This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Patricia is going to get half of my talk. Good morning. So when we chant the repentance and refugees every morning, it says, all my ancient twisted karma from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion, born through one body, two speech, three mind.

[01:04]

It doesn't go through mind, speech, and body. And I don't think that's accidental. It goes through body, speech, and mind. The embodiment of our understanding is what ultimately counts. How we act is what ultimately counts. That's when Sylvia Borstein says it doesn't matter what state your mind is in, what matters is that you know it. It's pointing to that. It means if you know what state your mind is in, you have a chance to actually make a decision on how you're going to act. If you don't know, whatever is going on in your mind will come out some way or other.

[02:06]

In many sutras it says, in many fascicles it says between the dull and the sharp-witted is no difference. Who really truly believes that? Who of the more dull-witted one believes that? Who of the more sharp-witted one believes that? Truly, I mean, in action. Not when we sit here and think, yes, that's great, that's true, that's so true. How stupid when we see something. Doesn't even know the forms. Yes, Goyo? Between the sharp and the dull, with it, there's no difference. Yes. You know, we believe it in our heads.

[03:09]

Do we believe it in our action? It's a whole other story, often. At least that's true for me. And also when we just did the full moon ceremony, the Riyaku Fusats, and it says, I vow not to abuse the three treasures, and then it goes, to expound the Dharma with this... Body is foremost. And it's really interesting because body takes such a strange place in our everyday mind. We take it for granted until it hurts somewhere and then we get kind of irritated by it and we throw pills in to make it go away so we can continue to take it for granted. That's one way. And then there's another way where we kind of put it on a pedestal.

[04:11]

Perfect body, perfect skin, perfect, you know, kind of... And we go through great lengths with face lifts and tucks here and there, pay lots of money. It's like we... It's a very interesting way in how body is... related to and kind of, yeah, inhabited actually. How do we inhabit our body? So, it's very compelling sometimes to try to understand what is meant. And it's important. But we can also start at the other end. Thank you so much. What would I do without Ajisha?

[05:15]

It would be a very different event. Thank you. So that's why I keep coming back in this practice period to embodiment and body. And you may think... You know, you may think when you hear all the different people talk here, I heard from two people that they thought, you know, we would sit together and decide what we are going to talk about. And actually we don't. I only know who's going to talk. I have no idea what they're going to talk about. But we obviously always, or it becomes apparent that we always talk about what the other one... is thinking about. So Linda brought forward the Dogen quote about the circle of the ways continuous between practice and realization, no difference. And that quote is on my desk right there on the day she's giving that talk because I'm thinking somehow it keeps coming back as being part of maybe what I'm going to talk about.

[06:31]

Leslie yesterday brings up what Uchiyama says on his last day, and I, the last four days, bowing has become another event in my life. I mean, somehow my relationship to bowing has shifted and become very, very present. So we are really all in the soup together. you know, cooking. To expand the Dharma with this body is foremost. And it's in the little actions, in the little actions. And, you know, this is the last day of Sushin, and then we We all move into action, kind of different action.

[07:35]

Some people are going to talk way more. Some people don't want to talk. Are we paying attention? Are we asking permission rather than just dump on them our excitement or our frustration or whatever it is? How do we leave here? How do we move? transition into this other space where there is more interaction. Not so ritualized interaction. So, but we can practice it here. How do I say thank you for I have enough? Do I flip my hand like stop? Is expressing my understanding of reality, of the Dharma.

[08:39]

Do I, you know, I walk behind somebody and they're walking slower than I, do I kind of, you know, walk behind them with that energy, would you move a little faster please? That's expressing our understanding of the Dharma. Do I walk slow, so you have to slow down behind me? That's an expression of understanding of the Dharma. All our moods, our ideas get expressed if we don't pay attention. And they even get expressed when we pay attention, but then we can catch it. We can say, I'm sorry, I was irritated and you just happened to be there.

[09:42]

I'm sorry that, you know, you got the effect of it. It's not like we have to be perfect. It's not like... will we really inhabit, kind of catch up in how we actually do inhabit our bodies all the time? So I did bring Samanta Bhadra to the altar. In the traditional altars in Japan, there's always Manjushri and Samanta Bhattra on the altar, both of them. I don't know why in the traditional altar there's not Avalodhi Teshvara there too. It's kind of this a little bit leaning towards wisdom and practice and compassion kind of limps a little bit behind somehow. We have her in the back of the altar.

