This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So it's so nice to be here with all of you tonight here in the Tassajara Zendo. Thank you, Linda, so much for inviting me to take the Dharma seat. I was realizing as I was preparing this talk that I haven't given a Dharma talk in person for almost two years. So it's so wonderful to not be on Zoom and to be body to body in Sangha. So... Thank you, all of you, for taking care of Tassajara, each in the way that you have.

[01:07]

I realized I wanted to do a land acknowledgement for the native peoples of these lands. But my understanding of a land acknowledgement is that it comes from a connection It comes from the heart. And though I have a connection with the Ramaytush Ohlone in San Francisco, where city center is located, I love this land, and actually I realized I don't have a connection with the Eslon tribe. So I see that as an opportunity. I love this land so much, and I feel that it's very... It's important. It's important to me. So I've been so embraced by Tassajar since arriving two days ago.

[02:18]

And I'm sure you experienced this as well. So as we gathered together to enter into that embrace through our senses, dropping into the lived, felt experience of right now. And a new friend at dinner told me that he was going to listen very hard. He was really going to listen to the Dharma talk. And I thought, And how are you going to listen? How do we listen? How do we listen to our heart? How do we listen with openness? How is it that we hear? So recently this phrase, this aspiration, this

[03:29]

vow that we chant to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings has kind of gotten me. The last few full moon ceremonies, when we come to this vow, it really kind of has gotten me. So... to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings. And I've been letting this turn me, been using it as a turning question, as a turning phrase, as I understand this practice of being turned, letting things turn us. And this to be lived, to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings is part of our bodhisattva vow.

[04:43]

So these vows, these 16 vows, the precepts are at the heart of of our ordination ceremonies. They are re-taken up monthly in the oldest ceremony, Buddhist ceremony, the full moon ceremony. We renew our vows. In the mornings, each morning at service, we take refuge and we vow each morning Wedding ceremonies, this is at the heart of how we marry and bring relationship into the world. So to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings is part of this bodhisattva vow. Bodhisattva, I had heard this definition many times and heard myself repeating it many times.

[05:56]

A bodhisattva is one who vows that even after becoming fully enlightened to stay in the world of suffering until all beings are free from suffering. And another definition of bodhisattva is an enlightening being. An enlightening being. So one who vows that to come into their fullness, to understand their depths, to understand their heights, their vastness, this vow of enlightenment, enlightening, enlightening oneself, enlightening beings. So I like this ing, this I-N-G, enlightening being. There is energy.

[06:56]

There is turning. There is meeting. There's possibility, engagement, as I hear it. And there's somehow also coming into the present moment, enlightening being. It's happening now. So for those who aren't so familiar with the 16 bodhisattva vows, would like to just read through them. And if you are familiar with them, just, you know, what is there for you? What is there for each of us, if we're familiar or not? What is alive? What is there now? So the first three are taking refuge. I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge in Sangha. Oh, sorry. I take refuge in Dharma. I take refuge in Sangha. And then the three pure precepts.

[07:56]

I vow to refrain from all evil. I vow to make every effort to live in enlightenment. I vow to live and be lived for the benefit of all beings. And then the ten grave precepts. I vow not to kill. I vow not to take what is not given. I vow not to misuse anything. Sexuality. I vow to refrain from false speech. I vow to refrain from intoxicants. I vow not to slander. I vow not to praise self at the expense of others. I vow not to be avaricious. I vow not to harbor ill will. I vow not to disparage the three treasures, Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. So when I first heard these, when I first heard these bodhisattva vows, I remember thinking that is articulating my desire.

[09:15]

That is articulating my hope. for my life. It's articulating how I live and how I want to live. So it's this part to be lived that's kind of grabbed me of late. I find that with the precepts, sometimes some come forward and are more alive and others I don't think about for a long time. But there's something Here in this turning, there's something here that I think is an invitation to be explored. So to be lived for the benefit of all beings, the bodhisattva does not have a roadmap.

[10:16]

There is no kind of master plan. So how do we know the way as we walk? How do we know what it is to live for the benefit of others? In a recent presentation, Barbara Wenger was meeting with the residents at City Center, and she was talking about the early history of City Center, of Zen Center. And she was telling us about this foundation that they created. And they were taking up all these projects. They were out in the neighborhood in the Western Edition in San Francisco. And they were involved with the politics in the city. And they created job opportunities for people in the neighborhood by selling Green Gulch vegetables at the corner store near a city center. And they were getting the kids in the neighborhood involved with like after school work and sports teams.

[11:24]

And they turned a park near city center. It was a lot. And they turned it into a park. And the list kind of went on and on of what they were doing. And in the middle of this, Barbara was like, we didn't know what we were doing. We just did it. So, you know, I feel the same way about Suzuki Roshi. I think Suzuki Roshi came to America and had no idea, really, had no idea that this was going to come of it. He knew that he wanted to teach Dharma to English-speaking American students. He just... knew that. And that was it. That was the first step. So, you know, what is this vow for us here, you know, right now, living in community?

