This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. I was struck just now, coming in, thinking this is the so-called third day of Sasheen, how almost inevitably there's a process that we get caught up in, in Sasheen. it seems the product of our deep diligence and sometimes despite what's going on for us it's always struck me as interesting you know I was planning on talking about

[01:30]

the next paragraph in Vandava, and it opens up with some, and I'll read you a smattering of the translations of the first one. And sitting upright, practicing Zen is the authentic gate to free yourself in this unconditioned realm. For the supporting yourself freely in the Samadhi, practice Zen in upright posture. For enjoyment, this samadhi the practice of zazen in upright sitting has been established as the authentic way it reminded me of um there is a pali sutta you know on the panasati and it is as many of the pali suttas are i think under that great indian influence it's systematized it's numerical it's well analyzed and in the third tetra the third quarter of the four quarters the back step is to gladden the heart you know I was thinking of this enjoyment and I was thinking

[03:03]

of our way. It's almost purposely stupid. I think of Suzuki Roshi saying the most important word is maybe so. I'm totally charmed by that. The most important word is two words. Just case you thought we had this all pinned down and thoroughly analyzed. And yet it has a profound dimension to it. If you look at the components of Shashi, you know, the mandala we create, the many activities we weave into it.

[04:12]

And if you think of each of them as an influence, a catalyst for awareness, its own request for skillful involvement, it's so multifaceted. Leap in. Seems to me we leap in, not quite knowing exactly what any one of them creates. And then collectively, what do they create? And then we walk into the third life machine. something's happening something's quickening something's changing this human condition we're so determinedly who we are it's a matter of life and death it's a big deal and yet a mere matter of ours you know two and a half days and already

[05:39]

we're in flux, we're changing. It's marvelous to attend as carefully as you can, not so much to draw some fantastic conclusions, but just to notice the patterns of thought. What was prevalent two and a half days ago, and not just what was prevalent, the imported head, the importance, the gravitas, the associated feelings, images. Not to say they've all totally gone, but if you look carefully, you can see often something shifting around. They're loosening up. Something's becoming undone.

[06:41]

We're in a process. And part of the challenge for us is to be processed. Within the workings of spirituality, the discipline becomes devotion. something brings us here some rigor some discipline some commitment bow and then a giving over and sometimes the giving over is quite simple and precise not necessarily easy but simple and precise give over to the experience of this moment.

[07:43]

Each of these translations talks about upright sitting. And certainly in the heritage of Zen, upright sitting has a whole elite dimension involving body and breath. But there's another dimension, and I don't mean to diminish that at all personally. I think it's powerfully important. Third dimension is upright, not leaning into, not leaning back. Directed attention, not leaning into it to create the right result.

[09:05]

We make that directed effort with a particular goal that has to be attained, but it's about initiating engagement. As I quoted that other piece the other day, without the practice, the manifestation of the moment doesn't, isn't engaged. And when it's not engaged, the experience the moment can't be realized in the experiencing experience some things realized directed attention and it receptive attention opening engaging what arises conclusion, without grasping.

[10:24]

It's just, to use a Mahayana image, it's just a flowering in emptiness. Just what comes in being. And the mind we bring to sashimi, most of us, maybe all of us, The flowerings of the mind are almost like anything but. You know, they're more like five-ton trucks. Big, hard motorbikes that make a loud noise. They have a lot to say for themselves. They have a lot to say about other, about reality. And they speak with authority. And they're evocative. And of course, being the dear friends that they are, they will continue most likely to pop up as we continue in Sushi.

[11:44]

Maybe to our dismay, or maybe we'll be hooked before we even have time for dismay. And they create a reality so compelling. To remind ourselves Shashin, the mind of Shashin, is to invite ourselves into an intensely subjective experience. We don't have to worry about other. Attend to the subjective, the personal component of it. When the fear story arises, notice, acknowledge, contact, experience. The emotional charge of that fear story

[12:51]

It's gravitas. And is this the first time you've had that emotion? That emotion has a whole history. It's a tried and true involvement in who you are and how you navigate existence. Pausing now and piling more ideas on top of it. Maybe. Maybe that'll help. But pausing now and experiencing as fully as possible the emotion. Experiencing it in a way that lets us follow that thread through the being that we've been and have become now.