[10:46]

So... That's a whole other story we can think about at some point. But that's not really the point. I brought Samantabhadra because he's called shining practice. He's the manifestation of enlightened action. He's the protector and the patron of the Lotus Sutra. He plays a key role in the Avatamsaka Sutra, and there is a whole... chapter in there dedicated to him. I can't remember the name of that sutra. And I have a very long history with Samantha Bajra, or Samantha Bajra with me. I don't know actually where it starts. And some of you have heard this before, so please forgive me. But it just keeps coming back. Anna is laughing. You can close your ears for today, for a while.

[11:50]

When I came to Green Gulch in 88, there was a picture in the kitchen altar, which when I was on general labor, I would have to go to the kitchen or we would bow in there and there was this picture of an ornate being on an elephant. And I just liked the picture. I didn't even know at that point that it was Samantha Baljo. So I just liked that picture. Then I left after a year, and I came back later, and the picture was not on the kitchen office altar anymore. And during Soji, occasionally, I was sent to clean the offices down below the Cloud Hall. Yeah, the basement, you know, in those funky offices down there. And I was sent to... dust them and clean them, and then I would occasionally find that it was glued on a cardboard.

[12:58]

It was from a magazine. The picture cut out, glued on a cardboard. I would find it somewhere on a shelf between the books, and I would always kind of, I just felt compelled to make a little space and put it nicely so you could see it, and then... You know, three months later, I would find it somewhere else, and then it disappeared completely. I didn't see it for I don't know how long. And one day, I go to the fabulous Goodwill at Green Gulch, which, you know, all those rich people in Marin County bring occasionally really great things to Goodwill. And if you're lucky, and in the first year, I came for three months, so I didn't bring clothes for a whole year. So I wore clothes. stuff from Goodwill and I wore things. It's actually very playful. I would wear things I would never ever buy. So I was this different person each time I would find something and it was just, and I would bring it back to Goodwill and some I would, some I still have. One shirt I still have from 88 or 90.

[14:00]

Anyway, I'll tell you when I wear it, it's here. So one day that piece of cardboard was, in the meantime I knew his name was Samantha Badra, was in goodwill, so I took it home. And then in 86 I was invited to be Chousseau here. And I packed my things and I took my last things and in the meantime I had bought the frame and kind of framed this piece of cardboard with Samantha Badra. I suddenly said, oh, I'll take it with me. Put it right on top of everything in my little carry-on kind of bag that I didn't send ahead of myself to Green Gulch. And then it was living in the shoe-sew cabin on the wall that goes to the bathroom to the right. And in that cabin, there's a ledge, a wooden ledge below the windows, you know, and on the wall kind of.

[15:06]

So it was hanging there. And so I give my way-seeking mind talk, and then I think my second talk was, I told this story about Samantabhadra, that actually I didn't know much, but for me, we chant his name with the ten names of Buddha, and in the meal chant, and he's always, it's wisdom, you know, Manjushri Samantabhadra Avalokiteshvara. And at that time we said shining practice. Now we say different. What do we say? Great practice. Great activity. At that point we called it, we said shining practice is another expression. And to me it was always, it's that being that brings wisdom and compassion into action, into the world. So... I tell this story that I told now, slightly probably the same.

[16:10]

Anyway, and after the lecture, I go to the bathroom. And it's fall, and there used to be a little Japanese maple across from the Shouseau cabin, I think it was. Anyway, I come, it's one of those brilliant fall days, it's earlier. in the practice period, so the sun's still shining. And I come onto the bridge, and I'm stopped on the bridge because in front of my door is this little shining thing, which is totally white, and the sun's shining on it, and a twig with red maple leaf, brilliant red is in front of it. and I get close and then it's this little being on an elephant. And I feel like I can't just step over it.

[17:14]

So I pick it up and I put it. It fits right onto that ledge under the picture and the elephants are walking in opposite directions. So, and I feel like... I mean, it was just an apparition. I felt like I'm talking about Samantha Bartra and he shows up on my doorstep. And kind of now I have to live up to, I mean, it's like a request to live up to whatever. And so at work meeting I make an announcement and say Samantha Bartra appeared on my doorstep and He's having a visit with the one that's living in my cabin. And whenever somebody, I don't know who put it there, wants it back, just leave a note and I'll give it back to you.

