1995.11.01-serial.00003

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SF-00003
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right now
home to a new country well bob or it came to america and yeah well
yes i
china
who's a plan right now he will begin
but he didn't say when
he didn't make that a smoke one by one but it may rehab
perhaps would make actual yes
yes i think that that's all

you do this by standing that the local problem solving goal
hmm

best best i think the best thing to do is both at the same time
this this is a kind of a secret of practice really be fully involved poorly floors open into something into life
but have the mind that has always standing back so i think we do in both this is what our practices not one way you know and not the other
come together

i am pleased to work for high tech company
he's an engineer and enemy
very first job i had was as very interesting project and it was going along very well through couple of years and very very successful but by cool poised for tremendous success and everybody was really pleased in one day decision comes down you know kill it
i was devastated that how could they do this are they stupid and i took me a long time to get over that but little by little you learned that even though you may be working on something that seems to probably wonderful somebody might say
we've changed going on somewhere
somebody somehow something something's changing and what we're doing at this moment hope it even with totally wonderful
and we have to say okay
i can let go of this wonderful thing

many of you may have had the same kind of experience you know doing something really they really grab you know you really looking for the big payoff and then all the sudden
stop
we have to stop
let go and in do the next thing

okay thank you
yes make you a better
tandja an equally
does he do
remember and accept
in today's that i do that without a target as words

good evening

this data great privilege for me to to be here tonight
it's a great honor actually and to be enough here in zen center of san francisco
right branch said
i i started my practice with
suzuki roshi and the others that they join him
my almost for me are almost thirty years now
no
i
i'm very fortunate
to be no tradition of such a such a person suzuki roshi n
and or even know my own practice is think
located
centered though some thirty miles from here
ah
as the eight years go by i discover how increasingly grateful i am for this place i don't come here very often
once in awhile
but more and more i feel gratitude for let this place in san francisco zen center for all of you for continuing this way this spiritual practice brought to us by suzuki roshi
no very quiet
required way a practice that the
centered here and that is emanating until the world is having a subtle a profound effect we can't nobody can measure it yet
but it's
it's taking place on little by little
oh
and i i i myself feel very fortunate to be able to ah the refresh myself be refreshed in them suzuki roshi practice by returning here to other central place that he founded here at tassajara
to resume or remind myself what
but it
what it was he was doing for us
thank you for inviting me to be here tonight and to share of are few minutes with you