[12:32]

And I realize that some of us are here for short periods of time. So we're going out You know, we might not be staying at Asahara through the summer or through the practice period, but for the time that we are here, you know, this is Sangha, this is community. And when we come into community, Tenku Ruff described it as, we actually jump into a cauldron and turn up the heat and our karma tends to ripen much more quickly. So every day we take refuge. Every day we vow. Every day we recommit to our bodhisattva vows. So living in community, when we are inviting, we are inviting our karma to ripen. And then we are living up side by side, so close to each other.

[13:37]

What is it then that that is supporting us in our vow, not only to live, but to be lived for the benefit of all beings. Recently, we participated in a workshop that was led by a teacher named Janae Johnson. And I know that some of us, some people down here at Tassajara participated as well. We were all on Zoom. And the four-week workshop was about healing our racialized trauma, the trauma that we all carry. And Janae kept saying, I heard her say this on more than one occasion, she would say, stay in the room, stay in the room, don't leave the room.

[14:40]

And she was like, white people, I need you to stay in the room. You may be feeling shame. You may be feeling guilt. She's like, don't leave the room. I need you. I need you to stay in this conversation. And she suggested that for the BIPOC students that perhaps there might be a sense of victimization that could arise that would want them to... leave the room, leave the conversation. She was like, I need you to stay. I need you to stay and take care of yourselves. I need you to be a part of this. So what is it in our practice that helps us stay in the room? Dr. Larry Ward, when he was asked what a bodhisattva is, he said that Very simply and straightforward, he is a student of Thich Nhat Hanh.

[15:41]

He's a teacher in Thich Nhat Hanh's lineage. And Dr. Ward said, a bodhisattva is a mature adult. That was it. A mature adult, you know. So when we come into community and we are calling in We are asking our karma to present itself to us. This is my understanding. What happens when it does present itself? Is that a maturing moment? Is it a moment when we're brought to our edges and we're actually able to turn something, to study something? Our zazen practice is the ground on which we can then practice patience.

[16:46]

We can perhaps be a little bit curious. We can allow ourselves to be turned, to open to possibility. ancestor, Ehe Dogen, in the 1240s, wrote a fascicle called Bodhisattva Shishoho. And the English translation is the Bodhisattva's Four Methods of Guidance, or the Four Ways Bodhisattvas Embrace Living Beings. So in Mahayana Buddhism, the belief is that we are all bodhisattvas. Yes, perhaps we've formally taken the precepts, perhaps we have a formal practice, but really what we all truly want most is to be happy, is to awaken, and is for others to be happy

[18:03]

in their fullness. So Dogen's guide to embracing all beings is a guide for us. The four methods that Dogen talks about are giving, this is how we embrace all beings, by giving through kind speech through beneficial action, and through what Dogen calls identity action, or acting from a shared goal, acknowledging that we're all in the same boat, or as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. expressed when he was talking about identity action, knowing that we're caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a single garment of destiny.

[19:09]

So whatever affects one of us directly or indirectly affects all. So Dovin says it is through giving, it is through kind speech, it is through beneficial action or what we know as much as we know is beneficial. as much as our heart tells us that it is beneficial, and acting through this awareness that we are absolutely not separate. This is how we embrace all beings. So if you're not familiar with Dogen, I love Dogen's writings. They're very poetic. They're very... My experience is I feel like Dogen is speaking directly to me and I'm understanding the most beautiful, profound insight and then I'm absolutely lost in the next sentence and I'm flipped around and I have no idea what's up and what's down.

[20:27]

So a little Dogen at a time is good for me. And I did want to read this part about giving to you. So, this is the four methods of guidance for bodhisattvas, for awakening beings, or the four ways that bodhisattvas embrace living beings. So... invite you just to let Dogen's words come and see what happens. Giving means non-greed. Non-greed means not to covet. Not to covet means not to curry favor. Even if you govern the four continents, you should always convey the authentic path with non-greed. It is like giving away unneeded belongings to someone

[21:29]

you don't know, offering flowers blooming on a distant mountain to the Tathagata, or again offering treasures you had in your former life to sentient beings. Whether it is of teaching or of material, each gift has its value and is worth giving. Even if the gift is not your own, there is no reason to abstain from giving. The question is not whether the gift is valuable, but whether there is genuine merit. When you leave the way to the way, you attain the way. At the time of attaining the way, the way is always left to the way. When treasure is left just as treasure, treasure becomes giving. You give yourself to yourself. and others to others.

[22:30]

The power of the causal relations of giving reaches to divas, human beings, and even enlightened sages. When giving becomes actual, such casual relations are immediately formed. The Buddha said, when a person who practices giving goes to an assembly, people take notice Know that the mind of such a person communicates subtly with others. This being so, give even a phrase or verse of the truth. It will be a wholesome seed for this and other lifetimes. Give your valuables even a penny or a blade of grass. It will be a wholesome root for this and other lifetimes. The truth can turn into valuables and valuables can turn into the truth this is all because the giver is willing so this final line this final phrase everything that Dogen has just said about giving whether we understand it or not this is all because the giver is willing

[23:52]

So to live and to be lived for the benefit of all beings, I hear that it completely depends on if we are willing. So we have to be willing is what I'm hearing. And what I love about our practice is that Every moment, every moment is when practice occurs. So in every moment, we are able to ask ourselves, am I willing? Am I willing now? What's available here? So, what did I want to say? Going back to this practicing, practicing in community, what it is for us to practice together, what it is for us to mature each other.

