This past week has been... a week of... and natural disaster and consequences of the natural disaster in human-made situations, human-made conditions.

[01:01]

And the feelings of helplessness and sadness and compassion have been arising for many, many of us. And today, in our one day sitting, we have a chance to sit this whole day like mountains in a mountain posture and stabilize ourselves and practice in a simple straightforward way, which is not different from facing war, natural disaster, sickness, death.

[02:25]

There's a Another name for zazen in Japanese, gotsu, gotsu gotsu chi, or gotsu za, which refers to a kind of mountain plateau, a kind of high mountain plateau where there's no trees. And if you can imagine being such a plateau and the wind coming and nothing really moving, This morning there were high, strong winds that wrapped around the zendo, and to be able to sit in the midst of strong winds of all kinds, inner winds, outer winds, and to sit to sit in an immovable way, is of benefit.

[03:46]

It's not of benefit, it is benefit. So how do we practice with these strong winds whipping around us, winds of the kleshas, the strong emotional states that come up where we're gripped or feel like we're taken over sometimes with hatred and anger, fear, doubt, pride, arrogance, jealousy, envy. These are the winds. These are strong winds that whip within and without.

[04:51]

So sometimes we might feel that because we have these kinds of strong experiences, we may feel we're a terrible practitioner or we'll never be able to practice. Or if I were really a Zen student, then I wouldn't feel jealousy or anger. And I think that's more of the same. That's another kind of... confused idea that takes hold. So these states that we can find ourselves in feeling separate and lonely and longing for something other than this

[06:04]

very moment, we may be embarrassed about that or ashamed or wanting to avoid even knowing about it. And in avoiding, we may practice in a more rigid way or hold to something that we feel looks good. These are, in some ways, more subtle difficulties with our practice. I think the easier difficulties are just...

[07:09]

Can I do what I said I was going to do? Can I follow the schedule? If I come for a one-day sitting, can I practice the forms of the one-day sitting, practice observing silence, being on time, and all the forms? And in some ways, that can be a big challenge, but it's very, I think it's more simple. Difficult but kind of simple. Straightforward. And I think what gets more tricky and more hard to practice with are these ways that we can fool ourselves and justify the fooling. And it's hard to get at that. So to sit in Gotsu Za, or Gotsu Gotsu Chi, immovable sitting, is not a rigid... It's an alive stillness, an alive immovability, just the way our body is.

[08:44]

Our body is never truly still. Even a body that has died, There's movement of decay and changes that are happening. Nothing is ever totally immovable in this world of impermanence. So taking this posture that's mountain-like and totally dedicated to immovable sitting means not rigid holding the posture, but feeling the alive pulsing of our body and breath. It isn't gross movements, but there is movement. As we're fully functioning, there's movement.

[09:47]

And the breath... We feel the rising and falling of the belly and the diaphragm. And if we look carefully enough, we feel throughout the body the movement of the breath, maybe starting from the belly and then all the different places up through the spine, through the extremities, the pelvis, the legs. There's movement and pulsing. if we're relaxed in this gotsu gotsu chi, in this gotsu za, the relaxation of a live mountain. Our usual tendencies are when there's discomfort or pain to change, do something to change that right away.

[10:51]

And in our Zazen practice, because we're practicing with immovability, total devotion to immovable sitting, when pain comes up of various kinds, we've made a commitment to stay very, very, very still. And so we can study all-inclusively we can study our tendencies to want to get away from our life, get away from our painful thoughts or emotions or bodily sensations. So how can we devote ourselves to a movable sitting and not be reacting in reactionary mode? and yet experience whatever comes up without running away.

[11:56]

This is, I think, more subtle practice. Although it's exactly what's given the first day someone receives meditation instruction, we receive the whole thing, but we may not understand the subtleties of it, what happens when you sit still. So we, as sentient beings, as human beings, we have deeply hardwired, deeply ingrained, deeply embedded the image of a selfhood, the image that we carry and act from of a separate self, of a selfhood.

[12:59]

And, you know, this morning we had the full moon ceremony. This particular moon, some of you may know, is the moon is in its closest relationship with the earth at its, the apogee is the farthest away and the, not pedigree, the pedigree is the closest that the moon can. comes to the earth. So supposedly it was supposed to have looked larger. But in any case, the full moon, we were lucky enough to have the full moon right at this time, I think at 520 or something, it was full. And to have our full moon, monthly full moon ceremony, exactly as the moon became full, feels auspicious. to be able to practice that ceremony, which is, as many of you know, the oldest Buddhist ceremony predates Buddhism, where wandering religious ascetics and religious people would get together on the new and the full moon to practice, and that became the practice of the monks and nuns.

