This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Morning friends, old friends and new friends, big friends and small friends. My name's Sarah and I live here at Greenwilch Farm with a couple of small people in my house. And we are friends with somebody that you might be friends with as well, named Frog and Toad. You guys friends with Frog and Toad? Frog and Toad, great. So I wanted to share a Frog and Toad story with everyone.

[01:01]

But first I wanted to ask you, little people but also big people, do you like coming to Green Gulch? Yeah, I see a lot of nods. Can you tell me some of the things you like, why you like coming to Green Gulch? Little people can shout it out and big people can think in your own heads why it is that you like coming to Green Gulch. Does anyone want to say anything? Yeah. It's so boring. Yeah. That's really advanced. You like the boring. Some people, it takes a long time to like the boring. Anyone else? Yeah. You like to learn new things. Yeah. You like to do fun stuff like go on hikes and be outside.

[02:09]

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's why a lot of people like coming here. And there's maybe another reason I think that a lot of people, especially big people, like to come here that is in this story, this frog and toad story. So I'm going to read it to you now. You know, you, yeah. The story is called Alone. Toad went to Frog's house. He found a note on the door. The note said, Dear Toad, I am not home. I went out. I want to be alone. Alone, said Toad. Frog has me for a friend. Why does he want to be alone? Toad looked through the windows. He looked in the garden. He did not see Frog. Toad went to the woods.

[03:09]

Frog was not there. He went to the meadow. Frog was not there. Toad went down to the river. There was Frog. He was sitting on an island by himself. Poor Frog, said Toad. He must be very sad. I will cheer him up. Toad ran home. He made sandwiches. He made a pitcher of iced tea. He put everything in a basket. Toad hurried back to the river. Frog, he shouted, it is me. It is your best friend, Toad. Frog was too far away to hear. Toad took off his jacket and waved it like a flag. Frog was too far away to see. Toad shouted and waved, but it was no use. Frog sat on the island. He did not see or hear Toad. A turtle swam by. Toad climbed on the turtle's back.

[04:12]

Turtle, said Toad, carry me to the island. Frog is there. He wants to be alone. If Frog wants to be alone, said the turtle, why don't you leave him alone? Maybe you are right, said Toad. Maybe Frog does not want to see me. Maybe he does not want me to be his friend anymore. Yes, maybe, said the turtle as he swam to the island. Frog, cried Toad. I am sorry for all the dumb things I do. I am sorry for all the silly things I say. Please be my friend again. Toad slipped off the turtle. With a splash, he fell in the river. Frog pulled Toad up onto the island. Toad looked in the basket. The sandwiches were wet. The pitcher of iced tea was empty. Is this not what Toad's life is like? Our lunch is spoiled, said Toad. I made it for you, Frog, so that you would be happy. But Toad, said Frog, I am happy.

[05:18]

I am very happy. This morning I woke up. When I woke up, I felt good because the sun was shining. I felt good because I was a frog. and I felt good because I have you for a friend. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think about how fine everything is. Oh, said Toad. I guess that is a very good reason for wanting to be alone. Now, said Frog, I will be glad not to be alone. Let's eat lunch. Frog and Toad stayed on the island all afternoon. They ate wet sandwiches without iced tea. They were two close friends sitting alone together. So I think, little people, you might hear about somebody else named Shakyamuni Buddha who sat alone together.

[06:28]

with all of his friends, when you go out with Chelsea and do some stuff with all the big people in the kids program. And maybe you can think about this. What does it mean to be alone together? And you might even ask for a big person who brings you here to Green Gulch. What do you think about being alone together? What do you go to Green Gulch for? What do you do in the Zendo? You might ask them that. and see what they say. All right, that's all I have to say to the little people. Thank you very much for listening, for being good friends like Frog and Toad. Yeah, thank you, Chelsea. So little people with their big people can go out this way or that way and meet Chelsea on this side. Thank you.

