This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. You're okay over there? No? Just in case you hear some odd signs, the shop has decided they need to fix a leak in the roof. So Goyo and Elliot might be pounding across the roof. And they just told me about a little over five minutes ago.

[01:06]

And I was thinking, you know, I've tried very similar things in the past myself as when I was working in the shop. And the thing is that the adhesive that seals the leak works best when the surface is dry. So it's a great con, you know, how do you dry a surface in the pouring rain? And then being so sheen, my mind thought, well, that's a little like Zazen. How do you think not thinking? How do you, in the midst of totally accepting the karmic arisings that you are, how do you realize going beyond karmic arisings?

[02:17]

And in this fascicle that I've been alluding to without really addressing it, Zaza and Shin. This is, in a way, the pivotal point that Dogen's trying to bring up. We were sitting here this morning in a sea of liquid signed, eating seaweed, and I thought, how appropriate. You know, one of the nonchalant gifts of Shashin is that each day takes on its own character. The dry, frosty stillness of yesterday seems like a distant dream.

[03:24]

One day at a time. Sometimes one period of zazen at a time. Sometimes one breath at a time. There's a fierce poem that ends up by Wallace Stevens called The Mind of Winter. And it ends up, he says, and the person... who listens to the snow. But maybe we can also say the person who listens to the rain. Here's nothing that isn't there and the nothing that is. Full attention to just this.

[04:31]

And then when there's full attention, the particularity is just itself. It doesn't create a whole world. It doesn't create a history and a future and all sorts of reasons for preoccupation. And yet, in this karmic life, these formulations, they carry our life force along. And some of the humbling patient practice of Sashin is engaging and fully experiencing

[05:35]

what it is that persists in the mythology of your own being no when we start to look carefully we can start to see that um that that which has the most weight you usually the weightiness comes from and emotional involvement, that which has touched us deeply feels like our deepest truth. And then given the nature of the human condition, that which has touched us deeply often touched us with the weight of pain or difficulty. And often it wasn't then that clear and it isn't now that clear, exactly what that is.

[06:46]

So sometimes we're being patient with something that isn't revealed. I think of Wallace Stevens' words, you know, like, To be so perceptive that you see nothing that isn't right there. And the nothing that is. But sometimes it's just messier than that. It's more mysterious. And part of what's asked for us is to stay with it. This is where, as I've been saying over the last couple of days, this is where having a basic practice, tangible practice, a routine that you do each time you sit down on your cushion, how you stretch out the kinks that tend to come into your body.

[08:06]

how you let something open and relax. How you attend to mind in a way that helps it remember what it is to express, Zaza. That the more we return to this, the more we delve into this, the more accessible it is and the more it stays like the breath, like the heartbeat, as we go through the days, the moments, the emotions that we're made of. And then as we do that, There is what's evident, and then there is what's below that.

[09:14]

Not so evident. Sometimes we just experience the consequence of it. It's as if for no good reason the moment is allowed to be itself. the dramatic stories that we've been telling ourselves have suddenly quieted God, disappeared. In this fascicle, Dogen describes those moments of simple presence as Buddhist, and the moments of the turmoil and complexities and struggles of our karmic life as demons.

[10:18]

And he says, and be open to the Buddhas and be open to the demons. Akalind Zenji says, and be willing to go into hell. Ooh. I don't know if we are willing to do that. I think most of us would like to turn the heat down, add a little structure and support, cultivate a little equanimity, stability, trust. forgiveness, compassion. And then, with the umbrella in hand, walk out into the reign of what is.

[11:21]

But either way, this is the exploration. And Dogen says all this, and he's setting the stage for the interaction between Nangaku and Basso. And it's very interesting, because when you read through the different versions of this koan, this interaction, there's two stories. And one story is this. Nangaku, or Basso, was in the monastery for three years. And he was just working away. He had no particular official position. He just worked in the kitchen. And he sat a lot of his eyes.

[12:29]

And this started to attract people's attention until the Tanto said to Nangaku, who was the abbot, said, you know, there's this guy who works in the kitchen, and he does a lot of zazen, and he's never come to Dogosun. And then Geico says, well, then I'll go to him. And that sets the stage for the interaction. So that's one version. Now listen to what the other version is. The other version is that Basso had been practicing in the temple, He had his own awakening. He had that acknowledged. He had received Dharma transmission. And still he was doing Zazen. And under these circumstances, Nangaku comes to talk to him.

[13:33]

So it strikes my mind as very interesting, you know? Is he coming to talk to a beginner or is he coming to talk to a seasoned practitioner? And how really that applies to us all. That if you can't allow yourself to be a beginner, You're getting in your own way. The more thoroughly we can be a beginner, be with what body, what mind does the cacophony of raindrops create? Does the dampness in the air, you know?

