This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Well, good evening, everyone. It's really great to see all of you. And I think I might be able to see more of you at one time in a Dharma talk this way than I could if it was live. So you're all just right there. So hello, good to see you. My name is Sozan Michael McClord. I'm greatly thankful to my teacher, Ryushin Paul Haller, for his teachings and for our Tonto, Oren Nancy Petron, who invited me to speak this evening. Many of you might have seen, but this last Friday, our late civil rights leader and conscience of Congress, John Lewis, died.

[01:08]

And his passing was something that was a marker. It was a passing of an era. It was the end of a life, and it was the end of a life of someone who could have been bitter. who could have been angry. His life was in the midst of a lot of struggle and a lot of oppression. He's the last of the six people who spoke at the mall in Washington in 1963 to pass. And with his passing, we lost someone who was not only tough, not only resilient, but someone who led in another way. And that's what I want to talk about this evening. You know, in 1963, there was the March on Washington and where Martin Luther King, Reverend King had his speech of, I have a dream.

[02:16]

And John Lewis spoke there as well. In 1965, he was there on the bridge in Selma, Alabama. which was the linchpin for a lot of what happened with the Voting Rights Act a few weeks after. And many times, he was arrested 40 times. He was beaten many times. People thought around that period of time that of the people who were engaged in the civil rights movement, who were at the forefront of it, he was probably one of those who would not survive. And he was very resilient and very tough. And in 1986, he was elected to Congress, and he held that seat ever since from a district in Georgia. And throughout his life, he was someone who had great joy. He's someone who had an exuberance, who had a forgiveness, who had a connectedness to other people, who had a certain buoyancy about life.

[03:24]

After his passing, I started looking up different things about his life, and I saw a video that apparently encapsulated what he tended to do whenever music played. He had these kind of quirky dances that he liked to do, and he was incredibly joyous about this. And there's just so many different things in his life where he had this exuberance, and he had this joy, and he was not a bitter man. And he grew up in rural Alabama, born in 1940, in a time where if you were a child born in rural Alabama in 1940 and you were black, you were probably going to face a lot of oppression. Not only that, he also had a stutter and his family was poor and he was out in the country and he didn't have a lot. And he always wanted to be a preacher and he always wanted to have a congregation. He was drawn to that from a very young age. But he didn't have much. So this is one of my favorite stories about him.

[04:28]

There's several stories. This is apparently one that he always told. And it is about chickens. He didn't have a flock. He didn't have anyone to preach to. So when he was a kid, they had chickens on their farm. And he would go out and he would preach to the chickens. And he didn't just preach to the chickens. He poured his heart into them. He connected with them. He baptized his chickens. He did marriages for his chickens. He eulogized his chickens when they died, and he had burial ceremonies. He had this entire life going with just a little bit. He didn't have much, but he wanted to do this thing in life we had a passion for, so he poured his energy into these chickens. And they received his love and his passion and his sermons. He was only 23 when he gave the speech in Washington in 1963, the youngest one who did. But he had a lot of practice.

[05:30]

And he had a lot of joy and exuberance about his life. And when I was reading about that, I was thinking about what is going on in this world right now. I was thinking about how, for me, I would really like stuff to change around me so I can be happier again. I would like to have more joy back in my life. And I don't necessarily feel quite as joyous, quite as buoyant, quite as light about things. Things feel a little bit heavy. And I realize I've kind of bought into this concept that my joy and what is happening around me, what I am receiving from the world, what is happening to me, is maybe a little bit too much with what I'm associating with my joy and my happiness. We have social unrest. We have a pandemic. We have political unrest. And these things are really heavy. But they don't necessarily have to take away the deep-seated joy that comes especially from this practice of Buddhism.

[06:41]

And something that people all around the world have found in different ways when they look within and just connected to what they had and to what was going on right now and didn't look to receive or acquire something. The conditions of our life certainly impact us, but they don't dictate whether we will have a life of deep-seated joy. I came across this quote from a Buddhist philosopher and meditation teacher in the Tibetan tradition. named Scott Tusa. And it really encapsulates what I have been thinking and feeling around joy and around reflecting on my life in the middle of a pandemic and this life that Congressman John Lewis lived. Scott Tusa writes, it might seem strange to turn inward when there are so many external problems as though meditating in the mouth of a crocodile. But that is why joy is a radical act.