[07:43]

And as they're leaving, if there's anyone who's staying in the Zendo who'd like to move up, I don't mind being alone up here together with all of you, but if you'd like to move up, you're welcome too. I know we're all together. So welcome the rest of you to Green Gulch Farm. For those of you who don't know, we are currently in the midst of a two-month practice period, a more intensive time of practice here at Green Gulch.

[09:23]

And as it's tonight, we'll begin Seven Day Sashin, the Rahatsu Sashin, which celebrates the enlightenment of the Buddha. It's sat by Buddhists all over the world. And here at Green Gulch, we will start this evening. I wanted to take up this story of frog and toad, and particularly this piece of sitting alone together and turn it with you today. Amen. not only because it feels alive to me with Rohatsu Sashin beginning, where we often hold up the story of the Buddha's enlightenment, but also because of the holiday season, which I'm guessing most, if not all of you, are experiencing in some way in our larger culture and world.

[10:24]

You know, the holiday season is often a time when people have a heightened awareness of being with family and friends or being apart from family and friends, being alone, being... together for long stretches of time with people who we may or may not feel in alignment with. And this can be exciting or uncomfortable or both, or overwhelming either way. So for me, looking at this paradox of alone together is irrelevant. for this time and all times. I wonder how many of you were listening to the story when I read it to the kids.

[11:25]

I'm thinking of reading it again. Are you up for that? Hearing this story. So this time it's for you. This is Alone with Frog and Toad. I love Frog and Toad. You can think maybe as you're listening to this story, you might notice if you're relating to Toad or maybe you're relating to Frog. You can see. It's called Alone. Toad went to Frog's house. He found a note on the door. The note said, dear Toad, I am not at home. I went out. I want to be alone. Alone, said Toad. Frog has me for a friend. Why does he want to be alone? Toad looked through the windows. He looked in the garden. He did not see Frog. Toad went to the woods. Frog was not there. He went to the meadow. Frog was not there. Toad went down to the river. There was Frog.

[12:27]

He was sitting on an island by himself. Poor Frog, said Toad. He must be very sad. I will cheer him up. Toad ran home. He made sandwiches. He made a pitcher of iced tea. He put everything in the baskets. Toad hurried back to the river. Frog, he shouted, it is me. It is your best friend, Toad. Frog was too far away to hear. Toad took off his jacket and waved it like a flag. Frog was too far away to see. Toad shouted and waved, but it was no use. Frog sat on the island. He did not hear or see Toad. A turtle swam by. Oh, maybe you feel like the turtle. Toad climbed on the turtle's back. "'Turtle,' said Toad, "'carry me to the island. Frog is there. He wants to be alone.' "'If Frog wants to be alone,' said the turtle, "'why don't you leave him alone?' "'Maybe you are right,' said Toad. "'Maybe Frog does not want to see me.

[13:30]

"'Maybe he does not want me to be his friend anymore.' "'Yes, maybe,' said the turtle as he swam to the island." Frog, cried Toad, I am sorry for all the dumb things I do. I am sorry for all the silly things I say. Please be my friend again. Toad slipped off the turtle. With a splash, he fell in the river. Frog pulled Toad up onto the island. Toad looked in the basket. The sandwiches were wet. The pitcher of iced tea was empty. Our lunch is spoiled, said Toad. I made it for you, Frog, so that you would be happy. But Toad, said Frog, I am happy. I am very happy. This morning when I woke up, I felt good because the sun was shining. I felt good because I was a frog. And I felt good because I have you for a friend. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think about how fine everything is.

[14:31]

Oh, said Toad, I guess that is a very good reason for wanting to be alone. Now, said Frog, I will be glad not to be alone. Let's eat lunch. Frog and Toad stayed on the island all afternoon. They ate wet sandwiches without iced tea. They were two close friends sitting alone together. So I've just been enjoying this rich paradox of alone together, which I notice in my usual way and probably our usual way of thinking about being alone. It's not something you can do with someone else. It's kind of the opposite of being with someone else.

