This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning again, and welcome to Green Dragon Temple. Green Gulch is not always an easy place to get to, but you've made it. And I'm happy that you're here. And I'm happy that I'm here. And good morning to the online community that I can't see but wish I could. I guess some of you can see each other or at least each other's names. Welcome to you. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad to have so many good Dharma companions. My name is Steph and I'm a resident

[01:01]

here at Green Gulch. I'm a former monk, and I'm a mom of two children. But most importantly, I'm a person who's deeply committed to practice together with and for all beings. My intention today to awaken fully together right now. Is there something else to be doing? I'm holding this stick and I was thinking, what this is really for

[02:04]

is if I get into trouble up here, I can reach up and hook the sky. So we'll see. A few themes for today. Dragons, karma, and unsurpassed, complete, perfect, everydayness. So, where should we start? Well, we start where we are. That is an essential aspect of Zen. Right here, surrounded by dragons. So this is Green Dragon Temple. And this is, I want to remind us, the year of the dragon. Green Dragon Temple.

[03:05]

Year of... The dragon. That's double dragon. The forecast is good fortune. In Chinese culture, dragons are not fire-breathing beasts. They don't need to be slayed. Slain? Slayed? They're not aggressive destroyers. They represent power. Strength. Wisdom. Action. The wholesome kind. They are water deities. Water deities that foster harmony. So, Year of the Dragon, Green Dragon Temple, and also an election year.

[04:08]

So I am calling on the young in all of us, the straightforward, the active, the powerful, the decisive, the bright, the light, the joyful. Please let us gather these dragon energies and use them. to foster harmony. Coincidentally, one of my Dharma positions at Green Village is to take care of the drinking water system. And so I think about water a lot, the power and fragility of water. And so water deities are right up my alley because I I'm happy to receive all the help I can get.

[05:11]

So now that we've invoked our dragon qualities, let us wander into the meandering stream of karma. Karma is the sum of our actions that cause future manifestations. Karma is the sum of our actions that cause future manifestations. Imagine a flowing stream of your actions of body, speech, and mind. Does this feel liberating or worrisome? Well, of course, that depends. And specifically, it depends on your intention. Did you notice that I started, excuse me, did you notice that I started the talk by stating my intention?

[06:19]

Anybody remember my intention? Awakening together right now. I mean, what are we waiting for? So, of course, what actually happens during this talk is not in my control, but we're doing this thing together, so we are creating something. And still, I recommend being aware of and stating your intention. Why? Because in Buddhist practice, intention is identified as the determiner of karmic consequence. It's not that you always need to express your intention out loud, but it is appropriate to look, to inquire, to be aware of, and to study your intention, if you wish, to care for, awaken to, realize, and so on.

[07:34]

Manjushri, the big fella on the cushion sitting in front of me in the middle of the room, is a helpful companion. in the stream of body, speech, and mind. Manjushri represents wisdom. Lately I've been inviting Manjushri to hang out with me. Why not? Clarity, discernment, I could use this kind of company. This summer my siblings and I had to find a way to get our dad out of his house and into memory care. I asked Mamjushri to come and help us. And she did. What is my intention regarding my body? Welcome what is arising.

[08:38]

What is my intention regarding my speech? I'd like to do a good job for you. I can even get nervous about that. I so want to do a good job for you. What I want is to encourage your practice. And encourage your confidence in practice. So regarding speech, I wrote, by the way, I want to contain most of my complaints while I work to clarify them. So I'm working with my complaints internally to clarify them so I can finally express them in a straightforward way. What is my intention regarding my mind? I wish to realize peace.

[09:45]

together with all beings. Manifesting peace by sitting peacefully. And no, not later, right now. Nothing is saved for later. If my intention is clarified, I will have a better chance of performing it with my body, speech, and mind. So it's really my main job. Conversely, controlling outcomes is not my job. While studying my intention, I am also aware that I am part of what's going on, whether I like what's going on or not. Again, my main job to observe and care for my intention.