[13:54]

this emotion has become a significant way in which we navigate being alive. And with this kind of receptive attention, even that so-called afflictive state, and it can be afflictive when we're in the grips of it, can be agitating, disturbing, anything other than gladdening or disporting freely or ease. And each of us has our own variety, our own favorites. And as we're starting to navigate this territory, form is emptiness.

[15:09]

It's mirror arising. Yes, it has approximate cause. There's something triggering it, internal, external. Something blossoms and comes into being. but has no substantial self. It has no independent external reality. It's codependent. And this is part of lessening its grip. Form is emptiness. What arises is just a subjective, temporary creation. And then as we settle... Form is form.

[16:10]

But how interesting that it arises. How interesting it has the character, the emotion, the disposition, the definition of other. And then the wondrous art of engaging that. When the mind is more active, we engage it more actively. When the mind is quieter, we engage it more in the realm of sensation. We involve the somatic. We breathe it. And this can be helpful in a number of ways.

[17:25]

In one way, it helps us to have some insights about where we tend to get caught. And it can also help us to loosen up some knots. When we get caught like that, there's a tendency to get stuck. But there's another way, and this is a way that's maybe more subtle, but important. We're learning how to relate to anything and everything that arises in the human condition. You know, often when we're practicing awareness diligently, we think, well, I have to create some kind of pristine The mind has to be tranquil, at ease, fluid, non-grasping.

[18:39]

As we settle, as we open, As our usual psychological defenses are set down, water rises can go all over the place. And for most of us, it will. Interestingly, as we open in that way, we will settle into momentary awareness readily and will be susceptible to these arisings of difficult emotions too. And cultivating a receptive awareness that's kind of reckless.

[19:50]

Bring it on. Whatever it is, bring it on. Oh, look. A moment of rage. And when we open to it, it can last for seconds. Our hours, if we get caught in some agitated resistance, between knowing we're right and knowing how terrible we are just not knowing with that receptive awareness that doesn't draw conclusions so it's a strange kind of uprightness it's upright because it doesn't get stuck in leaning into and it doesn't get stuck in holding back and as we engage in this way returning to uprightness becomes more available

[21:18]

And as we have this open awareness, it stimulates a sort of genuine curiosity for the human condition. Not only reckless, but shameless. A moment of competition, resentment. whatever self-consumed desire allowing all of those any of those to be met and this is almost a paradox form is form it feels like well isn't that the recipe for chaos no but actually um in the way that it's stimulating non-attachment it's a recipe for equanimity it's a recipe for this uprightness

[22:49]

And as I say, such is the nature of mind when it's allowed to be fluid like this. It will not simply light on its difficulties. I mean, usually the difficulties, the afflictions are the most important stories. So, of course, Those are the ones we read and reread. But as the mind starts to become more fluid, the other more boring stories, like the shadows on the wall, like the smell of the earth when it's baking in the afternoon sun. Like the fresh tingling on the skin after you've had a shower.

[24:01]

Like the ease of the cool air of the evening after those hot and sticky periods in the late afternoon. They start to appear too. And they start to be attended to. Our human nature is that which hurts is more interesting than that which is pleasant. But as we learn this accommodation for the unpleasant, the pleasant arises. the heart. Oh, this is not so bad after all.

[25:09]

Maybe it's all not terrible, just most of something is aligned some things engaged about this freedom about this ease about this disporting ourselves with ease subjectively the world starts to come forth the pleasant to appear and support awareness. The mind, which we've been diligently chasing after, trying to catch and hold still for a minute, starts to become more obliging, less like a grand squirrel and more just like a lizard in the sun.

[26:35]

And this mind starts to refine how we're relating to Zazen. It starts to find itself in what you might call a virtuous cycle. in contrast to a vicious cycle you get agitated about your sitting you struggle more with your sitting you get more agitated about your sitting you start wondering why is the bell ever going to ring the virtuous cycle willingness.

[27:55]

Somewhat reckless and shameless. And somewhat available, appreciative. Watching these Myriad experiences dancing up in the being, out of being. Some being grasped, some just hanging in the air like the flower of emptiness. Maybe so. And in the midst of that, we breathe. Because that's what we do.

[29:05]

That's what it is to be alive. We breathe in. We live. Not some great determined effort to impose our will. on the disaster called being alive, but just some simple expression. And we can start to attend more closely to the inhale, to the allow. to the receiving, letting something open down.