[14:21]

And it was a time to look at actions of body, speech, and mind, the precepts, and also to give teachings and to hear teachings and to practice together, because the monks and nuns at that time had solitary forest practices. The nuns went in twos. The monks often were by themselves. So to come together to practice on the full and the new moon. And in this practice this morning, we started out, as we do our service every morning here, we started out with the confession, with acknowledging and admitting this very, what I said before, this deeply embedded belief in an image of selfhood that we are

[15:24]

this delusion that we have of our self-separateness. And out of that basic ignorance and basic delusion comes actions of body, speech, and mind, born of the kleshas, born of these strong, sometimes called afflicted states, sometimes called poisons, emotional arisings, and we act from there. And those various arisings stem from, flow from this deluded belief and image of a separate self. Now, one might think with that story that I just told that Well, there's no way out.

[16:24]

So now what? So these actions of our body, speech, and mind are constantly flowing from this deluded, afflicted, harmful, you might say, states, and we're just caught in that. And that's end of story. This is a description maybe of samsara. continuing actions that create more conditions for continuing actions that cause suffering. But that isn't the end of the story. And I, so how so? How isn't it the end of story? And our experience, our feeling these difficult and deluded states and feeling the suffering, knowing the suffering that we cause ourself and others, seeing the results

[17:50]

all over of greed, hate, and delusion, out of this, right in the middle of this, right in the middle of this pain, actually, and suffering, and seeing and feeling caught in, out of this, in response to this pain, in response to this suffering, comes the the strong wish to practice. And that strong wish, that way-seeking mind, that wanting to live in such a way that we don't cause suffering, that very thought, that very thought that arises in the midst of a suffering being doesn't come out of greed, hate, and delusion.

[18:55]

It comes from, or it is the expression of, in this body, body-mind, the reality body of the Buddha, or the Dharmakaya. This is the Dharmakaya, the reality body of the Buddha, in a koan, in the blue, not the blue, Cliff Records, in the Book of Serenity, is called the Reality Body of the Buddha, and it's a statement. It's called Sao Shan's Reality Body. Sao Shan was one of Tozan's disciples. So Salshan asked Elder De, the Buddha's true reality body, or the Dharmakaya, is like space.

[20:01]

It manifests form in response to beings. The Dharmakaya is sort of an ungraspable-like space. However, takes form or manifests form in response to beings, like the moon reflected in the water. And then he says, how do you explain this principle of response? So in the midst of a suffering life and a suffering consciousness, psychophysical body, and seeing suffering and feeling caught, Right in the middle of this suffering, there comes this wanting to practice, wanting to live in such a way that we're of benefit. It's not exactly a miracle, although you might call it a miracle.

[21:07]

I certainly have felt it to be like a miracle. I think when I first started practicing it, That song, Amazing Grace, really spoke to me. That line, such a wretch as me, to have found a practice that met me and met this suffering and causing of suffering. So this response... doesn't come out of the clashes and these afflicted states and this image of selfhood. This is the Dharmakaya responding to beings, the reality body of Buddha responding to beings. And it comes to deluded beings. It responds to delusion. What else would it be responding to? It takes form in...

[22:09]

with deluded beings. So our practice, you know, coming from the Buddha body. And you might... Now, it's important here to not think of it as something like some separate thing outside of us. The reason that the Dharmakaya... is responding to this deluded being and suffering being is because we are interdependently not separate from, not dualistically separate from the Dharmakaya, from the reality body of the Buddha. The reality body of the Buddha does not stop here, you know, with this deluded being. The reality body... permeates and responds to this suffering.

[23:11]

So to have a turn towards practice, to want to come to a one-day sitting, to want to be in a practice period, to want to sit, to want to follow the precepts, this, in the midst of a deluded, with notions of separate selfhood and images, and also with greed, hate, and delusion. That doesn't stop it. Greed, hate, and delusion isn't strong enough to stop the reality body of the Buddha from taking form, like the moon reflected in water. It doesn't matter if the water is, you know, rough or murky, or the moon reflects in all the puddles, right, an inch wide, or the big ocean. So your very practice is the Dharmakaya responding. This koan, he asks, you know, how do you explain this principle of Dharmakaya taking form in response to beings?

