I felt extremely sorry, extremely vexed to be deprived from so grand a sight as the Tata'ata Knowledge. And, however, O Lord, for my daily recreation, I was visiting the caves of rocks, or mountains, woods as thickets, lovely gardens, rivers, and roots of trees. I always was occupied with the same and ever-recurring thought. Whereas the entrance into the fixed point of the road is normally equal, we have been dismissed by the Lord with the inferior vehicle.

[01:04]

I think when I was at A.H. Monastery and it was the first time to listen to the Shobo Genzo, actually I was very delightful in having the good chance to listen to the Shobo Genzo lecture. The lecture on the Shobo Genzo, particularly on the subject of Zazen, on the other hand, I had some doubt, is it true, I asked myself, is it really true, Zazen saves from my sufferings?

[02:25]

Or is it true, Zazen makes me become a Buddha? The Shaliputra has many chances to listen to the Buddha's teaching and to see the many Buddhas and Patriots, but nevertheless, he thought, he always was occupied with the same and ever-recurring thought, visiting the caves of rocks and woody thickets, rivers and mountains. He thought he is always dismissed by the Lord, by the Buddha's teaching.

[03:38]

I think it is said, good action produces good result, bad action produces bad result. This is really true, but actually, even though you do good actions, the result is very often contrary to your expectation, to your good result, then, at that time, you think, you are afraid, you are dismissed by the principle that the good action produces good result,

[05:05]

then, you want to see the truth, then, you want to visit the deep mountains and rivers, and sit in meditation under the woody thickets, under the big trees, in the caves. I think, it is questionable, what you do, you and the principle,

[06:07]

the truth, is wrong, I think you cannot believe in the truth, because, when you compare with your actual reality, your result, then, you seek for more better conditions, better situation, which might bring you to live in better situation.

[07:12]

But even the Shantiputra follows in the same way as us, what we are thinking, but the Shantiputra reflects upon himself, when he listens to the Buddha's teachings, he said instantly, however, O Lord, I felt that it was our own fault, not the Lord's, for had we regarded the Lord at the time of his giving the all-surpassing demonstration of the law,

[08:29]

that is the exposition of supreme perfect enlightenment, then, O Lord, we should have become adepts in those laws. The Buddha teaches us the twelve changes of causation, or the principle which life is suffering, or the principle of conditioned origination,

[09:31]

and such and such, in order to make people understand their own life better. Then, when you reflect upon your life, you recognize, you notice, that there are many sufferings, many troubles, which lead us to fall into difficulties, lead us to be at loss what to do with ourselves. Then, at that time, we think, we take it into our head, that this is real fact of human being.

[10:44]

While staying in Tushara, you felt, you feel, everything goes well, and you feel, you felt the peaceful mind, peaceful, sprung, is sprung into existence. But, if you go out of Tushara, and live in the city, everything is very hard for you. Then you think, I am very hard to live in the city. Actually, I want to go back to Tushara, but even though you think I want to stay forever in Tushara,

[11:52]

but sometimes you think, or no, you say to yourself, or no, I have to go out of Tushara, and live in the city, and learn more things, because if I stay in Tushara, it is easy way for me. So, in the city life, there are lots of troubles, lots of hard things, I should learn more. Then, you go out of Tushara. But, regardless of your ideas, the hard things, or troubles, come up to you, without reserves.

[13:02]

And, at that time you think, life situation is based on the hard things, because the hard things exist in our reality, in reality. But, although Buddha says, the world is, Buddha says, there is a condition based on the Buddha's world. But, now I cannot think so, I don't think so, because I consist in right in the midst of the troubles and hard things.

[14:08]

But, in the terms of the Buddha's world, the hard things, or troubles, or trouble causation of change, the trouble change of causation, are just one of skillful means, skillful means what Buddha teaches us. It is not truth. The hard things, or troubles, are not truth. But, what you think, troubles and hard things are just skillful means, in order to lead human beings to enter the truth.

[15:26]

But, actually we don't think so. If you live just in the midst of the troubles, or sufferings, then Shaliputra confessed before Buddha. So far, Shaliputra felt, it was the Buddha's teachings fault, Buddha's fault. But, actually I am living, actually, in this human life, but now I am suffering. What do you think about this real fact?

[16:33]

Nevertheless, you, Buddha, teaches us, everything based on the Buddha's world. But, I can't really believe it. Don't you think it's your fault? And, Shaliputra asked himself, Shaliputra said to himself again and again, but now when he listened to Buddha's teachings again, he felt that it was our own fault, not to the Lord's. Because, we have regarded the Lord at the time of His giving the all-surpassing demonstration of the Lord.

[17:38]

The all-surpassing demonstration of the Lord is the various phases of human life. Showing, regarded as the hard, in the sense of hard things, or troubles, or sufferings, and so on. These are not real truths, what you think. It is just the all-surpassing demonstration of the Lord, delivered by the Lord. But, Shaliputra takes it into his head that it is the exposition of supreme and perfect enlightenment.

[18:57]

This is first misunderstanding for him. I cannot explain the experience of climbing the mountains, because I have never experienced it before.

[20:07]

Maybe Chino Sensei experienced climbing mountains, Mount Fuji in Japan. Mount Fuji is about 17,000 meters above the sea. When you climb Mount Fuji, the young people are very interested in climbing Mount Fuji, the New Year's Eve, and look at the scene of rising sun, the scene that the sun rises, and the New Year's.