i
at dinner i was asked what are no
the what will you speak about tonight
no
i said i didn't know but of course i know and it's always the same it's always the same room
can't be any different for me it's always the the practice sucrose his practice and how it expresses itself in our daily life that's all i can talk about
i don't know if there is anything else to talk about i've never i've never discovered anything else
so that's what it's gonna be
just another slant on that
how how does the spiritual practice manifest itself in our lives you know daily life
so so
that's what i'll talk about
in run
perhaps the on the
major emphasis major point that suzuki roshi try to help us understand
is that our practice is in practice is nothing but
how we express our true nature a fundamental self
you know who we really are
this practice is nothing but expressing who you are
that sounds good to you now and then and then he are you didn't give any instructions the that practice to express who you are
i think that wrong
for those of us who want to practice
for those those of us who at at the beginning point when we felt some pool or some desire we wanted to do the in practice we really felt we wanted to do than practice what we what we were feeling was our desire to understand we wanted to understand something
we wanted to understand the meaning of our life
something on certain you know a little bit confusing we wanted to practice so we can understand the meaning of our life's activity
as well as how to take care of our life how to take care of our life's activity
i think for people who are continue practice this is for fundamental point
you know many people start practice and then after while the in to give up and choose not to practice anymore
and i think it's because this was not their fundamental question in the beginning what is the
on is the meaning of my life what does the meaning of my life's activity
but when that is our
basic question then practice continues
in
i've discovered in my own
i'm looking at this question
that the activity the activity of practice is based on quiet activity of practice is based on quiet
it is to say buddhists activity is based on quiet
the quiet that exists in the midst of
noisy daily life
inherent quiet that exist behind the noisiest and the busy-ness of daily life
when we can base our daily activity the activity of our of our life on that quiet
then we always aware
always very mindful of our activity really focused and not distracted when we base our activity on that quiet that
exist before enough comes up
we're always aware of what we're doing and always aware of each particular activity and we pay very particular attention to each activity without distraction
so to express herself to express our true nature we have to
allow our mind to be quiet
we have to let our mind be quiet which means
not let the mind be reaching out for something or grasping something
the mind that is always reaching or grasping holding on you know attached
sticky
this mind is not quiet
those kind of mind cannot or appreciate the fundamental quiet that exists
before the noisiest begins
so when we let our mind to be quiet in that way
then we are allowing everything to be quiet or allow everything to express itself
hmm then we resume we can resume our natural position in the world
our natural place
when we let the mind be quiet in that way even in the midst of activity let our mind be quite in that way we can feel it in texture kind of texture of our true nature and are to activity camp you describe it
the words but you'll feel it's texture
if you
pick up a piece of silk or
maybe a piece of cotton or piece of velvet it's pretty hard to describe
completely worth it but it feels like the texture you know if somebody says well what does that feel like all you can do is say will hit here you take you feel it
it's like that
feel the texture of our true nature
impossible to describe do you have some feeling for it
almost almost tactile
when we feel the texture of our true activity and our true self then it means we are we can let things the merge on their own
are you not attached to them in any way we don't try to control them in any way we don't try to use them for ourself in any way we simply let them emerge on their own
we let people hemorrhage
without interfering without disturbing them
i let the mind resume original quiet
non grasping mind mind without as rewind that doesn't stick to anything
suzuki roshi when he was asked what's the purpose of zazen he said
mind to a mind that doesn't stick to anything
stickiness
so
so this this quiet that i'm trying to talk about is this kind of quiet is not get doesn't have to do just with the ear not that kind of quiet not just the ear quiet this quiet exists also not only does it exist in the year but it also exists in the
hi and the nose body mind
mouth
so our practice actually is not to disturb this quiet with the activity of our daily life not to disturb this fundamental quiet
not to disturb it with the activity of our i and the activity of our mind or body or kong mouth
to it it it's not just a loud noise that disturbs quiet
we're talking about that kind of quiet it's not just some kind of loud noise that disturbs quiet
a wrong word wrong sound wrong action also disturbs quiet but this wrong though as i say wrong but this is not wrong in a judgmental sense
like a certain activity is always wrong not that kind of wrong the wrong in this case means something that does not fit the situation
sometimes we say something and it's okay and other times we might say the same thing and it's not so good
so not feeding the situation is know a word or thought or an activity is wrong when it disturbs
wyatt
one
so we have to know the situation we have to know if what we want to say or what we want to do what action we want to take what sound we want to make we have to know if it will fit the situation
if it doesn't fit the situation and it will disturb quiet
so we need to know the situation
no see it with a very big mind i have big picture of things see the situation with very big mind
look in other words we need to feel the texture of a situation all at once
you step into a room and you know immediately who can say this
earlier you could have said this but now you can't say this or do this know immediately by knowing entire situation big picture so this means having big mind
so if we are to avoid disturbing this inherent quiet we need to have an awareness
so don't mind can be very being and see everything all at once
when we know what the situation is and whether what we plan to say or do will fit the situation
so we can say that the our practice is not to disturb buddhists activity with a noisy mind
we do not disturb buddhists activity with a noisy mind this is why we practice
so we can continue buddhists activity
so that we can learn how to set aside noisy mind and continue buddhists activity
that's why we practice and why our entire life is practice i our entire life is practice
on this we can't understand this point
logically we can only understand this point
it's a kind of feeling we get when we resume our inherent quiet and then we can appreciate with this means
my our entire life is practice my our entire life is not to disturb not to interrupt the buddhist activity with a noisy mind
are we have to return to inherent quiet mind to understand this point and so we practice
linda meaning of our lives activity starts to become clear

so as we know our practice is not simply a series of our own personal activities
activities that we feel are
strictly personal
it's very easy for us to think with this activity is practice i do this activity and it's practice and it's always practice
but if the activity doesn't fit with a certain situation
when we cannot say this is a great activity
even though we might say that's a
practice activity
sometimes a so-called practice activity can disturb quiet
our own her on quiet quiet of others so sometimes even a so called practice activity
disturbs buddhists activity

we
we can only express our true self only way to express our true nature is through our on what we have
correct
body mind
the are only
only through our human faculties can we express who we really are
but we need to use these faculties appropriately
this is the only way to express our true nature
so it means we need to know each situation
we need to know each situation we have to be fully involved fully engaged in our daily life you need situation nord completely if we are to express our true nature
so in other words having a good idea is not enough
by itself it's not enough
i'm working hard by itself is not enough
virtuous thing to work hard but by itself it's not enough
having sympathetic feelings
for someone or something it is not enough
and explore expressing enthusiasm is not enough each of these things
they be good to do but the alone
not enough they have to fit in the context of the total situation
so it's that easy to practice you know when it's convenient for us
easy to practice when it's convenient
then it's easy to be aware of what we're doing when we are excited you know
no even threatened
some somebody a few weeks we will give an example
somebody who pretty new to practice and his wife is not crack the satan he said
he said my wife became an instant zen person the other day but instinct
complete zen person the other day since we were on we went shopping with her little daughter in a department store and a bottle was lost
have a sudden she she was lost he says at that moment my wife became an instant and student
all of her faculties were on that
one point get will find little girl and she engaged everybody in store in this activity every with with her enthusiasm and her energy and her determination should go to everybody involved in looking for her daughter
august
easy to be aware when we feel excited or threatened and or she didn't say oh to the security guard would do would you look for my daughter while i go to the lingerie department you know
practice as if we had lost our little girl in the department store and we're looking for her fully engaged
it easy to practice when now that kind of thing happens easy can be very focused and fully aware when we are feel threatened you know we're excited
when it's easy to be kind when know something touches us emotionally
and it's easy to be quiet when when quiet suits us
but our practices to continue our awareness in her kindness and are quiet mind in every moment not just when convenient or when it suits us when we feel threatened or something like that my practice is to continue
those elements of practice awareness kindness quiet continue them all the time are they convenient or not or suits us or not just we continue
our practice is that way than we
really are practicing with everyone without exception
everyone people we like people we don't like we practice with everyone
when our activities are not simply personal activities
but we continue our awareness and our kindness and are quiet continually in every situation