[24:41]

like the moon in the water, and Master Da says it's like a donkey looking in a well. Now, recent scholarship has found that there was a mistake, actually, in this transcription of this Gohan, and it was the character for donkey, even though you find this all over, it was actually not a donkey. It was another character for a pulley, Those of you who know the koan, you might say, oh, darn it, I really love the fact that this donkey was looking in the well. Never understood what it meant, but I always liked it. It's like a donkey looking in the well, but I'd like to switch it to this pulley. So you have this mechanism, this pulley, that functions with the well, right, to lower the bucket down and raise the bucket up. You've got this

[25:42]

mechanism, right, that hangs there over the well. This is how I picture it. So De said, it's like a pulley looking in the well. And Saoshan said, you said a lot indeed, but you only said 80%. And De said, Saoshan is the teacher. De said, well, what about you, teacher? And Saoshan said, it's like the well looking at the pulley. This is a wonderful image. I picture it like a wishing well, kind of this round well with this pulley, and you've got the pulley looking at the well, and you've got the well looking back up at the pulley as the fullness of, how do you describe this principle? And the way I've been stumped by this koan for, you know... 30 years, but I love it.

[26:43]

And this latest turn with this pulley, what I picture is this pulley is a small mechanism that functions according to when it's needed, otherwise it just hangs there. But it's this functioning thing, fully functioning, and it's reflected in this well, this water. And the water... And the reflection and the functioning and the pulley only functions because there's water in the well. The pulley, otherwise it would have no function. So the two are interdependent, yes? The water and the pulley work together to bring water to beings, right? And the two reflect each other. So I just want to come back to this point again.

[27:56]

Our turn towards practice, our wanting to practice, our taking up practice, our wanting to follow the precepts in the midst of, like a lotus in muddy water, like a lotus, the beauty of the lotus flower that only, only blooms and grows in muddy water. The lotus does not grow in clear water. The lotus grows in these lagoon-like places with murky, muddy... That's where the lotus grows. That's where our practice grows. That's what we need in that, without our suffering difficulties and greed, hate, and delusion, which... we experience, there wouldn't be a turn for our practice. If things were heavenly, like in the certain realms of it's so comfortable and so perfect and so beautiful and we're so beautiful, there wouldn't be this draw to take up our life and to practice.

[29:17]

So this lotus... lotus and muddy water, may we exist like this. So in some ways, our delusion itself is the occasion for the Dharmakaya to come. And when we call for help, when we ask for help, when we say, you know, may the Buddhas and ancestors support us and bring their compassion to us, this is the Buddha itself calling for the Buddha. This is only a Buddha and a Buddha. This is Buddha calling for Buddha.

[30:19]

own turn towards practice and wanting to practice is the resonance of awakening of the Dharmakaya, the reality body, and our own body, our human body, which is Dharma body. So when we ask the Buddha to come, when we call on the bodhisattvas, Avalokiteshvara, Kandzeon, to help and to support us and to help us wake up, that is the Buddha calling the Buddha. There's another Zen story that... give you too many stories to turn around, but this is a wonderful koan that illustrates this.

[31:45]

This is called The Fire God Seeks for Fire. And there was once a monk named Shwanza who was in the community of Fasan, Fayan. And Fayan asked him once after He had been around for a while, never had come for Doksan to talk with him. He said, Shwanzaa, how long have you been in this community? And Shwanzaa said, oh, I've been here about three years studying with you. And the master said, well, you're kind of a latecomer. You've never come to even talk with me about the Buddha Dharma. And Shwanzaa said, I cannot deceive you, master, but when I was studying with the Zen master Shwing Fang, I mastered the place of ease and joy in the Buddha Dharma. I basically, you know, I really finished my study. And so that's why I don't come and talk with you.

[32:46]

And the master said, well, with what words did you wake up? With what words did you enter understanding? And Schwansa said, well, when I was with Xing Fang, I asked him, what is the self of a Zen student? What is the self of a Zen student? And he said, the fire god is here to look for fire. And Fayan said, that's a very good statement, but I'm afraid you didn't understand it. And Schwansa said, the fire god belongs to fire. So I understand that fire looks for fire and self looks for self. The master said, indeed, you did not understand. If Buddha Dharma were like that, it would not have been transmitted until now. We would have lost it long ago if it was as simple as that. And Schwansa was very distressed, and he decided to leave that teacher.