[14:46]

Does it stir up beginning anew in this wet environment? And then to trust something in yourself. something in the body that knows how to be body. And to align with it. To open up and listen to it deeply. And let it find posture. And to trust the breath. to trust something in being that doesn't need to rely on strategies.

[15:58]

It has experienced too much life to know that you can, that to try to fit what's going on inside the parameters of some strategy is futile. As we sit zazen, you know, it's a declaration of deep trust in just being what is. In his poem Wallace Stevens says, it's the fierceness of winter. It's being in the middle of that fierceness. creates the preparation for just hearing what's being heard.

[17:06]

And then this exchange between Nangaku and Basso. It's a little bit like the first case in the Blue Cliff Records. It seems like one person is the fall guy. He says something kind of stupid, and then the other guy can look really clever and give him the true normal. interesting in our own workings. Sometimes it's our moment of clumsy not knowing that gives us the teaching. Sometimes it's the moments of accomplishment that hinders the teaching.

[18:26]

this curious interplay between beginner and experienced. And then Gaku says, what are you doing? Sitting there. Oh, and then for good measure, The one that said he had achieved, he had received Dharma transmission, said that he was sitting and there was snow on the ground. So he was sitting exposed to all the elements with snow on the ground. Every good story needs a few ferocious details. It always struck me as curious that Dogen said, a quiet room is suitable, you know, free from giraffes.

[19:47]

How unusual. Once I was sitting at Rinzai Shishin, and it was really cold, and the tanto came in and opened all the windows. And then he said, it was getting a little stuffy. It was below freezing in the room. what are you doing? Recently in Dogosan, a couple of students pressed me on particular points of Zazen. It reminded me of something I heard Sogiel Rinpoche say once.

[20:57]

He said, for 30 years, every chance I got, I asked my teacher about How to meditate? Beginner's mind. What is the mind that's stimulated by a cacophony of the sound of raindrops? Is the engagement of it the same engagement in fine detail as sitting in a frosty silence? Or does that mind

[22:03]

sitting in that noisy raindrop sound, is it more inclined to the thought? Is it skillful to have more diligent, directed attention? Or is it like it says in the Kaan, you know, what do you do, monk asks the teacher, what do you do when 10,000 things come forth at once? And 50 raindrops are simultaneously hitting the roof and you can hear the sound. What is just being present?

[23:27]

The teacher responded to the question, what do you do when 10,000 things come forth at once? Just don't resist. Is directing attention to the breath resisting? or facilitating everything to come forth. Dugan calls this structuring how attention's directed. Believe it or not, he calls it carving a dragon. And then he calls just being what is the real dragon. And usually the admonition is something like, well, carving a dragon is making something up.

[24:38]

No. Just being what is has the the immediacy of suchness. So carving is lesser than. But Dogen says, mm, they both have their place. And for each of us in our sitting, period by period, mental state by mental state, physical state by physical state, the con of appropriate response. In our more usual minds, the facility for appropriate response is not there.

[25:47]

We're too caught up in the urgency of our psychological agendas, of remembrances and anticipations. But as the mind settles in the rainy season of Shashin, appropriate response, And one of the students said to me, well, what about receptive attention? Is it momentary? Is it a momentary receptivity and then return to directed attention? Or do you engage the thoroughness of that experience that's being experienced?

[26:56]

Wonderful question. And there's no simple answer. Something can be thoroughly experienced in a fraction of a second when the mind is bright. Sometimes persisting with it helps the mind to engage more thoroughly and helps it to settle. And this This mind in the language of Zen, it's meeting the moment as a koan, as a point of inquiry, a point that when it's met, it reveals Buddhadharma.

[28:23]

And then to link this back to what I was saying yesterday, we have the particular, the formation, the karmic formation, and then we have going beyond. And then in Zazen, they weave together. Experience each experience and go beyond the story about it. And don't grasp it and turn it into something. Let the next moment arise. And sometimes it's receiving and sometimes it feels like it's more the workings of what's internal.

[29:37]

Sometimes as we listen with quiet mind, it's as if we're seeing the raindrops. But hearing and seeing start to overlap. Sometimes the internal is so powerful It's as if the particulars of now recede and the volumes turned up on what's arising from the karmic disposition. So maybe Nangaku's coming along and thinking, well, this guy who's just been working in the kitchen, maybe he's doing all sorts of weird things.