[07:44]

In the face of increasing political and social polarization, connecting with and nurturing our inner joy is not just a matter of self-care, but a matter of survival. We have to return to the root of the problem, which is the mistaken belief that joy can be hoarded, seized, commodified, when in fact, real joy is contagious. And if we see that truth inside ourselves, when we see it reflected in the world and everyone who inhabits it, that's when we realize that a common enemy is difficult to find. I find myself buying into the concept here and there throughout the day that I will be happier when. I will be happier when. Now, this term joy, this word joy, in a lot of the Buddhist texts, both in Pali and Sanskrit, two ancient languages, have a lot of the Buddhist texts written in them.

[08:47]

This word mudita means joy. And it's oftentimes translated, especially with sympathetic or vicarious joy. Sympathetic or vicarious joy. I was thinking about the way that this word is translated and how it's used in relation to a story from Congressman Lewis. There was an individual who back in the 60s was a member of the KKK. And years later, in the 1990s, he visited John Lewis in Washington with his son and basically came there for forgiveness. The way the story was told, they just sat. They talked a little bit. They held hands and they cried. And there was a sense of forgiveness. And that gentleman went back home and he said that he felt that he had been with someone that had an amazing heart.

[09:49]

This is a person that had his skull fractured. This is a person who was arrested 40 times, who feared for his life. a sympathetic and vicarious joy. Here is a person who is seeking forgiveness. Now, what's the process? I mean, it would be great to be joyful, but what is the process? What is the ways in which we engage so that we can maybe have this vicarious joy? Where does that come from? Well, there are four immeasurables in the Buddhist tradition in what is called the path of purification. And this is written in the early fifth century by a scholar and commentator named Buddha Gosa. And these practices include mudita. There's four of them. And they're often practiced by taking each of them in turn and applying them to oneself and then to others.

[10:54]

You apply them to yourself and then to others nearby and so on and then out to the world. And so we start with our struggle. We start with that sympathetic and vicarious holding of what is happening for us. Now, oftentimes joy in our modern vernacular is kind of viewed as something that is maybe excitement or something that is coming from without, something that happens to us that makes us joyful. And there is a definition of the word that's used that way. But this is talking about an innate, inner joy that sees the connectedness of things, that is looking at what is happening. And so in the path of purification, when people start out, they start out by looking at within. And in our practice in Sojo Zen, you would start with honoring your struggle. And we do that in a formal practice of Zazen. And the way that Zazen honors your struggle is that you are sitting, I am sitting,

[12:01]

And the whole popcorn of everything that's happened to us just kind of starts unfolding. And we're sitting there in meditation. And I might be upset. I might be happy. I might be this or I might be that. But the joy piece comes from connecting to what is actually happening. It doesn't mean that I'm excited and happy the whole time I'm sitting Sazen. But it means that this process, this formal process of practicing being with the universe, with what the universe is handing me, is something that who knows exactly how it happens, but through centuries of studying this, being with what is coming up for me at this moment and having the patience to hold it gently and with love and to be there with it, to be there with my upsetness, to be there with my frustration, to be there with my lack of focus, or to be there with my joy, starts to build something that is connected to this inner joy. that has to do with seeing through the fixed nature of reality and has to do with the temporariness of life, because these things just come inside of us and they happen and they pass and something else happens and it passes.

[13:13]

And in the translations of Dogen by Kaz Tanahashi, one of the first people who translated Dogen completely into the English language, back in 85, he had a partial book of Dogen translations called and in the part about Zazen, in what we've translated as the universal call to sitting, there's this line in there that says, Zazen is not learning to do concentration. It is the Dharma gate of great ease and joy. Zazen is not learning to do concentration. It is the Dharma gate of great ease and joy. That's how it was translated in moon and a dew drop. And it didn't say it is the great Dharma gate to great ease and joy. That do this and then you will receive one day great ease and joy. It is the Dharma gate of great ease and joy. You can start right now.

[14:15]

You can touch it right now. It is the phenomenon of what is happening right now. And it is the Dharma gate of great ease and joy. And giving reverence to that struggle that is going on inside and noticing that there is a struggle, that my nose is itching and I don't want my nose to itch. We call this the school of immovable sitting. And once my nose goes itching, I will get back to that Zazen stuff, that joyous stuff. But right now, my nose is itching. I don't know if I made everybody scratch their face out there. I'm sorry if I did. But the... School of the movable sitting, and I know you're not necessarily sitting as Osmond right now, so scratch your face. But it is not wishing away what's happening, learning to be there with the thing that's happening, just being with what is coming up. And we start with that.