[10:48]

My intention is not really mine. It's kind of like my kids are mine, but they're not really mine. My job is to take care of those two beings and those relationships. But they're not really mine. Does this mean that everything will work out according to my plan? No. Having my way is not a Buddhist teaching, and you having your way is also not a Buddhist teaching. Caring for your intention and meeting the sum of your action of body, speech, and mind with straightforwardness, that is practice realization. I'm liking that word a lot, straightforwardness.

[11:55]

So there's this election coming up, right? Let's look closely at our intentions. because it's time for us to choose an American president for the next four years. And if you are interested in the three pure precepts in Buddhism, not doing harm, doing good, and doing good for the sake of everybody, then it is appropriate to enact your intention by voting. or preferably before Tuesday, November 5th of this year. For a person whose actions, for a person whose actions of body, speech, and mind seem to be in accord with not doing harm, doing good for the sake of everyone.

[13:09]

In our democratic situation, it is also important to vote in opposition to a person who is frolicking in greed, hate, and delusion and propagating it in others. And just not voting can have the effect of giving support to a candidate that you didn't actually want to support. I guess you can tell I'm looking forward to voting. For someone who seems capable of fostering harmony. Express yourself so wholeheartedly that you do not grasp expectations. and are able to thrive in practice before, during, and after a critical election.

[14:15]

If and when I do not get what I want in my life, I vow never to stop practicing. That's my intention. Incidentally, stopping practice is a delusion, but you can do a lot of harm with your delusions. You can think, or worse, you can say out loud, I give up. I quit. Where did practice get me anyway? And that can be really confusing to others who are also struggling with discouragement. When we create and grasp expectations, we suffer. Dharma friends can support one another to express ourselves so fully that we don't have to get exactly what we want to thrive and grow. But when we're practicing wholeheartedly, we do thrive and grow no matter what.

[15:19]

And that leads us to unsurpassed, complete, perfect everydayness. Dainan Katagiri, one of my Dharma grandfathers, liked to say, Buddha is your everyday life. I never met Dainan Katagiri, but I had the joy of knowing Tomoe Katagiri, to whom he was married, over several years in my early Zen practice. I regard her as a great Zen teacher, but... I would be in big trouble if she heard me say that. Timoisan was my first sewing teacher. She taught nyoho-e sewing to Zen students, the sewing of Buddha's robe, this garment that I'm wrapped in, and the little rakasu that you'll see other people wearing. So people sew Buddha's robe in preparation for receiving the robe along with Buddhist precepts.

[16:32]

And now I am the sewing teacher at Green Gulch. It's another of my Dharma positions. And I assist students with sewing Buddha's robe. When I finished sewing my first rakasu in 2001, I wasn't ready to give up spending time with Tomoe-san, so exuberant for life she was. So I immediately began sewing another rakasu. Someone in the Sangha gifted me with fabric to use. And I was thrilled because I had heard, it was even rumored that the Buddha had said, that the best fabric to use for sewing Buddha's robe was fabric that was given as a gift or fabric that was discarded. It turns out that the fabric that I was given had a lot of elasticity to it, and it was very challenging for me to sew straight lines. And Timoisan observed my challenge and offered to let me off the hook.

[17:33]

She offered to let me start over with a sturdier fabric. But no, I was clear. Buddha's robe had been started with this given fabric. It must be completed. Timoyasan smiled, and I continued sewing. Later, a sewing assistant was cutting white panels for the calligraphy on the back and was multitasking. He was cutting fabric while holding a cordless phone between his ear and his shoulder. Silly Zen student. He made a mistake and miscut the panel. He expressed an expletive and threw the panel in the trash. Aha! I took it out of the trash and said delightedly, discarded fabric. This is perfect for my imperfect rakasu. But when it was time for me to add the white panel to the back,

[18:35]

I found that my right angles were not right angles at all, and there was no way I could get the white panel to fit. And then I sincerely felt like I'd failed, and my confidence evaporated. Can you relate to that experience? It just evaporated. I put the white panel back into the trash. I enacted giving up. At that moment, Tamoisan swept across the room and plucked the white panel from the trash. She said fiercely, you wanted to give it life, we'll give it life. I wondered how this was going to happen because I knew that the panel would not fit. It was definitely too small. Then I watched her take another strip of fabric out of the trash and wordlessly thread a needle.