[30:07]

The image in Zen is the bottom drops out of the bucket. It's talking about a willingness to be alive. the inhale becomes like a coin. A simple, generous act. And an exacting challenge to be completely what is in the moment. And as we attend to it, it reverberates.

[31:11]

It has a mental component of directed attention. It has a physical component of letting the body open and soften. and breathe out. Whatever has arisen in receptive awareness, non-grasping, let it go. And as we engage this more intimately, we discover that engaging it in the body has so much more information than thinking about it.

[32:33]

That we start to learn something visceral about being. And as we start to engage this visceral being, we discover how to create a foundation for mind. So Dogen Senju says, and this this is the uprightness of it the ease of it supports Zazen and is supported by Zazen and this is

[33:44]

our register. This is our north star. This is our touch point. And to explore, connect, investigate. Just to keep exploring this way. And as we explore in this way, the more subtle attributes of the process start to become added. Not only awareness, but awareness of awareness. As you find yourself

[34:45]

in those moments of awareness, can you let them register? Can you abide? It's a delicate art. You're not making something happen. You're not holding on to something. You're just hanging out in what's already happened. Because you have nowhere else to go. You have nothing else to do. Nothing needs to happen. Nothing needs to stop happening. Abiding. And as the mind starts to touch awareness of awareness, it has an experience of that the whole process of making up reality

[36:15]

is not the whole story. Whatever that drive, whatever that urgency, whatever that agenda is, in those glimpses, in those moments of letting it happen, of abiding, It doesn't have to be some fantastic momentary experience. It can be anything. It's the process. And in letting that process abide, something can start to be seen about the urgency of creating reality. creating self, creating other, responding to the self and the other that are created.

[37:28]

And this abiding. there's two kinds of gladdening that arise in it. One is joyful and one is not. The joyful one is, well, isn't it nice to get a break from having to do, having to make it all happen? or stop it from happening or change it or whatever. When the smell of the warm afternoon, it's just the smell of the warm afternoon. But in that moment, it's the whole story.

[38:44]

It's what is. Hangs in the moment as itself. It comes forth and creates what is. It has a space. has a non-assertion of what should or should not happen. It has an ease. And then the other attribute that can sometimes come up

[39:54]

compassionate sorrow for the human condition. Usually referred to as me. How we're so busy. Making it happen. responding to what we've made, figuring out what needs to be different before happiness and awakeness can happen. So let in these moments.

[41:06]

We allow them. We don't manufacture them. They're unconstructed. They're unconstructed in the stillness that arises through abiding. I often think it's a kind of interesting piece of theatre when the kitchen get up and walk out.

[42:13]

Not quite sure how it fits into the plot, but it's very definite. So the flavor of the Zen School. We savor these phrases. Unconstructedness. In abiding, in stillness. Upright, easeful deportment. I say to them like a dog savors a bone. You see a dog chewing on a bone, you think, well, I should break it open so the dog can get at the marrow. But actually, I'm not so sure that matters that much to the dog.

[43:24]

Just turning it, tasting it, turning it, tasting it. Just savor your own human process. Reckless and shameless as you get stuck. Watching how that thoroughly self-absorbed person can disappear. in a moment of presence. Our consciousness can sometimes be murky and sometimes crystal clear.

[44:26]

ways kind of stupid not quite sure what's supposed to happen but the great gift is that it helps us to be available for whatever happens How will you sit the rest of the day? Will you be filled with zeal? Or will you be despondent and distracted? Will your mind clarify and be easily concentrated and attentive? Or will you be plagued with distractions? Nobody knows, not even you.

[45:50]

And how do you respond when all that comes up? So the whole bit with a sense of ease. Okay. It'll come the way it comes. And that would be what's practiced with. This kind of deportment. And we quicken. As some objective Reality arises.

[46:55]

We remind ourselves. Pashin lasts forever. This body, this consciousness is going to live for a period of time. And during that period of time, all this is going to go on. grows up with this driving force to be alive. How interesting to wake up and see what's going on. And bring ourselves back to that. In the yogic details of intimate awareness and in the broad disposition.

[48:07]

Watching what arises when you go on a break. What's it about the things you do when you take a break from this afternoon meal or whatever? This easeful deportment that sustains uprightness. It gladdens the heart. It inclines the mind and consciousness towards awakening. As something unfolds, the realization of the Dharma becomes the everyday affair of being alive.

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For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

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