[18:17]

So every day I offered incense. Every day I bowed. Every day there was no note. At the meeting before the end of, work meeting before the end of the practice period, I said, Samantha Butter is still... visiting in my cabin if he needs to go home. Now is the time. No, no. So he came home with me. And came back with me for the first time to Tassahara this time. And he's here for a while. And I have no idea where he came from. But it did, it keeps influencing me. It's the embodiment. The elephant is a working animal. In India, the elephant is used to work. So it's really action. It's being in the world. It's doing building and cooking and maintaining and gardening and all of that.

[19:24]

So how can we really embody our understanding and really understand that whatever we understand, unless we put it, we implement it, we put it into action, it's actually worth nil. It's absolutely worthless. We can have a wonderful building up here and understand everything and behave like jerks. And it comes down to how we behave, and that's why also what I feel like what Ochiyama wanted to express. It wasn't how much he understood, you know, or how much...

[20:27]

how much understanding he had about emptiness. It was how we can express that. And we can start at that end. We can start. We can actually not have any understanding, but if we truly begin to treat everything with radical respect, we will start to understand. It's not we have... We don't have to read one book to understand how life works. Our bodies are enough to help us understand that. And Token says, you know, which continues from what Linda was saying, it says... It says, on the great road of Buddha ancestors, there is always unsurpassable practice, continuous and sustained.

[21:31]

It is the circle of the way and is never cut off. Between aspiration, practice, enlightenment and nirvana, there is not a moment's gap. Continuous practice is the circle of the way. And then the power of this continuous practice confirms you as well as others. It means your practice, your actions, affects the entire Earth and the entire sky in the ten directions. So the smallest action we do affects the entire Earth and the entire sky. It is so. It's like in science now, we know a butterfly can do this somewhere, and then somewhere else we have at some point a big storm. So each of our actions affects the entire Earth and the entire sky in the ten directions.

[22:38]

Although not noticed by others or yourself, it is so. It's not we... We flip our finger and then we see what happens in the whole universe. Or we smile and we see what happens in the whole universe. But it is affecting everything. And Hafez says that in a poem where he says, now, now, now, each moment is the time for you to know that all you do is sacred. So Uchiyama Roshi, in his last day of life, says, I bow. Just bow. Putting my right and left hands together as one, I just bow. Just bow to become one with Buddha and God.

[23:43]

Just bow. to become one with everything I encounter. Just bow to become one with all the myriad things. Just bow as life becomes life. So the instruction in Zazen is, can we be open to what arises? And we could just say, That might help you in zazen, when something comes up that's really difficult, to internally see if you can put your palms together and bow to it. In the poem Lost, it says you have to treat it like a powerful stranger, have to ask permission to know it and be known. It goes both ways. Hafez says, there, there, there, or here, here.

[24:45]

I bow my head at the feet of every creature. This constant submission and homage of kissing God all over, someday every lover will do. Only there I prostrate myself against the beauty of each form. For when I bring my heart, close to any object, I always hear the friend say, Hafez, I am here. So it's Buddha bowing to Buddha. In the Jewish tradition, when God created the world, in the Hasidic interpretation, the female aspect of God said she wanted to go into the world.

[25:51]

If he created a world away from himself in some ways, she wanted to be there. And so there's an understanding in the Hasidic tradition that every object has a piece of the Shekhinah, I don't know exactly how to pronounce it, Shekhinah, in it, and it needs to be seen, needs to be honored, needs to be liberated in a spoon, in a tool, in a tree, in all phenomena. That's the same understanding of honoring everything that Uchiyama Roshi expresses. And he's Probably he and Suzuki Roshi must have talked because Suzuki Roshi also says something about bowing, which resonates very much with what Uchiyama says. He says, bowing is a very serious practice.

[26:55]

You should be prepared to bow even in your last moment. Even though it is impossible to get rid of our self-centered desires, we have to do it. Our true nature wants us to. That hearts back to Hakuin, who, why don't you tell that guy to do the work himself? And he says he has no tools. So then he says, when you bow to Buddha, you should have no idea of Buddha. You just become one with Buddha. You are already Buddha himself. When you become one with Buddha, one with everything that exists, you find the true meaning of being. When you forget all your dualistic ideas, everything becomes your teacher and everything can be the object of worship.

[28:04]

Everything can be the object. of utmost respect. Then he says, in your practice you should accept everything as it is, giving to each thing the same respect given to a Buddha. Here there is Buddhahood. Then Buddha bows to Buddha and you bow to yourself. This is the true bow. And that's something I feel like We can pick that up and start with that every moment. It's always possible to remember and treat everything as Buddha. Even if we can't see how this can be Buddha, it doesn't matter. You don't have to see, because it says you shouldn't have an idea about Buddha. It's not like, oh yeah, this person I can treat as Buddha because I can see how they are Buddha. That's deluded.