[19:40]

She began sewing the two pieces together with a neat hidden seam. I could not believe what I was seeing. She had a reputation for being very precise with sewing and strict. And here she was creating a seam right down the full edge of the panel, a blatant imperfection on Buddha's robe. How on earth was this going to work as a canvas for the calligraphy? The teacher writes on the back some beautiful calligraphy and this panel had a seam and I couldn't understand how this could work. While I was puzzling about what was happening, she finished sewing and inserted the panel into place, and repinned the rakasu for the next step. Then she handed it to me, smiling silently. What was Timoisan's gift?

[20:51]

felt that she respected my enthusiasm and love for practice. Then in a moment when my confidence collapsed and I dramatized giving up, she did something that shocked everybody. The sewing teacher met my failure by creating a giant imperfection right across the back of Buddha's robe. She demonstrated there's no failure that warrants giving up practice. Not only did that make a lasting impression on me, but I never stopped sewing Buddha's robe. Some of you are doing this together with me now. And now that I am a sewing teacher, I have many opportunities to meet Zen students and their failure.

[22:07]

And perhaps it's my favorite thing about teaching. So I can pass along a thread of Tomoy-san's wondrous understanding. When the project was finally complete, I felt just a little embarrassed that it was a very wobbly rectangle. It was... I wasn't too embarrassed, just a little embarrassed. So I went to Moisan and I was wearing it and I wanted to thank her for helping me. And I said, I'm sorry that it's so crooked. And she said with a beaming smile, it will straighten out as you wear it. And the Rakasu was later calligraphed with one word, vow.

[23:14]

I wonder if now I may ask you about your practice. May I ask you about your practice? Is there any obstacle to your practice? I have a few questions. Maybe we can dialogue about this soon in the question and answer period or the dialogue period. So I'll just start with the questions. Is there any obstacle to your practice? Anything holding you back from sitting upright, opening your shoulders, feeling the breath moving in your body? Is there anything preventing you from fully appreciating life?

[24:22]

Anything stopping you from swimming through the sky? So it feels a little bit vain, but I just want to point out this special moment in time, our moment in time. thing that arose for me is to say something about what I often hear people bringing up. I often hear as perhaps some sort of obstacle to practice.

[25:36]

And I even feel that for myself. I even feel this obstacle to practice when I am looking at news, for instance. It's the feeling of heartbreak or intense sorrow. When I looked up the word heartbreak, it was defined as like the feeling of strong loss, especially the loss of a family member. But I felt like, wow, I think we're just in a time where it's not that it's our family member, but of course it is. more broadly, our family member because we are all connected. So we're feeling this heartbreak. People are using the word heartbreak a lot. But I want to say that although my mind sometimes might think this is too much, I am thinking of Mother Teresa who speaks of suffering as

[26:47]

Christ disguised in its terrible forms. And I feel inspired by the way she offered her life to care for the suffering of others. And that is the light. So I am offering an antidote to heartbreak, which is to notice that your broken heart Your sorrow on behalf of the suffering of others is itself the light. So it's just the time to appreciate yourself and care for the light. I wonder if that came through.

[27:50]

I made an effort. I want to try again. Even though some people are nodding at me kindly, I want to try again and say, you are the light. In your brokenheartedness, you are still the light. You are the wisdom. when you have tears rolling down your face because of cruelty. That's wisdom. So it's just misunderstood to recoil from heartbreak. It's just a misunderstanding. Heartbreak just belongs in your warm lap, in the warm lap of wisdom. That still can ring.

[29:10]

Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. That's how the light gets in. That's how the light gets in. In response to cruelty, the feeling of heartbreak is... the appropriate response. Gil was a speaker last week, and he reminded us, when you are sad, be a sad Buddha.