[15:31]

The definition of the word alone, one definition is to have no one else present. to be on one's own, as Frog was when he was sitting on that island in the river. So I imagine this way of thinking is pretty familiar to many of you, as it is to Toad, and it certainly is to me. It's the dualistic realm, the realm of good and bad and right and wrong and alone and together, attachment and aversion. It's our realm. It's the realm of sentient beings. It's the realm of karma. I was recently speaking to a friend of mine who was on his way to visit, to go on a plane and visit some

[16:40]

extended family for Thanksgiving. And he was telling me that he was anticipating feeling kind of drained and overwhelmed by the experience of travel and then of kind of spending several days with people that he really loves but he doesn't see often and wants to give kind of attention to the people and felt that he wouldn't have any time alone to replenish his energy. And I, having two young children at home, asked if I could reframe his story for him. And he said, yes, please. And I proceeded to describe how luxurious a trip all by myself on an airplane, you know, like five hours of reading and listening to podcasts and reflecting on my own thoughts and feelings and sensations would be.

[17:50]

Because in my mind, I would be alone on the journey. And what's interesting to me as I reflected on that conversation was this feeling of grasping for something, of wanting to get something. The thing I wanted to get was being alone, this idea I had of being alone, which also contained a subtle form of aversion, a way. I wanted to get away from something, you know, get away from being responsible for and responsive to the needs of others, as though that was going to happen, you know, interacting with all these people in the airport and, you know.

[18:54]

But I noticed this is what I... my story of what was going to happen. And studying myself, I see the wish to be alone in this case was an ever so subtle aversion, you know, trying to get ease by getting away from difficulty or effort. So this is what was going on for Toad in the story. You know, what I appreciate about Toad And about all of these, like, I don't know if you read kids' books these days, there's a lot of, like, these little duos, right? Frog and Toad and Gerald and Piggy, and they are great. They kind of demonstrate how suffering works in this very kind of charming, sincere way. And the way they do this is, you know, it's usually the straight guy and the... The foil and the forgetting what the other one is, you know, but there's always two.

[20:00]

And one is often describing a dualistic understanding and the suffering that comes with it. And the other one seems to demonstrate freedom, you know. So toad says, frog has me for a friend. Why does he want to be alone? So if you like something, you know, your friend, then you would want to have more of that. in this understanding, you know? And if you want to be alone, it must be because you are averting. You don't want that. You're trying to get away from something. Very dualistic. He says, poor frog, he must be sad. I will cheer him up, right? And then it's like, I can't tolerate the suffering of my friend or what I think is suffering. I need to do something to get back this good feeling. So the happiness is based on being alone or together and depends on whether you like or don't like what's happening.

[21:03]

You know, and then Toad demonstrates very nicely how we get tossed around by these ideas and emotions. You know, he literally slips off the turtle, falls into the river, is wet and hysterical, you know. This is very familiar to me, at least. I don't know if it is to you, whether we are alone or together. It's the same, getting tossed or blown around by grasping an aversion, never really free and at peace. This is kind of a usual way, a habitual way. Now the reframe did end up helping my friend on his trip. but not because it leaps beyond some dualistic frame, which it doesn't, which we just talked about, but because it helped him see that his state of mind, his story about the trip was setting him up for missing the actuality of his life on his journey because he was focused on what he didn't have, which was his idea of being alone.

[22:24]

or his need to have something he thought he was afraid he wouldn't have. So this brings us to another way to understand being alone, one that the Buddha taught in a sutta called the Discourse on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone, or the Discourse on Knowing the Better Way to Practice Living Alone. And in the sutta, the Buddha taught, there's this little poem, Do not pursue the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has not yet come. Looking deeply at life as it is in the very here and now, the practitioner dwells in stability and freedom. We must be diligent today. To wait till tomorrow is too late. Death comes unexpectedly.