[15:16]

And then we move out to how we hold these things that come up. And then we learn to be with what is in our immediate, in our world around us. In the old tradition, they wouldn't give monks many possessions. You know, they would just give them a couple of things. And they will learn to revere these things. Not as though they're fixed properties that can never break or go away, but just the exact opposite. They realize that these objects will go away and so they revere them. But this right now, this object is here. I have a bowl and this bowl sustains my life. I go out on rounds and I beg with this bowl. And this bowl is something that I am connected to because of how I hold it with two hands and I put it in a certain place. And there's a certain revering of the objects, just like I am revering the thing that comes up inside me that might be anger. I didn't choose to be angry or jealousy or anxiousness in a pandemic. I didn't choose to be anxious. But can I hold that gently?

[16:17]

Can I hold that with acceptance? Can that be just what's happening right now? And can I let that actually be something that ends up over time calming me and letting me touch something that is the innate joy that's in the universe? One of our stories about the bowl or about objects has to do with a monk that really wants to understand the teachings of Zen. And so this monk, goes and says to this teacher, the teacher's name is Shaoxu. And Shaoxu, the monk goes to Shaoxu and says, I've just entered the monastery. Please teach me. And Shaoxu says, have you eaten your rice grill? And the monk says, yes, I have. And Shaoxu says, wash your bowl. And that's it. What's happening right now? You have this object. You hold it with two hands.

[17:18]

What's happening now? You ate your food. Now it's time to wash your bowl. And that's it. Just letting this be enough. I always want to do things that seemingly are more consequential, let's say. Something that seems more overt. A big accomplishment. one of my friends throughout this term one time when we were talking about the conservation of species on this planet and talking about different things that were going on in regards to whales, in regards to polar bears and different things that's really good efforts are put around to conserve. And they said, yeah, that's just charismatic megafa. And I thought that was A really interesting term is that that's just charismatic megafauna. And it wasn't to, you know, demean saving whales, but it was basically saying that's really overt.

[18:24]

And, you know, every day, you know, there's a few thousand little tiny insects that go extinct. And there's so many things that happen that are seemingly inconsequential, that aren't so charismatic, that aren't so beautiful, that are just this little thing over here. And I want to get on and do the exciting thing. I want to have the Zazen that is that nice, even flow of Kensho where I am just really in this groove with the universal. I don't want to be sitting there with my nose ditching, distracted on a morning of Zazen. That's not the Zazen I want. I want charismatic megafauna. I want to save the whales. I want to be with the thing that is more overt, the real stuff. Letting this be enough. If all you have are chickens to preach to, embrace chickens. I want to do something. I want to have an energy to activity, to move forward.

[19:28]

And yet many of the things that we do naturally, that we all do, don't involve just trying real hard and squinting. They're kind of things that we set up a context for and then they just unfold. We set up a context for our practice and then we start to inherit it. How do I fall asleep? How does that work? Well, do I lie down? And for years I suffered with insomnia, so I thought a lot about sleep. And the way that I don't fall asleep is for me to lie down and go, okay, I'm going to go to sleep. One, two, three, go sleep. Sleep, that's not how it works. And so many times in life, I feel like that's how it's going to happen. I'm going to summon joy. Sometimes it's really much more mundane than that in regard to connecting with what's happening right now. I fall asleep by setting a context half an hour before.

[20:32]

I might quit looking at screens. I might take a shower. I might wind down. I might have a cup of tea. You know, there could be various things. And then somehow or another, you know, all of a sudden I'm asleep. You know, it's not something that I saw. It just happens. I set a context for it. And then all of a sudden I'm sleeping. And hopefully now after you scratched your face, I hope I didn't put you to sleep. But there's this thing that happens that we set stages for. And we're looking to set the stage for connecting to that inner joy. To where we can be in the midst of something like what is going on right now in all of our lives. And we can actually be joyous. There are so many things that... I want to get done with and happy finished.

[21:36]

I want to have this pandemic finished and I can get back to the life that was at least happier. Now, if you would have asked me in January, if I was just super happy all the time, I would have probably said, well, no, I mean, I'm doing pretty good. But right now, for whatever reason, it just seems like it would be a lot of fun to go back to like early January and not have to have all these restrictions and all of this kind of tension. But that's an illusion. This is actually a golden opportunity. Sometimes we don't have the opportunity to see the landscape with such clarity. And through hard times, there are different things that get fired in that cauldron that couldn't have been formed in any other way. The Buddha left the life of opulence and went out to something that was way more harsh to really touch what was going on and to be with the suffering of the world. Right now, I don't have much of a choice of that, but I'm even still here in the first world.