[29:06]

Everything is Buddha. This whole life is Buddha. And then he says something that I also find important. And it's under the chapter Emptiness. When you study Buddhism, you should have a general house cleaning of your mind. Sweep everything out of it. So... We soon will have work day again and room cleaning. So that's very good. And then he says... As long as we have some definite idea about or some hope in the future, we cannot really be serious with the moment that exists right now.

[30:15]

You may say, I can do it tomorrow or next year, believing that something that exists today will exist tomorrow. Even though you are not trying so hard, You expect that some promising thing will come as long as you follow a certain way. So do we come to the Zen though hoping that something will happen? Then we'll miss what's happening because we're waiting for something, we're looking for something. Do we come to be a good look like a good sense student? Do we not come because then I'm being myself? I'm not being ruled by these standards here? Or all those things. But there is no certain way that exists permanently. There is no way set up for us.

[31:18]

Moment after moment, we have to find our own way. some idea of perfection or some perfect way which is set up by someone else is not the true way for us. When we realize that everything we see is a part of emptiness, we can have no attachment to any existence. We realize that everything is just a tentative form and color. So, We are all tentative. I find this such a beautiful word. It's not this fixed, substantial, continuous entity. We are all and everything is a tentative form. And if we can practice respecting and learning how to, we see every moment when we look at our actions, where we do and when we don't,

[32:29]

And we can keep making the effort to bringing that respect. And that will clean out our mind. And it's not that this is the only way. There are innumerable ways. And some of them really do go through the mind and through intellectual understanding. There's nothing wrong with that. So I just keep... bringing forward the body in this practice period because in some ways it's all I can do. So you just have to bear with me. I can't talk about the philosophy of emptiness. I can't really... For me, it's not a language I can use. Which doesn't mean there's something wrong with that language. So I just want to apologize to the ones that are hungry for that and don't get it here.

[33:34]

But it's in the library and there are some teachers who can discuss that with you and some friends here. So we are all kind of one... I don't want to say one-sided, but we have particular pathways. So please do... Do use your pathways, but I would like to also encourage you to use, to try on some of this one. You know, I go and listen to Reb for years. He's my teacher, which is always kind of a mystery to me how he's my teacher. And to many people, but he's a great teacher for me. Maybe it's a mystery to him, but... He didn't kick me out. And he keeps talking, and I do not understand a word. And he's happy, and he's walking around and doing his acrobatics up there, and I sit there and go, Chinese?

[34:39]

What language is he talking? And then occasionally there's a sentence or a word that I can relate to my experience, to the experiences I have. And we get along okay, Reb and I. When he invited me to be Shusoh, I suddenly said, oh my God, I can't give a talk on any of the sutras or any of the scriptures. And I took all my courage together and went and saw him and said, Reb, you know, I cannot give it, you know. Because I've tried to do these study curriculums over and over, and I just, anyway. I said, I can't give a talk on any of that, so maybe you should wait. And his answer was, Zen is a tradition outside the scriptures. He didn't think that was a problem. I did, and I still do sometimes. Samantha Barger will live here for a little bit.

[35:42]

I miss him in my cabin. but I know where he is. And I really feel we're doing that already, what I'm talking about. Everything is so, you know, whatever hells you're going through, your own hells and difficulties and struggles, overall, here is such a peaceful feeling in the valley. And that has something to do with how you tend to it so it doesn't get expressed so much through the body. The more we tend to what's going on inside with kindness and presence and compassion and basic interest, the less it has to spill over. The less we drop it on somebody because that's just then the person that

[36:44]

makes bucket overflow, you know, that happens to be there. So, and I feel it's the most, in some ways the most peaceful practice period I have experienced. It's the least big, you know, huge drama so far. We still can do a few. So, don't despair. So thank you very much. This is our last day in this format for this Sesshin. And be kind to yourself and honest with yourself. It goes hand in hand. It's wonderful. The more honest we are and upright in what's going on, the kinder we are. We can be.

[37:45]

because then we can see a little more. So thank you all so much. Oh, did anybody have a question? Yes, Chusso, former Chusso. Tanto. Well, there's going to be questions tonight. Yes. Yes. Do you want to say something about that? Okay, tonight we'll have another showtime called Shosan. Even the Japanese called it show, you know. Where you can ask a question.