[33:53]

He went away. But on his way out, he asked himself, and he thought, the teacher's a renowned teacher in this country. He's a great leader. He had 500 monks here studying with him. And his criticism of my fault ought to have some point behind it. So he went back, and he went back to Fayan, and he apologized and said, what is the self of a Zen student? And Fayan said, the fire god comes seeking fire. And upon hearing that, Xuanzav was... fully awakened. So this story for me is, you know, we have this Schwansa who's very, I would say, filled with his own maybe spiritual pride or something.

[34:56]

He feels like he really knows and that he's had a full realization that he doesn't have to do really any more studying or any more working on himself or asking about the Dharma. And he's just hanging out at this monastery for years, three years or so. The word arrogance, you know, means to take... It actually means to take what is not given in some way. It means to take... for yourself to abrogate or take for yourself that which doesn't really belong in terms of one's opinion of oneself, either in the community or in other ways. So I find that an interesting way to think about arrogance as taking what is not given along with the other problems with arrogance.

[35:57]

Anyway, I think he might have had this klesha of arrogance, so much so that he didn't avail himself of, and didn't feel he needed to, of the teachings and so forth. But in this exchange, when he said, well, tell me about your enlightenment, what it was, and he said, well, when I was with this other teacher, I asked, what is the self of his own student? And the teacher said, the fire God seeks for fire. And I... he must have understood something. And maybe sort of a small understanding leads maybe more towards arrogance sometimes. When Dharma does not fill your body and mind, you think it's sufficient, as the Ganjo Kohan says. Sometimes just some kind of experience or sense of understanding pushes us into a kind of arrogance or

[36:59]

When dharma doesn't fill our body and mind, we think it's sufficient. We think we know everything. So the teacher said, you know, that's a very good statement, but I don't think you understand it. And Schwansa said, but, you know, I understand fire looks for fire, and the self looks for the self. Now I'm sure you don't understand what you're talking about. So then he... In arrogance, I think he packs his stuff and says, okay, I'm out of here. This guy doesn't know anything right. But he thought better of it, you know, on his way out. This is a renowned teacher. He's got all these students. I wonder what's up here. I think I'll go back. And apologized. So his, I picture that, that very moment of, wait a minute here. Maybe some kind of self-reflection about, is this too hasty? Do I know? What about this other person?

[38:00]

And that turn, maybe at the gate or after he'd been going with his traveling outfit for a while, he turns with this mind of, gee, maybe I should ask some more. Am I so sure? And with that mind, maybe not so arrogant anymore, but more humble, grounded, He goes back and he goes to the teacher and I imagine he bowed to the teacher because it says he apologized and then asked again from that place of wanting to understand and more humble, grounded, don't know mind rather than I know all about it. It's don't know mind. Not knowing is most intimate. Don't know. What is the self of a Zen student? And Fayan said, the fire god seeks for fire. That very practice of asking the question, coming back, bowing, offering oneself, wanting to understand, is... that practice, having that practice mind, is...

[39:21]

the Dharmakaya, that practice is no different from only a Buddha and a Buddha. That is the Buddha expressing itself, his or herself, oneself. That's the reality body. The fire god seeks for fire. The way-seeking mind is itself. The way is itself Buddha mind. our very asking the question, wanting to practice, asking for help, is the Buddha asking for help? So when we look into our life, when we study our life, when we ask about it and dedicate ourselves and take refuge and practice acknowledging and admitting all these practices are coming from, are flowing from our own true self, our awakened mind.

[40:50]

That's how it manifests, just like that. And Dogen says, and this is wisdom seeking wisdom, this is fire god seeking fire. To see and accept this part of us, that this is our own true self, as Dogen says, is to be the Buddha, the world-honored one, seeing and accepting. It's hard. It's hard to accept. So today...

[41:53]

Let's sit and feel settled in this and confident in our practice body-mind. The only reason we're here is this resonance of awakening, is fire God seeking fire, way-seeking mind. And to have confidence in that and practice thoroughly as the world-honored ones seeing and accepting this life. So take your place in gotsu gotsu chi, gotsu gotsu chi. on your plateau of immovability and let the winds blow. Thank you very much.

[43:01]

Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving. by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[43:28]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_98.2