[21:12]

So, of late, young Japanese people don't like to spend the New Year at their own home. But, so far, the old people, old Japanese people, like love so much, are spending the New Year at their own life, with calmness, peacefulness. But, the young generation has a different viewpoint from the old people. Then, young people are interested in climbing the mountain on the New Year's Eve, and spend the New Year at the top of Mount Fuji,

[22:16]

and are delightful in looking at the splendid scene of rising sun. I think it's wonderful. I can't imagine how wonderful it is. If you climb the Everest, if you are mountaineers, if you are mountaineers, you are not satisfied enough to climb Mount Fuji,

[23:25]

which is 17,000 meters above the sea, but you want to conquer the higher mountains, then your curiosity is directed to concentrate on conquering Mount Everest, or Mount Runs. Mount Everest is 1,888 meters above the sea. And if you climb Mount Everest, and look at Mount Fuji,

[24:28]

Mount Fuji is like ants, very tiny things. Oh, over there, over there, Mount Fuji over there. Then you are very proud of yourself. Oh, wonderful. Mount Run is 4,800 meters. But if you are very skillful mountaineers, and you are asked by someone, why is it you climb to such high mountains? Can you answer to this question? I think you explain in various ways.

[25:32]

The purpose of mountaineers is to see the splendid scene from the top of the mountains. You can go through a series of many reasons why you want to climb the mountains. But even though you can't explain why, I think there is nothing but going through a series of the ideas which emerge from your common sense as mountaineers.

[26:41]

It is said that one of the skillful mountaineers was asked by someone why he climbed the mountains. It is said that he said, it is because mountains exist there. That is his reason. Mountains exist there. I think this is a very interesting reason why he wanted to climb the mountains. It has something in common with the Buddhist principles.

[27:56]

I think for a skillful mountaineer, it is not because he wants to compete with one another in bravery, compete with another in climbing the higher mountains, compete with how high mountains you climb. For him, it is not because he wants to see the splendid scene which you will see from the top of the mountains.

[29:14]

For him, his purpose is just to climb. He finds his joy. In the domain of just climbing, acting in harmony with the existence of mountains, there is no such sense of pride or rivalry competitions

[30:32]

which a contestant of mountaineers has. He is just treading with delight and joy. At the time of just climbing, just making a scent of mountains, that is why he said to climb the mountains is because mountains exist there. I think at that time,

[31:39]

for him, mountains is not existence. I see him from the viewpoint of his ideas. The existence of mountains consists in his own reality, in life, or the same is to be said to the human life. Hard things, sufferings, such and such, everything exists there. Everything exists there. Because it shows that you suffer,

[32:49]

you feel that everything is hard for us, for you. You know, birth and death. Someone asks you why you live in this world. What's the purpose of your life? You can say, you can answer in various ways. But even though you can take so many answers in various ways, it is just you go through a series of your ideas,

[33:52]

which emerges from the common sense as members of human beings. Birth and death comes to us regardless of the idea, your own idea, whether you don't like it. Now you enjoy your health, then you can perceive, just perceive. You experience peacefulness through the experience in Tathagat. At that time you can look up to the birth and death,

[35:00]

subject of birth and death from the object, and look on. One of the students in Zen Center sent me the letter showing in it some poems. I don't remember exactly now. She confronts really the death. Day in and day out, she confronts the death.

[36:00]

Her husband takes care of his wife. So he cannot take care of his own children, because he has four hands, only taking care of his wife. So he has to separate from his children by making them to his parents. But for her, day after day, in her mind,

[37:14]

he cannot escape from the voice of her children. Which they are indulging in playing in the garden, playground. She cannot help listening to their voices. Sometimes their voices turn to voice of dark, darks of voice. As if a dark, a bright valk, valks at her,

[38:24]

at random, in net. She cannot escape from it. In the other hand, she has to listen to her own voice. Bubbling up her sickness, her death, in her poems. He says, there is nothing but only monologue of pain. In few minutes, in a few minutes,

[39:34]

behind it, just silence. Just silence is left. This is, you should contemplate this point. If you met, if you confront the death, day in and day out, there is no room to make a complaint. There is no room to fear the death. There is no room to discuss on the subject of the death. Because you are just in the midst of the death.

[40:44]

Your life occupies the death. All your life occupies the death. The death occupies all your life. There is, there is a room to discuss on the subject of birth and death. But you cannot, but you cannot help discuss what the death is in your mind. You have to ask yourself what is the death is. The more, even though you ask yourself what the death is,

[41:48]

you cannot escape from it. The more you reflect upon yourself, the more there is just, there is left, there lives, there lives just the death in the midst of your life. But you think, you think you try to continue, you are constantly to seek for what the death is. It seems to me that such an effort is to seeking after, seeking after your own tail. It is alright to seek, to chase after your tail.

[42:58]

There is nothing to live but the exhaustion of your own after continuous chasing. Continuous long chasing, race to left, race to left. That time as these students ascending her porch, in a few minutes behind it just silence. In the domain of just silence, there is something which you have to accept.

[44:10]

What is it? It is just monologue of pain, of the death, of the suffering coming from the death. The only monologue of pain, suffering, the death occupies all your life. Within this world, you have to walk step by step. That time you live just silence, just tranquility, which you have to accept. Including the birth, death, concerned with sufferings, twelve chains of causation,

[45:18]

and such and such, taught by Buddha's teaching, Buddha. From this point, death is not the object, is not the model of discussion, as Lukas-sama. What you have to suffer from the death is because the death exists there, exists right here, right there, right now. That's why you have to suffer from the death. As mountaineers said, mountain exists there.

[46:26]

That's why I climbed the mountains. There is no such sense of pride or competition, rivalry. Rivalry, competition, what confronts us.

[46:47]

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