[38:45]

Thank you, kitchen. You are feeding us so wonderfully. Thank you. And it's really important and the most alive when you bring a question that is reconnected with your life right now, with your life experience these days. And you've done a great job last time. So I think you all understand that. That comes from your heart. That's not testing or... It's not about... We're not in a test. We're really bringing forward questions that are living with you. Whether or not you want them to live with you.

[39:46]

They're just here. So, and we try to keep it concise and together, and I will try too, because last time was the very first time I did a showsalm. So I'm one of those late bloomers. And, you know, one time and then only time thing going on. So, anyway, and... So if you have anything you want to say now, you can, but you can also wait till tonight. It's nice. Thank you, Leslie. I do look more over here. It was fabulous last time. And I told them what you told me, and I did what you did. I moved my seat around. And I, again, realize I've been looking more to the left again, but... Oh, okay.

[40:55]

Good. Thank you. Yes. So I heard you actually addressed this question, but I wanted you to maybe address it a little bit more. When I'm confronted with the magnitude of my actions, I recoil a little bit, because I'm told that they're so influential, and they're so great, and it's a part of the universe, and all this good stuff, and if I keep going along that track, I kind of fall into this doubt, because I don't see it, and if I do actually think that my actions are that important, then I get a little, I don't want to say heady, but... It's in the way of actual wholehearted action. Yes. That's a great study of self that tries to grapple with this.

[41:57]

But you can come back to... I mean, one suggestion is to come back to... I don't know how you all are feeling around the practice by the coffee-tea area, but... If you, for example, if you serve and you serve with attention and you serve with kindness, you will feel differently in your body and in your heart and in your mind than when you serve with irritation because something happened. And that irritation is in your movements, is in your mind, is in your heart. It will leave you with another feeling. And I think that's how we are connected to how our actions influence everything. We can feel it in ourselves, how they influence everything, because we are part of everything. We are everything. Go back to Rilke's poem.

[43:00]

So we are actually, we have a gauge in our body, in our mind. And we can also feel that when I act irritably, for example, it ups my irritability. It gets more and more and more. But if I do a gesture of generosity or of kindness, or each time I come to the coffee-tea area and it's taken care of, I feel like they did it for me. I'm taken care of. It's not like they think of me, but I receive it. And everybody else receives it when you get there. And then you do it for everybody when you are the one doing it. So that's a way of getting away from thinking, what does that mean? And that's so magnanimous. Just come back to those little things. Yes, Danny.

[44:01]

Well, it says that we should not make an idea about Buddha. So that's not knowing mind. And you treat them as respectful, not going through your mind, do they deserve respect or not? You know, because your mind may have your usual self-centered, self-referencing mind usually says, well, you deserve this and you deserve... We think people deserve how we treat them. Otherwise, we wouldn't treat them that way. So, to say treat everything as Buddha is... We don't know. You know, it says it takes a Buddha to recognize a Buddha. So... If we treat everybody with the respect, with just utmost respect, not knowing, and knowing in some ways that regardless of what we perceive, this is another life form.

[45:30]

This is another equally respected life form. That's what is meant. That's kind of a not knowing. Does that respond to your question? Do you have things you deeply respect? Okay, and you know how that feels, right? So why not apply that, and then how that makes you be with those things, be it material things or people, but that will influence how you treat them, right? So you can just start treating everybody in the same way, even though you don't feel the same way about them.

[46:34]

And that will have an effect. Yes, Christ. more about it. I only found the oldest sutra and the other Tamsaka sutra. And he seems to be invisible otherwise. Well, actually in the Chinese tradition he's one of the primordial Buddhas in the Tibetan tradition. And there's a whole practice around him. So, yeah, he's not so... I don't know more.

[47:43]

See, that's part of why I'm not a scholar. It's not like, for me, it's sufficient. It engages me in such complete ways that I don't need to know where all he appears and what all his aspects are. But for some people, that's very important. So I can't help you. Yes, Tonto, can you help her? Can't it be enough? She wants more. Well, I think it's an interesting question, and I would really encourage you to keep following it.

[48:53]

Maybe you look a little bit in the Tibetan tradition. Yes, Seijun. Okay, so... See, that's the wonderful thing. We all together have so much wisdom. Just tap into it. Okay, good. So, well, time moved slowly today. It's only 20 past 10. I thought it was way later. So maybe for you it moved terribly slowly. when you transition, see if you can not be ahead of yourself to where you're going, but with yourself as you're going. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[50:00]

Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

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