we're always
the midst of a busy life that everybody has these days are we never leave we've never left the mystic world we always in the midst in the mystic world
world that we don't
what part of the universe that part of reality and that part of our life that we can't reach in touch with the rational mind call it a mistake or something like that we are always in this world is dick world
the life itself he knows mystical
i think the only us small portion of our life can we touch with the thinking mind only a small percentage of reality can we touch with a rational mind mostly we live in the mystic world that's beyond the rational
but even though we live
always live in the mystic world
the same time we are
i mean are full of activity and we are logical and we are emotional
when will we are creative we live everyday world
our mystic nature is expressed in our daily activities
this is the fundamental teaching
margot practice are a true mystic nature can only be expressed in daily activities
so
our formal practice or zazen practices
to resume return to express our mystic self the universal self recall universal self or an absolute
whatever however we want to say it and this this mystic self
this universal self is very fundamental primitive thing
the exists it before we act before we think before we feel very fundamental and primitive
but oh
these days
these days meanings for several centuries now we human beings have forgotten our mystic self
are we deny it
wouldn't deny our midst itself this has been going on for a long time
and when we forget or deny our midst itself we become we feel we feel separated
we feel separated from each other and separated from and the world around us because we
don't appreciate mystic self
when that happens
the activities of our daily life
have no meaning
we lost they lose their meaning and we're actually actually confused by what we're doing
i'm always looking we always search for the meaning of our daily activity but if we deny our midst itself we can never find that meaning let's just some activity we don't know is appropriate or not appropriate fit in the situation we're not it's just
it is to simply acting speaking feeling
not fitting in necessarily with situation i have to return to or
parent mystic self
oh
so what we're doing
when we understand that all this point when we understand this is a
what we're doing with our practice then we can learn is simply to walk on this earth without abusing our gifts
the walk on the earth without abusing our gifts
on a practice you know the words our practice is
not to miss use the gifts of our human nature
not to misuse and gifts of our humanity such as the incorrect of our mind which is a great gift
practices to walk on the earth without abusing this and many other gifts
this not abusing his the same thing as used appropriately
so even though we may have great intellect with we don't use it appropriately
are we use it inappropriately we actually are abusing it

when we don't practice we may miss this point entirely and cause great suffering
and will continue to suffer ourself
hmm
so we learned to set aside our ego
when necessary
sometimes we need to use our ego
in certain activities of daily life we must use personality or he goads do things in a certain way but we said set aside our ego and what we feel we want when necessary so that we don't abuse the gifts of our humanity
and so we learn to let go of pride
and of greed and fear
because we don't want to abuse the gifts of our life