[23:25]

How can we bargain with it? The sage calls a person who dwells in mindfulness night and day the one who knows the better way to live alone. So the rest of the sutta is the Buddha explaining what he means by pursuing the past and losing yourself in the future. just kind of summarize in the sutta, he says that when you're thinking about your past and literally the way he speaks of your past is by speaking about the five skandhas, the five elements that make up our identity or our kind of sense of self, separate self, which are your form, your body and your sense organs and the things they are. Encounter, so the whole physical world. This is form.

[24:25]

Your feelings or sensations. And in Buddhism, there are three, and they are I like it, I don't like it. And the third is either neutral, or some people say there's no neutral, you just don't know yet whether you like it or not. Your perceptions, so the recognition. of the senses and the sense stimuli, the recognition of the body and the feelings, your formations or the volitional, willful mental action that guide our response to the world and our consciousness. So consciousness meaning the awareness without or before recognition. So it's not Maybe you're what's subconscious. It's not... It's without words. So these are the five skandhas.

[25:29]

Form, sensations, perceptions, formations, and consciousness, which will be familiar to you if you've chanted the Heart Sutra recently, you've heard it. So the Buddha's just saying... When you think about yourself in the past, and by self, he means when you contemplate any of these five elements of your experience, your past experience, and your mind is burdened by and attached to these things, or this self, which belongs to the past, then you are pursuing the past. Not pursuing the past is when a person considers these things, but her mind is neither enslaved by nor attached to these things which belong to the past. That person is not pursuing the past. Losing yourself in the future means when a person considers the past.

[26:40]

elements of these things, this self, these elements that make up identity and experience, and his mind is burdened by daydreaming about these things which belong to the future. That is when a person is losing himself in the future. And by contrast, not losing yourself in the future is when considering the future Our mind is not burdened by or daydreaming about these things which belong to the future. So it's not that memories don't arise. It's that the mind is neither enslaved by or attached to those experiences. It's not that we don't prepare for the future. You have to make the plane reservations if you'd like to get on the plane.

[27:44]

It's that the mind is not burdened by or daydreaming about these things which belong to the future. We all know that making a plane reservation doesn't mean the plane will take off. So in the story, we can say that Toad is swept away by both the past and the future. He thinks his words and actions in the past caused Frog to want to be alone. It's very painful for him. He blames himself, and he's kind of enslaved and attached to this. And then he feels so terrible about the things he's done in the past, and then he's afraid that in the future, Frog will never want to be his friend again. You know, he's burdened by what the Buddha calls daydreaming about that which belongs to the future. Yeah, and he gets totally swept away. He ends up wet and hysterical in the river.

[28:51]

So lucky for Toad, he has frog for a friend. Frog graciously meets him and is not swept away by Toad's feelings and daydreaming. So in contemplating this talk, I realized I really don't want to write, you know, the Tao of poo or something. I don't want to get carried away and suggest that frog is kind of practicing mindfulness night and day. He might, in fact, just have a nicer story that he's attached to. You know, he says, I felt good because the sun was shining. I felt good because I was a frog and I felt good because I have you for a friend. And we don't really know what any of these things mean to frog. You know, maybe if frog had said, I wanted to look deeply at life as it is in the very here and now, instead of I wanted to think about how fine everything is, then we could talk about frog's practice.

[29:55]

But I do like this story because I, you know, I can project or I can see implied in Frog's actions that he understands that his being alone, his contemplation and appreciation of the universe and of being a frog and sitting with his friend, you know, two close friends sitting alone together are not mutually exclusive. They can happen at the same time. Which is so, you know, practicing mindfulness is not something that you just do alone. It's something you do, you can do, it's available to do all the time in the midst of every moment as it unfolds. You know, I like Toad because he kind of calmly and willingly

[31:01]

is present with the reality of Toad's instability. And he happily eats soggy sandwiches without iced tea with his friend. You know, he doesn't think that that precludes anything. He's able to Consider Toad and Toad's story of the past and future and is not burdened and attached, does not appear to be burdened and attached, but is able to be present with what's happening, even while Toad is bemoaning the soggy sandwiches and his mistakes. And still, in this story, it appears that there are two beings, Frog and Toad. They could be understood to be simultaneously alone.