[30:17]

He has a really gentle voice. I could tone it down a little bit. When you're sad, be a sad Buddha. beautifully soft and simple when he says it. Sadness belongs in sad Buddha's lap. When I meet a sad Buddha, I might whisper, I am with you. I am with you. I am with you. The most noble thing to be is what you are. Wanting what is arising to be different is the Buddhist definition of suffering. But meeting what is arising with straightforwardness and having the clarity

[31:28]

that you want all beings to be free from suffering, that is the definition of the bodhisattva vow. And it turns out that being a bodhisattva is a very rewarding occupation. And now, to signal the end of this meandering stream, let us return for a moment to dragons, because I think we could benefit from what they represent. By dragons, I mean harmonious water deities, imbued with light, wisdom, strength, buoyancy and joy swimming through the sky joyfully let's plunge into the awakening that is at hand in the only way possible together

[32:53]

I brought the rakasu that I was speaking of, the wobbly, not-so-rectangular rakasu on the back with the word calligraphed vow in this seam sewn by the strict sewing teacher in Minnesota to teach me once and for all that no failure is worth giving up on practice. Well and I could give a transitional reading or I could turn it over to you for your dialogue, for your questions and expressions.

[34:23]

What do you think? Anybody eager to get to questions and expressions or would a transition be useful? Transition. So my children still allow me to read to them. So happy about that. So this is a children's story. It's called Where the Mountain Meets the Moon. There's a dragon in the story and a young girl on a quest whose name is Minley. As Minley stared, the old man looked at her. The silver hair of his beard seems to flow like a glowing waterfall and disappear into the folds of his robes. and his dark eyes matched the blackness of the night sky. Ah, said the old man, it's you. Minley nodded and bowed deeply. She would have kneeled on the ground, but she was afraid of disrupting the clay figures standing on the ground at her feet.

[35:28]

Well, come here then, the old man said impatiently, and he tapped his stick on the ground again. And with a sound like a flapping of a bird's wing, the clay figures moved. clearing a path for Minley. I know you have questions for me, the old man said. Every 99 years, someone comes here with their questions, but I will answer only one, so choose your question carefully. One question? Minley almost stopped, walking in shock. If she was only allowed to ask one question, she could not ask Dragon's question for him, unless... She did not ask her own. Minley felt like a fish gasping for air. What was she going to do? The memories of the hard work in the rice fields, her father's care-worn hands, the plain rice in the dinner bowls, and Ma's sighs washed upon her like the splashes of water from the lake.

[36:33]

She had to change her fortune. She must ask how to do that. But when Minli thought about Dragon, waiting for her patiently, it was as if she had been struck. And like seeds falling from Wu Kang's tree, images of Dragon rained upon her, their laughter as they passed the monkeys, his awkward struggles walking in the woods, his echoing roar as he flung the green tiger into the air, the kind hand he put on her shoulder when she cried, and the hopeful look in his eyes as she left. Dragon is my friend, Minli said to herself. What should I do? Minli's thoughts bubbled faster and faster like boiling rice. Every step she took seemed to throb, and Minli wasn't sure if the pounding was her heart or Wukong's axe in the distance. As she passed the clay statues, she thought she could see figures of the goldfish man, the buffalo boy, the king, and Da'afu, silently watching her.

[37:38]

Min Lee's feet seemed to ignore her pleas for slowness, like the kite being pulled in. She was being drawn toward the old man of the moon without delay. Before she could decide whose question to ask, Min Lee found herself facing him. The old man of the moon looked at her expectantly, his black eyes as unreadable as the night sky. Min Lee looked down into the open book on his lap. She recognized the open page, as the king's borrowed line. The smoothed out folds and the holes she had made in it when she had turned it into a kite were still there. Yet now the paper was invisibly fastened in the book with only a thin line like a scar showing that it had ever been removed. And the words had changed again. There was a single line of words running down the entire page. As she looked, Minley realized for the first time she could read the words, or really, the word.

[38:44]

For the line was only made of one word written over and over again, and that word was thankfulness. And suddenly, like the light when the clouds move away from the moon, Minley knew clearly what question to ask. I invite dragons, dragons and elephants. I invite your expressions and questions or verses. Goodbye and thank you. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[40:02]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[40:05]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.68