[25:08]

My experience living in community is that oftentimes, and this happens with family and with friends, how quickly I form a story about a person. This person is this way, this person is that way. And how doing that really closes my heart. And living close in, whether it's in a work relationship, whether it's in, you know, your crew here at Tassara, whether it's with family, just living close in. There is a way that we... can close our hearts, and by creating these stories of each other, it is a way that we close our heart to each other. We close our heart to the mystery, to the wholeness, to the possibility.

[26:10]

So I think there is something here, and are we willing, as Dogen says, to give ourselves to ourselves and to give others to others. I think that's the most generous thing we can ever do. And then there's kind speech, kind speech to ourself, kind speech to others. But giving yourself to yourself and giving others to others, I think that there's something in here that is asking us to stay with the edges stay with the edges of our maturation. So enlightening beings, you know, how can I keep my heart open? What is the distance at which I need to step back, not to close myself off to someone, but actually to open to someone, to let in, to give possibility to

[27:25]

something different happening here, something different happening in this relationship. I just was thinking of this. What just came to me was Suzuki Roshi being asked the question, by a student, what is Zen? And he said, when you are you, Zen is Zen. And I think that that's connected to Dogen's teaching. When you are you, when you allow yourself to be you, when you are completely comfortable, even with all the discomforts of being you. So I think that's probably more than enough for this evening.

[28:31]

And do we do question and answers? Is there time? We don't. Oh, oh. Do we have time? I don't want to go too late because I think everyone's, yeah. We have time? Maybe time for a question? So I'm wondering what is alive? That was a lot of words. Maybe just to drop into our bodies for a moment. Yeah. I remember talking about dinner and... I didn't want to give you away. We were talking about how when we do things that are immoral and violate precepts, they make it harder in Zazen because you're judging yourself and you're like... And those thoughts just come in. What's a good way to step out of that spiral when that happens?

[29:31]

When you know you did something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Well, first of all, I would say check it out with a friend. Really talk it through with a friend. With someone you can trust. Or with a practice leader. Check it out with a practice leader. And I find that we can be really hard on ourselves. I was really beating myself up about an announcement that I made, and I felt that I had really just insulted this revered teacher, and it was very public. And I said, I was telling someone this, and they said, all you need to say is, I am sorry, I misspoke. And it was just like, it was true. So when I was trying to figure it out on my own, it was really, it was getting way out of proportion.

[30:38]

And then just that then opened a conversation. And as you're saying, as you're bringing your question forward, There's also the precepts. The way I've heard what I've learned or what I've heard is that we are already the precepts. And when we rub up against a precept, like the precept is our Buddha nature. This is who we are. And then we vow to, yes, this is the way I'm living. And when we rub up against a precept, that's a growing place. That's a place of maturation. So it's not that I've done something wrong and I need to be punished. It's like, oh, something is here to be explored. So it's for the benefit of all beings.

[32:13]

How do you move that beyond words? How do you move it beyond our life or life of people immediate to us? How can we encourage people to view the Sangha more than just a Sun Center? How can we encourage people to view the Sangha as it is, as the world? I just want to know what you would do to encourage us. Well, I think it's just very important for those who are called out for those who are called into the world to bring practice into the world. I think it's very important to bring practice into the world. I think it's very important to develop deep practice for those who are called to monastic practice. I also feel like it's very important to bring practice out into the world. Maybe one more short question?

[33:21]

Yeah, I was going to actually say something very similar. You put it so eloquently. Thank you for your thoughtful question. Is there something more to it that... I guess just getting caught up on giving yourself to yourself, to others, to others. In some ways I view that as within a botnastic practice is focusing on yourself on your own individualistic practice and not carrying it out into the community. And you bringing up what y'all did at City Center and bringing it into the community is what I'd love to see. And just wondering some of your thoughts and not focusing too much on yourself, but being able to also carry that through the community and make effective change. Yeah. So the way I'm hearing give yourself to yourself is to accept your fullness and your wholeness and your... the parts that aren't so easy to accept, to actually to meet yourself there, you know?

[34:37]

And to give others to others, you know, so often I see I want people to act differently than they're acting, you know? And it's like, why, you know? Why can't I let this person be who they are and meet them there? Rather than wanting them to be different, what is it? That's a practice edge, right? That's a dynamic place to stand in my being, to stand in my truth, and to meet you there. I think it's very important for us to... for those who are called, you know, to go out and to bring practice into the world and to widen our circles. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thanks. Shall we? Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[35:43]

Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[35:58]

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