person's trying their best is going to look a lot different than someone else's trying their best and

[62:34]

It reminded me of like this talk I was having with a friend recently where they were telling me about how cravings are like somewhat related to like the B vitamin levels in our body and engaging in activities that like activate the pleasure centers, deplete our B vitamins. And so that's kind of the mechanism for craving. And one of those, like she was talking specifically about sugar and how it's hidden in all these different foods. And if you eat sugar, that's going to activate those centers, deplete the B vitamins and make you crave sugar more than that might make you crave other things as well, even like unrelated to whatever the thing it is that you just indulged in, which I thought was like, and then how that ties into trying where that, where there's not really, it's like a physical process and like something might take a lot more effort to resist just based on your body chemistry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real recommendation for B vitamins, isn't it? Well, exercise too, I think she said, because that helps you absorb it.

[63:37]

Maybe we should serve that in the coffee tea area. But extra vitamins keep their big passions under control. Was it B, 16? What'd you say? Which one? I think B, just like a general, I maybe, I didn't research it myself, so yeah. No? I'm curious to look into that a little more. Yeah, yeah, me too. But she was advocating for exercise as a way to help your body absorb it and someone that does all these marathons and stuff. So I don't know if I'm going to go and do all that, but maybe to a smaller degree just to help. I guess finding the middle way with the exercise. The middle way. That's it. Between a marathon and getting up off the couch. Right. I mean, whatever that looks like for us, too. That's right, yeah. What that would be. Great. Gal? Is that how I say your name, Gal?

[64:38]

Is it Gal? Yes. It is? Yeah, rhymes with Paul. I'm thinking actually of putting that in the login afterwards, make it easy for people. Oh, so just a quick thought and then a question. Maybe we don't have time for it today, maybe some point in the future. Quick thought is, is it Zoom that freezes or are our brains that freeze? That's not a thought. That's a con. That's a con, yeah. But I was kind of intrigued by, you know, this concept of a Buddha demon, right? So, I mean, it sounds, I mean... I'm taking it that if you jump in too quickly and you grasp too much to emptiness or or just grasp too much to anything, then you can have a kind of dualistic misinterpretation of everything and get pulled in the wrong direction.

[65:43]

But I wasn't really sure kind of contextually how to place that or even how to think about it or, you know. I don't know if it might be like too much for today, but at some point, if you could address it, that would be cool. The Buddha demon. Yeah. That concept. Yeah. Buddha was challenged by a demon. Mara, the evil one. And while he sat under the tree in the master of illusion. So there's the clue. The demon is a master of illusion. Yeah. So we're being thrown off by something that looks like, I got to have that. I got to have that. I don't know if I told you guys, but I was captured by a, what year was it? 1962 Mercedes convertible that was sitting parked in Berlin when I was 17.

[66:44]

And I happened to be there just by accident. Just happened. And I saw it. It was white. And I'm still there. I'm like the most beautiful car I ever saw in my whole life. And it still is. Every decade I see one go by and I'm like, oh my God, there it is. It's a demon. It's an illusion. I am projecting all of my longings on this thing. To open the hood and take out all those parts and pull off the tires. And what do you got? Nothing. But that fantasy of whatever that longing we have for objects can be very intoxicating. We get intoxicated by lust, intoxicated by hate, intoxicated by confusion. So it's really our intoxication that's deactivated. That's what's activated. Our B vitamins are depleted. So it's really all about coming to a real good realization.

[67:49]

What's the source of the demon? Where's the demon coming from? It's not outside. So that's a really hard one for us to continuously reflect back on our own mind and our own story making, how we've imagined things to be so with a lot of feelings. When you add feelings to concepts, you're really cooking. I do believe this is true. I know it. I know it in my heart. And we talk like that. That's pretty convincing. Convinces me. So I think part of it is calm down. Calm down. Buddha calmed down while he watched the dancing girls and the dancing boys and the army. He was very calm. And they vanished. How can that happen? How can an army vanish? So we'll see.

[68:53]

We'll find out what demons are got all of us, you know, a week or so from now. See what happens. It's a big feeling of something coming, right? What are we going to do? I don't know. We've got to calm down, first of all. It's probably our best hope. whatever way it goes. Okay, everyone, please take care. And if you're in this big wind, I read you're supposed to put your umbrellas inside. If you have some outdoors, so do that and take good care of yourselves. And I will hopefully see you next week. And we'll be looking at Yogacara school, which is really fun, but it looked complicated, but I'll try to keep it as... chunked down as I can. But again, if you have a chance to get inside Vasubandhu's Yogachara, you'll have a great leap forward in understanding this wonderful, wonderful teaching.

[69:54]

So good night. Sleep well. Stay safe. Bye-bye. If you want to unmute and say goodbye, please, you're welcome to do that. Thank you, Fu. Thank you so much, Fu. You're welcome. Bye. I'll see you next week. Hey, good to see you all. Thank you for the good night. You're welcome. Bye, everyone. You're back. Bye-bye. Bye, Lisa, in Massachusetts. Good luck. Bye from Texas. Hey, Texas. Woo-hoo. Mammoth in Texas. Massachusetts. Bye, you guys. Thank you. Bye, you guys. Got you well. How's the smoke? Gone? It actually blew away today, and it's not windy right now. Wonderful. Wonderful. Good. We have a break for two days. We have a little break until it comes back next week, probably. God. When's the snow coming? Yeah, that's the question.

[70:55]

Poor Colorado. Oh, my God. Yes. Geez, they're just going down. Terrible. Yep. Yep. No winter yet in the forecast. So drought. Thanks for asking. Thank you. Yeah, well, I'm glad to see you. Always glad to see you. Don't make me worry. That's your job. Hey, Jenny. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. You're on Highway 1 there, aren't you? Yeah, right now. Nice background. The power would go out, so it would just be here. I heard 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock. Yeah. Enjoy a dark night. It's still not windy. I'm up here on the mountain. There's not even a breeze. I think it's going to pick up overnight. Is it? Okay. All right. Well, take care. You too. Thank you.

[71:54]

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