[32:04]

Or we could understand ourselves to be simultaneously practicing not losing ourselves in the past and not pursuing the future while we're physically together with others. And actually, it's very helpful. It's a very helpful practice for me. I would suggest you might try it. to take it up if you haven't. And if you have, you probably know that it's helpful. And this is still the dualistic realm. It's still my friend being alone on a flight with all the other people. And it's even a usual way, dare I say it, that people think about what's happening in this very zendo. We're all sitting here. by ourselves in a room full of people practicing zazen.

[33:05]

That's kind of what it looks like to many sentient beings. So there's one more key piece to understanding the stability and freedom that the Buddha experienced while sitting under the Bodhi tree and taught as the better way to live alone. that wasn't actually in that poem, and is beyond not being attached to the past or future, and that is beyond what we usually think of when we say mindfulness or being mindful of the present moment. At the end of the discourse on knowing the better way to live alone, the Buddha says, Bhikkhus, what is meant by being swept away by the present? He then goes on to explain that when one does not know about Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, when one is not practicing the Buddha's teaching, one thinks, this body is myself.

[34:18]

I am this body. These feelings are myself. I am these feelings. This perception is myself. I am this perception. This mental formation is myself. I am this mental formation. This consciousness is myself. I am this consciousness. So essentially, you know, that I am a permanent separate self. The Buddha says that when one thinks this, then that person is being swept away by the present. the thought and subtle experience, which you can check out if you've ever had this experience. Maybe you can, maybe you're having it right now. If you can investigate all those pieces of being a permanent separate self, of being a lone self, whether in the presence of others or on one's own, is being swept away by the present.

[35:29]

What does not being swept away by the present mean? When someone studies and learns about the awakened one, the Buddha, the teachings of love and understanding, the Dharma, and the community that lives in harmony and awareness, the Sangha, when that person knows about noble teachers and their teachings, practices these teachings, and does not think This body is myself. I am this body. These feelings are myself. I am these feelings. This perception is myself. I am this perception. This mental formation is myself. I am this mental formation. This consciousness is myself. I am this consciousness. Then that person is not being swept away by the present. Looking deeply at life as it is in the very here and now, the practitioner dwells in stability and freedom.

[36:44]

The sage calls a person who dwells in mindfulness night and day the one who knows the better way to live alone. When Shakyamuni sat under the Bodhi tree, and attained enlightenment, he said, I and all living beings on Earth completed the way together. Mountains, rivers, grass, and trees all attained the Buddha way without exception. Our ancestor Kezon says of the Buddha's enlightenment, just as when you lift up a net, And all the holes are raised. In the same way, when Shakyamuni Buddha was enlightened, so too were all beings on earth enlightened. And it was not only all beings on earth that were enlightened. All the Buddhas of past, present, and future also attained enlightenment.

[37:48]

While this is so, do not think of Shakyamuni Buddha as having become enlightened. Do not see Shakyamuni Buddha outside of all beings on earth. However immensely diverse the mountains, rivers, land, and all forms and appearances may be, all of them are in the eye of the Buddha. You too are standing in the eye of the Buddha. And it is not simply that you are standing there. The eye has become you. Buddha's eye has become everyone's whole body, each standing tall. This is the truth of how we are all alone together, beyond alone and beyond together, beyond you and me and beyond not you and not me. Whether you're sitting Rahatsu Sashin this week or planning for your holiday celebrations,

[39:03]

with or without family and friends, celebrating already or not. Celebrating. Please do not be confused. Maybe it would help you to remember Frog and Toad and their great friendship. Or remember this beautiful valley and how you came here to find your place and your way, alone and together with all beings. Please take care of this great matter and continue your practice. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support.

[40:04]

sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[40:11]

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