hmm

when we see our practice in this way
this way
when we see our practices
understanding how to walk this earth without abusing the gifts that we have
then we go
come on we touch the mystic world we can feel that we touched the mister world and we can have true relationships with
with people and with a things of this world true relationships
not not car everyday relationships that are polite
cordial
not relationships that are simply helpful in other words not relationships that are are limited to the new monica buddha buddha who comes in human form to relationships
the to relationships with things and people means to have bodyshop for eyes bodhisattva eyes to see things in a very large way to not miss anything
to see things with an inherent quiet this is to see with bodhisattva eyes
to see things that way
see the entire situation means we never have any danger of abusing our gifts of our humanity
smaller touch them is to touch the mystic world means we
treat our human qualities with reverence because we see that are human qualities are nothing but a reflection of the mystic world
when we feel the texture of this point that there's no way we can abuse these gifts of our humanity
so it is important for us to understand our mistakes often
important not to deny our midst itself many people feel very uncomfortable when you say your mystic mystical
no no i'm just rational many people these days are uncomfortable with the idea that they are more than what they can see or feel or smell or touch
are you
hard for people to accept that they are more than what they are rational mind can get around more than that there who you really are is a includes what you can't see or hear people don't want to know about that
very this ah this comforting so when that happens we deny our mystic self and that's important that we do not
if we don't deny our midst itself
then we we can resume our quiet true nature
it doesn't
when we find increased confidence
when our midst itself will learn to trust it more and more
learn to accept it more and more and my faith in it
in thousand we have trust in our inherent enlightened nature or a mystic self
so as and is the best way to express our true self
doesn't know thousand the no attachment no desire no goal nothing personal no concern for achieving anything
no
in recent recent days in recent months
i'm continually find myself coming back to that a written that very first story about how then set you started
always come back to it such simple story you all heard it i'm sure you read about it and heard about it when suzuki roshi first came to san francisco and he was with
so koji that japanese american congregation in the mission and that congregation
didn't sit zazen suzuki roshi came to this country and he said by himself every morning and in the night just he just went and sat that's all and the one day
caucasian found him i guess somebody was have heard about zen and looked up presents them zam mission and he found suzuki roshi
i'm interested in and can you can you teach me suzuki roshi said i sit every morning you can join me
he joined them and little by little others joined sitting and from out of that fundamental beginning we have
have this
we have tassajara being auctioned many different affiliated centers now
i want to learn about zen
please sit with me
suzuki roshi said as doesn't just sit i don't have to explain anything from to just sit
these were saying without being explicit design is the best way to express yourself zazen and is the best way to understand your to nature so sit without attachment or desire or any goals just sit with your unselfish effort
lauzon is how we trust our midst itself
when do we cannot touch it with our thinking mind

from do however in time for question
do to hit
does anybody please let me know when the time is
there's anybody have a question

another said when she said
man
wrong
yes yes
yes you can feel the texture of our entire life if we just
thank you hell

will be entered into for a movie
mr day
no can always exists mystic world and up not exactly state
rhetoric is important
mystic artistic nature never diminishes
never just never never goes away
if we get to personally involved in the everyday world we forget
we lose touch with a mystic so so-called mystic side of ourself but it doesn't go away we clouded be clouded we can say that maybe
who stood accused of or groups
what about aspiration good
flu
our last three
no
not if we're ready to let go
if the situation calls for us to let go
and we should be ready to let go
but if we very stubborn about something then we mine gets cloudy
so even though we have the most precious thing in the world if we ready to let go and we always know who we are so it's this readiness to
and god bless pesca point of our practice so we can have
it was okay to have aspirations and ambitions and all these things they are not inherently wrong not inherently wrong but if we to to grasping been a cause a problem
so we practice
appreciate our mystic self and go out on the world with the aspiration
but always we come back
yes
used to

obviously in a situation you just turning
i
who's cry was heard
i have is never disturbed
you might get confused
it's not like
well

yes yes yes
oh

but it's if we disturb someone else's our practice
it is a it is if we are abusing of fundamental quiet
you know the though
tenth precept can precept was don't abuse the three treasures
an abuse of buddha dharma sangha
we can't ah
we can stain buddha you know we kept ah destroy buddha
but we abuse buddha if we don't take care of things
we abuse the dharma if we
are indifferent
so in the same way that i am inherent quiet has never
disturbed but we abuse it if we
disturb somebody else's quiet
everyone is trying to return to this quiet it if we disturbed somebody else's returning to quiet we abuse a quiet
so we treat the fundamental are inherent quiet with great reverence through daily activities
not not easy to talk about this kind of thing
thank you

yeah swimming
of be ready let go
i don't understand that you
reconcile certainly activities
how
prior
we're seeing you around not letting go
several demonstrations outcomes nine out of this time of massachusetts string
house a reviews crossed cycles a certain phrases as traditional as they asked grassroots
density
yes say this is with the regime
the artist was just starting goes system japanese
how
right right so regime
being stubborn was ready i know any of our old textures etc
ddc yes
so anyway
it's just what i noticed i know ross eruption or the rascals i think is okay those are problems like grow
i asked
i don't know what that situation was that time
hmm who knows
maybe he felt
let the person who was speaking to him wasn't letting go of their idea
i it's hard to say exactly ah once
another example strikes me similar to what you said dumps somebody i said this is a hiroshi long time ago when the practice was first starting here said the why do we do three bows
he said sugiura she said from now on we do nine about
because he wanted that person to let go of their idea of
when they were idea they had about bows so instead of same all didn't argue with he's at all for no one will be nothing was so can a today the tradition here is nine backless and i heard that's how it started because he was telling someone let go let go just about just read go test bow
maybe he did the think thing with this it he said you like plywood let go of plywood the heat is this but on the other hand maybe it maybe he maybe suzuki roshi was stubborn about these i don't know offer
at some point we will have to let go of these cars can kick him anymore you know
and our place in mountain view we use plywood we don't have these
hmm and don't know
we have to know the situation is what it means
if
not being there at the time this decision was made i i don't want to say
libby