[31:00]

I should check him out. Or maybe he knows Basso well and thinks, hmm, He's like Sogyal Rinpoche. For 30 years, how do you meditate? How could anyone exhaust the question, what are you doing? Can we hold what arises? Not exactly, the word is not exactly in ambiguity, but that here is its concrete karmic formulation and just experiencing it

[32:25]

Let's it just be phenomena. And I really hope that this doesn't sound just like some exotic abstract formulation. I would ask you to consider that when we pay attention, this is the stuff of our consciousness. This is our everyday moment-to-moment mind. Creating what it creates. Sometimes arising internally, sometimes in association, and sometimes receiving.

[33:30]

The mind and the heart are quiet, and something just comes forth like a gift. So Nanangaku says, what are you doing sitting there? can we ever fully answer that, even when it's our own question? Dogen adds, virtuous monk. Virtuous one. What is the purpose of doing Zazen? Great worthy. What do you aim at in practicing Zazid?

[34:38]

What's your intention? And then as his own pointer, Dogen says, don't get stuck in loving a carved dragon. We should go forward. and love the real dragon. We should study that both the carved dragon and the real dragon have the power of forming clouds and rain. And he offers an interesting kind of yogic expression of practice. He says, Don't take the eyes lightly nor attach too much weight to the eyes. Don't put too much weight on the ear nor take the ear too lightly.

[35:44]

Allow both the eyes and the ears to be sharp and clear. The eyes and the ears offer wonderful access to here and now. They're both close enough to the brain that their influence on consciousness can be significant. I think almost everybody who has practiced for a while has experienced the yogic practice of just listening. If you just listen to as many raindrop sounds as can be perceived, you can notice the influence on consciousness.

[36:59]

If you just walk along and let what's being seen be a three-dimensional array rather than a two-dimensional array, rather than a flat surface, it has depth, it has breadth, it has color. Don't get mesmerized by it, but allow it to be an ally. This is the response to, what are you doing? Sitting. As Sashin, in its own mysterious way, enables the capacity just to be present.

[38:06]

these kind of practices are more evident. The relevance of them becomes more relevant in how it influences our presence. Basso said, my intention is to become a Buddha. I am aiming at becoming a Buddha. Aiming to become a Buddha. One footnote offers the word haku, hakuryo. To aim, to plan, to do something. To make an effort in line with a plan or an aim. But what does it mean to aim?

[39:28]

Does it mean you have some fixed, rigid idea as to what the outcome should be? Or does it mean that from a non-dual place, a non-judgmental, non-grasping place, that the deep intention comes forth with a directed effort. So, I would say to you, each time we sit down, something called forth something, some intention. And as you tune into the body, as you tune into the breath, as you tune into the mental disposition and the details each of them create, let that refine, let that translate the intention from a concept into

[40:44]

A receptive mode of being. Each and every time you sit down. And if something in you is thinking, oh yes, but I'm so tired and the day is almost over. Or something in you is thinking, or maybe feeling deeply, what's in my mind and heart is so powerful. It can't simply be held as a mere arising. Powerful as it may be, it is a construct. Deeply psychologically significant as it may be, it is the manifestation of this moment.

[41:55]

The fierce request of our practice has close to its heart non-attachment. sometimes that expresses itself as a fierce kind of renunciation. And yet, directed attention is not a negation, it's not a harsh imposition, it's an invitation. How do we balance those two? This fierce request and hold our directed attention as an invitation. How can we, within this human existence, ever exhaust the question, what are you doing?

[43:15]

What are you not doing? And when Vaso says, my intention is to become Buddha, Is it like a confession? Well, actually, looking at what's going on right now, I do see some ambition. I do see some desired outcome. That's part of what's arising. His statement, a statement of, from the perspective of directed attention, I am intending to enable awareness.

[44:36]

And that is the essence of expressing Buddha. So like this, each time we sit down. We sit down and whatever disposition, mood, ambition, or lack thereof, in the middle of it, can the request of Zazen come forth?

[45:43]

And sometimes its teaching is that this moment, this disposition that I'm in the middle of, It doesn't have to be entirely different for Zazen to happen. In the middle of this, this disposition is itself something that can be attended to and enable awakening. We can sit here and wish the Zendo was quiet like it was yesterday. But if we don't see the mind that's creating the wish, if we're just mesmerized by it, awakening disappears. What's happening now is what's happening now.

[46:54]

How do I practice with it? It is the pivot point. It's the turning. It's the opening. It's the engagement that remembers, that discovers the paths of awakening. And both the form and the formless enable. Miss Dogen says, even talking about what's seen and what's heard, you can not open to experiencing it or you can hold too tightly on it. Just find the balance. So please, on this rainy day,

[48:04]

the rain support the path. Don't assume you know what you are on a rainy day. Let the rain show you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[49:25]

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