[22:39]

There are people that don't have the luxury of their cities shutting down for three or four months. That's the sign of a really wealthy city. And so there is this kind of topography of my life that has the spotlight that's being shown on it right now. And it's all the little nooks and crannies that maybe I couldn't see in the past. And I see all the ways now that I am wishing away today. And all the ways that I am feeling like I have a reason not to be happy. I have a reason not to be joyous or to be light. Of course, I'm heavy. Of course, I'm serious. Of course, maybe I'm a little depressed. Things are hard, and they are hard, and I'm not needing to make light of the difficulties that we're going through, but I'm just trying to talk about that hope and that peace of this Buddhist practice that has been there since the very beginning that has to do with that inner joy, which is what is happening right now, and not looking outside for happiness.

[23:47]

not looking for happiness to come to me and to happen to me." You know, the Congressman John Lewis was also known as the conscience of Congress because of how he embraced people, because of how he reached across the aisle. And one of the stories that I really love about him and his kind of inner peace with what is going on and his ability to reach out and connect to what's going on to other people has to do with the story of when Peggy Wallace Kennedy was invited to Selma to march across the Edmund Pettus Bridge in 2009 for a commemoration of the 1965 march across that bridge that ended violently. that set in motion what became the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Act in 1965. A few weeks later, the president went on TV and symbolically had the momentum of the country because of what was seen on that bridge.

[24:51]

And they revisited that moment. And Congressman Lewis was in the front of that march on March 7th, 1965. And he was there and beaten and now was back in 2009. And Peggy Wallace Kennedy was the daughter of George Wallace, who was the governor of the state of Alabama at the time, who was a segregationist and who refused to send in any protection for the marchers. And she was sitting by herself in a tent, and he walked up and introduced himself. And through that entire ceremony, they held hands. And there was no sense in him that he needed to hold a grudge and be angry. There was just this acceptance of this other person.

[25:58]

And in her biography, and it was either a biography or a book that she wrote a few years later, she said, I don't think that man has an unlovable bone in his body. It's that kind of inner joy, that kind of vicariousness of connecting to someone else's suffering and to their life that this practice is all about. It is a deep-seated joy that doesn't have to go away because today is not a good day or because I was wrong. It is something that can be cultivated Through these practices. Of being with. What is happening. Being with the rope. And being with the bowl. And setting those stages for joy. Have I done the most recent thing.

[27:05]

That the world has asked of me. Not yet. We'll do that thing. I get up. And my meditation can be. Making my bed. And not to get it done and not to be finished with the bed making. But to just embrace it the way that Congressman Lewis embraced his chickens. And just be there with the bed and with the bedspread and with the pillows and letting the mundane catch on fire. Like a black and white real film with technicolor splashed across it. Because it's coming alive. because the present moment is catching on fire because it isn't mundane. It is what is happening now. It is the thing that's happening. So why not let it be the most important thing that could be possibly happening on the planet and the thing that deserves a hundred percent of your attention. And so we just wash our bowl and we make our bed and we let ourselves be in the thing that's happening right now wholeheartedly and not wishing away today.

[28:15]

For that day in the future that will come when I can get back and I can see my friends and take my mask off and go out to a restaurant and not have to worry about some of these things. Right now, I'm just sitting with 53 other beautiful people on a Wednesday night. And this is as good as it gets. This is what's happening right now. And this is my life. This is your life. So we just focus on this process of being with and revering and learning to have a reverence and a sacredness for what's happening right now in this person's struggle. Learning to have it through the way that I engage with the objects around me and being with the people that I see in my universe and being with their struggle and touching that. And through that, cultivating an inner joy. where you don't know why you just laid down and one day you went to sleep.

[29:19]

One day you woke up and somehow or another some molecules of compassion crawled into your life for that person that's always been that impossible person. And so we're not looking outside for happiness. The joy of connecting to what is real and is arising, that is the cultivation of inner joy. the joy of connecting to what is real and arising. This is the cultivation of inner joy. And so I'm really glad that all of you are here tonight, that we are being able to see each other. I don't know what would have happened, you know, in 1993 before the internet, we would have been sequestered all by ourselves, not able to see each other or anybody else. There's a lot of negativity and harm can come through technology. And there's also some beauty that we can at least see each other. And I'm thankful for that.

[30:22]

Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfcc.org and click Giving. May we all fully enjoy the Dharma.

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